Motivation
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Binging - the reasons, the stories, what works, what doesn't


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Hey CCers! I've got a few threads at the moment and this is just the latest in what seems to be a binge-themed thing I'm going through at the moment. 

I'm on a maintenance eating regime of about 2000 calories a day. This is not quite maintenance actually, it's still a little loss but nothing compared to the 1600 I was eating to drop my 25 pounds. I'm officially 6 pounds way from my original weight goal, but my "range" is 130-135 so I'm close.

My weight has started to trend upwards which is frustrating but not surprising as I have a really massive binge at least once a week, sometimes more like twice or three times a week. I try to log these but I actually lose track of the calories I consume. Yesterday I started eating (after breakfast) at 11am and didn't stop until 9pm - I felt ill by 2 but kept eating, until I felt sick, and then I ate more. I probably had net cals of 2000 yesterday, meaning that I ate about 4000 calories. 

This doesn't annoy or disappoint me as much as it disturbs me. I've always loved food and before CC I ate more than I should have, portion control wasn't in my vocabulary and neither was moderation in food or drink. Now I have a good balance of treats and control, mostly healthy stuff, I exercise 6 days a week, I log, I weigh, I'm pretty relaxed about most things, but when I binge I literally lose my mind for half a day at least, eat until I want to throw up (but don't) and then spend the whole evening feeling completely in shame. Not fun all in all. 

I'm exploring where these binges are coming from and why. I just bought a book "The Food and Feelings Workbook" (which has gotten great reviews!) to see if I can do some emotional work on why, just waiting for it in the mail. I just wanted other people to know that this is MY story, and ask you guys to contribute your own experiences. Some people disregard these "binges" as a cheat day, or as no big deal, or as water weight, etc. Some people binge on healthy food, some on junk, some on alcohol. I think it's all similar and for me at least I know it isn't "right," it doesn't feel "right," it doesn't feel like cheating it feels really disturbing and out of control. I promise not to belittle your experiences and maybe together we can all be stronger towards our health goals.

Looking forward to this thread so join in if you feel like you have something to contribute. Happy counting! 

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This is a great idea for a thread!

I lost 40 lbs on my own in a little over a year or so, and have been maintaining a good weight of 135-138ish (somewhere within that range, it changes) for the past year. I have turned into quite the health fanatic. I feel wierd when I don't exercise (I miss those endorphins!), and I actually do not crave 90% of the junk that I used to eat when I was overweight.

However, I do have those weak moments. I splurge at least once every 2 weeks on something that I really, really want, so I usually make sure to eat especially well around that. But sometimes, I get home from a stressful day at school and just want to devour the entire kitchen.

Thankfully, I'm not one of those people (usually, but on very rare occasions) where I fall off the wagon even minimally and then throw the entire day out the window and eat whatever is in the cabinets because I already screwed up. When I "binge" it's usually after dinner. I get massive cravings sometimes for sweets.

And when I binge, it's on healthy food 90% of the time, usually nuts, peanut butter, fruit, etc because I absolutely love healthy food, don't get me wrong. But since I never ever eat the junky sugary foods sometimes when I eat a small bit in moderation it sends my cravings SURGING. Like the other day I had like 2 brownies, some ice cream, and a cookie -_- and that was the day after having a massive peanut butter and hot fudge sundae. So yeah, wasn't too happy - but I've been good the days since.

And when I binge, I take a deep breath, allow myself to feel guilty for a bit, and then make sure to drink lots of water and green tea. I try not to get too worked up over it. I make sure to add some more cardio onto the following day's work out - and then after I do that, I nearly forget that it ever happened. We all fall off of the wagon sometimes - it's the fact that you get back on and move on towards your goals is what counts the most.

When I wasn't eating enough I would binge.

Personally for me, I did a lot of thinking on this topic; it started young. We had a big family and if you wanted the good food, you would have to eat it before other people got to it (it sounds sad now but i'm over it). Once i realized that, i also realized that when on a diet, I tell myself i can't have things so if i ever give into it, i think "well i already gave into it, might as well keep going"-and i would do so til i felt sick just because i didn't want it to be over. Then the next day, i would eat less because i felt so guilty which would lead me to eat bad again. Feeling deprived or guilty are depression-like feelings. If you feel like that, you'll want to be comforted.

