ED Recovery Club II (the REAL one)

OK on acount of how the first "ED Recovery Club" was not helping most of us, I have decided to start a new one... The rules are simple: this is for advice and help only! Absolutely NO complaining about:

"oh no, I ate over 100 calories today!"

"I weigh 56lbs soaking wet, I am so fat!"

"I tried to binge/purge 3 jars of peanut butter!"

NO NO NO!!

This is for people who actually WANT to recover. All you are doing when you post these comments is hindering your recovery progress and the progress of others.

Lets focus on how to regain a healthy body and mind, whether you suffer from anorexia, bulemia, BED, bigorexia, orthorexia or any other ED-NOS.. we are here to help

Please girls (and guys), we all have the potential to be happy and beautiful, don't let food control and ruin your life.

I look forward to hearing back from everyone.

Take care. x0x

subwaybusker 5'4 is still a little too tall to weigh 100-105lbs, maybe 105-110lbs would be better. But yeah if you are not eating enough then you will lose muscle because your body needs energy to burn fat, its complicated and I am not an expert but that is what I have been told... also do not worry too much about the number on the scale, muscle weighs more then fat, someone who is 110lbs and muscular can actually look thinner then someone who is 100lbs and mainly fat... but regardless trying to reach an unhealthy weight in an unhealthy manner is not what this thread is for. Recovery is the goal here, and it sounds like you may be relasping, correct me if I am wrong. :)

 

carmenxox hehe trust me Im fully aware that I havent been eating that much to gain a pound just yet, but last time I actually weighed myself, when i decided to increase from 300 to 600 I did gain a pound :) it was only one pound but I did gain it..what I mean with gaining it is water weight and such mainly. I was trying to say that, my body is not going into shock with the slow progress im doing which is a good thing, because water weight kinda makes you feel heavier than what you are, not like a real pound would feel...I know I wont weigh myself anymore, that was just a little urge I got but I think its completely normal to worry a little during recovery...i mean you're still pretty much in the process of getting used to eating and such, and gaining weight...but I wont weigh myself until next monday...when I get to 1,200 Imma stay there a few days and see how my body reacts...if I still am maintaining I am going to increase my intake without a worry in the world cos what I want is to come out of starvation mode and get my metabolism to normal again....oh but I have been keeping a healthy mind towards this entire process! hehe not sure if you read the other entries right, but I wrote the last few ones with a really positive outlook on all this and wrote a lot of times how excited I was with my recovery and how badly I wanted to just get to that healthy goal....I even said I would eat candy haha I also said the same thing about food..about not seeing it as the enemy but the fuel that keeps your motor running....maybe you didnt read that entry, but Im extra sure I wrote one just like that ;)

and dont worry! being insecure about food at this point is totally normal...as long as you dont go back to your old habbits and keep yourself under control you wont have anything else to fear...its all about keeping in mind that you're healthy again..that you're slowly getting even better...either think of that or think about the "Thin" HBO documentary you recommended...I took the time yesterday to see it...I was completely horrified...I Was so happy I Was getting out of it by my own...that I didnt prefer to die to be skinny....I rather live, have a few pounds on me, but LIVE....dying is for losers....skinny is not beautiful...having a healthy body is :)

 

and yeah I Agree with you about subwaybusker I also got that vibe from what she had to say...hopefully we're wrong hehe

keep up the amazing work guys!

awh bananee I love reading your posts, they are always so cheery haha... and yes I have been reading some of your last ones and it sounds like you ARE doing great and enjoying it. So congrats, I am very proud of you, and I'm so glad that you joined this thread not only for your benefit but because you always have good things to say and it makes me feel so much better... haha so keep it up :)

Those few pounds that you may or may not gain (depending on your body) will be so undetectible, so again don't overthink it. I right now am trying not to focus on the number but on how I feel and look... and so should you. Like I bet that you feel so much better/happier now then you did before right? Because now you actually have the energy to do the things that you want to do, and stop worrying about calories and enjoy life.

