What to do when you've lost your period... and *don't* want it back?
I've been struggling with anorexia since last summer (rather, I was diagnosed last July, I'd been already been struggling prior to that) and one of my biggest triggers is my menstrul cycle. That's one of the reasons why I constantly diet and obsess about my weight.
I don't want to be on birth control pills, have been told by my physician that an IUD is right out, (I'm eighteen years old, mind you) and have only been scoffed at and patted on the head whenever I mention the word ''hystorectomy.''
Children is one thing (even if I liked kids, which I don't) I would never want as there's a major history of mental illness in my family (father has alcoholism and depression, brother is autistic, I have an ED and everyone, including my mother, have severe obsessive compulsive tendencies... and that doesn't even begin to touch on the extended family!) Of course, due to my age, no one will even consider sterilizing me until I've popped out a few sprogs. This is one of the most frustrating battles I've ever endured!
Please, someone, say... something!
As for BC, I just don't particularly care for the idea of having to take a pill at the same time on a daily basis and I won't even get into my fears about the side effects...
You are aware of the depo-provera shot, right? You get the shot every three months and you never get your period. Occassionally you get it during th first few months, but after that you stop getting it all together.
As for you escuse that you worry about the side effects of BC...that is ridiculoius...you really think the side effects of BC are worse than and ED and amenorrhea???????
Also, the depo shot, however convienant, also has a high risk of compromising a woman's bone density.
But, please, don't deprive your body just so you don't have a period!!! You may think it's a great side effect, but you are more than likely doing more harm to your body than you realize. Please talk to your doctor about BC options and proper nutrition. I don't mean to sound condescending, and I'm sorry if I did. I just want you to be healthy. :)
Have you gone to a doctor about the pain? An underlying condition may be causing it. I went 2 years without having a period because I was so morbidly obese and when I got it back it was really painful for the first few months. I still have more cramps than is normal for a girl my age, but it isn't anything I can't deal with. I feel like it was my body adapting to performing a function it wasn't used to doing. How long has it been since you have had a period? They tend to be harsher on 11 year old girls than they are on older girls.
If you don't like a daily pill than look into the Nuva ring or the patch. There are lots of options. Discuss them with your doctor along with your concerns over side effects. Birth control is also likely to lessen the severity of your period. It will also make your period predictable so that you know when to expect it and you can feel more prepared.
I was in the same position as you, one of the major factors for me losing/maintaing a low weight was the loss of period.
However you just have to get over it, there are so many things in life you just have to deal with regardless of how much you dislike it. I feel like I CAN be blunt about this because I HAVE been there so my advice? GET OVER IT.
I do think you very extreme about it. Starving your self to the point of not having a period seems like a slow form of suicide- ill fed people are at the risk of dying young. I believe there are people who eat a minimal amount in the belief that they will have longer lives, but they are also extremely strict about the quality of their nutrition and health. I've only seen a picture of a man who was doing that but if a woman is that skin and bones I could see she could lose her period. You could check into that as an option. "I'm NOT ED, I want to live forever or die trying." You may change your mind ( some kids are horrible, others are lovely, most are OK-nothing is that predictable) or find a local doctor who would be willing because you ARE an adult. Cosmetic surgeons do a lot of unnecessary things for money. If the TV show"nip and tuck" is anything to go by, hysterectomy could be with in the bonds of "cosmetic" surgery. Why am I willing to not be very disapproving- there children who can be adopted. A hysterectomy will never prevent some one from adopting, or a couple from employing a surrogate mother. There is more to being a mother than having a functional womb. You ARE in luck in that you belong to a society (and a time- overpopulation) that does not define a womans sole worth as to how many children she bears.
Give yourself some time, you are buckling "tradition"- "Youth are rebellious about weird things" attitude if nothing else. There is a cure for Youth- time. In time you can get a hysterectomy if you really are determined. Women CAN bear children till their 50's. ( 30 years that you can at any time "I told you so I'd get one")Meanwhile try the birth control methods. You may find your body accepts them, and it may not as inconvenient as you think compared to becoming ED and dealing with the problems that causes. One treatement for painful periods is for the person to go on birth control pills for a while to help regulate their body. There are some who would love to be on the convenience of the pill and its related methods. You do realize a side affect of those who cannot tolerate birth control hormones can be a stroke- I've read its can be predicted as a possibility if you get very bad headaches with the pill. So even if you were willing it may be a poor option for you. Life sometimes gives you poor choices. Just telling you to chose to be"sensible" instead of a rebellious "I want it NOW" and to stop hurting your health by starving yourself. (if you think your family has problems you would like to avoid, have you considered that ill health may trigger problems in you ?) Not that I also think been older is a cure all -some even when older have weird ideas I disapprove of- 9/11, 7/7 and the Madrid bombers had their hearts desire.
You've received some really bad advice here, as I'm sure you know.
A) you are NOT insane to not want to reproduce with a history of mental illness in your family - quite honestly I think this is the proof that you are anything but insane. You're sane, and you're rational.
B) You are not insane to want to avoid periods when they cause you so many problems. They aren't supposed to cause so many problems, but yours do, so that's your reality.
