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out of control rapidly gaining weight depressed :( help


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for goodness sakes!! im so angry at myself! i have been bingeing all week and it is terrible. every day i wake up and tell myself i will stop and then i go and do it again. today it is 11am and ive already clocked up about 2000 calories.. bearing in mind my maintenence is 1600 this is AWFUL. im SO FED UP i dont know what to do. ive put on about 8lbs this week alone!! i dont even think much of it is water weight considering ive probably been eating 4000-5000 cals  day. clothes that fitted me last weekend dont fit me this weekend. how terrible is that?? im so disgusted at myself but im completely out of control. please someone help me :( i really really dont know what to do, i just want to stop this disgusting behaviour :( whats wrong with me..??:(

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Don't panic.  It probably is a lot of water weight.  You need to eat 3500 cals extra to what you burn up in order to gain a 1lb of fat.  So even eating 4000-5000 cals a day you probably haven't done too much damage.

Make a fresh start....  What is it that you're eating when you overeat?  (I'm guessing it isn't carrots and celery!)  Is the house full of biscuits and ice-cream?  Are you sending out for junk food?  Eating out?   Baking lavish cakes?   Whatever it is that you're eating, work out a way to remove it from your environment.  Shred the takeaway menu, put the biscuits and ice-cream in a rubbish bag... whatever it takes to clear the decks.

Then work out what you'd like to eat instead... Healthy breakfast cereals, fresh fruit and vegetables, nice meat and fish, some wholegrains on the side, yoghurts....  Things that need some preparation and cooking, preferably.  And then go and get them.  If, when you next want to overeat, all you can choose from is apples, celery or a chicken breast that's going to take 15 minutes to cook... you can't do too much damage.

Healthy, wholesome food is naturally more filling and satisfying so you will feel happier with less.  Good nutrition is a mood-enhancer.  A poor diet is a depressant.  Starving leads to overeating so don't starve.   Eat regularly, drink plenty of fluids to get rid of the water retention, don't skimp or skip meals, don't count the calories, and, in just a few days you'll probably lose 5 or 6 of those 8lbs.

Fresh start... practical measures... you can do it.
I almost cried when i read this post :( I've been doing the exact same thing!
Though my binging doesn't start until about 2-4pm... then it continues right on until i give up and go to bed.

It gets to the point where it seems it would be easier just to burn all the food in the house and lock myself in my room.

:( I'm so sorry you're going through this too!!
I hope you can find the strength to stop

Take care,
C.
What is it that you start eating in the afternoon? 
anything!
Usually bread, since i dont let myself eat it a lot otherwise.
A sandwich will leave me feeling unsatisfied for the amount of calories it is, so i usually opt for other foods come meal times.
So, i'd probably stand in the kitchen and down 4 slices of bread, half an avocado, bit of marmite, couple of tablespoons of peanut butter, tablespoon of butter... all in about 5 minutes... then do it all over again half an hour or so later! if i can wait even that long.
It's all high fat, high carb (usually salty rather then sweet) food.
... I eat peanut butter plain from the jar.
I even eat avocado plain now.
At least avocado is a healthy fat, but still a high cal food!
Then if i run out of bread or i get bored or something, i might have an apple perhaps, or some other fruit if there is any.
But i wont stop then, i'll continue on to have more sandwiches or i'll eat some cereal if i have any rice milk.
Or i'll do what i did tonight and crumble up any cake or museli-barish things in a bowl with some milk and eat it like that.
... Turns out my sugar free oat bars (honey instead of sugar) taste way better when eaten with milk!
 Is there something else you could be doing in the afternoons?  A job, for example?  And why don't you allow yourself bread?  Often, the foods we ban suddenly become 100 x more attractive. 

I can sympathise with the peanut butter and avocado.  They are rather more-ish, I agree, and it's easy to nibble your way through more than you intended.  Could you simply not buy them (and the sugary muesli bars) any more?  Are you responsible for the shopping?  That's what I have to do with particular foods.... leave them in the supermarket where they can do no harm.   Have you tried keeping bread in the freezer?  If it's out of sight and needs defrosting before you can eat it, the combination of the two acts as a deterrent.

