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My mom thinks I'm chubby now.. :( *rant* and might be triggering


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My mom came over for a cup of coffee today and a talk about how everything is going. (Also according to the ed-recovery stuff.) She never ever used to be saying things lie that, since she know how it affects me. And she is a great support to my recovery. she said that she is extremely proud of the hard work I've done so far. But that she has to be honest and say that the weight I'm at now, looks a bit chubby to me. BECAUSE its not my normalweight pre-ed. And if she can say anything like that at my current bmi of 23-24, it worries me a lot how I will look if I keep gaining more weight :( its sooo discouraging. I'm not angry at my mom since she is only saying her honest opinion, but it surely triggered my ed. I am going through the hardest phase of my life, and everything seems worse than it really is, cause I'm very woundable right now.

Someone who have recovered from an ed...: PLEASE encourage me to stay strong. Please tell me that everything is going to be okay. Please tell me that I wont keep gaining and gaining... and that I will eventually loose the extra weight gained. I need the re-assureance. I feel really down right now..

:(

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You do not look chubby in your current profile pic.  At all.  You look very fit and slender.  I'm so sorry you had to hear that from your mother.  I can't say I can give you advice from personal experience, since I haven't recovered from my ED myself.  BUT I highly doubt you'll keep gaining and gaining.  It may be that your current BMI is where your body is the most comfortable (which is NOT chubby!).  Or it could be that you'll naturally (without restricting) drop a few pounds back to your pre-ED weight.  Please don't let this triggering comment cause a relapse, you've made it so far!!

Thank you Adrienne <3

yeah, I keep saying the same things to myself... that I wont keep gaining and gaining. But I havent gotten my period back yet, and it worries me that I might have to gain a lot more before it comes.. I also stay in touch with hedgren (Gwyneth), who recently answered my mail concerning my ed-recovery. She says that its possible I will have to gain a bit more from now, since my menstrual cycle has not yet returned. she tells me a lot of encouraging things, that my weight will stabilize and that it will redistribute when it trusts me soon enough. and yet its sooo difficult for me to relax and trust the process. i'm afraid of the unknown and that I have damaged my body completely and unreversable. yet, those fears can also still be due to my ed voice.

I wont give up. I came so far, and i am determined to fight this! but its terribaly, frakingly hard. sh**.

I hope someday you also find the courage to chose recovery and overcome the ed for good, even though it is a horrible and difficult battle. ((hugs))

You don't look chubby AT ALL. And i feel bad for you that your mom made this comment, i understand that it's very triggering. I haven't recovered mentally but i want to show support.

It's probably because she is only used to your pre ed weight which might not have been ideal to begin with. I admire you very much because i know from posts before how much you struggled and i think you're awesome

Stay strong!

I'm not an expert on periods and can only speak from personal experience.  But I personally don't think you'll have to gain a lot more in order for yours to return.  Sometimes you just have to be patient, I think.  It can take time for your body to realize that it isn't starving anymore and can resume normal functions like menstruation. 

Original Post by _adrienne_:

I'm not an expert on periods and can only speak from personal experience.  But I personally don't think you'll have to gain a lot more in order for yours to return.  Sometimes you just have to be patient, I think.  It can take time for your body to realize that it isn't starving anymore and can resume normal functions like menstruation. 

yes this happened with me, it takes time, how long have you been weight restored? i heard it could take up to a year after weight restoration

I'm sorry your mom said that to you. Her perception is off because she's used to being around an eating disorder you, and not the recovery you. Typically, when we have a mental image of a person and that person deviates from it, it tends to look more striking than it actually is.

But.. WOW. I personally think you look great at your current BMI! I'm trying to see 'chubby' but I can't see 'chubby' at all. You could still gain some weight and I don't think that you would look chubby.
I've read Hedgren's posts as well.. And if I remember, you're recovering from quasi-recovery.. yes? She seems to think that some times, those recovering from quasi-recovery initially may overshoot their natural weight set point in order to get their periods back, but that this weight will decrease over a year's time naturally and without restriction.

