Health & Support
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The title says it all. I really just can't stop. It's not that I'm hungry, bored, or what have you... I just am constantly, intensly craving food. All the foods that I haven't allowed myself to eat in the six years that I've had an ED. Which there's nothing wrong with, except for the fact that I'm binging on these foods in excessive amounts.

I remember posting on here a few months ago, thinking I binged by eatind 2300 calories FOR  THE DAY. Haha. That's not even one of my binges now. On a routine, almost daily basis, I'm eating 7000 calories. I am literally addicted to food. I shake when I get the cravings, mmy mouth starts to water, and my mind can focus on nothing BUT the food I'm going to eat.

And when I eat... it's this high. It feels like heaven and nothing else matters. I get so excited when I'm in the checkout line or pulling through the drive threw, it's almost like a rush of adrenaline. And then when the food is in my hands, everything else is off the table.

But then comes the aftermath... I've gained 15 lbs. from a HEALTHY weight in a month. I'm 10 lbs. away from being overweight. I have to buy all new clothes because none of my bottoms fit any longer. I sleep too much because eating all this food makes me so tired. My bank account is empty because I've spent all my money on food.

This is pathetic, but this is what my life has turned into. Everyone just keeps telling me that this is a phase and that it'll stop. But when? How? I feel so helpless to food, so powerless. And extremely depressed because of what's happened to my body. I can't keep living like this. But nothing that I do to try and stop works. I always end up with my hand back in the cookie jar...

Please HELP if you have any expirience or insight with binge eating. It's so bad that I'm actually considering going back into residential treatment at this point. Which I don't know how my family could manage, since we have no money left after my first residential stay.

Thank you for reading.

15 Replies (last)

I don't really have any experience with binge eating at all but I know from my anorexia that any type of eating disorer comes from some type of underlying issue.  Maybe incense you are done with your other eating disorder you are trying to fill the space left with a new one.  Like I said I really don't have any knowlege of binging but my guess is that you have some type of left over issue that probably contributed to your first eating disorder and is what is causing the new one to stop.  I would definatly at least go see someone outpatient for a few sessions just to see if you can find out and deal with whatever it is that is causing you to still turn to Ed.  I wish you the best of luck and I would reccomend trying to maybe follow a meal plan again if you feel you can do it!  This might not be overly helpful to you but I just hate to hear about how much Ed is controlling all of our lives in one way or another and I feel more motivated in my recovery knowing that I am supporting other people who are dealing with food issues!  I wish you the best of luck and I hope that you can overcome Ed again as you've already done it once! 

I'm happy to see someone recognize food as an addiction but sad that you are having such a hard time. Everyone I know who acts like food and eating habits are black and white are convinced that eating habits are purely a choice. That is not the case but some sessions with a counselor may assist you in overcoming this. My only advice is to not beat yourself up over it. Food is an addiction like no others. It's not like smoking where you can quit cold turkey. You can't just quit food. It's a necessity for survival. I have had my experiences with eating disorders, binge eating being one of them and it's no easy feat. My thoughts and well wishes are with you.

I am sorry you are having such a hard time. Have you been restricting before these binges at all? Restricting will just set you up to repeat the cycle again. You have to forgive yourself and then return to your normal meal plan, no restricting. And as was posted before me look at the reasons behind your actions. You havn't been a year recovered from anorexia yet, don't beat yourself up you need time to adjust to a non restrictive life style.

i am the same as you :/

i cant help binging !!!

i dont have healthy food anymore just choc and cakes so i am gaining weight and not moving so dont burn it off as it makes me full and tired !!

I'm afraid I have some bad news, you still have an ED: Bulimia. Often times people think of bulimia as just throwing up food - but that's an additional side effect of binging. The binge eating is what characterizes bulimia.

I think that you are still dealing with the exact same issues the only difference is that its manifested itself in a new way for you.

I would really recommend going to talk to a therapist - I know it has really helped me as I used to have a lot of eating issues in the past (eating too much and then in subsequent days denying myself - it was a very sad time).

Your body doesn't need 7000 calories a day so your body isn't craving it, it's all mental. Maybe try portioning out a "normal meal" and then go for a long hour walk (away from restaurants) and try to listen to your body and have some peaceful out of the house alone time and a physical break from being in front of food?

Please feel free to message me if you ever need some more support. I'm happy to try and help. :)

go for a long hour walk (away from restaurants) and try to listen to your body and have some peaceful out of the house alone time

ABU87- why you encoraging her to exercise when she is underweight :/ i dont think this is sensible do you, she should go and sit and watch tv in another room not go walking thats burning calories so isnt sensible is it ?

sorry i dont mean to sound harsh :/

julz are u at home atm :)

Original Post by tessgani26:

go for a long hour walk (away from restaurants) and try to listen to your body and have some peaceful out of the house alone time

ABU87- why you encoraging her to exercise when she is underweight :/ i dont think this is sensible do you, she should go and sit and watch tv in another room not go walking thats burning calories so isnt sensible is it ?

sorry i dont mean to sound harsh :/

julz are u at home atm :)

But then comes the aftermath... I've gained 15 lbs. from a HEALTHY weight in a month. I'm 10 lbs. away from being overweight.

It seems like she is not underweight right now. So I think that walking or finding a distraction is a good idea. In recovery, I gained all my weight back through bingeing (eating about the same calories as you actually), and I found that focusing on other things, a healthy amount of exercise, and a having a plan to stop helped me. You can't quit bingeing cold turkey, that would make it like a binge-restrict cycle, but you can keep it in check by trying the decrease the amount of food day by day, or even week by week. If you eat one type of food everyday, get rid of it, and so forth. Your body doesn't need 7000cals to maintain (evident by weight gain), so try to find a good center.

