How did you challenge your ED today?

Thought we could all post something... I used to always shout at my mum 'i AM trying! i'm EATING SOMETHING.' But i now realise that wasn't trying, that was just eating enough to lose weight. So i thought it might be nice for us all to post one or two things we did today to challenge ourselves in our road to recovery.

i shall go first :)

today i challenged my ED by increasing my AM snack by 100 calories, having a raw food bar instead of oat cakes and apple.

I got to over 1,300 calories before i have even had dinner today! And i ate a granola bar and a dried fruits, nuts and seed mix which are both fear foods!

amanzyo - Awesome work!  Chicken in salad is so much more delicious than just plain veggies, imo.  And hey, a little chicken is no 'indulgence', it's a supergood healthy source of protein!  So eat that up and enjoy! (:

florence96 - So happy for you-- conquering fear foods is never easy, but TWO in one day?  That's really sticking it to the old ED! (:  Keep on showin' it who's boss!

As for me, this evening my mom made some (unmeant) triggering comments regarding the size of her dinner.  Normally I would have gotten incredibly upset and, though I did get a tiny bit dejected and didn't feel much like eating after, I still made myself eat my whole dinner!

I love that there's something new here almost every day :) today I conquered a fear food; instant, packaged meals... it was one of those instant bistro rice packs, and it was pretty good, salt and calorie content be damned!!

Today I woke up starving so I decided I wanted a big diner breakfast (my fave! or used to be before ED).  I had my mom take me out to a local joint.  Even though she only ordered a short stack of plain pancakes (and only finished half before complaining that she was overstuffed), I got exactly what I wanted: two fried eggs, a pork sausage link, two slices of buttered wheat toast with jam, and two HUGE buttermilk pancakes slathered in butter and covered in syrup.

And I ate every single last bite. (:

I went out to dinner last night and ordered Swordfish, fries and crab cakes an ate all of it! After that i had peanut butter cup ice cream. This morning, i had three big and fluffy chocolate chip pancakes and maple syrup and some WHOLE eggs. I also plan on having my lunch, snack and dinner and desert!

xolilash14xo - That sounds so, SO delicious!  I /love/ swordfish!  And of course as you all know I'm a huge fan of breakfast foods haha. (:  Congratulations on such a fantastic accomplishment, this is truly a wonderful step!

Today I'm cooking a big italian dinner for me and my family. (:  Feels good to be finally cooking 'normal' recipes again, rather than the drek you find on fat-free and dieting websites!

EDIT: I'm so proud of myself... I was starting to restrict today (I still do this sometimes in anticipation of a larger meal) and had only eaten 1/4 cup (dry) oatmeal for breakfast and a hummus sandwich for lunch.  Around 1:00 I was literally STARVING.  So I ate a Larabar.  Still hungry.  Then I ate a Kind bar.  Still hungry.  Then I ate a chocolate chip Clif bar (fear food, no less!) and finally was satiated. 

I must remember to never restrict again, even if I'm going to be eating a bit more heavily in the eveningtime.  I'm just proud that I was able to listen to my hunger instead of ignoring it like I normally might. (: (:

Last night, I challenged not only my eating disorder, but my sister's eating disorder as well!! it took me a while, but I went through the fridge, pantry, and all 5 cupboards, and I blacked out EVERY nutritional label with a permanent marker!!! And, not only did I do that, but during it I got a little hungry and I just grabbed a granola bar instead of waiting for my planned snack, AND I had the snack later (:

today, I had gingerbread cookies without knowing the calorie content AND I had pasta for the first time in months!!! :D

123 - I'm so so proud of you! (:  Everything you're doing is another huge step closer to recovery.  Blacking out the nutrition labels is a great idea-- who cares about that?  Only ridiculous ED, that's who!

I'm trying to get over a hurdle currently -- I've gotten to the weight point I'm at now several times during my various (previously feeble) attempts at recovery and for some reason this particular weight is always my stopping point.  I am NOT going to let that happen this time!  I'm going to push through it and eat even more these next few days to ensure a gain at my next weigh-in! >:)

REACHED MY GOAL WEIGHT! :D :D :D

My mom says I finally am starting to look like myself again. :')

woohoo frazzattack!!!!!!!! I bet you feel more like yourself too :) tackled Kraft Dinner today.... whoa. I can't even speak.

I do, I really do. (:

Kraft Dinner is AWESOME! :D  Are you speechless from the sheer cheesy deliciousness??

Made pizza and calzones from scratch today and i even ate it! The best part is, i didn't even care about the calorie count!!

.... I also had more ice cream for desert:) I love ice cream<3

I had a big bowl of ravioli with meat pasta sauce, a cheese roll and an extremely calorie dense ice cream all in one sitting :D Normally the bread and pasta together terrifies me, but I felt strong and pushed aside my irrational fears!

Zardo38- Now i am craving ravioli with meat sauce and cheese rolls!!! Great job on overcoming your fears, pasta is one of my fear foods and i refuse to eat it other than at dinner:/. 

 

And you all know how i feel about ice cream :)

xolilash14xo & zardo38 - Wonderful to hear, so proud of both of you!  Ice cream is fantastic haha I'm using Ben & Jerry's every night as a delicious way to meet my calorie goal. (:

Today I hit another bit of a hiccup as I wasn't able to get myself to get chinese food with the rest of my family (huge, HUGE fear food), but at least now I know that this is what I need to work on next!  Both the eating of the chinese food AND the being able to "go with the flow" and not stick to my set plan of what I'm having for dinner.

i went to my appts with my team and was completely honest with them.  i gave them my diet pills. and kept my exercise to a reasonable time limit today. plus i actually ate 3 meals today! im kinda feeling like a rockstar right now!!! :)

.

Well I haven't today but yesterday I had a HUGE sandwich and I only purged once in 24 hours which is a miracle.. I hope I keep it up.. I'm trying to recover and it's hard at the moment.

• Yesterday I had an extra snack (homemade lemon poppy seed muffin, which I made with full amounts of butter and sugar per the recipe)
• Today I had a rough morning and was tempted to restrict, but instead I grabbed another muffin and made a high-calorie shake for breakfast.