Okay, I know I've questioned my hunger a lot.. But I have to wonder if whether or not this is normal. I've been weight restored for awhile now, and have been trying to maintain. My weight was creeping up at a really slow rate (like 1 lb a month) eating 2500 or so. Then last month, I lost my appetite.. like I could barely get past 1500 or so. I did end up losing a bit of weight, but that was honestly all I felt like eating. If I ate any more than that, I felt uncomfortably full..and any less, I felt tired, irritable, etc. Now I'm feeling hungry again. So is it normal to have ups and downs like that? Cuz my eating had everyone freaked, but I tell them I was just listening to my body. Anyone have any explanations?
Stop questioning yourself:-) Really.
In June, my appetite took a dive. I thought it was related to my new position and being outside of the home. When I stopped clinicals and before I started my job, my appetite came back. I was thinking "uh oh!" but my activity changed and my priorities changed. I'm working again and my appetite is still up there, meaning that what happened in June was a glitch. One MUST continue to eat well and take care of themselves regardless.
Look, remember what we've done to ourselves. Remember that our bodies, whereas they are amazing, are not PERFECT machines. We have fluctuations that are normal, but at the end of the day, people like us might be a wee hypersensitive to a dip in appetite. We might use it to an unhealthy degree. My husband has days where he is hungry a lot, days where he isn't as hungry, and never having been eating disordered, that's okay for him. But for us, having a 1500 calorie day one day might lead us to a.) repeat it, regardless of our hunger, b.) eat even less as we tend to compete with low numbers or c.) feel like a failure for not continuously eating that way. Be consistent with yourself making sure to get 2,000 calories at least every day.
It's not a perfect process, this healing. Just trust yourself and don't focus on the weight for a while. You have to focus on the HEALING that your body and metabolism have to do.
Bethany- Nice to hear from you! :) The only difference with me is that there's been virtually no change in activity. It's been pretty consistent. That's what has me sooo confused. Those points you bring up are true.. I try and not pay attention to it, but the more I try not to, the more I end up thinking about it in the end lol. I'll admit, when my hunger levels do dip and then rise again, I feel reluctant to give into the hunger for fear that my already slower than average metabolism will cause me to gain uncontrollably. Most of the time, I don't base anything on weight, but more on how my clothes fit. I've already shown to myself that I can be at a low weight but have tight clothes or be at a higher weight and have my clothes fit loosely. I keep on thinking that my metabolism will eventually heal itself and become like everyone elses.. Is this just wishful thinking? Surely after being in recovery for THIS long, the metabolism must be running how it should..right?