do you hate that moment when....
....you realize you've reached your goal weight, but you're still critical of your body. what the 'eff.
Its not a matter of body composition, I've been doing resistance based exercises for 2+ years. My arms are sleek and toned, abs are muscular, thighs are thin, etc etc.
I'm here, finally at 120lbs and I'm just...dissatisfied. I'm wise enough to realize you can't pin hopes/dreams/happiness on an arbitrary weight...and I wasn't expecting a complete physical transformation. I've been in this body for 27 years so...I know what it looks like, I know I'm bottom heavy and I that I lack breast tissue; these are all things I've come to terms with.
I just find it an interesting phenomena that 5+lbs a go, I was pleased with my shape and not as critical of it. yet as I lost those 5 lbs...its like my criticism versus acceptance scales were shifting more towards criticism.
Why is that? is it the intense focus on 5 measly lbs? It took a fair amount of effort to lose 5 lbs, I plateaued forever, so losing it was pretty much my modus operandi in regards to food choices and time management. I can only presume that since I spent so much...mental energy towards losing 5 lbs, now that I'm here I feel dissatisfied cause...now what do I do?
Maintenance is pretty straight forward for me; eat mindfully, move more often, and I also have genetics on my side (I come from a line of small thin people). Its a no-brainer and not something I have to constantly think about.
I guess now that I'm here I feel like...where else can I go besides, "extreme" body composition? I've been toying with the idea of entering a bikini figure comp, but that takes even more effort than losing 5lbs, and I'm afraid, or don't feel like, I can really commit to something like that. I suppose its frustration; the next 'level' of body composition, for me, would require a giant sacrifice I'm not sure I want to make.
I suppose it comes down my perception: is it acceptance, or settling if I don't pursue the bikini figure competition? Or is it unnecessary sacrifice versus striving for excellence (no matter the cost) if I do participate in the bikini comp?
It seems vacillating between these two perceptions is expressing it self via body angst and petulance. harumph.
I know its something I can only figure out for myself, but if anyone has any suggestions on which path I should take (acceptance of my body, funnel mental energy elsewhere, versus pursue entering a bikini figure competition, continue funneling mental energy to all things fitness), it would be helpful.
omg, I'm so verbose, ha. sorry for the wall o' text.
Original Post by vonapathy:
....you realize you've reached your goal weight, but you're still critical of your body. what the 'eff.
Its not a matter of body composition, I've been doing resistance based exercises for 2+ years. My arms are sleek and toned, abs are muscular, thighs are thin, etc etc.
I'm here, finally at 120lbs and I'm just...dissatisfied. I'm wise enough to realize you can't pin hopes/dreams/happiness on an arbitrary weight...and I wasn't expecting a complete physical transformation. I've been in this body for 27 years so...I know what it looks like, I know I'm bottom heavy and I that I lack breast tissue; these are all things I've come to terms with.
I just find it an interesting phenomena that 5+lbs a go, I was pleased with my shape and not as critical of it. yet as I lost those 5 lbs...its like my criticism versus acceptance scales were shifting more towards criticism.
Why is that? is it the intense focus on 5 measly lbs? It took a fair amount of effort to lose 5 lbs, I plateaued forever, so losing it was pretty much my modus operandi in regards to food choices and time management. I can only presume that since I spent so much...mental energy towards losing 5 lbs, now that I'm here I feel dissatisfied cause...now what do I do?
Maintenance is pretty straight forward for me; eat mindfully, move more often, and I also have genetics on my side (I come from a line of small thin people). Its a no-brainer and not something I have to constantly think about.
I guess now that I'm here I feel like...where else can I go besides, "extreme" body composition? I've been toying with the idea of entering a bikini figure comp, but that takes even more effort than losing 5lbs, and I'm afraid, or don't feel like, I can really commit to something like that. I suppose its frustration; the next 'level' of body composition, for me, would require a giant sacrifice I'm not sure I want to make.
I suppose it comes down my perception: is it acceptance, or settling if I don't pursue the bikini figure competition? Or is it unnecessary sacrifice versus striving for excellence (no matter the cost) if I do participate in the bikini comp?
It seems vacillating between these two perceptions is expressing it self via body angst and petulance. harumph.
I know its something I can only figure out for myself, but if anyone has any suggestions on which path I should take (acceptance of my body, funnel mental energy elsewhere, versus pursue entering a bikini figure competition, continue funneling mental energy to all things fitness), it would be helpful.
omg, I'm so verbose, ha. sorry for the wall o' text.
It sounds like self-love and self-acceptance should be your goal for now. Try improving/focusing on other parts of your life. Do you have hobbies? Art? Movies? Maybe nurture other aspects of your life so you perhaps don't over-analyze your physical appearance and put less emphasis on it? It is good to be healthy, to take care of yourself- but that goes for your mental/emotional selves as well! :)
vonapathy:
Well, this is an old bag of bones replying, but I will offer a few thoughts anyway.
I would not see anything wrong with you going the "next step" and trying to hit the bikini figure comp, EXCEPT the trouble with doing that is once you hit it -- then what? Could you maintain it? Should you maintain it? Would it be healthy to try to maintain it?
