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I hate my body.


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I've been struggling with myself for almost 3 years now.  In 8th grade I randomly started losing TONS of weight and started eating much less.  I was down to 110 pounds.  Now I've gained weight back and I'm somewhere around 125 (I just turned 16 by the way).  Food and exercise haunt me and it's all I think about.  I go to a nutritionist and have a personal trainer, but weight just doesn't seem to be coming off.  Does anyone have any easy tips for getting rid of a belly, love handles, and touching thighs?  Any food or exercise advise would be great.
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You posted your age (16) and your weight (125), but not your height. 125 does not seem like a lot to me, of course it depends on your height.

First of all, at 16, you should really focus on moving more, and do not restrict calorie intake. Sure, if you have bad eating habits (lots of junk), you should make better choices - but don't diet.

However, getting rid of "love handles" and "touching thighs" is the easiest thing at 16 - through exercise! Your metabolism is at its peak now, so take advantage of it. Do cardio and toning, like walking, running, jumping rope, bike, etc. etc.
I'm somewhere between 5'3" an 5'4".

I know that I'm not "overweight" but I FEEL like I am and can't look at myself.  I do know that I have a couple problem areas though.
Weight can swing 5-10bls in a month due to things like your period.  So you may need to cut yourself some slack.  Water weight (5-10lbs) can be added to your body via your period, sodas, foods heavy in salt, and not driking enough water.  When you don't drink enough water or get too much salt your body is fooled into thinking your are dehydrated so it goes into conservation mode and retained water.  Believe it or not, driking lots of water convinces the body to flush out the water it's holding.  So switch juices, sodas (even diet) to water.

But honestly I don't think you need to worry about 15 lbs.  What you do need to be worried about is all the worry you have over it and the self loathing (I hate my body).  I sense a much deeper issue here with insecurity that does not have much to do with weight and more to do with self worth.  I know because I had it at your age too and I did not address it and it got out of control.  I did not appreciate the beautiful young woman I was.  I only saw the imperfections.  Eventally I became what I saw.  You need to see the beautiful you and focus on that.  You are what you focus on.  Focus on the good stuff.  Go get the book The Secret and read it.  You will learn that if you focus on the beautiful things in life then they grow.  If you focus on the ugly things...then they grow.

Sorry for the sermon but I understand your pain and based on my experience I think I know where it stems from.  Focus on your perfections, NOT your imperfections.
OK, so first of all this "hate-my-body" kind of thinking is very bad for you. Lots of girls have it at 16, sure.... I had it myself. But really, what do others say about you? Are there no compliments you can recall?

The mirror is a funny thing, it never shows you the way you are, it shows you the way you feel about yourself.

The problem areas are, alas, determined by our genes. For me, it is the hips and thighs area. It is genetically determined where weight goes first. And it is by moving a lot that you can keep those problem areas under control. If you start a good exercise regimen now, you will have much less trouble staying in shape later in life. So I would really encourage you to shape up by exercise, and don't eat less, only healthy. 

I think it is quite likely you have not finished growing yet - I'm 25 now, and 1-1.5 inches taller than I was at 16. So focus on calcium and protein and the rest of 'em, and move as much as you can.
I don't ever drink anything.  I guess that could be a problem.  When I work out, I usually don't even finish a bottle of Poland Spring.  Working out is also the only time I drink anything.  I just don't think I'm ever thirsty.

Do you think drinking more would result in weight loss?

I definitely do have more problems, and I know I should have been in therapy for a few years now, but I only started talking to my family about my problems recently.  Food takes over me completely, even though others tell me I'm eating healthy and that I look fine.

If anyone has any tips to help me lose weight by summer, please let me know!  I'm afraid to even by a bathing suit right now.
The picture is coming up, slowly.

Yes, water is important.

But my best tip for the situation would be: talk to somebody about your problems. Food is, as crazylady86 pointed it out, the way you are trying to suppress those problems. I think you could sort it out by facing them. But not on your own - get help. If you find it hard to talk to your family, turn to your doctor. Talk to a friend, a teacher, anybody - sometimes a relative stranger, like a doctor, can be easier to talk to openly and without worries.

As soon as you get help and handle your troubles as they should be, weight issues will sort themselves out. Trust me, it is true.
Ah.  Food.  The great councelor.  Yes, I'm familar with that.  It's comforting when you feeling down on your self.  That's the trap.  The perverbial "Hogandas on the couch therapy session".  You are self medicating your insecurities with FOOD.  Please nip this in the bud now.  You ARE BEAUTIFUL!  YOU ARE AWESOME!  You need a passion in your life that reminds you of how special you are.  Art, sports, writing, something that validates who you are.  If you have people around you that are putting you down then they need to leave right now.  They do NOT need to be in your world.  You need people around you who know how special you are and tell you.  Surrond yourself with peole who love you for yourself and remind you that you are great when you need reassurance.  It took me years to realize I had an inferiourity complex.  I felt I was less that those around me.  By the time I realized I was just as good if not a 10000 x better, it was too late.  The damage was done.  I had become what I most feared.  Again, you become what you focus on.

Yes, you need to drink more.....WATER!  I HATE WATER.  What I do love is putting a case of those small bottles in the fridge and getting them ice cold and then grabbing one when I'm on the way out the door.  I had to try a few varieties before I found one I liked.  I will even through one in the frezzer to toss in my backpack for later.  The body is funny though, the more water you drink the more you want.  Your body starts to crave it.  Same with exercise.
Franiqua, the secret to losing weight is to work WITH your body not AGAINST it. If you hate your body, it's going to hate you right back!!

I know it may sound silly, but hang around here long enough and you'll see that it is true. Those that punish their body with too few calories... gain weight. Those that try to control their bodies, end up being controlled by their bodies.

