Hello, I have been on CC for about 2 and a half years. I've gone up and down on weight, even finally reaching my goal in May! But I have lost track of myself since then, and I want to get back on track TODAY. I've been part of lots of groups and they start out great but then people eventually stop showing up. I know I need more consistent and frequent motivation than that, so for THIS group, I want to check in EVERY DAY. That means a daily weigh in and update on how we're doing, highs and lows, etc. I'm sure there are at least one or two others out there who could use this kind of structure. Can't wait to meet you!
Monday July 12th-- 142.6 lbs
Where I'm at: After finally FINALLY reaching my goal of 135 in late May, I have really been slacking in every sense so it's no wonder I put 7.6 lbs back on. I know some of it will be water weight cause I've been eating a lot of processed food and not drinking enough water, so hopefully I can drop a few of those pounds fast.
The plan: Today I am going to drink TONS of water and eat only whole foods. Also going to take both dogs on nice long walks and hit the 4 pm weight lifting class which I love. I want to continue this plan through the week... going camping Sunday-Wednesday so I need to lock these new habits in before I'm in the woods with nothing to do but eat and nap.
I have a few minutes before I'm off to Deadwood for our bout. I was at 132 :P this morning. Darn Pizza anyways. I'm totally planning on burning it off today.
Wish me luck!
Good Morning. Another Sunday already (remember "Pleasant Valley Sunday"? Monkees? They did do some good songs).
Well I was diligent about reminding my self that I was still on track for weight loss yesterday. I have been on this program since June 11. Now from where I am sitting, mid-winter, that can seem like a long time. But in truth, it is really only a little over half a year. Which, considering all those years of over eating and drinking and carrying around some vague wish of maybe doing something about it someday...this is real progress. Guess someone pressed the rewind button this am: I remember watching tv in the basement of my family's home; drinking some beers, smoking lots of Salems, eating anything that was not tied down or still breathing. I was 18, and I was watching "Kung Fu" (with the late David Carradine) and I was thinking about "discipline, Grasshopper", and how that word and I had yet to come to terms. But, clearly, I remember thinking back then, how great it would be to be in perfect shape: mentally, physically, and (always the most important to me)spiritually. I was a long way from understanding the simple but critical idea of the attainable progress vs. the dreamed of, non exsistant, perfection. Like so many others of my generation and my society, I wanted it all and I wanted it right then. So much for wanting...now I "get it".
I dropped a lot of the "water or whatever weight gain" fro the past few days. I take strong meds. I am in the habit of running out a week early(last month it seems like I ran out 3 weeks early, still can not figure that one out). Anyway I inevitably go thru a week of "being sick", withdrawals and a return to "pain". When I get my new script, I usually repeat the same process over and over, and have done it for several years now. So, the first few days of having the relief that the meds seem to give me include a lot of extra doses, to catch up. When I was younger, yes, back in the "Kung Fu years, my dual addiction to whiskey and barbs landed me in the hospital on more than one occasion. And I am sure had me scratching at Death's Door several times, fortunately, for me, my future children and possibly a bunch of other folks, Death was either preoccupied or my scratchings were to soft for Him to notice. Why did I do this? Because honestly, I was breaking hearts as I continued and it did not seem to matter. I am still exploring the reasons. I can say this much, that several years ago my older sister and my mother sat me down and informed me that my father, a doctor, had deliberately left the possibly lethal medications out for me. It had never crossed my mind. I figured I was really super lucky that he did not seem to notice that I could take 75 of the 100 or so High Powered preoperative meds he left loose in the "drawer". He never said a word. Apparently, and this is what I had to be told, smart as I like to think I am, he was waiting for me to take a fatal overdose, he knew about the whiskey (actually, to be fair, he had the same weakness, just more control). What eventually stopped it all was the fact that he had been, after probably my 6th overdose,called before the hospital board and told that if I were to present myself at the ER with the same loads of poison I had been coming in on, they would do all they could to take his pharmacy license away. That dried up my supply, and probably scared him pretty good because by then I would continue a pattern of self destructive acts that continued for years.
Why am I talking about this, to you all, in this forum? Couple reasons. In general, I absolutely believe that we do not develop self destructive or self limiting behaviors in a vacuum. And I truly believe that overeating and under eating are self destructive activities. Few of us truly overcome the pasts that brought us to the present. The fact that some of us do! Is to me a miracle and has a tremendous power to give the blessing of HOPE to everyone else.
