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This is so stupid! Parents shoving food down my throat while not eating for themselves!


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This is so stupid!  This is making me so mad!  Because my mom is convinced I'm going anorexic (which I'm NOT), she's making me eat a humongous breakfast so that my stomach is about to explode.  And then she has HALF a piece of toast for breakfast!  Not even a whole one!  Half of one!  What do I say to them to let them know that THEY are the ones that are actually making me eat less--because they shove so much food down my throat in the morning!  None of my siblings get scolded when they say "I'm not hungry," but I do.  None of my siblings get watched with every bite they put into their mouth, just to make sure they finish it all.  This is so unfair.  I hate it.

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i know it'st he exact same for me,

my mom made me eat a massive omlette, a slice of toast and milk when for breakfast she had a slive of dry weight watchers bread and a cup of tea :|

and sometimes in the morning i'm just not hungry and hten when they make me eat MORE then i don't get to eat when i actually want to

++ when i go to friends houses and eat dinner there they never believe me and make me eat again

Have you considered sitting down with them and telling them this? Why would they have reason to consider you anorexic? Because you've chosen to eat healthier? Either way, it does sound very unfair. I would tell them both that they are stuffing you to a point of feeling unwell, and reassure them, let them know you have no intent on cutting your calories drastically - list the hazards of doing so if you need to (though don't do that if you feel it will give them fuel for the fire). I'm sorry they're giving you so much trouble.

Original Post by lalabanana:

Have you considered sitting down with them and telling them this? Why would they have reason to consider you anorexic? Because you've chosen to eat healthier? Either way, it does sound very unfair. I would tell them both that they are stuffing you to a point of feeling unwell, and reassure them, let them know you have no intent on cutting your calories drastically - list the hazards of doing so if you need to (though don't do that if you feel it will give them fuel for the fire). I'm sorry they're giving you so much trouble.

 you're right, and i think they got the idea of MY possible anorexia fromt eh fact that i didn't want to eat at Taco Bell, stopped eating processed foods, and came laong for grocery shopping so we only bought whole grain breads etc

And actually showing them a calorie-count day on this site might help as well.  Your parents (like mine) may not be aware of what a normal (assuming you're eating normally) food regimen looks like for someone your age.  If you show them that you know what you're doing, and that you know what's healthy and what's not, then it may help a lot!

Oh girl, slr101, I feel you!  This is tough.  When people close to you throw around words like "anorexic," it really hurts a person's feelings more than they might think!

To be fair, you have lost 13 lbs. in three months according to your profile, and now are at the extreme low end (18.8) of a healthy BMI for your height. I am, too, but I am also 35. You are 15 and still growing (whether or not you have reached your full height, you are still maturing), so I can understand why your parents might be worried about your fairly rapid weight loss. (It's not an unhealthy rate of loss, but it is rapid all the same, especially for someone who wasn't overweight to begin with.)

If you truly are eating as much as you need to at 15—which is a significant amount, made all the more so by your activity level—and you made changes to your diet to be healthier, then I agree with those who say that you should try to explain this to your parents. Put their fears that you are undereating to rest.

I also caution you against losing more weight. You mention wanting possibly to drop to 110 in your journal. At that weight you would be classified as "underweight" according to your BMI. The fact that you are toying with the idea of dropping to an unhealthy weight does ring a few alarm bells in my mind, as does your concern about eating over maintenance for one day. You're 15: be a kid. While it is admirable that you are trying to take your health into your own hands, it is a little disturbing to me that you journal your concerns about indulging once in a blue moon, even if you did resolve to let it be. 

You also mentioned that you are now 2 pounds under your maintenance weight, which puts you at 111—the very lowest weight for a healthy BMI at your height. I do hope that if you grow taller you will not try to hold yourself to this weight, and that should your figure further develop as you grow older you will again not try to hold onto the low-end of the BMI scale if your body is not designed for it.

