How do you do it?!

Hello there

My name is Christa and I'm a 21 year old who is struggling to find motivation. Since I've moved away from home, I've gained about 30 pounds... I feel so unhealthy and my confidence has taken a nose dive... I've been trying to lose weight for months but I can never get passed the first week.... I always give into temptation and feel sooo controlled by food. I hate feeling this way but I dont know how to overcome it..... I've read a lot of your stories and they're very inspiring.... how did you get started? How do you stop being controlled by food??

Hi Christa...I know how your feeling...I didn't relize how much weight I had gained when I moved in with my husband (before we were married).  I am a cook by profession.  It sucks to be around food that much and not be able to just eat it.  You have to find a strength from the inside to say no.  It's a tough thing to do.  I'm not strong enough everyday.  We all have bad ones.  I have found that doing this zig zag thing is nice to do.  You have a different amount of calories everyday.  If you really need to have whatever you wanted to have that was high calorie wait until you have a higher calorie day planned.  Another way is to have a free day once a week.  I was watching the biggest loser last night and they say that they get a free day once a week after their weigh ins.  I mean you have to be able to have some lee way.  Or if you have to have something like french fries just have a couple and then say okay now I have satisfied the fact i have to have this and I don't need anymore.  You just have to stay positive and know once you get your weight down you will be so much happier, healthier and positiveall around.  I hope I have been helpful.

For me, one of the keys is not to diet.  I still eat some junk food, but in moderation.  I still have my occasional ice cream kick, but for the most part I've gotten to be reasonable.

In general, I've replaced a lot of the junk food that I used to eat with healthier snacks.  I rarely eat chips, but I bought a microwave popcorn popper for those days when I want a snack like that.  I don't drink a lot of sodas, but I usually drink a diet Hansen's soda when I have the urge.  I pay attention to what goes into most of the foods that I make.  For instance, if I make a greek salad, I pay close attention to how many avocados and how much feta cheese I use.  For the most part it's just little changes that add up.  I now use brown or wild rice instead of the white.  I eat a lot more fruits and veggies than I did before. 

I think I just had to reach a point mentally where I was ready to get my weight under control.   The same as when I finally quit smoking.  When I quit smoking, I just did it cold turkey.  I was tired of wasting money on cigarettes that I didn't really enjoy, smelling like an ashtray, and being winded all the time.  So one day, I decided that I was going to quit and I did.  It was hard, but I kept a space on my white board where I would make a tick mark every day that I went without a cigarette.  Watching that line of marks grow motivated me and as the line got longer, it became easier and easier to resist the temptation to smoke (I work in a profession that seems to have more than it's fair share of smokers).

As for losing weight and eating healthy, it was a similar process.  I had been promising myself that I was going to try to lose weight for a while.  I didn't like how I looked in the mirror and when my wife had to buy me new pants because I outgrew the old ones, I had finally had enough.  I was disgusted with myself and decided to do something about it.  I read everything I could about weight loss and what worked versus what didn't.  I talked with my doctor and got his advice and he gave me some good advice.  He suggested that instead of following someone else's plan for losing weight, I should make a plan tailored to my needs.  So using what I had learned from other attempts to lose weight along with everything I had read, I came up with a plan that has helped me lose 101 pounds so far.  I constantly tweak my plan and make adjustments as I learn more.  And I constantly remind myself of why I am doing this.  It isn't just to lose a few pounds and I'm not on a diet.  I made a commitment to myself to change the way I approach food and how it affects my health.  No longer is by body a dumping ground for junk.  I have chosen a path that will let me eat foods that I like and be healthy so that I can be active again in my family's life and live to see my grandkids.

Basically, I am saying that you can't go at this half-hearted.  Make the commitment and mean it.  Do what it takes to succeed.  If you falter, then get right back into it.  You can achieve your goals, but you have to be your own best motivator.

Good Luck. 

I keep a mental picture in my mind, and repeat what it takes to get there.  I also heard something one time that made sense to me:  "Losing weight isn't hard, but it isn't easy."

I have lost more than 100 pounds, and enjoy the gym so much now.  Less on the days I have to scrape the car 4 times, but...

Keep going.  This site is a great resource, and most of the people are wonderufl friends and supporters.  You can do this, just like we can (and do!)

I think you need to start with good motivation.  If you're feeling 'so-so' about the idea of losing weight or improving your lifestyle then it's not realistically going to happen.

And then I think you need a concrete plan.  None of this airy and vague... 'I must do something'... rubbish.  And don't fall into the fad diet trap looking for a quick fix either.   You need a certain amount of discipline but it shouldn't be punishment.  Wholesale changes can be daunting so set yourself some simple goals to improve your diet each week e.g. 'I'm going to get 5-a-day fruit & veg' or 'I am going to snack on fruit instead of biscuits' and incorporate them gradually into your life.   As you achieve each goal, tick the box, and add a new one, you are automatically gaining greater control. 


Then you need to accept that your habits need to change permanently.  I know so many people that 'go on a diet' but their cupboards are full of all the same junk that made them fat, they still watch TV for 4 hours every evening and they're still on a boozy night out with the girls every Saturday, finishing up in the kebab shop!   Willpower is a finite resource and it's a mistake to think willpower will see you through.  What works better is to reshape your lifestyle so that it becomes easier for you to do the right thing than the wrong thing.

And the final one... It has to be FUN.  If you think healthy eating and exercise is a dreary, long-haul of misery, deprivation and denial which you're only prepared to endure to lose weight then you might as well not bother.  If you set out with the attitude that a healthy lifestyle is ENERGISING, REWARDING, FUN, ENJOYABLE and EXCITING - even if you don't lose an ounce - then you'll succeed.