I now give in to small portions of the things i want when i want. I also will NEVER eat less because i feel guilty about what i did; that was a big and very beneficial change for me. No matter how bad i do, I'll still have my planned snaks when i'm hungry, i'll just try to eat more vegetables. If i've been doing a lot of empy calorie things within a few consecutive days, I will tell myself "just one day, ALL clean foods, HARD workout and good night sleep". That always makes me realize what gets results and reminds me of what it feels like to fuel workouts with good food.

When i start to feel guilty, I think about the hard work i've done or all the muscle i have to burn the food. I remind myself that I'm too hard of a worker to feel guilty. It's hard to appreciate what you've done when you're so focused on where you want to be. 

Hey guys, thanks for the postings the more the better! 

I guess the problem I'm trying to get at is people who binge until they feel sick, and then keep eating. This isn't a cookie or two and then guilt, it is 3000 calories in two hours. I don't do it much but when I do I completely lose it. For me, I don't tell myself NO very often, I don't restrict the foods I love, I don't limit myself to raw veggies and THEN binge. I eat a healthy day (I homemake my granola bars, I homemake my lunch, and I eat fruit and veggies for snacks) and then eat the entire fridge in the evening. Or I eat a great breakfast and then eat the REST OF THE DAY until I'm so ill I can't even lie down my stomach feels like it's going to pop out of my body. 

I'm trying to stress that I'm not talking about a little slip up (although that's what they are really.) I always get back on it, I never try to dwell on it for long, I'm usually great the next day or even the whole next week. But I always circle back to at least one day where I have such a massive binge it's physically painful. This is not normal, this is not a regular slip up or cheat meal. I want to get to the bottom of it. Smile 

How did you overcome these weird binges? I'm trying to stay positive and I'm really excited about my book in the mail and figuring out how to handle this stuff. I've heard going for a walk is good, or try using "revulsion therapy" (sounds dodgy) or lots of other stuff. What do you think your "emotional" issues were that led to binges? Thanks guys, keep em coming!! 

 

 

 

Hi everyone,

I binge until I have pain in my stomach and that pain is all I can think about!

I have had a problem with food since I was 11yrs (now 39) but  only since going through therapy have I realized why.

It started with sneaky eating after telling a little lie.

Someone who I was very close to and spent the first 7yrs of my life with left. I saw her again when I was 11 at a party. Cream cakes were being offered out to everyone and she said to me be careful with them you are getting a bit on the chubby side!

My lie was to say no thank you  I don't like cream cakes, what child doesn't like cream cakes ?

Anyway later that same day I remember hiding in a cupboard stuffing my face with as many crisps and chocolate as I could as fast as I could, and so began the sneaky eating. This went on for years and slowly the weight went up.

I became obsessed with diets tried almost every one none of them working. I ended up eating (what I thought of as)a very healthy breakfast,  cycle 30 minutes to work eat a very healthy lunch that I took to work, work 8hrs and cycle 30 minutes home again,but actually not consuming more than 300 cals for both meals. I would get home hungry very hungry so the eating would begin! I knew I had about 30 minutes before my partner would get in so I would eat anything and everything as quick as possible bread has always been my biggest enemy. On the days my partner was home first I would find places on way home where I could buy food usually pre packed sandwiches and find somewhere to hide to stuff them in my face as quick as possible. Another trick I found was whilst making lunches for the following day I would eat as much as possible while my partner was in the other room, also at dinner time eating while cooking and eating even more while serving dinner more going in my mouth than on the plates always sneaky .This behavior went on for years to the point where It became normal for me to do it. I didn't realized sometimes I was doing it and the weight piled on. I became more frustrated and angry with myself and instead of sharing my feelings I would eat them away so going into a never ending circle of starving myself until mid afternoon then binging until I had pain in my stomach so much pain that all I could think of was the pain in my stomach and not of how I really felt.

One day I was online AGAIN looking for yet a NEW DIET to follow when I found something about binge eating disorders. I didn't even know it was an eating disorder I thought I was just greedy. So I thought about it for a few days until I stood on the scales AGAIN and had lost nothing AGAIN, I knew it was time I went to my doctor and ask for help.

That is the biggest and best step I have ever taken.

I started therapy and that is were I found out I have problems expressing my feelings & emotions. Whenever I am sad or angry, frustrated I would eat. It is my way of dealing with pain.

I have been in therapy for several years now but that's because of problems I had in my childhood and I don't want to discuss that here.

