what is going on i seem to be out of control

i've just binged and purged for the first time so violently... i feel like i wanna die ... i feel a mess, out of control and like nothings worth this anymore.... i was anorexic... and now i am just a mess. i cancelled my modelling job and asked them never to contact me again but i am devastated i ate so much even though i purged it its in there somewhgere and i want it out of me

If this is your first time throwing up, it also needs to be your last. The pain and anxiety are overwhelming and it will drive you crazy.

Modeling is a dangerous trigger for your ED. I as well used to model and as a result I was always thinking about my body. Finally I had to take a break and decide maybe I would come back to it when I was at a better place with myself.

Get help and don't wait. Talk to someone you trust. Good luck.

Did you know that vomiting doesn't actually rid you of all the calories you consumed? Your body still absorbs a substantial amount of them.

Anyway it's not healthy, nor does it work. So just get on a healthy diet, exercise, and get on the road to recovery and self-worth.