binge-free challenge, anyone?

So I've got into a pattern of binging once a week.  In order to avoid falling back to be emotinoal eater, I'm gonna kick binges for good.  I know some of you out there are binging even more often, say by keep track of each other's eating habit, we can really help each other out.

Wow, Marla reading your posts is kind of like reading my own diary LOL.  Only I reversed it.  I would be good for the morning, binge in the afternoon until the early evening and then at one or two in the morning I'd be in my living room with a jump rope working it off.  But then I tend to eat when I'm over-tired so the next day....

Anyway, welcome to the board.  I've only been here for 6 days but those have been 6 binge free days thank you very much!  I've never felt this supported before---on the other hand I've never even admitted I had an eating disorder before.  I told my mother this morning, it was one of the most humiliating admissions I've ever made in my life especially since some of my body image issues revolve around her.  She's had a perfect body all my life and it's because she's a control freak about what she eats and how much she works out.  She was complaining the other day that she gained back the 7 lbs she "inadvertently" lost right before my wedding.  I'm divorced now, I was married in 1996.  It took her 10 friggin' years to gain 7 lbs that she accidentally lost!  I could gain that in a week!  Still, I think it's good I told her.  For one thing I don't want to hear her complain to me EVER AGAIN about how she simply can't finish a whole Noah's bagel because they're just so big.  Seriously, I love her dearly but I could smack her every time she says something like that.  Also, I need to bring this out into the open.

But beyond all that I have lost a lot of weight this week.  I've been eating normal meals and I've been a little under the weather so I haven't been working out but I haven't binged at all either.  So now I'm actually very close to my goal weight.  This is usually the time I start binging.  I found myself VERY tempted this morning and did eat about 100 calories more than I normally would for breakfast but I'm going to let it go.  As long as it doesn't snowball I'm good.  I'm going to have a normal lunch and then tonight I have that school fundraising dinner.  I will eat like a normal person there and when I get home I WILL NOT BINGE OR EVEN SNACK once I leave the dinner I am DONE  (I have the HARDEST time AFTER social events).  But I think this board will keep me honest.

Oh my god, Mom-Kyra.... I have "mom-issues" too!  My mom is soooo skinny and fit;  yes, she is totally obsessived with being a health-nut.  We were raised as vegetarians too.  My older sister is the same exact way too!  Its no wonder that I used to be anorexic.....  my father died when I was only 20, and I needed to control SOMETHING in my life, so I turned to exercise and started working out like a psycho.  Then I started obsessing over food and limiting what I ate so much that I was always starving.  It was a form of self -torture.  It hurt so bad, physically, to be hungry;  the physical pain, however, was better than the emotional pain of dealing with death and bereavement.

Sorry to be vent about this, but its where I'm coming from.   My weight dropped so low that I almost had a heart attack (I'm embarassed to say how low it went...)  In order to gain weight back, I binged like a mad-woman for over a year and now I feel completely over-weight. 

Mom-kyra, it sounds like you're doing really well!  Keep up the good work (souds cliche, I know...)

I have a problem with binges too...I will do really great for a few days eating only healthy foods, and then WHAM! I just eat everything in plain sight...

And then I have a stomach ache all night...

I think that since health is a lifestyle, I definitely need to quit this habit as well...especially because I dont want my daughters to see the way I eat and decide that that is normal...

I am making a pledge to stop binge eating for the rest of my life.

A couple of the posts I have seen today remind of something I read on www.anred.com   It is called night eating syndrome or something like that.  It is a real disease and you can get help.

Ok, I found the link directly to the information about the night eating  HERE IT IS

yes! 3 days!

I binged! :(

I am back to 0 days.

*Amber*

Hi all, thanks for posting everyone this has been really helpful to me. I find that I'm a social eater--by myself I can avoid most things, but once I'm with friends I just eat when they eat, where they eat, etc. I've brought my own food today as we were out--and that did help (soy crisps, an apple, water) but it's hard.

Anyway thanks everyone for their advice and input. I never really understood binging until i began limiting my food to what i needed vs what i wanted. If i think about it, I'm a regular binger. Its not even if I sit and eat a whole pie by myself--if I just indulge over what I need that's what it is right?

Hm... I guess I'm having a realization. Wow.

So...it's easier to do this if I can check with a friend: so i'll join this blog line--no more binges and when I feel like it i'll post. at least it'll keep my mind off of friggin eating... (I'm trying to go to 140 from 160 btw, at 5'4'')

lemme kno!

Wow marlasinger, you may very well be my "cosmic twin" (I'm from CA so bear with me here).  My father died when I was in my early twenties too although his death brought up some complicated emotions because he was absent for a huge part of my life.  Anyhoo, you should NOT apologize for venting.  If you can't do it here then where exactly can you do it?  I've written things here that I have written or said anywhere to anyone before and as I write these posts I've come to all sorts of new realizations.  Tully helped me realize that I hid my binging because I was really trying to hide something else (the fact that, in my opinion, I don't live up to people's perception of me) and until I wrote that blog about my mother's comments about how she couldn't possibly finish a Noah's bagel I never realized that maybe comments like that have something to do with my refusal to eat a full meal in front of anyone.  So personally, I think you should vent all you need to. 

By the way, I just got back from the auction/dinner and no, I didn't over do it and no, I won't be eating any more tonight : )

its on!!! its April 1....ill let you know!

i dont binge once i week, i binge once a day! its shocking in know, and im stopping tONITE!!! I SWEAR!! haha

i really need something to keep me on track! i just overeat permenantly!

[HELP ME!]

Cat,

I was right there a few weeks ago.  It feels like you will never be able to stop.  All you  need are a couple of solid days in a row to get you rolling.