It may be that you need to gain a bit more to get your period back, but it may also be that your body will naturally shed this extra weight once your period is restored.

Original Post by knoppie_:

Original Post by _adrienne_:

I'm not an expert on periods and can only speak from personal experience.  But I personally don't think you'll have to gain a lot more in order for yours to return.  Sometimes you just have to be patient, I think.  It can take time for your body to realize that it isn't starving anymore and can resume normal functions like menstruation. 

yes this happened with me, it takes time, how long have you been weight restored? i heard it could take up to a year after weight restoration

Are you asking me?  I'm actually not weight restored... I was last spring but then I relapsed back to my previous low weight :/  So... now I'm working on recovering again.  But in my history of relapses/recoveries, I've found that I generally regain my period at a BMI of 20-21 but that sometimes it takes a couple months of being at this weight before it happens.

Hello!  I thought I should look at your most recent picture before I comment.  Actually, you look thin, I don't see ANY body fat at all.  So, you're definitely not chubby, not even close!!  I'm happy that your mom is supportive, and I don't have alot of knowledge about ED, so I hope you're seeking professional advice.

As a mom myself, I love and care deeply for my children.  protecting our children is so important.  So, although I don't know why she made that comment, I can say that sometimes people do or say things to sabotage others.  Could be for a number of reasons.  What's important is that you don't react to this and that you stay focused on getting to a healthy weight.

You look absolutely beautiful...keep up the good work!!

 

 

First of all, what really matters is that you're determined to take recovery all the way through this time. I've been following your previous posts, and I know you are. That's truly an inspiration for so many of us, especially seeing as you've had to start real recovery from a so-called healthy weight.

So even if you were 'chubby' that really wouldn't matter.

That aside, your most recent prophile pic looks perfect. You are blessed with extremely good looks in the first place, and that's something which really starts to show at your current weight. If anything, you'd probably look even better gaining a few kgs... That's just my opinion, anyway - but as I said, the important thing is that you have decided that you are ready to get what you really deserve which is proper recovery - not just for your body, but also for your mind.

Keep staying strong (plz - for all of us!). The way you're doing, things WILL be OK!

Don't even start to worry about it. You look good, and now you're eating well, too. And that is an honest opinion, not just someone trying to cheer you up. LaughingKeep up the good work; I know it is hard.

A month ago, I posted something so so similar to this one! I feel angered by your mothers words. I'm sorry. Because when I see your newest pictures, I think you look so beautiful and not chubby AT ALL. She shouldn't have said that, really.

You're so so so beautiful!

Thank you SO MUCH everyone for your lovely, honest, encouraging and sweet words! You girls are awesome, and such a great support. <3 xoxo And dont worry. I came so far now I will not go back. never again. 

I only need to work with my bodyimage. And perhaps to tone my body, once it is in a healty enough condition to do so.

Something else.. I am just so happy today.. my period is BACK after 2 years of not having it! I am sooo released!!!!

 

Congratulations! Laughing

Congratulations!!!

sarahdenmark, you look absolutely lovely in your profile picture!

Thanks so much! you are all so sweet <3

I still cant believe my mom called me chubby.. Perhaps its because she had been used to always seeing me so skinny.. or it can be, that since I finally had my period back, I was retaining water. And waterweight DOES take up mass, and can make ppl look bigger. The funny thing is, that after I had my period, it feels like my body is shedding some of the water by itself, while I'm still eating the same ammount. And latly my mom told me that I dont look so puffy in my face anymore.. :)

I think it could be that because i noticed that the first time i got my period again i was crazy bloated and retaining water all over, i could feel it

yes, i think it is that. Since you also experienced something like that the first time you got your period back, it is very likely this is what happens to me as well. I still dont want to weigh myself yet, as I could be retaining water still.

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