You did mention in a previous post coming close to the precipice of an ED once before. So be careful. And give your parents a break for being worried about you. They love you. My parents love me, too, but were far too accepting of my losing weight when I was your age (and, like you, I wasn't overweight to begin with). I teetered on the edge of an ED for many years, and even fell down the hole for about half a year. My parents, however, never worried about my eating habits at all. My father even complimented me for being so thin. Personally, I would take your parents' reaction over my own any day, knowing what I do now.

slr101: Though I have developed anorexia, I was going along to the shops before this to pick my own food, as I wanted to get control of my emotional eating and cut back on processed products - the looks I got were almost of horror. Now my mum is happy for it, though I suppose she's happy to see me eat -anything-... Still, the looks on their faces when I first turned around and said I wanted to pick food out was priceless. Heh.

I should add, my ED developed for reasons awaaaay from wanting a healthier lifestyle. More to do with fear of my future. Dx

I went through this when I was a teen (now I am 29), but when I was about 15-16, my Mom was CONVINCED that I was anorexic.  So for months I endured the forcing food, But I ate ALOT on my own too.  So finally I told her to take me to the doctor and have them do tests on me to know for sure.  I knew that I was eating enough and that the doctor was going to tell her what I already knew.  That I was fine.  Just naturally thin back then.  So she did.  When the results came back the doctor told her I was at a healthy weight for my age and height, and that I was eating just fine.  She was then convinced that her forcing food was the reason I was healthy, but she left me alone for a few months and then took me back.  Results were the same.  Perhaps your Mom should take you in so that she can see for herself what you already know? 

I think you should listen to petite_powerhouse.....

You seem to be at a very healthy and average weight for your height, even a bit on the low side.  Why don't you talk to your parents and doctor about a healthy maintenance diet?  If you can come to something agreeable that your DOCTOR approves of, your parents will have a hard time forcing food on you.

Also, you might not realize it now but they are doing this out of love and concern for you even if their behavior is hypocritical.

Maybe you should compromise. A dry slice of weight watchers toast and a cup of tea sounds really iffy to me for a 15 year old. Not much nutrition. Maybe your mom could fix you a healthy breakfast, egg whites, fruit...low fat cheese over the scrambled egg whites...perhaps if they kept it healthy and you actually ate the healthy food instead of a breakfast that is iffy at best....

At least your mom is trying to make you eat. My mom is GLAD that I'm dieting. Whenever she sees me get something to eat, she just has to comment on it.

Why do they think you have anorexia? Your profile says you are 5'5" and 113. That's pretty small.

Why is your mom only eating toast? Does she need to lose weight?

Unfortunately, I think it's difficult to get the entire story on a forum.

I wish you luck though! Take care of yourself! Be healthy! Talk to your mom about her being healthy too because just a half a slice of toast for breakfast is too little for anyone!

everyone's parents makes their kids eat a lot... u will most likely too... as long as ur active as a kid u souldn't really need to watch what u eat, ur metabolism is gonna be pretty high unless u had an ED or something

Holy moley! First and foremost, let me say thank you for replying, everyone.  You have no idea how much better just seeing replies made me feel. :)  And now to address the issue at hand:

sir101: I can really sympathize with you, and I am really sorry about that.  It's definitely not fun, and I hear you with the friends' house thing!  Although my parents don't normally make me eat again, I do have to tell them what I ate, and sometimes they don't believe me when I say that I had five slices of pizza, even though it's always the truth (I have a horrible weakness for pizza).  

lalabanana:  Thanks for the advice!  And yes, I think it is because I've been choosing to eat healthier, I've been taking a "pass" on things like tortilla chips and french fries, and choosing a side salad instead.  Thank you for the advice, and I'm pretty sure that I have decided that next time they accuse me of not eating enough, I will simply explain that I am trying to eat not less, but better, and that I know for a fact that I am eating plenty.

erinread:  That's a great idea!  I should just come home one day and tell them what I ate today, and maybe they will start to believe me.  I will explain how I now prefer apples over Pringles, carrots over Cheetos, et cetera.  Thanks! :)

