Who am I?!

Hello,

I'm dating this guy right now, he's a stereotypical conservative republican. In every sense. It doesn't matter to me, I love him anyway.

Well last night I got to thinking...what about me? What do I stand for? He seems so grounded in his ideas. I was raised by a very liberal mother, and always considered myself liberal well...just because. But if my boyfriend goes to talk about an issue, I find it very easy to wholeheartedly agree with him. Does that make me more of a conservative? I have realized that in the past with more liberal boyfriends I have a hard time agreeing with their veiwpoints on certain issues.

But I don't want to be anyone who I'm not. I don't want a boyfriend to determine who I am and how I think.

But what do you think?

Maybe you are a conservative.  Everyone has to decide their own leanings, in spite of how they were raised or what their parents are.

In my late teens, I always thought I was fairly liberal with a conservative streak.  The older I get, the more I realize that I'm just liberal.  The conservative "streak" is just ideas I have from my childhood which were instilled by my parents and which, upon further examination, I've discovered I don't really agree with.  I really am "me" now, because I'm thinking for myself, which I think is the key.

If you really agree with your boyfriend, and more tellingly, did NOT agree with your liberal boyfriends, then that might be saying something to you.  Just because your mother was/is liberal and you've always identified yourself that way doesn't mean you can't or didn't change.

Yeah, its definitely easy to get wrapped up in other people's views. Maybe you just need to think about the issues that are important to you and decide where you stand. Maybe you are more conservative than you thought, or moderate. Just think for yourself and don't let people or the media influence you!

People who are passionate about anything and speak well tend to be able to sway those who haven't really thought about their own views.  You could well be more conservative than you thought, you could not have very strong feelings about an issue and therefore find it easier to agree with his, or you could just need to think more about where you actually stand :)  You won't really know till you explore what you think a bit more (without his narration of the issue)

You might be leaning conservative. Is the issue of what to call yourself, or that he might be influencing your own opinions and you don't think you have your own?

On somewhat related issue I hate when people vote based on party affiliation. On some ballets there is even an "auto" option to vote based on party. Vote on the issues, not just because someone is in the same party!

UD

I honestly wouldn't base what you believe off of how much you agree with your current boyfriend or how much you disagreed with your exes.  These instances could just be a function of who is more convincing.  I would tell you to do some independent research.  Find out what principles you agree with and which ones you don't.  There are numerous quizzes online. This is one that I like:

http://www.politicalcompass.org/

It measures both social and fiscal principles, so you get a pretty accurate picture of where you stand.

Also, remember, you don't have to label yourself as just progressive/liberal or conservative.  There are loads of different principles...you could be socially liberal and fiscally conservative, or vice versa.  It's not always black and white. 

Also, your parents are not always the best indicator of what you believe.  My parents are gung-ho conservative republicans.  I am a gung-ho progressive (although I don't really call myself a democrat...both political parties in the US annoy me).  I starting growing out of my parents' brainwashing around the age of 17. 

Original Post by shuber84:

But what do you think?

 You don't know who you are, and we aren't going to be able to tell you with this little information.

You aren't Frank Abagnale, Jr. are you?

Original Post by trhawley:

You aren't Frank Abagnale, Jr. are you?

 You kidding?  If I had been him, I would have never been caught.

This is a trick question, isn't it?

Sometimes people who are very vocal about their beliefs seem to be very convincing because they are skewing the facts. Not to say that your boyfriend is, but that's just politics in general. I think kbella's political compass is a good start. It's hard to judge where you stand when you only know one side of the story. Make sure you get educated on all accounts. ;)

I love the political compass site. It really does help pinpoint where a person falls. Take the quiz without reading too much of the site first. Then go back and read the explanations of how and why they ask the questions they do.

I think part of you questioning is probably because you haven't yet taken the time to think through what you believe. I know when I was much younger it was very easy to listen to someone who was passionate and well spoken and find myself agreeing. This was and still is to some extent particularly true if I have not looked at the facts on both sides of the issue and thought about it.

Oh yeah, I also meant to say that your political affiliation (whatever it may be) is (hopefully) only a tiny little part of who you are and how you define yourself...

and it's quite possible to be conservative on certain issues and liberal on others.