My downfall is the obsessive compulsive behaviors, everyday i need to eat at least my 1200+cal, and of those 50g must be protein, 25g fibre, 5+veg/fruit... I don't know why, but I just have the idea in my head that those 3 needs must be met, its stupid lol. But I am trying new things and eating things that used to be forbidden (in moderation that is)... Its just that I cant be all "today I am going to eat all of my calories in (XX) foods" because I feel deprived if those "needs" are not met.. anyone else like this?

aw haha thanks..I dunno I just feel like part of this process that we're all going through here, the whole recovery thing I mean, is mostly mental, its all about keeping a certain focus on a goal that you have to give a lot of value to, because not only are you gonna beat this illness, but you're also gonna live a much fuller life, with much more oportunities, not to mention a chance at a future filled with even more oportunities and not to mention health and happiness. I dont think any in the world is more important than a person's future and their happiness and ofcourse, their LIFE. Set goals, etc...you know what I mean. Having an eating disoder, keeps you from doing those things that you used to love...like bringing the girls over one night, and pigging out, you know... even if it is for just that one night...you are not gonna gain 10 pounds from that night of just having fun...you can keep a healthy life style ofcourse you can...but restricting yourself from little things like a brownie or an ice cream cone with your favorite flavors...is just gonna make you miserable!....have it once in a while...even if that means once a month...have it! enjoy it to the fullest and just be happy....make food something that is not as important as to worry about it so much... have a bunch of candy once a month, and ice cream and share gossips and laughs, those type of things that makes us NORMAL. We are young, and that is a GIFT...and once we get old we are gonna regret having so many conflicts and being so unhappy because we didnt look like the olsen twins or, because we didnt look as skinny as those models on TV did...

like I said...being beautiful is not being boney...being beautiful is all about having a healthy body, having a wonderful self-esteem and letting that show..even if you dont have that six pack...you are still as beautiful as any celebrity... plus you are not sick, you are not dying...thats whats matters.

haha I got seriously carried away...I just learned so much over these past few days about this sickness, about how it affects so many girls our age...that it makes me see life in a whole new way...and it really makes me happy when I can help someone out, and open their eyes a bit at what can be being happy for real.

dont you think?

and about what you say with the protein haha I was actually getting like that also..I wanna eat more protein and stuff like that...buts thats also obsessing about something so be careful with that ;)

I'm like 5'8 117 lbs.... is that too thin? bc I don't feel like it is, but I'm used to seeing my body...

and It's wierd because other girls on here seem to be struggling with eating more, but I feel like I'm eating everything in the whole kitchen but I don't gain any weight...

 

renastar: thanks for the advice! I'll try that today... though everyday I say I'm going to stop spitting up but then I end up doing it at least 10 times a day.... i'll have to keep working on that one 

I'm like 5'8 117 lbs.... is that too thin? bc I don't feel like it is, but I'm used to seeing my body...

and It's wierd because other girls on here seem to be struggling with eating more, but I feel like I'm eating everything in the whole kitchen but I don't gain any weight...

 

renastar: thanks for the advice! I'll try that today... though everyday I say I'm going to stop spitting up but then I end up doing it at least 10 times a day.... i'll have to keep working on that one 

I was very lucky to stop my anorexia and move on actually quite quickly and well a/b 5 years ago. I'm 19 now and and while I'm still quite thin, I know I went from a 0 to 2 at 5'7. Now...I know when I had anorexia I did NOT want people telling me I looked better at a healtheir weight b/c GASP, that meant fatter right? But you know what...I KNOW I look so healthy b/c I have better nutrition, and most importantly nourishment for my body and brain to do things that make me love life! I'm by no means bragging, but at a family function a couple weeks ago, so many people came up to me telling me I was glowing and commenting on my skin, my hair. I saw photos of me and you know what? I thought I looked DAMN fine! lol I think after battling the ED and seeing that HOLY SHIZ the therapists were right, that my life WAS so much better and back to normal...that I went in the completely opposite direction and started eating like a health maniac and my friends make fun of me now for that! (and I mean ACTUALLY eating for health and fun...not "healthy" as in lettuce and diet coke:P) I think after going through that horrible state and seeing what such a basic thing like stupid food did for me, I wanted to do everything in my will to keep life this great. And now I have the healthiest skin and hair I've ever had! haha but it is still NOT a/b how you look, at least to me...we are all going to get through this b/c I KNOW everyone wants to feelnormal...and as much as it sucks to realize...YOU are the only one who can defeat this. The people who love you will always support you but you need to make the change-it's scary maybe at first...but stay strong, trust in your family and friends and most importantly, trust and BE GOOD to yourself. To this day my mom and I have this photo of me she took of when I was hospitlized...you can't see my devastated body and 88 (cringe) lbs of bone...just my face. I still get out that photograph sometimes and show my friends...wierd perhaps??? I dont know...but it is certainly not thinspiration...it is a motivation to make sure every time I hear my friends talking a/b the next fad diet or I see a magaznie on the most skeletal celebrity, I remind myself of how "happy" I was looking like that. I think we all know that recovery doesn't happen....it keeps going. Every day. I do everything I can to be honest a/b my story and how recovery was and IS possible. I hope for everyone here!!!

