Health & Support
Moderators: bierorama, ksylvan, nycgirl, autopilotfrank193, peaches0405


I have been trying to loose weight for 2 years


Quote  |  Reply

Sorry this is long. I have been realizing that ever since the first time I lost weight, I have been trying ever since.

The first roundabout went very well.. then I developed anorexia and lost too much. Even then I was striving for a lower weight. When I so called "recovered" I was still trying to loose weight. But I couldn't because I developed a terrible binge eating disorder to replace my anorexia, and I could not stop eating ice cream and chocolates for the life of me. I was still afraid to eat a sandwhich, because it was high cal.. but when I got into binge mode I could easily eat 2 tubs of ice cream a day.. resulting in my weight gain and the return of my "health". When I reached around 145lbs I started purging after my binges in an attempt to control my weight. I even started working at L.A. Weight Loss because I could do the plan for free and though it would motivate me... but it didn't. I gained 10 lbs while working there. I have maintained at about 155-160lbs for about 6 months. All while trying to lose weight. I'll eat my recomended cals and then blow it on the weekends, or binge in the middle of the day and give up. Although my meals are more nutritious, I feel like it's a never ending struggle with my weight.

I am obsessed with losing weight, finding new ways to loose weight, nutritous foods and super foods, low cal recipes, you name it. Every week I buy plenty of fresh veggies, fruits, low fat proteins, and whole grains.. then I end up blowing it by eating WAY too much.

I even took it so far as to make myself gain weight, so that "when I REALLY stick to it!!!" i'll be even more impressed with the results. Because of that week long binge I'm now siting at 166lbs on my 5'2 medium frame. WTF i think i'm going crazy.. making myself gain weight. ughh

I sound like such a hyprocrite, "do this, eat that, you loose weight" yet I am stuck here half-assed but desperatley trying.

I don't know why I wrote this.. just wondering if anyone has ever experienced this. I know how to loose weight, I know how to be healthy, but for some reason I constantly sabatoge myself. I'm tired of it.

7 Replies (last)

I am also recovering from anorexia, and like you this crazi binge like cycle has come into my life. I am scared to eat a burrito but can eat a box of cookies!! I totally feel you, it feels good that I am not alone. I am sorry that you are struggling with theses same problems. We can be strong together and beat this!!

Your problem is that you don't have control around food.  You sound like you understand it pretty well (to the point of obsession) and you can explain it to others but you haven't worked out a way to manage it properly.  Currently, it's managing you. 

So I think you need to find ways that mean you feel more in control without obsessing, starving or resorting to fad quick fixes.  It almost certainly means that you don't count calories, for example, but learn to portion control those healthy foods you buy in other ways. 
#3  
Quote  |  Reply

I know exactly how you feel - sometimes I feel like I've been dieting for years to no avail and like you I've had a nasty wee ED to get in the way as well.

But I feel like I'm slowly, very slowly starting to get back in control of my eating.

I've basically removed the power that I used to give food and now see it for what it really is. When I really, really think about it - it takes me I dunno 15 minutes to enjoy one of my favourite foods or a favourite meal, or I could spend say half an hour bingeing. Now in the big scheme of things I'm essentially giving myself pleasure for only 15mins out of the day and then I feel like crap afterwards. I dunno about you - but really breaking down how little time it takes to consume your favourite foods really brought things back to reality for me.

I've also experienced the wonderful empowerment of resisting food - I feel on top of the world! On Friday we had friends over for an unexpected dinner and I resisted all the nibbles and even a glass of wine. On Sunday we went to a BBQ and I brought my water bottle, sipped on that the whole time and ate when I got home. It was amazing to feel so in control and every time I resist the urge to binge I feel more and more empowered to succeed again the next day.

Hope that helps :)

Original Post by gi-jane:

Your problem is that you don't have control around food.  You sound like you understand it pretty well (to the point of obsession) and you can explain it to others but you haven't worked out a way to manage it properly.  Currently, it's managing you. 

So I think you need to find ways that mean you feel more in control without obsessing, starving or resorting to fad quick fixes.  It almost certainly means that you don't count calories, for example, but learn to portion control those healthy foods you buy in other ways. 

 That sounds like it would actually be a good plan. I don't count everyday.. but on the days that I don't it usually because I've lost controll or I just wake up feeling like I don't give a crap.  I'll try breaking out my childrens serperator plates again. They are fun to eat off of anyways lol.

demi8 - i know what you're saying. and when I do plan ahead to eat healthy meals that I enjoy, I usually do pretty good. Its usually just those few days a week (like weekends, or bbq's for example!!) that are holding me back. Embarassed oh where did you go self control..

I am in the same situation as you are.

For about two years I battled with anorexia, I did not want to get better for anything and kept losing weight.  I got to my lowest weight (nevermind the numbers) then a crisis happened in my family and something in me snapped.

I was determined to get better... that kind of led to bouts of binging and now I am at a healthy weight and need to learn to maintain, especially since I am starting to keep gaining over my 'ideal' weight.

I think we could help each other if you want.

I'm just looking back at these posts.. I haven't been on  calorie count in a very long time, and I came back to update my stats. I'm now sitting at 135lbs. I still feel like I need to lose some more wieght but I am proud of myself for coming this far. It's been very slow and gradual. I'm not counting calories anymore, just trying to eat healthfully. I still have trouble with bingeing but I think that's going to be a life long battle for me.

From 166 to 135, even though it took me two years. I'm happy with my progress. GO ME :)

I am in a similiar boat as you! After being hositalized for anorexia, i developed a binge eating cycle and ended up moving from 80 ounds to 140. I eventually got it back down to 125 mainly do to my rigorous athletic training for college volleyball. Even now though i binge every morning on breakfast usually (oatmeal banana blueberries apple a protein bar and cereal) so much so that i only have 300 calories to spare for lunch snacks and dinner. I rarely treat myself because i am terrified of gaining weight. I even cancelled my birthday dinnner with my family because i didnt want to be around pizza where i could possibly binge on it. I am scared of all theses diffferent types of food but yet i dream about having them. I just wish i was a normal eater

7 Replies
Advertisement
Advertisement