You need to strive to cultivate a healthy, loving, accepting relationship with your body, and it will love you back and start cooperating.

1) Eat what your body needs: and at 16, your caloric and nutritional requirements are higher than an adult's. Concentrate not on calorie counting, but on eating a wide range of healthy whole foods.

2) Exercise - in moderation: and find an activity you can do for the rest of your life that you absolutely love. Concentrate not on what your body looks like, but on what it can do. Are you unusually flexible? Strong? Graceful? Coordinated? Fast? Find your athletic gift -we all have one!

3) Eliminate poisonous images that deflate your self-esteem: turn off the t.v. Throw out all the fashion, celeb and glamour mags. Get rid of the scale. Get rid of your mirrors. If there's any "diet" you should be on, it's a media diet.

4) Put diet and exercise goals in balance: they are important, yes, but there's a lot more to life. Write yourself a list of 5 goals that have nothing to do with diet or exercise: perhaps you want to learn a new language? Cultivate a wider social circle? Travel? Participate in community service? Explore your spiritual side? Then obsess about meeting these goals instead. :-)
Thanks everyone. I am trying to drink more. I went to my nutritionist today and she told me to drink too. So I'm going to try.

My friends all know that I have these issues with food, exercise, and myself. Some of them aren't much help though because they're trying to convince me everything is fine. They just don't understand that I'm crawling in my skin. I'm afraid to go to the beach or wear shorts or anything this summer. I want to get a job so that I can hide from it all.

I have a short list of things I want to do. I want to sew more, create more artwork, read even more, stuff like that. But I don't know how I'll do it and still be able to exercise AND work. And hang out with friends and just have fun. :\
Franiqua,

"But I don't know how I'll do it and still be able to exercise AND work. And hang out with friends and just have fun."

I think we all feel the schedule pinch, regardless of age, although we have different stuff going on.  I??ve been out of school for a while, so I??m working full time (getting the occasional break to post here...), and maintaining family, relationships, and exercise in there somehow.  Even without the exercise, when I look at that, I realize it??s a heck of a schedule, and for a loooong time I used that as an excuse.  ??When the kids get to school age.....?  ??When the kids aren??t such picky eaters....? ??When the kids get to the age where they spend more time with friends....?.  The thing is, looking back, here and there, I always did have an extra 15-30 minutes on any given day to take a walk, stretch, etc., and there was no reason to sit on the couch watching TV when I could have still watched the same program while doing some squats or crunches.

The trick is to find a way to arrange your schedule, prioritize, multitask (when possible) and find the time for what you really want to do ?? in other words, time management.  It??s a lot easier for me now ?? I??ve had a lot of practice, and my hubby (the ultimate organizer) has been a good influence.  But it still took the realization of certain health consequences to really get me going on better eating and exercise. 

Scheduling would have been baffling for me at 16, and that was almost 20 years ago, so I bet it??s a bit different now and there??s a lot more stuff to deal with.  However, it is something that you can learn, and would probably go a long way in relieving some stress.  There are a lot of resources ?? on a quick search I found http://www.organizedteens.com , and a school counselor might be able to help you out as well.

I really hope you find a way to do it ?? eating healthy and being active are the best things to really make a change in your body.  So don??t hide ?? go to the beach, get some sun, fresh air, and get active ?? running around the beach is exercise too!
nour
Apr 18 2007 19:28
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#12  
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well i wuz just wonderin like for teens (i'm 15) if i do go on a like better diet, eat better nd stuff...like can i just rely on calorie counting coz it just seems 2 be the easiest, there are so many foods tht have like nutritional value but they hv 2 much fat, or 2 many calories tht i cant handle...btw how do u know how many calories ur supposed 2 eat coz i just got on this 2100 calorie diet and the thing is i feel like stuffed coz i eat 6 small meals nd i feel like i'm eating more than i used 2?? but i never checked how much i used 2 eat so im kinda stuck...plus i do some exercise (jogging on my treadmill) like one day 60 mins, the next 20-35, then one day 60 and etc..but i dunno if its reeally helping me raise my metabolism coz i wanna get my body to burn fat quickly...thing is i dont wanna do any anaerobic exercises coz i dont wanna end up looking like a muscular guy or something like tht...any advice wld b perfect...

i think i have a medium frame (im not sure wht tht means though :P)

i'm also 120 lbs, and 5'2"
Thanks for that organizedteens website, santonacci!  I'm gonna check it out.  But yeah, I'm really going to try to just have fun this summer.  I'm just worrying about not having time to go to the beach in the daytime, have fun sleep overs, hang out, and still work and stuff!  I hope I figure it out.

Nour, I'm pretty sure that a good way to burn fat is doing sprints on the treadmill.  Try jogging at a good speed and then every minute or so run really fast for 10-20 seconds.  Then go back to jogging, then sprint again, and so on.  If you belong to a gym, elipticals and the stairmaster are also good.  Try to do a lot of cardio.
#14  
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I have never been happy with my body,i am abit on the large side sometimes i lose weight and then on it comes again.My family are usually my worse critics especially has they are all nice and tall and they dont struggle with their height.I am alot shorter than my youngest sister she is 5'9 so she is nearly a foot taller.I used to hate my picture taken has it would go shorties one side and all my siters the other.On my side there were a couple of aunts and my nan .God bless her she wasn always great with me i struggled non stop with my height and she used to tell stories about her problems.Even she is abit under 5'0 but still has the edge on me.Whenever she sees me she gives me a gteat big cuddle and she was the one that called me her littleun first.So it stuck,my parents are 5'6/5'7 so i must have got my height from my nan and other nan too.
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