Hair loss.. and finally facing up to ED
Er, hi. I hate to do this since it seems so rude to expect support and advice from people when I haven't been active on the forums at all (but I am a massive lurker!) so I apologise.
But.. I really need to just get all this out. it might be a bit long, so bear with me!
First: I'm ashamed to admit this but I have been using this website for the wrong reasons. I used the food diary and BMI counters to help me restrict my intake to damaging levels and record my weight loss. I'm sure I'm not the only one who lurks here with unhealthy intentions, and I really really urge anyone doing that to COME FORWARD and get help before it gets worse.
Me: I've been struggling with disordered eating for about a year and a half. I wouldn't say it's anything near as serious as anorexia, but it would swing between cycles of binging-fasting-restricting-binging etc. Then from about April as I was finishing up my first term at uni, I started severely restricting/eating two days a week and dropped to 105lbs (I'm 5'7")
when i came home from uni about 2 and a half months ago, however, I found myself surrounded by all this 'bad' food and slowly slipped into binge-eating again. After about a few weeks of eating at least 2000 calories a day (sometimes as much as 5000) My weight shot up to 122lbs and I decided to try and eat healthy. This is where I am now; I've cut down on binges and am eating a lot more fruit and veg instead.
My problem: My hair has started seriously coming out. I find it really upsetting to see great chunks of it come loose in my hands just from running my fingers through it, let alone showering, ugh. It's been months since my lowest weight and I'm menstruating fine and everything (though I never truly lost it), so i really don't understand what's causing it. If anyone has any advice on how to prevent hairloss or any products or supplements that work well, I'd be so grateful!
Also... i can't quite seem to kick the disordered thinking (surprise).. Sure, I'm eating healthy foods now but I'm still not eating enough. I just can't can't can't bring myself to eat much more than 1000 calories; I feel like I could slip so easily into a massive binge. I have 2 portions of fruit, some celery and then dinner that my family eats together in the evening. It's usually around 1000 altogether. I'm currently 119lbs and would like to maintain at 114; I feel that this was a comfortable weight for me (I'm genetically disposed to be 'underweight' anyway)
ok i'm done.. oh wow, how epic, I'm sorry! Thanks for reading this far!
on the hair loss, i can tell you for a fact that the condition of your hair reflects your health 3 months earlier, so if you were restricting 3 months ago, theres your reason!! but, on the plus side if you continue to eat healthily then it wil stop an eventually thicken up again :)
but, this may not happen if you carry on restricting, which even though you are eating more than previously, you are still doing now! you need to eat at least 1200 and probably more! if you gain weight on small amounts, have a read of the 'uping cals to loose' thread because there are many positive stories of people in similar situations :D
hope this helped you
xx
I'm not going to try and give advice because I have no insight into EDs...BUT I'm so glad that you are on the right track.
As for the hair, I have found that taking vitamins (along with eating decently) does wonders for your skin, nails and hair. I take a pre-natal multi because they have about twice the iron and a few other things that really help with hair, but if you're worried about mum/friends asking questions about why you're taking pre-natal vitamins, just take 2 regular women's multis and it should make a difference. Also the B vitamins in it help fight against depression, so if you're feeling blue about the whole thing, vitamin B really helps your mood, another plus!
Somewhere deep inside of me, cliché haha, I knew I had an eating disorder, because you don't normally do this to yourself, but I never admitted I had a problem, nor thought it posed any negative consequences, until I started losing my hair. Clumps came out when I touched my hair; this devastated me. After adding essential nutrients into my diet my hair stopped falling out.
Good job on trying to leave behind your unhealthy habits! I hate to preach when you are trying so hard, but 1000 calories will not be enough to repair the damage done. You may be genetically disposed to be underweight, but your body's undergone a number of painful changes. Let your body settle at a weight, than concern yourself with maintenance. Don't worry, be patient, because it will take time. Keep up the good work, and good for you coming forward. Now that is one of the hardest obstacles.
Thank you all so much, I'm less panicky now :)
charlieuk thanks for the welcome and advice! I wasn't aware that there's a 3-month lag between health and hair, i thought it was only 1 month for some reason so i was super-confused. Thanks :) that explains one hell of a lot.
thermal that's really helpful, i have NO idea about vitamins but i will definitely try taking pre-natals. my family probably won't notice anyway, lol. i'm slightly worried that because i'm not actually pregnant the high dosages could be OTT?
geedawg that's all so familiar :) i convinced myself that what i was doing was fine and all the scare stories you hear? well of course that wouldn't happen to me... >_> i suppose it's good in a way that this is happening, to shock me out of this 'i'm invincible' mindset.. i have to treat my body better. it's motivating to hear that you've been through this and recovered. how long was it before your hair was healthy again?
Unfortunately, I'm not completely recovered, but have made great steps forward. I've gone from purging three times daily, to twice in the last two months. I didn't notice the physical aspects during the worst of times, kind of shows you how warped your vision can become. I see pictures, and I was pale, dark eyes, I looked a little deathly, but thought I looked fine, haha. I've been working on recovery for almost six months, only doing REALLY well within the last two, and I am starting to see the differences. The best difference for me, is that I'm happier. Enjoying myself, actually going out because my mind isn't preoccupied with purging...I hope that you can achieve happiness and healthy.