And what do you typically have for breakfast and lunch?  Could you make them both more substantial perhaps?  If you're at home bored all day and you make a big pan of chunky vegetable & bean soup you can fill up at lunchtime and then help yourself  to bowls all afternoon.... Hot food is much more filling than cold sandwiches and cereals, and if you make soup yourself with lots of vegetables it's relatively low calorie for a big volume.
I would LOVE to be in control of the shopping...
I wouldn't buy any bread or any of my binge foods.
However i'm only 17 so i'm still living at home.
I don't work and i don't study so... my days are just usually spent at home, unless i bus into town to go to the gym and socialise and stuff (haven't done that all week, boredom and loneliness sure increases binging desire).

I can't eat bread at the moment because i simply can't stop with one slice.
Plus it's too unsatisfying and it leaves me hungry.
For breakfast i have porridge (half a cup of dry oats) with cinnamon, raisins and honey or sugar.
Sometimes banana also if we have any.
Lunch is then some form of protein.
Lentils, beans or an omelet, then with a side of vegetables or salad.

Yesterday i tried eating small meals every 90 minutes, hoping that if i was eating frequently i wouldn't feel hungry and it would also be a shorter time to focus on.
It went great!
And i tried doing it again today but it just didn't work.
I was out, so i wasn't able to make the usual steamed carrot and broccoli to snack on.
I took carrot strips and some cooked broccoli to go with lunch, but it still didn't help.
Though, that was purely self control issues rather then a binge.
Still, not being able to control myself then put me into binge mode and i gorged on food once i got home!

It is really easy to eat to forget how bored or lonely you are.  My best advice to both you who have been posting in this thread with this issue is to do other things to not only make you happier, but fill your time so that you are not just sitting around miserable.  A job, paid or volunteer is a great way to fill the time.  I used to volunteer answering a domestic violence crisis hotline.

Another way to avoid the boredom eating is so make yourself a really strict daily routine.  Plan out your whole day in advance and make a list of tasks you need to accomplish.  You can even schedule in time for things like naps or favorite television programs.  There was one point where I wasn't working or in school and I did this and was able to lose about 25 pounds in 2 months.  

Example Schedule:

8 am - wake up, drink water and coffee

9 am - breakfast, feed dog, water

10 am - take dog for 30 minute walk

10:30 am - noon - watch weight loss programs and eat lunch, water

1 pm - hour long work out at gym, water

3 pm - shower

3:30 - 5:30 - relax, tv, internet, reading

6 pm - cook dinner, feed dog

So you see, even though I wasn't really doing much of ANYTHING, because I was able to stick to the schedule, I constantly had a task to do instead of just endlessly eating.  If you can schedule in more activities or a job out of the house, this works even better!

Mmm true...
I live in the country, so i can't get out as much as i want.
I do catch a bus into town (town=hamilton which is a small city really... i bus there from my very small town) sometimes but it costs $11 each time with all the buses i have to catch to visit people.
So i only do it about once a week.

I have been trying to play pc games or working out to distract me.
... Worked yesterday.
You should really find something to do with your time rather than blaming yourself for lack of self-control.   'The devil makes work for idle hands' is a very true statement.   If you can't get a permanent job for whatever reason then try volunteering at a local school.  They always need people to sit with the children and read, for example.  There are some very lonely people in hospital and old people's homes that need visitors.  Or find a leisure centre and take a swim or join a class.....

And have a word with whoever it is does the shopping.  (Mum?)  Ask her not to buy peanut butter and avocados etc.  Explain how bored you are with sitting around at home all day and see if your family have any suggestions.  Can they give you a lift into town when they go to work in the morning?  Find you a job at their workplace?    I'm sure you can find solutions if you engage everyone's help rather than trying to go it alone.
I'm not good with people.
The pools in the near by town are closed as it is winter (plus they are building onto it to make it enclosed) and there isn't much else to offer.
My mum is a stay at home mum, "Dad" isn't in my life anymore.
I'm the oldest person at home and my older sisters all live either in hamtilon or auckland (auckland is about an hour north of me) so i cant just ask to work with them.
... My mum wants me to study this year.
But frankly, the anxiety that i get from thinking about that only makes me want to binge more!

... I'm kind of reclusive lol.
If you're not good with people or you're shy then the only way to overcome it is to get out there and face your fears.... You really won't know what you're capable of until you challenge yourself and give it a try.  If the idea of studying makes you anxious then getting a job sounds like a good plan. 

