questions for recovered anorexics...

Hey, so ive got a couple questions... Im anorexia, i go through phases of half hearted recovery every now and again but never stick to it, always relapse... I have no support system. My family ignore my eating habits, as does my boyfriend 90% of the time, the other 10%, hes insensitive and acts like he knows what im going through and that im just doing it to myself but hello, i didnt ask for lifelong issues with food! I cant even eat around people anymore and its been like this for a long time now... how on earth do you break that habit?

Also what was the moment you decided ' I'm going to recover ' and why did you decide this? Another question, if you get help from the doctors, how did you do it? I mean do you go to the doctors and say your anorexic or...?

Would appreciate it so much if i got a couple responses :)

Thanks xxx

hi there :) 

Eating with people was my biggest challenge. I'd wait til everyone would go to be to eat. Or I'd pick at food and as we were cleaning off the table I'd purposely offer to put things away so I could stuff some in my mouth. Or I'd sneak out to the garage to get some food from the freezer or fridge. I'd pick at the little food on my plate so that even though I had the least amount of food I'd be the last one finished eating so I wouldn't have to be done first and watch everyone else eat. Yeah, getting over this took months, I will not lie. But I did it in steps. First I learned how to eat comfortable in front of just my mom and dad. Then my brother. Then my other brother. And I just kept adding. So now I'm completely fine eating with a bunch of people. And though there are times where I get anxious again, I remind myself that if I watch them eat and just wait if I'm hungry, I'll most likely end up going back to stuffing myself which could potentially lead to binging. So then I just grin and bear it. Taking the plunge is hard, but jumping down one step by one is a lot easier. I'd suggest start with one person at a time to eat with. And start small food wise too. Like sit at the table and just have a salad or a granola bar. Work up to it. It does take awhile, but it's worth it when a holiday comes around and you can actually enjoy it with food and others :)

My moment to recover wasn't really my moment. I mean I'd wanted to recover long before I was made to. I was doing research online and found some sites on eating disorders and realized o my gosh I have that.... And I freaked out and lost my period and was getting scared but I couldn't stop. And finally the big moment was after high school graduation when my mom broke down in tears because she was scared for my life, but she didn't cry in front of me she waited til she was away from me and I heard her anyway and I felt so bad I was causing her so much pain. And she'd yell at me that I was gonna kill myself sometimes and she just wanted me to eat. But it didn't hit til she broke down in tears. And I only got help from doctors cuz my mother took me. My best friend had actually gone to my high school guidance counselor and told her I was sick, so my counselor called home and said I needed to see a doctor. And my mom told me that and said that if I didn't straighten up, I'd go to the doctor's, but I told her I thought I needed to go anyway. I never came out and said I was anorexic, but my doctor went over all the symptoms with me and diagnosed me with it at the end of that first appointment. Seeing it written on paper was also a big hit in the stomach. 

I'm sorry about your family not being supportive :( That is the hardest, I cannot even imagine. Any friends you can confide in? I could not have survived this without mine. Find someone, even if it is just one, to go through this process with you. It helps so much. They can even go to the doctor with you. And you don't have to come out and say you have an eating disorder to the doctor. Just tell him your symptoms and he'll put two and two together. Again good luck, I wish you all the best in recovery! You can do this!!!!

Hi! So I am still also trying to 'recover' from anorexia, and I understand how hard it is and how addicting it can be not to eat. I ended up losing about 15 pounds from not eating in a very short period of time. Yet it really started impacting my health to the point where I had acid reflux problems every day because not eating eventually can destroy the lining of your stomach. I also started feeling really tired and weak, and even irritable because I wasn't getting enough food. Then I started eating too much junk food and one day I just woke up and said I had to stop. 

My sister noticed my eating habits were getting out of control and she's the only person I confided in. I am still contemplating seeing a counselor or a doctor, but as of now, I have been eating 1200+ calories a day, though it took me a week and a half on calorie count to be able to get there. I'm trying to push for 1400 calories a day and I have to say that my sister's support has been really great, as has the support on CC. 

Here's my advice to you. Take it one day at a time. I know this might sound a little crazy, but this is what ended up working for me. Treat your eating disorder like a drug addict treats a drug addiction. When I decided to start losing weight the healthy way and I struggled at first, a friend (who had a drug problem in the past) told me to take it one day at a time. Don't think about tomorrow or next week. Every day you wake up, say to yourself, I'm going to eat today. And honestly, I found that I don't mind eating if I also exercise because then I know my body is still burning a lot of calories. Today I am sore and exhausted so I know that tomorrow the only type of exercise I'll be able to do is light walking and stretching. But if your friends and family aren't supporting you, you do need to find someone to help you. 

Anorexia is often more about needing to feel control in your life. It's not just about not eating. It's about feeling as if you have no control in your life and people choose not to eat because then they feel as if they have control over something. Now, by logging my foods and being really careful about getting the right amount of calories and nutrients as well as making it a point to exercise, I have that control again. It's as much as psychological disorder as an eating disorder. I am lucky to have support in my life where I don't need to see a doctor, but I'm not kidding myself either. If I start to find myself slipping into those habits again, then you can bet I will be seeing a doctor and I will likely start therapy as well. 

It's a really hard switch. It becomes a lifestyle change and it is still so hard for me sometimes when I'm busy to make sure I sit down and eat a meal. But I promise you, that you can do it. It's good you're reaching out to people on CC. And seriously, the only way I'm doing this is by taking it one day at a time. I still have weight I want to lose because I'm still 'mildly overweight.' So I haven't had a severe encounter with anorexia. But I set small goals and every day I just try really hard to eat enough. I'm not always successful, but it's okay if it takes you awhile. 

But you can do this! Trust me. Find a support group or a counselor or someone you really trust to help you. Keep a food log and try to write down how you feel after you eat. Don't feel badly after eating either. It's necessary to survive, but you'll be able to slowly shift your habits from not eating to eating. Stay positive and please find support! 

Stay on Calorie Count! There are so many really great people on here who are supportive. I'm sure you can do it! Believe in yourself. Trust me, I know how hard it is. I still struggle every single day, but I'm only focusing on a day at a time. And it's working, so stay positive! And please feel free to message me any time if you find yourself really struggling!