Not working out is so hard...hitting the calorie mark...

I've been in recovery from anorexia for about 6 to 7 weeks now (sometimes the time seems to just run together).

At first, I wasn't really committed, but I have really determined to put my mind to it and overcome this and get back to being healthy.  I'm currently 29 years old, 5'4", and 87lbs (I'm not supposed to know but I cheated yesterday at my weigh in with my nutritionist and my husband told me what I weighed).  I've been losing up until now and this week I was stable.

I've slowly been increasing my calories, although I'm nowhere close to where I need to be.  My dietician wants me at 2000-2250.  I'm maybe hitting 1500 a day.  However, I have finally committed myself to getting it up there and getting to those marks.  She has me getting away from my "safe" foods and really taking some risks when it comes to eating--while it feels somewhat liberating (I ate a sandwich yesterday for the first time in 2 years) it is so scary to get away from the patterns I'm so used to.

I know I have to recover.  I have to do it for my family--my husband and kids especially.  My 84 year old grandmother was in tears last weekend when she saw me because she thinks I'm dying of cancer and no one is telling her (I just don't think she'd understand the whole ED thing).  I had random people at my son's t-ball game approach me last night to ask me if I was ok or if I was ill.  One lady even asked me if I had anorexia (her sister suffers from it and she said I look exactly like her). I told her no, which of course was a lie, but I didn't feel like giving my life story to her either...so I feel like all signs are flashing red saying this is now the time to fully commit. 

My dietician put me on an exercise ban until my weight reaches a safe place--she says I'm too underweight now.  I was used to working out 6-7 days a week and have been doing at least 4-5 until this week.  I'm on day 3 of no workout so far this week.  IT IS DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!

Is it really that bad to do a little cardio while in recovery??  I just hate feeling so inactive and lazy all the time.  Luckily, I have a job that keeps me on my feet most of the day so that does help the lazy feeling some, and the rest of the day I'm busy chasing my kids. 

I guess I just don't understand why doing a little exercise is such a bad thing.  For those who have been in recovery--did you do any exercise?  Did it hurt or help the process?

Thanks!

Ashley

Heya Ashley,

I was around 82lb, at your height, only two years ago. I was put into hospital for three and a half weeks, just to give you an idea of quite how ill you are. I did 0 exercise when I was at the worst stage of my illness, although I have struggled with compulsive exercise which has been on and off for three years. I only recently found a healthy medium.

I only started exercising, in the form of 30 minute walks, when I was around 100lb. Before that, I only did strength training with a physio in hospital. I think it's absolutely fantastic that you've managed to go a few days without working out, you should be SO proud! It will only get easier, trust me. I went from doing 5 hours of cycling to nothing. Sometimes stopping cold turkey is the best way to do it.

I think 2000-2250 isn't too much at all, I had around 2500-2700 when I was first gaining. But, baby steps. I didn't go from 500 to 2500 after all. =) 1500 is probably an improvement, be proud of yourself. Focus on your next goal instead of getting overwhelmed by what's being asked of you. The sooner the better, but making yourself freak out and relapse isn't a good idea.

Just so you know, I gained weight over a period of two years, on and off, and I'm now 130-133lb at 5'6-5'7. I maintain on 1900-2100 with 30-45 minutes of exercise(working out or just walking). I think exercise is healthy, so long as your body is strong enough to cope. I would definitely hold off until you've gained a little, and then you can think about taking light walks for enjoyment rather than compulsively.

Good luck, feel free to message me if you need answers. xx

i'm so sorry you have to hide this from your grandmother! :( i've also just recently started recovery (in jan.) and we're hiding it from all of my aunts, uncles, grandparents and cousins.. they all think i have ovarian germ cell cancer, since my family has a history of tumors and whatnot in the lady parts area :s but i know how hard it is to have to hide your ed from the people you love!!

i'm with the person above on holding off the exercise for now; it'd be terrible if you were to pass out on the treadmill or something! maybe if it makes you feel better you could take baths? i like to take them because they kind of make me feel like i'm swimming haha :D and they're really fun too!

also the reason exercise a bad thing during recovery is because anorexics need to keep in as many calories as possible for significant and healthy weight gain :) and exercise burns some of those calories which kind of slows down the process of recovery. good luck, hope i helped, and take care!! x ali