But do something positive to change your life.  Talk to your mother.  Get hold of the local newspaper and apply for a few jobs.  Or book an appointment with your doctor and tell them how you feel.  Anything is better than being trapped at home, grazing the kitchen and feeling like things are beyond your control.  
Yeah... Frankly, i would really like a dull part time job.
Preferably one with minimal interaction with others lol.
But i'm still really worried that if i get a job, i will then only have to quit a couple of days later because of anxiety.
I guess it's the common fear of failing that keeps me from doing it.
Wow, sorry.... we totally stole your thread Bugsylover :S

haha dont worry restless, i was thrilled to come back and see that there were 13 replies. ive read through and found some helpful hints anyway. im sorry to hear that you are going through the same thing. i wish i could offer you some advice but obviously i dont know any better than you, so youre welcome to "steal" this thread as much as you like if it helps you too!! :) form what i gather you have anxiety problems and cant go out much? do you have any hobbies that you could distract yourself with while you are in the house? reading, music, going for walks, exercise videos!!  

gi-jane you have a lot of good advice. im in college doing a levels at the moment but i only have to go on 2 days a week. i cant do much to keep busy because i have chronic fatigue syndrome so i have limited activity levels. i have asked my mum who controls the shopping if she could stop buying such a huge variety of cereal bars because i am quite good at grazing on them until i burst. peanut butter is an issue because my dad eats it so i cant ask for it to not be in the house. ive stuck a label on it though, saying "NOT TODAY" hopefully everytime i go to eat it i will remember how i felt this morning. 

damsell your idea is a good one. i think planning my day will make me feel a bit more controlled. i always write "to do" lists because i get stressed if things arent organised anyway but never really 'schedule' my day, i'll give it a go tomorrow. 

thank you for all the replies so far

 

i am in the exact same position.  haven't been able to stop binging at all.  i have a job, but it's only 2 days a week since i have classes everyday, but even with a job and an intern, sometimes they bring junk food in and it's tempting. I used to be able to ignore it and just go on, but i find it so difficult to not think about it.  It just won't let go.

I can certainly relate to bugsylover, restless girl, and helpless.  I struggle myself with almost having intense emotions attached with eating.  When I was younger I used to hear of this and think it was silly, but now I really understand how I emotionally feel relates to how I eat, or looking for fulfillment or satisfaction in food.  I'm trying to gradually change by thought process - like not always relying on food to be full and to falsely think that I am hungry all of the time; I agree that it is really tough.  Sometimes I'll think of people in other countries who don't have as much food, or about in history when they did not have the abundant amount of food that we have available to us.  Wow, it's tough.  The out of sight, out of mind is certainly fitting for me, so I try not to have a lot of food around the kitchen or I know I'll be tempted.  I really appreciate gi-jane's positive.  Many similar encouragements on this web site have helped me immensely - to see that others have struggled similarly, some at higher weights that me, and have lost a lot of weight.  So I suppose there is some hope for all of us in our health goals.

#17  
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Well, let me tell you that I have been binge-ing all week as well... first of all because I was staying in a hotel for 3 days, with food all included, so I could eat all I liked... and it seemed such a waste to not do so!

Then I also went to a dinner dance yesterday, and just because I knew that would be a bad day because of all the yummy, unhealthy food there would be, I didn't care what I ate during the rest of the day. And today I just completely gave up because that's what I have been doing all week...

BUT

I SHALL START OVER TOMORROW!

Hopefully it lasts...

i binged last night too and am 5 lbs heavier today. i live in Calgary, Alberta Canada and it's been snowstorming for three days:( i think the world is comming to an end-ha ha.

lets all start fresh today....we can do it!!!

I like the scheduling idea. I have an afternoon/evening problem. I eat and I am not hungry, I just eat. I get home from work and that is it. I do have things to do, perhaps if I schedule them instead of just winging it. When I am at my son's track meets (they last for hours) I am fine all afternoon/evening. I bring an apple and a granola bar or such to hold me over until a late dinner. Bring healthy snack for him and his buds for after (I drive them home)

I have thought of not eating all day because no matter what I have such a hard time at night. But I know that is not good for me so I keep on starting on a good try in the a.m.

Well....Good luck to all.

From my experiences i have come to realize weight gain and depression sometiomes go hand in hand.  I read somewhere that they are doing research on metabolism and depression. 

I too have suffered these same battles.  One day i will over eat and then be too "tired" for a walk then I go days and hardly eat anything.  Usuall you go one way or the other, you either gain it or lose it when depressed.  How about I would love to just be normal.......LOL

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