I have recently been dealing with binge eating so I understand. I have not gained weight from it (yet) and it has been going on for 4-5 months now. 7000 calories is A LOT of food...I don't think I have managed 7000 yet. But, the other day I took in 5000 and was so stuffed I could hardly walk and I thought my stomach was going to explode. I really think you should try and eat normally, perhaps 2500 calories per day so you don't feel deprived...and do not try to lose any weight (firstly, you don't need to and secondly it will trigger more binging) I suppose your body wants to catch up after everything it missed out on due to your ED.

I would see a doctor and/or nutritionist, perhaps they could give you a meal plan that is satisfying and will help with the binging. Perhaps, when you feel a binge coming on, brush your teeth or... quickly go outside and take a walk and think "why am I doing this?" be strict with yourself.  Anything to distract yourself from thinking about food, ect... also, do you have your period? Because if not then it is probably your body NEEDING to gain weight.

Good luck xx

Sorry your right she is maintaining so could walk for relie but what should I do as I'm in recovery at bmi 15 and have been let off college for summer to sit at home and rest so no walking/exercising which I'm suprisedabout as in ip u can go for walks at bmi 15 :/ what can I do to relieve my binges !!!

I have already gone over my meal planned calories by at least 1500-2000 calories and feel stuffed a sick as it was all junky sugary foods, you no cake choc and ice cream etc... I don't no why I did it is was stupid I wasn't hungry as had eaten plan up to lunch wrap and crisps well this was my snack which turns extra large !!!

I no I should be happy as it equals weight gain but I'm not as I feel **** :/ shouldn't be doing it, tommorOW I WILL TRY STICK TO THE PLAN

I THINK TODAY I HAVE HAD ABOUT 4000 CALORIES IF YOU LOOKJ ON WEIGHT GAIN :/ OHH NOO !!!

I AM SORRY IF THIS IS TRIGGERING BUT IM INTRIGED WOULD YOU PM ME AN EXAMPLE OF ONE OF YOUR BINGES BECAUSE IM ASTONDED 7000 OR 10000 OR WE IT WAS :P

I WAS [PUT ON BEDREST AND MADE TO NOT GO COLLEGE UNTIL SUMMER AND TO REST AT HOME TODAY :'(

Original Post by tessgani26:I AM SORRY IF THIS IS TRIGGERING BUT IM INTRIGED WOULD YOU PM ME AN EXAMPLE OF ONE OF YOUR BINGES BECAUSE IM ASTONDED 7000 OR 10000 OR WE IT WAS :P

I WAS [PUT ON BEDREST AND MADE TO NOT GO COLLEGE UNTIL SUMMER AND TO REST AT HOME TODAY :'(

 Hey, I really think you should stop asking people to post their binges. You've asked this of people on the weight-gainer thread and I really don't think you are going to get a response, and it's pretty potentially damaging to the people you're asking.

I have been having the exact same problems.  I have gained 15lbs in 8 months and am rather disgusted with myself.  My binges aren't necessarily as high as yours, but they are pretty bad.  I have gotten myself on a pretty bad binge/restrict cycle that I am no where near proud of.  I actually binged not to long ago on duo cheez its!  I understand why I did though.   I mean i haven't been eating much for the last three days.

As far as the food obsession goes i'm addicted to junk foods and everytime I eat them I kind of segregate myself away from people and pig them down like i will never have them again.  I don't like to eat sweets or other unealthy stuff in front of people since my family and friends see me as some health nut....

Anywho!!  I hope things get better for you!!

Original Post by emmaleet:

Original Post by tessgani26:I AM SORRY IF THIS IS TRIGGERING BUT IM INTRIGED WOULD YOU PM ME AN EXAMPLE OF ONE OF YOUR BINGES BECAUSE IM ASTONDED 7000 OR 10000 OR WE IT WAS :P

I WAS [PUT ON BEDREST AND MADE TO NOT GO COLLEGE UNTIL SUMMER AND TO REST AT HOME TODAY :'(

 Hey, I really think you should stop asking people to post their binges. You've asked this of people on the weight-gainer thread and I really don't think you are going to get a response, and it's pretty potentially damaging to the people you're asking.

Ditto. Comparing yourself just feeds the ED, and I find it a bit disrespectful to Julz.

And please, avoid typing all in caps, it seems like you're shouting and it makes it hard/annoying to read.

I binged too in private and it looked so odd because everyone sees me as the athletic individual.  Original Post by milkychuu:

I have been having the exact same problems.  I have gained 15lbs in 8 months and am rather disgusted with myself.  My binges aren't necessarily as high as yours, but they are pretty bad.  I have gotten myself on a pretty bad binge/restrict cycle that I am no where near proud of.  I actually binged not to long ago on duo cheez its!  I understand why I did though.   I mean i haven't been eating much for the last three days.

As far as the food obsession goes i'm addicted to junk foods and everytime I eat them I kind of segregate myself away from people and pig them down like i will never have them again.  I don't like to eat sweets or other unealthy stuff in front of people since my family and friends see me as some health nut....

Anywho!!  I hope things get better for you!!

 

i no i said it may sorry vanilla swirl and emmaleet :/ yes i just want to no to compare myself as im just starting and to reassure myself its normal as i feel such a freak not trying to be rude or hurtful at all :D i weont again and i cant help it i think its an ED thing that i compare !!

same milkychu i binge on my own hiding from family as im embaressed :(

 

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