Not okay to ask

Why is it that after you have lost weight people feel it is okay to ask how much you weigh?  Does anyone else find this rude?  I understand that people are not used to seeing me look like this (I went from 167 to 116) however I don't feel the appropriate response is how much do you weigh!  Or that I need to eat more, I am very small structure so I don't look sick at this weight it is almost like people want to sabotage you.  Anyone else come across this?

These people probably just admire you for how much weight you've lost. And also, take notice next time they ask... they're eyes might literally be bulding out of their heads. Why? It's jealousy. Who wouldn't want to shed a few points? They are probably curious and hungry to steal your secrets so that they can look as gorgeous as you do. ^^

Well done for losing all that weight! Be proud of yourself and let them ask... you can boast and make them feel bad (in a joking way, of course). You've come so far, don't let a question make you feel like your privacy is being invaded. Remember; it's just curiousity, admiration and a heck load of JEALOUSY!

People are just dumb sometimes.  What they mean is, "Wow, you look great!"  What they say is some variation of ridiculousness that ends up being rude, intrusive, thoughtless and/or idiotic.  They don't even realize it usually.

So, how much do you weigh?  50 lbs less.  or my fav... Why do you ask?

my favorite is.........."I'm glad I am not dieting like you, I like to enjoy my life" lol

NOOOO to diets,,,,,,,,,its all about the life style change! haha but no use if they don't listen lol

or wait a better one......"YOU make me feel fat" as they reach for the fries and you take a sip of water....lol lol!! this is fun haha

Well, on this site i think its ok.. lol

But in real life, its still just as rude to ask as it was 50 lbs ago.

I prefer the question "how much have you lost" or something.

Doesnt matter how much you weigh, asking someone for their weight is just rude.

They're assuming you're proud of what you did and will want to tell people about it.  Take it as a compliment.

When they ask how much you weigh, all you have to do is say, 'I weigh XX pounds less than when I started.' Normally, that'll give them the hint that you're not going to tell them your weight. It's none of their bees wax.

how tall are you? over 50 pounds lost? that's pretty dramatic but if it's healthy then it's fine. i think some people might be jealous, others concerned, and others wanting similar results so they are curious at what the loss looks like in terms of a concrete number.

I wouldn't give them the answer. I'd just say "I've lost quite a bit". If they press you for numbers, then that means they don't mind being rude to you, so therefore you shouldn't mind returning the gesture. If they press you, just say "the exact number is not important, but I'd be happy to tell you how to live healthier if that's what you need".

Oh  - and congrats!

V.

Original Post by csbs:

They're assuming you're proud of what you did and will want to tell people about it.  Take it as a compliment.

 This...

When people ask me,I feel so proud to say how much I weigh...But around where I live,people don't ask because they think it will be depressing for them to know how much I weigh lol I do not know..it is like when I start saying..they are like..don't say

when I am at the scale weighing myself,over-weight people go somewhere else so they won't see the number of the scale when I am on it...

well I think it should be motivational to see people who are fit or slim or thinner than you are...it is not depressing..it should motivate you..like if some people have made it that far,you can,too..or I still have some to go..a few more pounds to shed to look even better...

Thanks for all the replies, I got a laugh from a bunch of them.  I will definitely keep them all in mind next time I get the question.  While I am proud of myself for finally doing something about my weight instead of feel bad about it I still don't like answering the How much do you weigh question.  I think next time I should just ask them the same question!

Ive only had one person ask me how much i weigh.


My dentist lmao he was asken me about how i did and stuff then at end he asked what do i weight now lol.



Didnt bather me im proud of my weight now so i proudly told him.

I tell people how much I weigh now, and it's the heaviest I've ever been. Telling them or keeping the exact number a secret doesn't make me look any different. I probably pretty insensitive to it, but I don't think it's a big deal.   When I lost 30lbs, they can know numbers then too.  Reality is reality, and I don't waste my energy being upset about facing it. But it's not for everyone.

Congrats on the 116. That's fantastic.

Yeah, that's pretty rude.

But, it's probably better than when someone asked me when my baby was due....and I wasn't pregnant.

even worst my friend got asked if she went on pills when she lost 50 pounds, ppl are just rude sometimes

But it isn't actually rude.  It is only that we internalise the comments and identify so closely with our weight.

I need to lose weight now because I've been lazy recently, haven't been to the gym enough and have been indulging a bit much.  Simple as that.  Not because I am a bad or inferior person.  A bit like getting behind on the cleaning, I've been busy and haven't been putting the effort in.

I was living around 10 1/2 stone but went up to 11 1/2 and I am now just over 11.  On top of that I've shrunk slightly (from 5 ft 3 3/4 in to 5 ft 2 1/2 in (!!???!!!) meaning my bmi has gone up and I've got to pay attention to the state of my bones.  All of this is just fact.  It is like asking what my blood pressure is.  There isn't actually anything offensive about it.

Now, when I was 13 1/2 stone a number of years ago, I hated myself and used to walk down the street looking at everyone who passed me trying to work out who was bigger and who was smaller and where I fit and I would never dream of mentioning my weight to anyone and would have found the question rude. Taking that connection away and beginning to talk about weight factually was my first step in taking control of the situation. 

Think about why you find it rude and see if you can get past that and you might find that there is something hidden beneath that which sabotages you and not the other way around.  There are some nasty people in the world but it isn't really as though the vast majority are out to get each other.  They probably mean their question innocently enough.  Why does it offend you?

Jenneyrome, you sound like a counselor! I mean that in a good way. :P

I agree. I'm not ashamed to tell people what I weigh, even though I am overweight. I look good wearing all this weight! Haha! Plus, I'm doing something about it. I'm working toward being healthy. What do I have to be ashamed of?

Exactly.

It used to be about pushing down emotion with food, blah, blah, blah.  Now it is about the fact that I went back to LA on holiday and indulged in too much Mexican comfort food and also that I spend too much time here in the pub and not enough time out and about doing active things.  I also blame my friends because no one will go ice skating with me:)  (I am currently obsessed with it - not because I am any good at all but because it will be fun but I can't seem to convince anyone else of this).

Seriously though, I ran into a good friend from high school while home visiting and she is a fitness trainer now, completely toned and looking great.  Mutual friends automatically took a defensive attitude towards her - waiting for the condemnation about their own failings.  It wasn't that at all.  She has always been someone who puts her mind to something and gets obsessive.  It works for her.  She also can't hold down social relationships very well because work always comes first.  Everything in life is a trade off and it is just a matter of deciding what it is that we want.

I don't want to be cut and overly toned.  That requires entirely too much time working out and doing nothing else and I don't think it is the sexiest look going. Plus she told me she works out 3-4 hours a day which is great if that is something that you really feel is a recreational activity.  To me it is just a necessary evil so I don't want to spend all my time doing it.  I'd like to tone up a bit.  That's why I dip my toes into this site just to remind myself that I should skip that extra little treat here or there and get my butt to the gym a bit more.