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you need to talk to her tell her how you are feeling and what you are struggling with im sure she will help you to overcome this . you could ask her to put things hidden just until you feel more able to cope, are you seeing anyone for the binging ? i really think you need help outside to overcome this h x

are there any foods that are more triggering than others perhaps you mum could help you to introduce them into your diet in a balanced way so you are eating normally to help you see that you can eat and not binge . im sorry if im not much help i really feel for you and want to help you but im not sure i can help you . could you meet with your team and your mum and discuss it together ?

My bf and I just had an argument about this. I told him that I crave candy so much when in the house (and I know that it's mostly mental, but high fructose corn syrup is so addicting) it is hard to resist. I asked him to please respect my wishes and asked him to keep his candy and junk in his own place, away from the rest of the food. It's not like it's healthy or NEEDED in the house, so there's no point to arguing about it.

It's a compromise: Fine, have it in the house, but keep it in your drawers, closet, car...whatever. 

How old are you? It is my house that i have these arguments with my bf about, and he has no choice but to respect my wishes, but I hope that when we live together, we can compromise in the future as well. Do you buy your own groceries? Or does your mother buy most of them? I think that if you're dependent on her and it's her house, unfortunately it is her rules. Otherwise, don't argue with her, explain to her how important this is to you.

What if you went grocery shopping with her? That way she can pick what she wants, but you can suggest better options for you and explain why they are a good choice. She gets her food, and you get your healthy options.

My mother is incredibly unhealthy and obese. I worry about her weight all the time and try to "educate" her on foods and exercise, and I get no where. It's frustrating. If they wont listen to our advice, well, then we'll just have to let them live their own lives and concentrate on our own well being. You may have to splurge a bit of your own cash grocery shopping, but it's probably worth it, right?

I'd suggest the 'out of sight out of mind' approach.  If she can agree to buy her favourites but put them somewhere away from the other foods (not 'lock and key' but less accessible) then you'll probably leave them alone. 

And then there's the flipside to this... why you feel the need to eat this much in the first place.   Common reasons would include boredom, a poor diet (or a diet too low in calories), stress, fatigue.   'Lack of control' is rarely the sole problem.

Original Post by somegirl1988:

she sees the solution to try and force me to eat more/put on weight which upsets ME. .

 Are you underweight?  Why would your mother want you to put on weight?

Well then there's the real problem.  Not that you 'struggle with bingeing' but that you're keeping your weight artificially low and undereating in order to do so.   It's not 'bingeing' it's probably sheer hunger and necessity that's driving you to forage for energy in the form of sugary snacks.  No wonder your mother is exasperated.  This really isn't her fault at all ... it's all stemming from you being underweight.

Be rational and see the real problem rather than lash out blaming someone who is actually giving you good advice.... Those 'big healthy meals' are exactly what you need and I think you know that so how about making more of an effort?  Eat more at your main meals, get up to a healthy weight, give your body better nourishment and then you won't need to steal snacks and you wouldn't struggle with bingeing. 

If you gained weight it would probably help.   Also if you worked out how many calories you actually need it would help as well.  So many younger women think that if they eat more than ... let's say.... 2000 calories this means they have some abnormally gargantuan appetite.  When, in reality, many people in their late teens and early twenties - even if they're only lightly active - need a lot of energy to keep them going. 

If you're eating lots of sugary snacks but not gaining weight then the logical conclusion is that you're only getting enough calories to maintain your (very low) weight.   If you converted all the calories from sugary snacks into calories from better foods you could eat like a king.

I'd suggest therefore that you do the maths and work out a healthier diet.  2500 cals a day initially so that you gain some weight....  Have a look at this suggested menu for young people if you don't understand about healthy eating. http://www.eatwell.gov.uk/agesandstages/teens /weeklymenu/  And also try to find something constructive to do with your time.  A job, perhaps, to get you out of the house all day.  I think you'd be happier and, from your mum's perspective, a lot nicer to live with.

If you're depressed, underweight, bulimic and binge-eating then you should seek help from a doctor... ask to be referred to someone who can help.  Maybe a therapist could include your mother in the conversation so that your recovery is more of a team effort?   You mother is not a trained eating disorder counsellor and is currently treating you like a normal person.... and so everything she's saying to you has to be seen in that light.  People with eating disorders are irrational, difficult and - basically - a lot of hard work.  I wouldn't like to live with someone with an eating disorder either.   If she was to be involved in the treatment programme and if you were to work on specific problems together with supervision from experts then it may be more constructive.

As regards the calorie intake recommendation.  You're only 20 years old and this website is not calibrated for under-21s... so it understates your needs.  Almost no-one is truly 'sedentary'... and if you really do just roll out of bed onto the sofa every day and back again then building some activity into your day could help on a lot of levels. 

And since diet and behaviour are linked, a better diet, better nutrition, some bigger meals, more energy and so forth could well elevate your mood.

See your doctor?

I don't know if this helps but I had a secret binge the next day  I confided in my mum, crying about how it made me feel and how guilty it was doing so in secret and how it could set me up to restrict to compensate. So we compromised she hides the foods I am afraid I could end up going crazy on and if I feel like some I can ask for it. Enjoy it in moderation and in public. There needn't be any guilt or need to hide!

I also make sure I brush my teeth and go to bed with everyone elsse. Being up alone late at night seems to be a trigger. Talking helps alot, but I am luck to have very patient and unerstanding parents, open relationships are very supportive. Good luck sweet pea!

Original Post by quirkyturkey:

I also make sure I brush my teeth and go to bed with everyone elsse.

It doesn't sound as if you are vomiting but I thought I would point this out for the OP:

Don't brush your teeth after vomiting, the acid still in your mouth will cause enamel erosion as you just brush the acid over your teeth again.

Of course, dental, throat  and heart problems are good reasons in themselves to stop purging behaviour immediately. It is often easier to commit to stop purging rather than committing to stop binging. After purging stops, binging behaviour usually becomes rapidly less severe - there is much less incentive to binge if you know you are going to digest whatever you eat, and you also won't be getting as hungry.

Again, to the OP: the following website is immensely helpful: http://www.bulimiahelp.org/