Through learning what triggers a binge and learning to deal with my own emotions differently,I am getting better sometimes I can go weeks now without a binge. Sometimes I slip up but hey I am human and it's a problem I have had for so many years.

In the last year I have lost 12 kilos (still have another 25 to go) but my main goal is to stop the binging and that is almost under control :)

 

 

 

i can understand why you are so so so so confused by why this is happening with you. up until 5 days ago, i could nOT GET MY HEAD AROUND why ihave been binging on and off for almost 3 years (yep, thats right... on and off, but its been there all along). i have a pretty bad spell with anorexia and i knew thats when it started.

what happened 5 days ago you say? i read Brain Over Binge by Kathryn Hansen. no joke. it explains EVERYTHING. why its so so so so hard to resist the binge when the urge comes, why patterns about when and where you binge build up, why you cant use logic or your own intelligence to overpower a binge. it explains it all. please just buy the book, read it and i promise you you will feel how i feel.

i've been in therapy for 6 months and despite my therapist saying to me time and time again, this is EMOTIONAL, you have unmet emotional needs and you use FOOD to fill that void, the binge eating is CAUSED by your problems. i tried so so so hard to roll with that way of thinking but it just didnt feel 'RIGHT'.

please just look into it, before you go any further down this path. please.

i hope you are well, and good luck! PM me if you want to chat about it any time, trust me i have been there. i have had the most godawful binges that i could have never imagined and if i had of had this binge, i dont want to think how much quicker it would have been for me to get on with my life. please. sending lots of hope your way! xxx

Great thread! I've been a life long binge eater and I'm still struggling. I've lost a lot of weight in the past 10 months and I'm now at a normal weight (With a few vanity lbs to go). I lost the weight (I'm not sure exactly how much probably around 80+lbs) with no cheat days at all and no binges at all. That's par for the course with me though. The trouble comes when I hit slim and the floodgates open. I binge in true binge mode. Nothing's safe. A mist descends and after a battle with myself it's like someone's switched a remote control on me and I've lost control of my actions. Since hitting a healthy weight I've done it 4 times. I feel disgust and Misery and scared that all my hard work will be for nothing. 

However this time I'm working through it. Instead of thinking 'what the hell I've ruined it all I'll just hoover the contents of the fridge now and forever more', I'm able to stop before I quite go pop. Yes I lost control but I'm now taking it back and eating normally and healthily the next day and the day after that. I don't know if I'll ever be able to completely stop bingeing every so often, but if I'm able to at least keep my weight stable (And I will!) I can cope with the odd binge. My dream is never to binge again, but I'm not quite there yet. I know it's emotional. As I'm stuffing the food in I can feel I'm trying to plug something inside. It doesn't work but it does numb and sedate me for a little while at least until the guilt and shame take over and make the hole even bigger!

I've lost all this weight and I look and feel great and I will not let this binge monster ruin my life again. Good luck to all of you who are plagued with it.  xx

Hey guys, awesome responses thank you so much! It's so good to know that I'm not alone when I'm suffering from mindlessly eating everything in my cupboard. I'm going to buy Brain Over Binge right now, thank you ohgodwhat for the suggestion. Hopefully this will help me figure out if I'm emotionally eating or if it's something else maybe. I'm thinking about it now and my binge eating started when I was 11 I think and my family moved from the east to west coasts of the US. It was traumatizing (even though that sounds dramatic) for many reasons, but then I remember I used to eat icecream sandwiches by the couple after school, two bagels, chocolate bars, and candy. (We did not keep these things in my house so this was the first time, at school, that these thing were avaliable for me to buy without my family knowing.) About that time I started hating my body like all teenagers do. 

Anyway not sure about this exploration but I'm going to continue it as it seems to be leading somewhere. We'll see. Thank you for this posts please keep them coming, it's nice to know together that people have gotten in control of their binges as I want to get control of mine. Thanks guys!

Original Post by jacq61:

Great thread! I've been a life long binge eater and I'm still struggling. I've lost a lot of weight in the past 10 months and I'm now at a normal weight (With a few vanity lbs to go). I lost the weight (I'm not sure exactly how much probably around 80+lbs) with no cheat days at all and no binges at all. That's par for the course with me though. The trouble comes when I hit slim and the floodgates open. I binge in true binge mode. Nothing's safe. A mist descends and after a battle with myself it's like someone's switched a remote control on me and I've lost control of my actions. Since hitting a healthy weight I've done it 4 times. I feel disgust and Misery and scared that all my hard work will be for nothing. 

