Foods
Moderators: chrissy1988, sun123


WARNING: Pringles light!


Quote  |  Reply

 

I tried out these Pringles Fat-Free chips because they were super low-cal. BBQ flavor. the ****. 

The can said they had 70 calories per serving, which meant the whole can had 490 calories inside total. I could munch through a can in a day with my lunch, dinner, etc. So I got several cans, and began enjoying one a day for the past four days. But what they dont **** tell you...

Except in tiny print you cant read without a **** electron microscope

...is that the primary ingredient is something called "olean" which I have since learned is Latin for "Unwashable & Indestructible Ass Grease."

Oh Yeah. I'm not even kidding.

So today, while I'm standing in the living room debating whether or not Laundry or Dishes will get done first, I get the urge to fart. I live alone, so sweet. I let the honk loose and its wrong. Something just sounded wrong. I know my own wind, and I have never farted a sound that sounded like a fart wrapped in a pillow.

Oh yes, something was very wrong. I had just shat myself. But this evil olean makes **** yourself sound almost like a regular fart, and had I not been particularly attentive, it could easily have gone unnoticed, I'm telling you. THAT's how utterly covert and evil this olean stuff is. What the ****?! What if I'd gone out to hang with friends or gone for a drive, what then?

So I walk carefully to the bathroom and disrobe. before I even sit on the toilet, I wad paper and carefully wipe from the front. Sure enough, it was light brown, and had the texture of soft spackle. You **** Pringle bastards.

I sat down and pushed a bit, and lo, out came a jet that I didnt even feel an urge for one minute earlier. It piled in the bowl like brown marshmallow fluff.

The problem rose when I tried to wipe. I went through a whole **** roll of TP and could not get it all off me. So.

I jumped in the shower. Yep, its gross, but it had to be done. There I stood, water pouring down, cheeks spread, and using my own hand to make certain I'm clean.

That was when I discovered that after using my hand to wipe myself (before I soaped the area) my hand came back covered in some sort of transparent grease. It was so **** foul. The grease made water bead off my hand. It was tacky too, and very difficult to manage.

So I grabbed the bar of saop and went to work.

You **** Pringle bastards.

The bar of soap came away coated in grease as well, and would no longer wash. I had to turn the water to hot and massage the soap for five minutes to get it to the point where I could use it again. It took me an hour to get the **** grease off my pucker. I shudder to think of what its doing INSIDE ME right now, but I will damned sure never eat that **** again.

**** Pringle bastards.

 This is where the joke about "anal leakage" came from. its real. **** Pringles.

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/lax/1828 62349.html

51 Replies (last)

olean is old news. sorry you had to learn the hard way.

Oh it's not from me, god beware, though I found it quite shocking and kinda funny the way it was written :)

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/lax/1828 62349.html

I just found this "review" after looking for testimonials about that stuff. And it's rather old. (forgot to mention the source in the original post).

 

I'm just wondering how such a product can get a B-Grade on caloriecount, (that  lay's stuff too). Sure you can eat twice as much for the same kcal rate but is it worth it?

Take all CC grades with a grain of salt.  I just ate 2 Oreo cookies which I logged in and the grade was a C.  I have eated soup and Starkist Tuna Creations which will have grades of C or C+.  Snicker's bars are in the C range too.

I never ate olean because of experiences like yours.  Sorry you had to endure that mess.

Olean is the brand name of olestra which is is synthesized from sucrose, it can bond with up to 8 fatty acids. The result is too large and irregular to move through the intestinal wall and be absorbed. Olestra has the same taste and feel as fat, but it passes through the gastrointestinal tract undigested without contributing calories or nutritive value to the diet!!!! 

Urrrggggg - by the way its banned here in the Uk and in Canada!

lol i saw that article years ago, it's SO FUNNY. just the way they describe everything just makes me laugh

Hilarious!  I've never read this before.  Thanks for sharing.

Original Post by vendetta001:

Oh it's not from me, god beware, though I found it quite shocking and kinda funny the way it was written :)

I was wondering what kind of person would buy something "light", go "oh look, 70 calories a serving" and think "hey, i can eat the whole package in one day!" That doesn't sound like the usual sensible CC type of person.  :D

I have never read something so simultaneously disgusting and laugh-out-loud funny in my life.  

Fake fat does that to a body.  Sorry you had to find out that way.  Glad you were alone though, huh?

Edit:  Oh, phew!  Not a "Calorie Counter."

Original Post by fai1:

Original Post by vendetta001:

Oh it's not from me, god beware, though I found it quite shocking and kinda funny the way it was written :)

I was wondering what kind of person would buy something "light", go "oh look, 70 calories a serving" and think "hey, i can eat the whole package in one day!" That doesn't sound like the usual sensible CC type of person.  :D

Actually, that sounds like something I would think :P

LOL. Its one in the morning where I live and I just read this and it made me laugh so hard ahahahhaa. I'll make sure to stay away from that crap! That sucks man.

haha gross article! that's never happened to me from light pringles but i get that fake-fat feeling on the roof of my mouth and they don't taste right. plus it seems superr bad for you. if i'm having pringles i would rather have literally ONE real pringle than a tube of fake ones!

Oh the imagery. :O

i chuckled.

Thankfully Olean didn't/doesn't have this effect on me.  The worst of it was an oily sheen in the toilet, but everything else was business as usual. 

I could eat an entire bag of Doritos with olestra, but they make my teeth hurt for some reason.  It's almost like biting into a piece of aluminum foil. 

Original Post by antibinge:

Original Post by fai1:

Original Post by vendetta001:

Oh it's not from me, god beware, though I found it quite shocking and kinda funny the way it was written :)

I was wondering what kind of person would buy something "light", go "oh look, 70 calories a serving" and think "hey, i can eat the whole package in one day!" That doesn't sound like the usual sensible CC type of person.  :D

Actually, that sounds like something I would think :P

 Me too. I buy stuff that I can eat more of. Only now I take the health factor into consideration too. I love eating, that is why I need to lose weight now. The thing is I now know how to control the fat by eating less calories. This is exactly why I would buy something like this but not after reading this post though. LOL, LOL, LOL, LOL, LOL, LOL. Thanks for your post Vendetta. I would definitely have done the same thing if they arrived in SA before I read this

#16  
Quote  |  Reply

I want to thank you for posting this..... A) It made me laugh out loud, which I extremely needed this morning and B) I have had the urge to buy light pringles everytime I go to the grocery and I always stop myself... you have now taken that urge away hahaha but I am very sorry you learned about olean the hard way...

Jeeze! How many did you eat? Lmao.

I am so sorry this has happened to you. But on a good note, at least Pringles is on the no-no list. :)

This is one of the funniest things I've ever read.  Bwahahahahahaha

Maybe Light Pringles are secretly trying to help by telling the population that eating an entire can of chips every day, even light chips, is a bad thing? I wonder if the reaction would have been as bad if he hadn't eaten TWENTY FOUR SERVINGS OF CHIPS in the four days leading up to the incident.

I laughed so hard while reading this that one of my co-workers came into my office concerned because she thought I was crying (which I was)!!!

51 Replies (last)
Advertisement
Advertisement
Allergy Remedies
Is It Possible to Go Natural?
The side effects of allergy medications keep some people from using them. Natural remedies can be a great alternative, but some are more effective than others.