petite_powerhouse: Thank you so much for your reply!  I really do appreciate you putting thought into this. :) There are, however, a few things that I would like to point out, in my own defense, and a few things that I absolutely agree with you on.  I've actually been using a BMI calculator designed specifically for teens: http://kidshealth.org/teen/food_fitness/dieti ng/bmi.html, because the tools on CC are designed mostly for adults, although I do follow the food and fitness suggestions.  According to that site, I can actually go down to 99 pounds and still be at a healthy weight.  Rest assured, however, that I am not even considering going lower than 110.  I want to be slender, not skinny.  Oh, and according to the doctor I have reached my full height (although I was quite upset to hear that!).  I definitely understand where you're coming from with the "alarm bells" ringing when I worry about one overeating day, and I truly do realize that this is a problem.  I have set my mind to resolving this and becoming less upset with myself over little things like that.  I am a smart little girl, and I realize the signs of anorexia and know how to avoid it.  Thank you for the other tips, and I realize more than ever that my parents are doing this because they love me, although setting an example would, in my mind, be a better option.  I'm truly sorry about the way you ran into an ED.  I'm glad you got out!

dove2424:  That is a great idea!  My doctor probably understands better than my mom what happens when teens try to eat healthier, and it just takes some experimenting for a while.  I've been trying to determine what my body reacts well to, and I've come to the conclusion that all-natural or processed things don't really make a difference to my system (for example, white bread and wheat bread), but it's fresh foods in the raw that make a difference.  I fare better on salads and sushi than on fried chicken and french fries!  Thanks for the great idea. :)

gi-jane: Look at my reply to her section. :)

kthompson92: Again, thanks for the reply.  I'm not sure that I want to set up a plan with my doctor, because I'm trying not to make this such a "big deal."  I feel like if I just try to keep to little changes day by day, it won't take over my mind and become an ED.  Obviously I have failed at that a bit, but nevertheless, I am still trying.  I will take your advice, however, if it looks good in the future. :)

monarch777: Thanks for the tips, but the weight watchers toast and tea thing wasn't me; that was a different poster.  I am proud to say that for breakfast, I have a bowl of oatmeal (prepared with milk), a piece of fruit, and a big glass of water. :)

francescas: I'm sorry about that.  I am always open for venting/ranting if you ever need it. ^^

stripedtiger:  The fact that I have been watching what I eat more often than usual is the reason they are suspicious, and thanks for understanding how hard it is to say everything on a forum. :) I will be sure to talk to my mom about that! Oh, and just for the record, no, she does not need to lose weight.  She has a very muscular body, but very lean as well.  I would say she looks perfect. ^^

rgupta19: Thanks for the advice, and no, I have never developed an ED before.  I've been making a point to avoid it, actually, ever since I started trying to drop a few pounds.  I am still wary of developing the symptoms of it, and I try to just relax when I get too caught up in what I eat.

xoxoxo Okie

Ah, yes: I should have assumed there would be a different BMI calculator for teens, seeing as the body often continues to mature even into the early 20s.

You're clearly an intelligent young woman with a very good head on your shoulders. It sounds like you know what you're doing. And who knows? Now that you have adopted a healthy lifestyle, perhaps it will rub off on your parents down the road.

Do put their minds at ease. Explain your new eating habits and let them know the changes they see in your appearance are not cause for concern. At 5' 5" you're just a tad taller than I am, and I know that even a little weight loss is very obvious on shorter women. I imagine the change is fairly dramatic to them, and that is why they are worried.

I know totally how you feel.

I used to suffer from bulimia, and my mum noticed nothing, did nothing. I suffered in silence, and although I was thin, I probably wasn't noticeably underweight. I would have appreciated the help THEN.

Not the "you're turning anorexic" when I am simply trying to maintain a cal-restrictig diet, pretty much recovering/recovered.

I'm 15 too. My mum's becoming more understanding though, she allows me to choose a lot of meals, but occasionally she'll have these breakdowns where she'll scream at me about my weight and stuff. It's not good :/ But I suppose I Can see where they come from.

I truly believe my mother pushes food on me to make her feel even better about the fact that she eats so little. 

For lunch everyday, she eats a whipped lowfat yogurt and a handful of grapes. And then often comes home and makes a bowl of broccoli for dinner.

I know she pushes food on me because she's proud that she doesn't eat. How messed up is that?

 

hey dued i fill u my parents did the same thing when i was your age but are they doin to be mean??? or just caring about u so calm down and ask them why they are doin it and then ask them if you could come to an agreement for u to get on a scale and write down your current weight and then ask them the amout the want increased and ito be if they doin it the to be mean call 911 Yell

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