However this time I'm working through it. Instead of thinking 'what the hell I've ruined it all I'll just hoover the contents of the fridge now and forever more', I'm able to stop before I quite go pop. Yes I lost control but I'm now taking it back and eating normally and healthily the next day and the day after that. I don't know if I'll ever be able to completely stop bingeing every so often, but if I'm able to at least keep my weight stable (And I will!) I can cope with the odd binge. My dream is never to binge again, but I'm not quite there yet. I know it's emotional. As I'm stuffing the food in I can feel I'm trying to plug something inside. It doesn't work but it does numb and sedate me for a little while at least until the guilt and shame take over and make the hole even bigger!

I've lost all this weight and I look and feel great and I will not let this binge monster ruin my life again. Good luck to all of you who are plagued with it.  xx

*BUMP** :) (this was my original post, and it doesnt apply so strongly to you as you have really improved (well done you! thats an AMAZING ACHIEVEMENT!), but if your dream is to never binge again, then this is the book for you!:

"i can understand why you are so so so so confused by why this is happening with you. up until 5 days ago, i could nOT GET MY HEAD AROUND why ihave been binging on and off for almost 3 years (yep, thats right... on and off, but its been there all along). i have a pretty bad spell with anorexia and i knew thats when it started.

what happened 5 days ago you say? i read Brain Over Binge by Kathryn Hansen. no joke. it explains EVERYTHING. why its so so so so hard to resist the binge when the urge comes, why patterns about when and where you binge build up, why you cant use logic or your own intelligence to overpower a binge. it explains it all. please just buy the book, read it and i promise you you will feel how i feel.

i've been in therapy for 6 months and despite my therapist saying to me time and time again, this is EMOTIONAL, you have unmet emotional needs and you use FOOD to fill that void, the binge eating is CAUSED by your problems. i tried so so so hard to roll with that way of thinking but it just didnt feel 'RIGHT'.

please just look into it, before you go any further down this path. please.

i hope you are well, and good luck! PM me if you want to chat about it any time, trust me i have been there. i have had the most godawful binges that i could have never imagined and if i had of had this binge, i dont want to think how much quicker it would have been for me to get on with my life. please. sending lots of hope your way! xx"

Original Post by abi6883:

Hey guys, awesome responses thank you so much! It's so good to know that I'm not alone when I'm suffering from mindlessly eating everything in my cupboard. I'm going to buy Brain Over Binge right now, thank you ohgodwhat for the suggestion. Hopefully this will help me figure out if I'm emotionally eating or if it's something else maybe. I'm thinking about it now and my binge eating started when I was 11 I think and my family moved from the east to west coasts of the US. It was traumatizing (even though that sounds dramatic) for many reasons, but then I remember I used to eat icecream sandwiches by the couple after school, two bagels, chocolate bars, and candy. (We did not keep these things in my house so this was the first time, at school, that these thing were avaliable for me to buy without my family knowing.) About that time I started hating my body like all teenagers do. 

Anyway not sure about this exploration but I'm going to continue it as it seems to be leading somewhere. We'll see. Thank you for this posts please keep them coming, it's nice to know together that people have gotten in control of their binges as I want to get control of mine. Thanks guys!

oh i'm so so so so glad that you are going to buy the book! just read it all and evreything will become clear, and you can hold me to that! good luck!! xx

Original Post by ohgodwhat:

Original Post by jacq61:

Great thread! I've been a life long binge eater and I'm still struggling. I've lost a lot of weight in the past 10 months and I'm now at a normal weight (With a few vanity lbs to go). I lost the weight (I'm not sure exactly how much probably around 80+lbs) with no cheat days at all and no binges at all. That's par for the course with me though. The trouble comes when I hit slim and the floodgates open. I binge in true binge mode. Nothing's safe. A mist descends and after a battle with myself it's like someone's switched a remote control on me and I've lost control of my actions. Since hitting a healthy weight I've done it 4 times. I feel disgust and Misery and scared that all my hard work will be for nothing. 