I highly recommend the shot. Only need to go in once every three months, it will cause weight gain, and stabilize your mood, very much so. I weighed 102 when I first went on it, now I bob around 125, all due to the shot. This was a good thing for me, I was too thin and the shot actually made me healthier. I've been on it for over 15 years, no periods -- it's blissful. Yes, there is a bone density issue: so take calcium and exercise - I have, and I've only had very mild bone loss. If I'd been more diligent with my calcium, I wouldn't even have that.
If you prefer the pill, look into YAZ which also helps with mood, and gives shorter periods. Or Seasonale, which only gives you periods every three months. But...you do have to take a pill everyday.
Like you I asked for a hysterectomy or to have my tubes tied when I was 22 (20+ years ago now) and was told "Oh you'll change your mind, honey." Well I knew myself, I knew my mind, and they didn't -- and I never changed my mind. I doubt you will, either. It's a shame that you are being told this too - as if you don't know who you are. As if women who don't breed are foolish? Whatever.
I've never commented here before but I had to say something, you were getting more criticism than advice, and it was advice that you asked for.
I asked to have my tubes tied a year after I had my daughter and they said they wouldn't do it because I only had one child and was 23 years old and would likely change my mind.
So, I guess statistics would say that I would have changed my mind, but I never have and I'd still like to get my tubes tied (15 years later).
I agree, in a way, with cheery's point B above. The fact that your period causes you so much pain and difficulty means that your body is not properly regulating your female hormones. The solution is not to starve yourself - this will only create additional problems. And the pill will only mask your real problem (I'm not a doctor, so this is the opinion of a regular person who has had similar problems). If I were you, I would seek out an endocrinologist who will be able to determine which of your hormones are misregulated and will know how to correct that. In my case, I am taking progesterone on days 15-28 of my cycle. My doctor says that my body may reset itself so that I can go off the pills, but she wants me to stay on them for at least a year or two before I try going off of them.
Given that the odds are stacked against you (your extensive family history of mental illness) I think you would be wise to seek professional help for that aspect of what you're dealing with too, before it's too late.
Good luck!
:)
Sorry to dissapoint you, But no.
I didn't think I wanted any children either,(some of the same reasons as you) but waited until I was almost 30 before I finally decided. I told them then I wanted my tubes tied. they did it. For all those who wanted to have their tubes ties in their 20's and were told no, you were too young, did you get them tied when you were older and smarter? I hope so. I agree with those that told you to go to a doctor about your bad periods. That is NOT normal. But don't starve yourselve. Get healthy and on birthcontrol until you are old enough to make this decision. Don't give up. I really like children, but didn't want my own for very serious personal reasons.
For the record, I never said I developed an eating disorder in order to avoid my period, it was a combination of things (family, genetics and personal history, I believe) that led up to it. What I mentioned in the initial post is merely a trigger that has continually caused me setbacks in my road to recovery. If you're too thick to understand any of these words please, take up an English class. Remember, you didn't fail, it was the school systems.
It's very disappointing indeed that women who don't choose to reproduce are looked down up which was just more fuel to the fire behind this post. After seeing the things my mother has gone through, between my brother and myself, (visits, sometimes twice a day!, to see me while inpatient in the hospital, constant fights with the school system for my brother's rights as an individual, not even as a mentally handicapped child, and then all that she's had to put up interally, fighting with the both of us while dealing with our disabilities and disorders, sometimes physically... I'm tearing up just thinking about it now) I don't believe I could ever handle such things but, I certainly don't ever want to find out!
I disgress... I'm going to visit my PCP in the near future to start the HPV vaccinations and will discuss the (Deprovera?) shot with her then.
Thank you both again, very much!
bahamamama,
Another birth control option you might want to discuss with your Dr. is the Nuva ring. I have friends use it so they can go months without a period (you put one in every 3 weeks instead of every 4), you can administer it yourself, and it has been shown that having a period every 3 or 4 months is enough to prevent against bone loss. Birth control has been shown to decrease the risk of ovarian and endometreal cancer.
Also, I also had horrific periods before birth control. I had SEVERE mood swings, was unable to function due to cramps, and had a very heavy flow. My mood swings were so bad that my parents would avoid me for that week. I tried the low dose birth control pills and they wouldn't regulate me, so my Dr. put me on the regular dose (which is still low compared to when my mom had taken them). After going on ortho tri-cyclin, I don't look at my period as anything besides an nuisance that keeps me from having sex for a while.
You know that starving yourself is not a good thing, you've said as much in both of your posts. I just want to make sure you re-evaluate birth control.
No doctor will do the operation while you're still in you teens and for the reasons you listed.
You may change your mind. On the other hand you may very well not. But you should wait until mid to late 20's, then they will do the operation nearly without questions. Til then i suggest the pill (not hard if you take it as you wake up) and very reliable. I have heard the shot is quite effective as well.
Good luck with your recovery.
Gain the weight you need in order to be healthy. Talk with your doctor and they can list options that are open to you, what side effects they will cause, etc.
