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Don't Know What To Do!!!!


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I am 70 lbs, 13 years old and  5'2. As you can conclude, I am anorexic. My parents are forcing me to gain weight now even though I really don't want to. My dad is having me drink 3 ensures a day (which I HATE!!). This is my story so far. Now on to my problem.

I feel as if I am losing my strong will of being able to stop myself from eating. I have been craving bad junk foods like toaster struedals, pop-tarts, lean pockets and ice cream so badly lately. I just can't let myself have it because I can't trust that I can control myself. I have splurged a few other times and I hate it. I feel as if I can't control myself. I just don't know what to do! I don't even really want to gain weight. I am just tired of everything. I want to be normal, and have normal thoughts about food, but that doesn't seem possible. I also want to gain weight eating healthy, but I have this big fear of eating fats. That and my parents are control freaks and I have to worry about what they want me to eat all the time. Hopefully I will be able to get off this nasty ensure. :(

Edited Dec 08 2011 11:47 by coach_k
Reason: please read stickied "before you start a thread" thread --http://caloriecount.about.com/forums/weight-gain/all-weight-gain-forum-members-please... moved to health and support
5 Replies (last)

It's not a 'strong will' that stops you from eating, quite the opposite. Giving in to the disorder is the easy way out. If you really want to be normal, and be able to do all the normal things a girl your age does like go to parties and the movies and out to dinner and enjoy yourself, you need to gain weight. Heck, if you want to live you need to gain weight - your BMI is 12.8 and you are genuinely at risk of dying.

I am the opposite... I am overweight not a lot though but let me tell you something you are allowed to eat fats lol i do it all the time I just have to make sure the proportions are right but I know I am not giving up the food I love. Hang in there.

Pepsters, your parents aren't control freaks. Actually, you're the control freak even if you can't see it. . Your parents just want to save your life. 

You're on the brinks of death whether you like to admit it or not. People on the brinks of death must be forced to do whatever is needed to bring them back to health and for you, it is drinking 3 Ensures a day. In the future when you are recovered and healthy I promise that you will be beyond grateful that your parents did this for you. 

The reason you're craving "junk food" is because you're lacking in FAT and CALORIES. If you aren't comfortable with eating hot pockets and ice cream, reach for full fat yogurt and nuts. They're VERY healthy!!!

I know how you feel like splurging is failing and losing control, but realize that you are GAINING control. ED was controlling you when you thought that you had so much willpower. Every time you sat with your hands on your lap, watching people eat cupcakes, knowing that you "couldn't" eat them, you were NOT in control. A disease was in control. You were a puppet to ED. Every time you splurge, every time you eat a "bad" food, you are breaking a string and becoming a free person instead of a marionette. Embrace the splurges. Take pride in eating fear foods and breaking free of this thing!

#4  
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Please stop this! I'm 18 and the same height as you but gained from 70 to 80 pounds. And I'm still stuck n trying. Ur parents love u n want u to live. I know now you r angry with them. I am with mine too. But u can die any minute - really, ur heart can just stop. Please fix this! Eat! Don't do what I did. I stated Ed at 13 and STILL deal with it. It sucks. Please please change it. Now. U want to live a good Ed free life.
Original Post by sungiant:

Pepsters, your parents aren't control freaks. Actually, you're the control freak even if you can't see it. . Your parents just want to save your life. 

You're on the brinks of death whether you like to admit it or not. People on the brinks of death must be forced to do whatever is needed to bring them back to health and for you, it is drinking 3 Ensures a day. In the future when you are recovered and healthy I promise that you will be beyond grateful that your parents did this for you. 

THIS!!^^

70 lbs is deathly thin - you say you fear losing control, but the truth is, you lost all control ages ago, to anorexia. Your eating disorder is calling all the shots here, not you!!

Time to REGAIN control, and have your life back! All strehgth to your parents - they are doing the best thing they can to help you. 'Giving in' to cravings is actually part of YOU taking control and regaining your health!! It IS possible to 'be normal' and have 'normal thoughts about food', but not while that devil anorexia is in charge of you. Be strong, eat the food, drink the Ensures, and kick this illness out of your life!!

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