However this time I'm working through it. Instead of thinking 'what the hell I've ruined it all I'll just hoover the contents of the fridge now and forever more', I'm able to stop before I quite go pop. Yes I lost control but I'm now taking it back and eating normally and healthily the next day and the day after that. I don't know if I'll ever be able to completely stop bingeing every so often, but if I'm able to at least keep my weight stable (And I will!) I can cope with the odd binge. My dream is never to binge again, but I'm not quite there yet. I know it's emotional. As I'm stuffing the food in I can feel I'm trying to plug something inside. It doesn't work but it does numb and sedate me for a little while at least until the guilt and shame take over and make the hole even bigger!

I've lost all this weight and I look and feel great and I will not let this binge monster ruin my life again. Good luck to all of you who are plagued with it.  xx

*BUMP** :) (this was my original post, and it doesnt apply so strongly to you as you have really improved (well done you! thats an AMAZING ACHIEVEMENT!), but if your dream is to never binge again, then this is the book for you!:

"i can understand why you are so so so so confused by why this is happening with you. up until 5 days ago, i could nOT GET MY HEAD AROUND why ihave been binging on and off for almost 3 years (yep, thats right... on and off, but its been there all along). i have a pretty bad spell with anorexia and i knew thats when it started.

what happened 5 days ago you say? i read Brain Over Binge by Kathryn Hansen. no joke. it explains EVERYTHING. why its so so so so hard to resist the binge when the urge comes, why patterns about when and where you binge build up, why you cant use logic or your own intelligence to overpower a binge. it explains it all. please just buy the book, read it and i promise you you will feel how i feel.

i've been in therapy for 6 months and despite my therapist saying to me time and time again, this is EMOTIONAL, you have unmet emotional needs and you use FOOD to fill that void, the binge eating is CAUSED by your problems. i tried so so so hard to roll with that way of thinking but it just didnt feel 'RIGHT'.

please just look into it, before you go any further down this path. please.

i hope you are well, and good luck! PM me if you want to chat about it any time, trust me i have been there. i have had the most godawful binges that i could have never imagined and if i had of had this binge, i dont want to think how much quicker it would have been for me to get on with my life. please. sending lots of hope your way! xx"

Thank you! I'll definitely get this book! I'm so glad to hear you've found the answer to your binge behaviour. It's such a strange behaviour that seems to make no sense and to be completely rid of it would be amazing! Take care xxx  ***tootles off to check out book***

Hey guys, I BOUGHT THE BOOK (an e-book, I can't find it anywhere in NZ where I live, but it works fine on my computer) and it is really amazing, I had to force myself to stop reading last night so I could get some sleep. Brain Over Binge is making so much sense it's scary, why are we all so afraid of taking responsibility for anything? I've already started differentiating between my animal brain and my ME brain, it's amazing. Thinking I might buy the original book she read too just to see what it says. I'm only about 1/3 of the way through but so far it is really enlightening. Anyone else have thoughts on this book?? I can't wait to get home and read some more! =) 

I usually fall into the Spongebob "I dont need it" act.

I don't need it... I don't need it... I definitely don't need it. I don't need it. I don't need it. ... ... I NEED IT!!!!!!!!

Huh, I have the same problem. I usualy do good for about a week but then... Yesterday was my 3rd day in a row (binging) and I can't seem to stop it. I wish I could read this book to get some insite of what is happening, but i'm from Slovenia and I can't get it anywhere. I can't even buy it onlyne couse they either don't ship it or they request pay pal.

Original Post by hexana88:

Huh, I have the same problem. I usualy do good for about a week but then... Yesterday was my 3rd day in a row (binging) and I can't seem to stop it. I wish I could read this book to get some insite of what is happening, but i'm from Slovenia and I can't get it anywhere. I can't even buy it onlyne couse they either don't ship it or they request pay pal.

Would this work? http://www.whitcoulls.co.nz/search/brain+over +binge/mediatype/all/type/relaxed/ It's a NZ site but it's a downloadable book. I had to download "Adobe Digital Editions" as well but it was free, and then the site lets you download the book from your "e-library." That worked for me here....It's a really good book, she mentions that once you start listening to your binge voice it's almost comical how it tries to talk you in to eating. We'll see how I go, it's only been 24 hours and I haven't been struck with the real urge yet but I'm actually looking forward to trying the tactics she used. 

Let me know if that site works, it wasn't Paypal it was just my credit card. Good luck! 

Thanks so much!

Thank you so much, Abi, for starting this thread.  I reduced by 39lbs last year by eating sensibly and taking exercise nearly every day.  But since February, the binge monster has taken over - massive binges 2-3 times a week, always late in the evening and to the point where I feel sick but just keep going.  It's utter madness.  Despite the sensible days and continuing exercise, I've now gained 10lbs and feel so very very disappointed.