I havent posted in a while, but tonight i was STRESSED OUT and i went to dairy queen and bought a medium cookie dough blizzard.. i feel TERRIBLE, seeing as i havent had one in about 2 or 3 years! as i was reading from some earlier posts, i too am a restrict and binge eater.. and also excersise obessed! but because its late and running is out of the question.. i just need some motivation to get on to the nxt day. I AM VERY bloated..which is the worst feeling in the world!

does anyone else get the pregnant stomach after eating? and does anyone know how long the bloating could last? its driving me insanne.. that after every meal im still getting bloated:S... i dont understand why..

just needed to rant a bit! sorry guys

enia28- don't stress too much! Tomorrow is another day! And I have had a bit of restricting/binging tendencies, which are really awful and really hard to get out of! Pretty much, they suck.  I've gotten really bloated as well- after eating loooots (and I mean lots- I can eat a TON of vegetables) of broccoli or cabbage I can look pretty preggers.  It can also be caused by a lot of carbonated soda- diet or non.  Could that be it?  Or lots of fiber? That is healthy but also has bloating tendencies. 

Try not to worry about it. Letting it pass is part of recovery. I ge the pregnant belly after I eat also, except not just after treats! It shouldn't take too long for the bloating to go down. Drink some water and continue moving forward.

today is that "final" day of my recovery...1,200 calories is the goal for today hehe

I feel a bit out of it though...its weird but I do feel like Ive gained like 10 pounds and I know I havent...but I feel heavier/look heavier....I dont know if its just water weight or what....but all I know is that I got a big upset today looking at the mirror....I need inspiration today on this because, for the first time during recovery Im a bit on the low side...but dont get me wrong, I am gonna keep that 1,200 goal for today and the days to come...I  just want the belly go away :'(

 

 

bananee don't worry, it is probably mostly just in YOUR head. I bet no one else has even noticed. Keep up the good work, you are making very good progress.

But that is all I can say right now because I have a midterm that I need to study for today lol and I am running out of time ..*stupid distracting website!*

bananee- you can do it!! Keep at it, you've been doing really well.  and also, it's sooo true that you're the only one who will notice any difference.  Plus, it's very likely that any difference is anywhere near as pronounced as you think it is, if one even does exist at all outside your head.  I hope that made some sense. 

If you want any more recipe ideas I would be glad to supply them! You can do it!

carmenxox & justme17 thanks a lot for cheering me on :) I feel better already...all i really have to keep in mind is that I have to do it if I Wanna be healthy again..right?

justme17 you can tell me all the recipies you want! jajaa Id be more than glad to know of more stuff I can do! Ive been craving those pizza a lot lately actualy hahaha so I bet Ill have soon very soon :P

so bring on the ideas!

Yay bananee! Yesss you can do it, keep the goal of health in mind and stay strong!

Ok, new recipe idea! It's like a breakfast for dinner kind of thing!  Mmmm.  Here's the idea (there are sooo many variations that I'm not going to specify too much, just give more general ideas): get a pancake mix, whole wheat if you want, prepare the mix, and add into the batter your favorite toppings: berries, sliced bananas, sliced peaches, sliced strawberries, dried cranberries or cherries, walnuts, almonds, or pecans (good protein!), cinnamon, shredded coconut (healthy fats), and/or chocolate chips (for that sweet tooth we both share!).  Mmmmm.  Then serve yourself the pancakes hot drizzled with some maple syrup (go with the real thing!).  To make it a full balanced meal, add some fresh fruit on the top and heat up a healthy turkey sausage or two(which, may I add, are also amaaazzzzing with maple syrup).  Voila! You've got yourself a delicious and healthy meal that you can tweak to your heart's content!

i just watched the "thin" HBO documentary. thanks for recommending it, it really is an eye-opener. there's a lot of thinking to be done.

