Slipping back into old ED habits?!
I don't really know what I expect you guys to say, because I've sorta just rambled on, and my therapist is the only person that seems genuinely concerned whereas my family/friends seem to think I look GOOD. It's hard to bring myself into better eating habits when everyone else thinks I look okay. :( What's your opinion? Do you get people saying you look good really thin when you feel as though they should be worried?
No, I have never had people say I look really good super thin. It was the opposite. When I lost weight everyone expressed concern and said I did not look well. Just because your friends and family don't think you look bad doesn't mean you're healthy. Sometimes when weight loss/weight gain is gradual, people tend not to notice. For example, I just gained 10 lbs. back and no one can tell. People have noted that I look "healthier" but that's all.
You need to do what's best for you body which is to eat a sufficient amount of calories and keep the weight on regardless of what anyone else says.
Hello. I myself am struggling with the very same. I have been in this dark place for about 4-5 months now and I weigh the same as you (94 lbs). My family comments on how skinny I look, some people tell me I do not look healthy.. well, that is because I am not! Not mentally or physically. I have no strength or energy. I thought I would finally feel happy with myself if I were skinny.. but, now that I am, I am even more depressed. I usually eat 500 calories a day, at the most 900. Sometimes I binge and eat up to 1000 or more. I feel like a glutton for doing so, so I will starve myself the next day. I have become very obsessed with my body, to the point that I measure myself every day to make sure I haven't gained an inch anywhere.
My mother says I am so skinny and tiny and she wishes she looked like I did ( she has a belly and muffin top now). I wonder, would she still want to be as skinny as I am, but feel weak and tired all the time?
Original Post by foreverill:
Hello. I myself am struggling with the very same. I have been in this dark place for about 4-5 months now and I weigh the same as you (94 lbs). My family comments on how skinny I look, some people tell me I do not look healthy.. well, that is because I am not! Not mentally or physically. I have no strength or energy. I thought I would finally feel happy with myself if I were skinny.. but, now that I am, I am even more depressed. I usually eat 500 calories a day, at the most 900. Sometimes I binge and eat up to 1000 or more. I feel like a glutton for doing so, so I will starve myself the next day. I have become very obsessed with my body, to the point that I measure myself every day to make sure I haven't gained an inch anywhere.
My mother says I am so skinny and tiny and she wishes she looked like I did ( she has a belly and muffin top now). I wonder, would she still want to be as skinny as I am, but feel weak and tired all the time?
Please get help ASAP. This is no way to live. I repeat, no way to live. You are killing yourself. You need to be eating at least 800-1000 cals more than you are currently eating (on top of 900), more if you are active. I guess you haven't seen those articles on what happens to your body if you are in starvation mode for a certain period of time? Well, as a Biologist I can tell you that it is not pseudo science. The effects are very real and very scary. You are in total denial if you don't think you're harming yourself. Yes, I am sorry if I have scared you but the only way I got my ass out of this crazy obsession is to JUST EAT MY RECOMMENDED AMOUNTS. No, I did not blow up like a balloon, no, I did not 'get fat again'. I actually felt myself getting replenished: my bone materials, organ tissues. If you don't think these are important then I'll just mention one thing: your bones are the area in your body that are required to make red and white blood cells. A lack of red blood cells leads to anaemia: reduced levels of oxygen carried to your tissues, you will feel weak and tired (like you've already mentioned) and if you are studying your grades will slip because you cannot concentrate and everything becomes an effort. Also you lose your periods. Not good if you want to keep your fertility intact for children in the future.
A lack of white blood cells is even more worrying. These are the 'fighters' in your immune system. If these levels are too low you won't be able to battle a common cold, and yes if you are that weak it can leave you in a terrible condition and perhaps even death. Yes, you can die. Not to mention, your body needs to be intact for battling more serious things such as cancer, heart disease and infectious diseases e.g. tuberculosis and typhoid. Is it honestly worth it just so you can be 'so skinny'? I'm sure your mother would be horrified if she knew what you were really doing.
Do you want to spend the rest of your life doing what you're doing? Because people do pick up on it no matter how secretive you are. I'm being serious. You either pick anorexia, or your life. It's not up to me if you want to waste it away or not. You're only young once. You only live once. I'm just telling you the facts minus the BS. In my opinion if you had even half a brain you should get yourself some serious professional help right away. Don't delay. This is a message to you all.
i am 5 ft 8 inches, 14, and 99 lbs. i gained some, then lost some. My mother says i look healthy and skinny and my friends are thinner than i am and say things like 'i hate girls who constantly worry about weight!' and get compliments on thinness all the time, so yeah i know where you're at. 900 calories is not good, trust me, i suggest eating more before it gets any worse (like where i am right now). Yes, i'm getting help from some people. message me anytime, i'm a good supporter, listener, and i can relate :) good luck!
Original Post by addictedwriter:
i am 5 ft 8 inches, 14, and 99 lbs. i gained some, then lost some. My mother says i look healthy and skinny and my friends are thinner than i am and say things like 'i hate girls who constantly worry about weight!' and get compliments on thinness all the time, so yeah i know where you're at. 900 calories is not good, trust me, i suggest eating more before it gets any worse (like where i am right now). Yes, i'm getting help from some people. message me anytime, i'm a good supporter, listener, and i can relate :) good luck!
Are you serious? I am 5'8 1/2" and was 115 lbs. at my lowest weight and was in terrible shape then. At 99 lbs. I can't imagine how you're even functioning right now. You need to start eating way more right now and get your weight up. According to my doc's charts, for our height 127 lbs. is the very minimum weight you should be at!
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