I can't talk to anyone about this.  My husband would be so lovely if he knew but the shame is just too much.

Some people on here talk about a binge when all they mean is a piece of cake and a bowl of cereal.  Mine consist of anything and everything in huge quantities until I can hardly move.

Many thanks for the suggestion of Brain over Binge - I've read a sample from Amazon and can identify with her description of binges; that could be me (except I'm nearly 55 which somehow makes it even more disgusting - surely I should have learned some self control by now?).  So I've ordered it and it's now on my Kindle PC app for reading this evening.

This is the first time I've acknowledged this openly - thank you.

#18  
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Original Post by sjar560276983:

Some people on here talk about a binge when all they mean is a piece of cake and a bowl of cereal.  Mine consist of anything and everything in huge quantities until I can hardly move.

. . .

This is the first time I've acknowledged this openly - thank you.

I know what you mean about mere overeating being labeled "binging."  I realized after reading Brain Over Binge and some posts on this and other boards, that I'm actually not a binger. I'm just an overeater with some disordered eating habits. Now, mind you, I can definitely consume 2000 calories in a night, but that includes dinner.  I have a massive urge to overeat, but I am selective in what I want, and there's no massive hurry to get it down (although I am a fast eater naturally).  So, I'm not a binger, and I really wish others who would start classifying themselves correctly. When someone says that they "binged" by eating a pint of ice cream, it's somewhat insensitive to those who truly have a binging problem (although the insensitivity may be unintentional).

I'm so sorry about your shame, and I applaud you for sharing your issues here. As you can see, you are not alone. I am ashamed when I overeat, and I've definitely overeaten in private so my husband doesn't know (even though I don't think he cares about that at all), so I can understand you not wanting to share this problem with your husband.

Good luck to you!

Before I changed my lifestyle, I was an emotional binge eater (boredom, sadness, blahblah). I usually binged on sugary foods: cereal, candy, bread, etc. I didn't know anything about calories back then, but I could easily finish off a loaf of bread and a jar of Nutella for a snack without feeling *that* sick.

While dieting, I still binged [2-4k calorie range, eaten within an hour], but my binges were different.... weird- raw butter, whipped cream, jam, sweetened cocoa powder, dry bread crumbs, milk and honey were my binge staples. After a while I've seen a predictable pattern and I can say that reasons for overeating were mostly physiological- binges occurred after a few consecutive days of low fat intake and/or low carb intake [I'm quite active] and/or low calorie intake and/or not enough sleep with lots of stress. 

Switching to maintenance, binges still happened, though much much less severe and once I started paying attention to how I feel I realized I could 'predict' a binge a few days before it happened. Again, it was usually not enough fat/carbs/sleep.

I don't binge anymore, but I still overeat every now and then- good food and surrounded by friends, not hunched over the sink eating butter by the tablespoon. 

My advice would be: check your macros, get enough sleep, consider eating more on workout days or at least eat 'real maintenance calories' once or twice a week. Give your body a break, being in a constant caloric deficit is stressful. ^^ 

Hy guys, glad this thread is getting some stories, that was the whole point! I am finding it difficult to read some people's day complete posts now since so many people says they "feel disgusting, ate sooo much tonight" when their calorie total is something like 1800. That book clued me in that I wasn't an anorexic and wasn't really bulimic, (although I did exercise like crazy the day after a binge) but that I DID have some issues surrounding my eating - 5000 calories in a day is not healthy, even though even that is less than a lot some people binge. But I was feeling so sad and down that I my weight was trending back up (after losing 25 pounds) and I was seemingly powerless to stop it. No matter what I did, what I told myself, I had started bingeing twice a week. 

The book is nice (I'm going to keep plugging it!) because it helped ME realize that I was not a freak, I wasn't having huge "emotional issues" or trying to use food to fill some hole (I have stress in my life, don't get me wrong) I was just letting my brain get carried away in convincing me that I WAS really starving, literally starving, and I had to eat NOW, and LOTS, in order to survive. As she says over and over again, "my binges were triggered by my urges to binge." Not some other "deeper" issue.

Anyway, I can't wait for some of you to read it and tell me what you think. I've only been reading it for a few days (I keep having to reread chapters because I can't believe it coud be so simple) but I already feel so much more in control.  

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