LOCKED TOPIC

How to go about this?

Hello, I know I just made a topic, I would post there but it's locked... I said I was a 14 y/o male, 81lbs, 5'2", and you suggested to see a doctor.  Unfortunately that's not really an option for me.  Anyways I was eating between 900-1300 cals on most days before, though not doing any exercise.  I was wondering if it would be all right if I could just eat what I want now and be a normal teenager and follow my stomach's growls -- that's what I would most prefer to do, essentially just eat as a child does, not caring about calorie count ect.  I guess what I'd want to do is just forget all about calories.  Good idea or no?

Hey, just to begin, I'm fourteen too and I'm really interested in helping you in any way I can because I know exactly what you're going through and I don't want you to suffer any more than you have to. I let it go for years before I commited to "recovery" and I don't want anyone else to wait like I did!

Anyway, why is it that you're not able to see a doctor? Are your parents concerned? Surely if you explained to them what was going on they would understand. If you're afraid to talk to them, don't be - it's important and they need to know ASAP.

As far as "intuitive eating" goes, I'd say at this point you actually NEED to eat more than a "usual teenager" since at your weight you NEED to gain. Sometimes after a period of calorie restriction the body completely loses its normal "hunger and fullness" cycles and therefore you will not be able to automatically 'know' how much your body really needs by feeling alone. I wish it was that easy, but trust me, in a situation like this, it's not.

Far by the easiest thing to do is to have a plan. Plan your meals and find a calorie amount that you need to gain and STICK TO IT. As a male you'll need 3,000 at least. If you're completely sedentary that might be all it takes, but if you're active you may need upwards of 3,500 or even more like 4,000. I know this seems huge coming up from 900, but just try to at least increase to 1,500 or so to start and increase by several hundred each week or every few days. Just don't go too slow or you may lose your motivation and become discouraged.

If you find it difficult to eat so much food at once, try eating smaller, more frequent meals instead of three squares. I follow a plan like this and it helps me out a BUNCH. I would never be able to eat three 1,000 calorie meals, but six 500 calorie ones doesn't seem so bad now does it?

Message me anytime you need advice.

Thank you so much for your help :)

Zeb is right and I just wanted to second it and also really wanted to stress talking to your parents. I am not sure why you are unable to go to the doctor but you need to. It sounds like you are in a very bad place and you are so young and have a whole life ahead of you that you don't want an ed to ruin. When refeeding it is almost impossible to go with hunger cues because your body and mind is so confused. You should not have to face this alone and I hope you will push through and get more help.

There is no way that on so few calories you are fuelling your body with what it needs. The minimum intake for a sedentary male under 21 is 1800 per day. And believe it or not, that’s only the sedentary minimum. Unless you are very, very short and small, and/or if you are working out it is very likely you will need even more calories than those minimum guidelines.

As you are so dangerously underweight, you need to gain weight. To do so you need to be eating at least 3000 calories sedentary to gain steadily and keep the weight on. If you begin to work out you will need to eat more. Therefore you need to be counting, unfortunately, even if you'd rather not. For more info on this read here: THE AIM IS TO GAIN: A Guide to Weight Gain, Whatever Your Reason - UPDATED

Eating too low a calorie intake, or having a deficit from your BMR greater than 1000 results in something called "survival mode", where your body holds every last thing it can get in expectance of a famine. Water, food, calories. Explained:

• Dieting & Metabolism - This article explains starvation mode and why undereating is counter productive.
• The Body Neglected - This is what happens when you undereat for an extended period of time. 
• "Obesity on 700 Calories" - A tale of starvation mode's devistating effects, and proof you don't have to be underweight to be starving.
• From Ask Mary, the segment provided by our CC nutritionist Mary Hartley: On the dangers of undereating and what it does to your body.

Your BMI makes you dangerously underweight. The physical dangers that come with undereating and being underweight are numerous. You put yourself at risk of osteoporosis, of loss of libido and erectile dysfunction, hair loss, electrolyte problems, a weakening of the immune system, low blood pressure, blood disorders such as anemia, heart problems, and even death. The mental woes that come alongside can be just as devestating. Depression is common in undereaters, as well as distorted perceptions and problems like Body Dysmorphic Disorder.

You are describing a disordered eating pattern and your most immediate concern should be your health - and for that that means you need to talk to your doctor and your family and increase your calories. But know this: Calorie Count's mission is to promote healthy and sustainable weight management and if you are not seeking to manage your weight healthily we cannot and will not help you.

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How much do you think I should gain?  I don't feel skinny at all, personally.  And once I gain this weight do I still have to countie eating 3000+ calories?

You probably need to weigh at least 110 pounds, but you should really see a doctor to help you figure out where you need to be. You are only 14, you are still growing. You need to get at least up to that weight to ensure that you do not stunt yourself.

How much you will need to maintain your weight will depend on several things. Like your activity level, your average rate of weight gain, and how much taller your predicted height is(see your doctor!!). I can tell you this much: as a teenage boy, you are going to need at least 2500, probably a good deal more, in order to maintain your weight. I am a 20-year old female, essentially sedentary (save the three days were I do strength-training. whoopee) and I need at least 2800-3000 calories a day to maintain. Sedentary. I haven't gone back to school, gotten a new job, nothing. It took me 3600 to gain a pound a week.

My brother had that "I'm too skinny but I feel fat" issue as well. Once your weight gets to a healthy number, you can start doing some lifting and muscle building. It really helped him (and me too!) with his confidence about the way he looked - feeling physically stronger seemed to make him feel more secure in himself as well. So maybe it will help you too.