Original Post by moonikins:

I love the political compass site. It really does help pinpoint where a person falls. Take the quiz without reading too much of the site first. Then go back and read the explanations of how and why they ask the questions they do.

I think part of you questioning is probably because you haven't yet taken the time to think through what you believe. I know when I was much younger it was very easy to listen to someone who was passionate and well spoken and find myself agreeing. This was and still is to some extent particularly true if I have not looked at the facts on both sides of the issue and thought about it.

 This past election (2008) was the first time I had actually educated myself on the candidates and where they stood on important issues. Not just issues I found important to myself, but issues that I believed were important to our country.  In the past I had always relied on my husband to tell me who to vote for. (I know, I know; unforgivable!) Anywho, it turns out that my views were the total opposite of my huband's!  So I had been voting based on his opinions for years, without taking my own into account!

Long story short, I voted for President Obama; he did not.  It actually caused quite a rift in our family that hasn't been healed, just ignored.  That being said, I believe I made the right choice, and I know I'm a better person for having stood up for what I believe in, even if it my husband chose to become angry over it. (We are currently separated! No fault of our election choices though! lol)

So, learn to make your own decisions and to form your own opinions.  You will ultimately be a stronger individual in the end!

Original Post by alaskanmama:
This past election (2008) was the first time I had actually educated myself on the candidates and where they stood on important issues. Not just issues I found important to myself, but issues that I believed were important to our country.  In the past I had always relied on my husband to tell me who to vote for. (I know, I know; unforgivable!) Anywho, it turns out that my views were the total opposite of my huband's!  So I had been voting based on his opinions for years, without taking my own into account!

Long story short, I voted for President Obama; he did not.  It actually caused quite a rift in our family that hasn't been healed, just ignored.  That being said, I believe I made the right choice, and I know I'm a better person for having stood up for what I believe in, even if it my husband chose to become angry over it. (We are currently separated! No fault of our election choices though! lol)

So, learn to make your own decisions and to form your own opinions.  You will ultimately be a stronger individual in the end!

Huge kudos to you for starting to vote based on your own believes. I want to bang my head against the wall every time I hear that someone voted based on: who their parents/friends/SO voted for, or just because the candidate is in the same party. Vote on issues!

UD

Just because concervative ideas he brings up are reasonable..and u can agree with them.. doesnt mean they are right. U have to look at it from a fair point of view. Is it right for EVERYONE ? or right for just him and other conservatives..but not hte general population.

Stuff like that

I agree with some things that concervatives say but I would never vote for them... because its not the BEST  thing i could agree with. I might find something else more agreeable..which I usually do

I urge you to take a political ideology questionnaire or some sort of test that will ask the appropriate questions in order for you to determine where you stand.  You may be surprised at what you learn, and I'm sure it will be an interesting topic to talk to him about.

I did the political compass survey. It told me I was a social libertarian. That's not even remotely close to being true. There must have been some mistake. I took it again, and it gave me the same answer. I researched the ideals of the social libertarian and I can say, with 100% confidence that I don't believe in any of those things. Honestly. I don't swing that way.

Does anyone have any other political surveys they can reccomend? This one really didn't work for me. Maybe I wasn't paying enough attention to the questions?

Just to make sure we are on the same page, what ideas of social libertarianism don't you agree with?

Original Post by shuber84:

I did the political compass survey. It told me I was a social libertarian. That's not even remotely close to being true. There must have been some mistake. I took it again, and it gave me the same answer. I researched the ideals of the social libertarian and I can say, with 100% confidence that I don't believe in any of those things. Honestly. I don't swing that way.

Does anyone have any other political surveys they can reccomend? This one really didn't work for me. Maybe I wasn't paying enough attention to the questions?

 Go back to the website and read how they come up with the questions and how they measure it. I think you might be surprised.

If you answered the questions honestly, then it is measuring what you answered, not what you think you feel. You may be experiencing confusion because what you thought you believed is quite what you believe.

Digest the information and start looking around to see how you feel about those issues as you read/hear about them.

Maybe I'm not reading this correctly, this is what I got:

Now what does this mean?! The explanation is confusing to me.