Hey everyone!  Wow, lots of new members.  Hehe : D

I'm sorry I don't drop in as often as I used to, but I've been busy with school.  Just wanted to wish everyone the best with their recovery.  I know you guys can do it!!  You are worth it more than you know.

I am currently doing pretty well with strangling my anorexia.  I went from 87 to 104 in a couple months (2 lbs a week! eek!) but I can feel how much stronger my body is now.  I also stopped wearing sweaters when it's 80 degrees outside!  My doc is really happy about my progress and says I can maintain.  That confuses me, because to healthy people 104 is still pretty bad for 5'8'', but I have always been really thin for my age/height so maybe I just have a different body type.  Anyway, I've been eating everything from sandwiches to green tea ice cream!  I still have to force myself to eat a lot of the time, but I might be beginning to accept that it's worth it, because I can focus a lot better on school on a happy stomach.

I am struggling with binging and purging though, which is really not good.  My anorexia is trying to fight against the eating and this is how it turns out.  It's wasting my time and money but I'm trying so hard.  If I can gain weight without going IP then I can fight this b/p cycle.  I can, can't I?

Keep fighting!  Don't ever give up, there is always hope!  Oh, and justme - I am going to try your recipes!  I'm getting into cooking now lol!!!

<3 LOTS of love <3

aimengzi--sounds like you're on your way! As scary as this may sound, you HAVE to trust your body. It's smarter than we think---I was always thin too...but b/c you develop an ED you don't really know where your body was going to end up---I didn't understand how my nutritionist wanted me to keep gaining after I got back to my original weight b/f the ED! (well, I was no longer a child but becoming a woman in high school) I never let my body grow as it should have. I know bingeing sucks, esp if it's a secretive kind which is NOT healthy for your mind especially but...I promise you, the bingeing is happening for a reason. I HATED hearing this but It WILL subside. Your body knows it's been deprived for so long! Now..i am NOT saying to binge, but I am saying if it happens just know, the hunger becomes normal..maybe not today or this week, but it DOES. I know the last thing I ever wanted to hear from a nutritionist was the idea of a "set point"...and now 5 years recovered later I can't tell you my weight b/c I don't keep a scale, but I can tell you for the first time in my life I know what REAL hunger and good cravings are, and my body has never looked better. Whenever my friends talk a/b a new fad diet or weight I just tune it out, b/c I know how much better my life is not focusing on it. Sure, I'm a slim girl, but instead of being the thinnest I want to be healthiest, and that means body AND mind....and with that I am going to finish my cookie:)

You guys rock my sox

aimengzi- I too have struggled with binging, in a kind of secretive way, but never any purging.  I agree with katergater that it's my body's way of trying for all the undereating and also trying to compensate when I mess up and restrict myself.  Also, just because your doc said you CAN maintain doesn't mean you have to, and I would suggest that you let your weight rise to whatever number is most comfortable and allows you to eat a healthy amount.  Also, it's a must that you get your period at whatever weight you choose to maintain. 

I love this thread!! Yaay! Off to go get some more chocolate covered almonds...mmm.

soooooooooooo

yesterday I had some bag full of CANDY hahahhahaha

i felt awful afterwards but I kept trying to remind myself that its ok to do this once in a while...just not obsessing about it every week....I dont think Imma gain a pound from eating candy one day right? lol Im still a bit in shock cos Im not sure If I was mentaly prepared to have that many candy hehe but its ok...I think it was sugarless candy anyway lol so its alright i guess

what you guys think?

im still on 1,200 (im not sure if i had 1,200 or more yesterday lol i bet i did went over the 1,200 but its ok cos today im back on track)

tomorrow Ill weight myself in (YIKES) so Ill let you guys know how that went ;)