The Good - The Bad - The Worst
GOOD: Someone has a crush on you.
BAD: Their jealous psychopath spouse finds out.
WORST: And develops a crush on you too.
GOOD: You finished your holiday shopping.
BAD: Online, charging $1000s to your credit card.
WORST: So did several computer hackers.
GOOD: You boss gives you a raise.
BAD: You still have to wear the paper hat.
WORST: And now are only $1 above minimum wage.
GOOD: Youre earned a full college scholarship.
BAD: To University of Antartica..
WORST: Your roommates a hungry polar bear..
That should be more then enough to get it. So heres goes --
GOOD: You discover a cure for cancer.
Reason: Released as a sticky post
GOOD: You holiday gifts included a full year gym membership.
BAD: You find out its expired.
WORSE: You have to pay a 500 dollar fee for not using it.
or.. hehe.
GOOD: You holiday gifts included a full year gym membership.
BAD: You break one of the excercise machines.
WORSE: The machine costs 5,000 dollars and you have to replace it.
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Good: You wake up one day to find that just for that one day, you can eat anything you want and not gain a single pound.
Bad: You eat everything you want, everything, and get nauseous .
Worse: You end up in the emergency room getting your stomach pumped so it doesnt rupture.
GOOD: The dentist tells you no cavities.
Good: The dentist tell you no cavities.
Bad: But you do need braces.
Worse: Your health plan does not include dental work. CA-CHING!!!
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Good: Your gym is one of the few which are not packed with new members in the new year.
Good: Your gym is one of the few which are not packed with new members in the new year.
Bad: It's because the gym is being shut down and there aren't any new members.
Worse: It's being shut down by the Department of Health for unsanitary conditions in the locker room causing outbreaks of necrotizing fasciitis. That's not just a harmless rash on your butt...
___________________
Good: You don't have a hangover from the New Year's Eve party.
Good: You don't have a hangover from the New Year's Eve party.
BAD: So, you decide to go out to the bar with a few girlfriends, and you see your husband there.
WORSE: He's not with you, he's with your sister....
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Good: You got elected to be president of the usa.
Good: You got elected to be president of the usa
bad: you dont know if your republican or democratic
worse: im Canadian
good you got an xbox for Christmas
bad: you don't have a tv to use it with
worse: the xbox you bought was stolen and now you've been arrested for theft
good: you find that awesome pair of shoes you've been eyeing on sale
bad: you buy the only pair left which are painfully too small
worse: even on sale, they were still costly yet you cant bear to leave them on longer then 5 minutes
good: you inherit a beautiful house from a long lost relative
good: you inherit a beautiful house from a long lost relative
Bad: It's haunted by your long lost relative
Worse: Your long lost relative was a psychopath axe murderer
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Good: You now fit into your skinny jeans!
Bad: Even though you can finally zip them up they'r so tight that you look like a stuffed sausage
Worse: Its been so long since you fit int hem that they are acid washed, taper legged, and the waist hits right below your boobs. HELLO 1986!
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Good: They find a plant that can be used to cure all addictions in 100% of people.
Bad: Before announcing their discovery, the scientists who discover it are killed by hitmen from the tobocco industry.
Worse: It also wouldve cured cancer.
Good: You finished the triathalon.
Bad: The race started 18 hours ago and you're finally at the finish line
Worse: It took you so long that no one is there to congratulate you.
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Good: They approve a bill giving universal health care to all Americans.
Bad: The set the premiums to cover defense spending.
Worse: The monthly premium is $7,900 minimum.
Good: The war in Iraq has ended.
Good: The war in Iraq has ended.
Bad: Troops come home to a depleted veteran's health care system that doesn't have the funds or facilities to treat injuries or PTSD, and available troops levels fall drastically.
Worse: The US starts looking menacingly at Iran, Syria, and Pakistan.
_________________
Good: Reforms finally make it possible for all children to afford a college education.
Bad: Lowered university salaries have left only the least talented professors.
Worse: As current employees increasingly retire, the job market is flooded with presumptious unqualified 'professionals' still expecting outrageous salaries.
Good: Youve stocked up on all healthy foods.
Bad: They're locked in a cabinet that you don't have a key to open.
Worse: The only thing in the cabinets that you can access are filled with Whoppers, depp fat fried frnch fries, ice cream, and lard.
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Good: You finally saved enough money to travel Europe for 2 months and just booked all your plans
Bad: The travel agent worked out of the back of his car and his phone is now disconnected.
Worse: You also used him to invest your life savings.
Good: You find husband hires a maid who cleans the entire house.
Good: You find husband hires a maid who cleans the entire house.
BAD: You noticed a couple of things were missing; shoes, jewerly, spare cash..
Worse: You opened your bedroom door and saw your husband with the maid in your bed.....
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Good: you just won the lotto! congrats.
Bad: You never find your ticket.
Worse: Trying to win again, you waste away your life savings.
Good: Your mortgage is finally paid off.
Bad: unliked relatives show up and move in
Worse: they kick you out
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Good: you found your soul mate
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