I enlisted my boyfriend to help me.  I am accountable to him for my calorie intake, and I can't go into the kitchen alone after dinner.  When its time for my last snack of the night, he comes with me. 

This has really helped.  Some nights, he literaly has had to DRAG me out of the kitchen so I won't start to binge.

However....I'M GOING ON 8 DAYS WITHOUT A BINGE!  (and I'm down 2lbs)

Yes! Its the 1st and I am so glad! :) I hope I can start over today and not binge like last night. Wish me luck girls!

*Amber*

Hi Mom-Kyra, my twin!  Did you ever try talking to your mom about some of the issues?  I tried talking to my mom about everything, but she is in SUCH denial about having an ED.  Its really frustrating, but I feel like she looks at me so critically sometimes.  When I was anorexic, it really killed her to see me emaciated.  She never turned around and looked at HERSELF, however, to examine whether or not she may be responsible for some of what happened to me.  I know that I have to take full-responsibility for everything, but I feel like some of these issues are so deep-rooted.

My whole family is messed up about these things.  My younger sister is the only one who has not yet been tainted by food/weight issues and I want to protect her from this misery!

Congrats on not binging the other night at the auction dinner!!!!

I just ate three squares of Baker's chocolate.  I wasn't even hungry, I'm still completely full from lunch.  I bought the chocolate so I could make a pie for a woman from church (she just had foot surgery, poor woman).  Ugggggggh.

I'm good though.  A nutritious dinner and I'll realize how much better I like good food.  I think I'll go brush my teeth, too, so I get the chocolate taste out of my mouth (otherwise I'll be tempted to eat the rest of them!).

Baker's chocolate is like dark chocolate tho right? Not as bad as milk chocolate! :)

Keep on Keepin on, it's April 1st new leaf!

aww shayna thank you so much

two lbs thats awesome!!!!

i have to loose 5 kgs, i got a ball comming up and i bought a dress a size to small so i will get motivated, its a gorgeous dress, yellow, kinda like the one kate hudson wears in how to loose a guy in ten days omg its amazin!!

i just eat it cos i can, not cos in hungry haha fatty catty haha

but its april 2, so there will be no fooling around anymore, we are down to business!!

i just taught a aqua aerobics class, and tried the beep test! yay, i just gota work on the no chocolate diet haha

theres no choclate left in my house and i am outta pay till thursday so we should be high rolling till thursday 1 am lol :P

KEEP GOIN GIRLIES :) its not impossible, its just hard work ay

p.s shayna thats awesome two lbs im jelous haha

i was so proud of myself this weekend bcuz it was the first weekend that i ate like a normal human, until today. i'm so upset with myself, especially since it's april 1st, the beginning of a new month. i tend to binge on weekends and ruin the whole week because of it. i tell myself every friday afternoon, i'm going to be controlled, but then I give in, thinking i ruined the weekend and get out of control. i feel so awful come sunday nights, i contemplate calling in sick monday morning. the thought of having to get dressed up, feeling like this makes me sick. anyhow, i decided to read up on some chats to gain motivation and saw this 'binge free challenge', so i thought this to be the perfect opportunity to quit binging for good. i've got to do something, so i'm starting as of tomorrow. wish me good luck!

btw any tips ? i tend to eat when i'm bored and if i get off track, i loose complete control, ruining my whole weight loss system. i've only lost 1.5 lbs. since i started nearly a month ago.

ness01--Well, I'm a newbie (this will be my seventh day without binging whoo-hoo!) but the only thing that's got me through this last week is that whenever I find myself about to binge I come here and post about it.  Binging is kind of a subconscious activity---you don't actually think about the food you're inhaling or even what you're doing until after when you're feeling guilty.  Posting about it makes it something you're conscious of and once you're conscious of it you can control it--at least that's how it works for me.  Good luck on your new beginning! 

marlasinger---I've sort of talked to my mom about this and she does know she has a bit of an eating disorder and she definitely knows that she's a bit of a control freak (read OCD) when it comes to her weight and lots of other things in her life.  Still, she doesn't perceive the stuff about how she can't possibly finish a bagel or whatever as being a problem. I've decided to wait until she does it again in my presence before bringing it up; that way she won't be able to deny it.  But in her defense I didn't see those comments as a problem until I wrote about it here so I'm basically figuring it all out as I go along.

Okay, well I will update anyways. I did REALLY good tonight! I had a Special K bar at lunch when I got an appetite. I then went out with my friend and my son and ONLY ate a few bites of this and that! I MAINLY ate my side salad and didn't really even finish it! I work tomorrow so I will be in bed within the hour. I have NO urge to binge! I am getting motivated just by myself! :)

*Amber*

Catxx-   I agree with Shayna, once you get a few days under your belt it will get easier, it  also feels very good to be able to come on here and post your number of binge free days as they progress.

Ness01   I know its hard but practice forgiving yourself.  Whenever you binge don't get mad at yourself, dont think bad thoughts about yourself.   Just forgive yourself.     Getting upset with yourself almost ALWAYS just leads to more binging.  You have to break the cycle.

Awmsbailey     Congratulations on making it throught today!  Thats how you have to do it.  ONE DAY AT A TIME!  (actually sometimes 1 hour or even 1 minute at a time)

I am on I think day 23 of being binge free.  But I do have to admit something, I will start binging ( I mean it feels like a binge and I am totally in the binge mode feeling)  but then I stop at about 200 calories, sometimes at even only 100.  And I dont know what has clicked in me recently but for some reason I am now able to stop as soon as I realize what I am doing instead of just throwing my hands up in the air and saying I blew it so I might as well eat everything in sight.