A big deal for me was to try to get really toned 6-pack or 8-pack abs, and I kept doing a lot of walking, spinning, lifting, and hanging abs to get them and cutting calorie consumption. Well, as soon as I got them and when on a vacation to the East Coast and to Cape Cod, I realized I did not want to maintain the diet and exercise regimen to keep them.
I still stay in my weight window (most of the time), and I was happy that I hit the low body fat % and ab goal -- but I don't really think it was necessary. So I guess I am sort of thinking that, in one sense, you might like the challenge of going to the next comp goal (bikini comp), but would it really be worth it?
You seem very fit and very healthy and were quite motivated to accomplish the goals you did, so maybe there is no reason to go beyond that?
Good luck and live healthy!
Hi vonapathy
I just want to say that I know exactly how you are feeling. When I reached my goal weight just over a month ago, the first thought that came to my head was “really this is what my goal looks like?” It felt like a big letdown, I expected to look and feel better about myself. I was smaller but my cellulite was still there, my thighs still wobbled and my love handles never disappeared. Granted, I only had 7kg (~15lbs) to lose so the change was never going to be drastic. It was only once people started to notice and I saw a recent photo of me in a bikini that I started to feel like the effort was worth it.
I still have this fear that I am going to relax and gain everything back. There is another fear I have, which is that I will obsess about my body and start on a path of disordered thoughts and eating habits which I have done before in the past and I still struggle with today.
So I created new goals, unrelated to the number on the scale or measuring tape. Last week I started focusing on lifting and gaining strength and two days ago I signed up for an 8k race. I still think about losing another couple of kilos but I’m not sure if it is something I was to commit to. It took me a long time and effort to lose 7kg so it will take a lot more discipline and sacrifice to continue to lose. Plus, I like eating out with family and friends, I love cheesecake and other decadent desserts (in moderation of course 
) and I love unwinding with a few (or more) drinks on the weekend. So for me, I think it’s best to focus on fitness goals, rather than weight. I’d rather be happy then super skinny.
I’m not sure if my above ramble helps you at all but I guess it’s about finding the right balance. To answer your question, I guess it’s about finding about what is more important to you. What do you hope to gain by entering a bikini challenge? Are you willing to make the sacrifices to achieve this and what are you really hoping to get out of it?
All of the above and:
I have lost a lot of weight and, although I am now at a "normal" weight, I still see the fat girl in the mirror. I've read that it can take a good year for your mind to catch up to your body so over time that means you will like your body more. Right now I look in the mirror and say things to myself like "I look skinny" and not "I AM skinny" which is a big mental difference. I think it just takes some time and eventually we'll get there.
I understand where you are coming from. I have also managed to lose some vanity pounds and currently, I am in the best form of my life. Yet, I feel like there's always something "more" that I can do, to be better, to look better... but I think it's just the competitiveness in us and vanity issues, basically.
Personally, it is hard for me to stay still and say that I am completely satisfied with how I look. I am confident about my looks and everything but I still feel that the day when I stop thinking about how I look, is the day that I am becoming "complacent", if you get what I mean? So I just keep that in mind and try to find something new to improve on... it does not necessarily mean that I am unhappy with my body - just very critical of it and why not - it's my body and I want me to be the best me I can.
I think you should just try to relax.. and think about yourself and how you like to see improve. If you are actually happy with yourself, then try to make goals that are not necessarily related to weight - it could be things like eating more fruits, doing more housework.. things to keep you busy from obsessing about minute body issues. :) I know that is what I do - I keep myself busy by finding new things to read online!
All the best :)
the next 'level' of body composition, for me, would require a giant sacrifice I'm not sure I want to make
could you really deal with rarely enjoying food with family and friends; putting your body and mind through endless 'cut' and 'bulk' phases; spending time/money/energy worrying about caffeine supplements, calorie partitioning, etc; having your body, as object, be the focus (whether because of planning, worrying, or doing something about it) of at least 40% of your day? not to mention, probably some pressure around boob implants :/
vs working on accepting what you have and do, and using the remaining hours (& mental space) to connect with people, make cool things, what have you.
way easier to write that than follow it, for sure. losing weight's comparatively simple, in mechanics & psychology. maintenance is an odd thing, definitely a mind ****. i often struggle with body acceptance too, is all i can say.
I so get you on this one!! I am 5 lbs from goal and not sure it's worth the effort to get there. I will still have those love handles and saggy breasts, loose skin on my arms and upper thighs :( I read an article once that the closer people get to their idea of "perfection" the more dis-satisfied they are with their body. I kind of envy those people who just want to get to "a healthy weight" and call it good! LOL Right now I am more focusing on eating healthy and building strength and hoping for a bit more fat loss in my stomach as my hip to waist ratio is still higher than it should be for optimum heart health so I guess I can focus on that? 
I lost 40 pounds and now have been at my original goal weight of 135 for about a year and a few months now. I thought that I'd be completely comfortable and confident in my new body...but not really.
Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love how far I have come and what I look like compared to before. I am muscular and still have curves. But I still am critical of what I look like. I still have "fat" thoughts. But I remind myself that I am now at a completely healthy weight, am so much stronger, and especially I am a lot more confident. The "fat" thoughts creep up only once in awhile, thankfully, but when they do they definately make me feel down.
