Aging Metabolism

Hey,

I am 20 years old. There is an older woman in my life (in her late 40s) who is very healthy and lean -- does it make sense to emulate her eating or eat a little less than her? She is about 5'9" and around 150 pounds.

I recently had my stats re-evaluated at a check up and I am 5'5" and 112 pounds.

Like today I went to get ice cream with her, and I was very hungry, and she ordered a kid's size sundae, which I did too, but my boyfriend was very disappointed that I did not just get a small because even with the sundae my calories are only at 1,300 for today.

I know I am small, so does it make sense that I should get things like a kid sized sundae at ice cream parlors instead of a small?

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I'm a bit concerned about your calorie counting/weight/weight loss you have a bmi of 18.6 that is BARELY a healthy weight, BARELY, you are nearly underweight- so the fact that you've said on another post that you're trying to lose is alarming. Also, she is in her 40s, you're 20. You need more calories than her, you are a young adult. You shouldn't emulate someone else's eating, you should figure out what you need so that your body is functioning its best. I recommend you speak with a doctor/dietician/nutritionist if you want more information. You can get a small ice cream if you want a small ice cream! (on the other post you expressed that you wanted to get the small "so bad"), don't deprive yourself! You want to live for a long time and have memories, you don't want to think of all the time you spent restricting! 

Thank you very much for the information, and I really, really appreciate it! I hope that I can get ice cream with my boyfriend again soon and hopefully get a small one. It's reassuring to know that I need more than her, which I think I already knew. But I was not sure.

It's so hard to find a healthy medium -- something between OVEReating and UNDEReating. It takes so much restraint when I am eating -- like yesterday I also got a meal at a great Mexican place and it took SO MUCH effort not to eat at least 3/4 of the meal -- I ate about a third of it.

Original Post by annie342:

Thank you very much for the information, and I really, really appreciate it! I hope that I can get ice cream with my boyfriend again soon and hopefully get a small one. It's reassuring to know that I need more than her, which I think I already knew. But I was not sure.

It's so hard to find a healthy medium -- something between OVEReating and UNDEReating. It takes so much restraint when I am eating -- like yesterday I also got a meal at a great Mexican place and it took SO MUCH effort not to eat at least 3/4 of the meal -- I ate about a third of it.

I am in my mid 40's too, and maintain very easily indeed on 2,250-2,500 calories a day - yup, almost double what you are that day - and my only exercise is walking 2-3 miles most days (sundays off!).

You are eating far too little, and copying a 40 year old woman who sounds like she may have eating issues of her own (a kid's ice cream? Really?) might end up swapping one group of problems for another. Eating 1/3 of a restaurant meal is not a good sign either. A healthy girl your age should be able to maintain on anything from 2,300-3,000 depending what you do all day. Having said that, you are the very very bottom of the healthy rnage, and if you find you are needing to eat so little to maintain, that is because you are not MEANT to be BMI 18.6 - only 1 person in every hundred is meant to be that thin.

Get the icecream; eat out at restaurants and don't send 2/3 of it back! That's not the way to embrace a 'normal' life. restricting all the time will ultimately make you weak, ill, and miserable.

mrswilsonscat -- your post was very hopeful in a lot of ways -- one thing though, I have been slowly losing on an average of 1300 to 1900 a day with 5 days a week doing 45 minutes of strength training. At the beginning of the summer, I was 120 pounds and did not like it -- so I do not nescessarily think that it is bad for me to stay this weight.

I say this because I know that I could maintain on 2000 a day, I just caught in this cycle of undereating. I get really anxious about food, and then I can't make a decision.

In a lot of ways I do not think that this woman has issues about food -- she definitely is an intuitive eater, sometimes eating a rather large amount and sometimes only a small amount. Like yesterday -- she had a normal breakfast -- a little omelet with toast and jelly and creamed coffee, she ordered the same thing at the Mexican place as me and she ate about 2/3 of it, she had the tiny sundae, and then 2 thin slices of pizza, some cheese throughout the day, and even a beer. Does that sound disordered?

The family I am staying with right now often only eats two meals a day -- but each meal is pretty large, at least 800 calories if you don't have anxieties like me. I usually only take around 300-400 calories at these meals.

I too am caught up in this cycle of undereating, and am losing on an average of 1400-1500. However this last week it has been 1500 with little exercise allowed (not sure if I lost on that because I haven't seen my dietitian yet). However I am meant to be working up to maintenance, and am trying to. You need to eating those 2000 calories a day. You are already underweight, you don't need to lose anymore- if anything to be healthy and free of the anxieties of food and weight you need to gain a little. Listen to what people on here are telling you.

Personally, I wouldn't emulate anyone else's eating.  Work on developing your own way.

I hate the cycle -- I am having difficulty with it this morning. It's so hard, and I do not know how to break it.

Original Post by annie342:

I hate the cycle -- I am having difficulty with it this morning. It's so hard, and I do not know how to break it.

Ok, so identify the cycle exactly, and then we can look at how to break it...

I restrict at one meal or when I am hungry, and it is very hard to do. The next time that food comes up, or I am offered something to eat -- I am terrified, and I mean TERRIFIED to eat anything. I am very indecisive and this usually leads to more restriction and regret about not properly enjoying food.

Original Post by annie342:

I restrict at one meal or when I am hungry, and it is very hard to do. The next time that food comes up, or I am offered something to eat -- I am terrified, and I mean TERRIFIED to eat anything. I am very indecisive and this usually leads to more restriction and regret about not properly enjoying food.

I understand that terror, but one thing that helped me was to look at what is the worst thing that could happen if I eat the icecream/bun/whatever? Generally it is not worth feeling so complete paralysed with fear. If you are having to restrict to this extent to keep your current weight though, it is a sign that your body disagrees with you about what it's set point should be! Ask yourself if 120 is really that bad?

Thank you so much for the advice, mrswilsonscat, and I really appreciate it. I don't know, in my mind, yes, 120 was actually really really really bad. I did not look good at that weight, and I have no intention of ever getting there again. I just want to find a balance -- where I am not either starving or eating big "cheat" meals.