Is it true that people that recover on high calories, maintain at a higher calorie than regular people?
I feel like because I'm gaining on 1200 I'm still going to gain. I've been gaining on this amount for about 2 weeks now so it's freaking me out.
I want to recover but I also want to know if my metabolism is going to be fast and if I am truly going to be able to eat more than 2000 and maintain...
I feel like because I'm still gaining on 1200, I dont really have to up the calories since it hasn't plateaued yet...
You are gaining on 1200 because you were so under on your calories before -- if you don't up your intake you will not recover, regardless of whether you become weight restored. Bump up your calories to 2500-3000 -- get the water gain out of the way (you know it's going to happen whether you gain on 1200 or 2500), otherwise you will go through it every time you increase your calories.
I had a panic attack this morning before going to school because I felt like I ate so much and I couldn't stop crying. My mom said, "don't worry, that amount is what a normal person eats" but it just feels like I can't help but to feel overwhelmed.
I want to trust my body again but it just seems so out of reach to me..
If adding 100 calories per day is the best you can handle right now, then start there -- that's a tbsp of peanut butter, a handful of nuts, 1/3 cup of avocado, a glass of whole milk. You can do this. If you can 200-300 every 2-3 days (I know it sounds the same, it's not), that would be better still.
You really need to toss the scale and cut the sizes out of your clothes and start wearing the the larger things now -- you cannot avoid the water weight gain and bloating -- but it's not permanent. However, the longer you take to get up to 3000 the longer that bloating and water retention will hang around.