Also, to finish what I was telling you about the pain meds and weight gain and the insanity of my behavior...I have a a choice, take the meds, or go thru major back surgery. I would like to avoid that surgery as long as I possibly can. There is no guarantee it would work for one thing and for another there is an absolute reality of 6 months or more of recovery time. Also, as I loose weight and move more, I up the chances of healing well. Admitting you have a problem is the first and hardest step one has to take in order to face it. To admit to you the reason my weight fluctuates so is that step for me. And while I will always have a weakness for the pain meds, just like I do for the alcohol, there are things I can do to help myself. One of them, and the one I have chosen, amazingly enough (not really that amazing) came from here. And it is the importance of Awareness: until I became aware and began to track exactly what I was eating, I could not lose weight. As a matter of fact, it was looking like the harder I "tried" the more I was gaining! So from all of you, I have gained the awareness and discipline to do what needs to be done consistently in order for me to recover my self. Thank you. I got myself on of the dreaded pill caddies and parcel out my meds, so I know exactly what and how much I am taking. Seeing and feeling that 10 pound gain was a real wake up call. Sharing my story, telling a difficult truth, is a powerful thing as well. After this, it will be much harder to make excuses..much easier to tell the truth. And what is it our Western Bible says: "The Truth will set you Free".
Demanda: Good Luck. I am sooo glad I will not be the Skater in front of you when you come around that corner!!!
Good morning all not a bad week but I can always do better I'm going to try a water aerobics class until I can get back to my walking hopefully that will motivate me into getting out more;going a bit shack wacky.
damanda; Good luck and give;em a shove for me.
Cher.. Your story inspired me this morning.. Thank you!
Off to work I go ;0)
2012- you are definitely worth it!!!
So I am up to 206 this morning, from 203. Sucks, but me and the hubby got into the beer last night, then decided it would be smart to order pizza. Ugh! Oh, well, I am worth it too, and I'm going to do better today!!
eeyore - it's good to be human. Life would be so boring if we never made mistakes. Those I've made, and they are multifarious, have either been the most ecstatic or the most devastating in my life. I try to follow a Buddhist philosophy (I'm not good enough to call myself a true Buddhist) but the middle path, whilst safe, can ultimately limit experience. Be naughty now and again and experience joy, even if you have to suffer for it later.
We're off to Paris tomorrow morning and already my anxiety level is high. I've done everything I can to temper these feelings of fear and really hope that I can survive the journey without panic attacks. In the end, all I have to do is get on and off a train! I've been practising EMT for the last two days, tapping like fury to calm myself. I must say, it does seem to have some effect. Off now to do some meditation. I really want this trip to be trouble free, so that my dear husband can have a well-deserved break.
This post makes me sound like some sort of freak but I assure you, if you met me, you would think I'm the most balanced person in the world - organised, efficient and capable. And the truth is as you know it.....
Have a great week everyone.
Still 151. Ate like a little banshee yesterday :)
We lost :( 143 to 89. But it was a great game. They were hitting hard and so were we. I didn't weigh this morning. To scared to see what the scale might say after a night of eating Subway and drinking Rum + diet coke. I might step back on tomorrow.
159.4 - Not too bad considering I am at the end of the weekend... I really just need to kick myself and get going... I have been maintaining for over a month now, and again for the millionth time, ready to get going. I am going to be in a wedding in almost 4 months, and want to look my best!!
189 (not on my normal scale) After a week long plateau :-(
Worked out with weights and cardio for an hour and budgeted for a cheat for a birthday party and still stayed within my calories.
Have a great night. And see you tomorrow.
Good Morning. It is a quiet morning. Still dark out, but today is the last day of January so a couple more months and we return to Spring. It is going to be so nice to fit into some of my Spring dresses which up until now, served basically as motivators!
This all makes me think of being a little girl. I have 5 brothers and sisters, and that first "warm" day on our return from school, mum would get the Spring Clothing boxes down and the fun would begin...the big question being, who would fit into what this season? I remember how wonderful it was to slip into bed that first night, clothed in light cool cotton. I wasn't heavy back then. But I was very active! Pretty much running, from the moment I was released into the yard until I had to come in at dusk. It would be so nice to do something similar to that this spring. Realistically...well, who knows? I have my big hi-rubber boots and the dog and I are ready to walk some streams soon. Love and always have loved the beauty of nature. I think many, many times, the sweet smell of lilacs and the shade cast by the wonderful trees around my, gave me a strength that has never failed me.
mood: pale blue
Today I will continue to slowly and surely "win" this race.
Brandi - new? welcome!
amie - maintenance is also good:)
damanda - glad you had a good time!
georgi - sending good vibes for you today
eeyore - beer and pizza night with the hubby - worth it!
mine - roller coasters are us!
shifty - water aerobics is fun - enjoy!
Christine - we are with you on your journey
So this weekend I had pretty much whatever I wanted. TOM came calling and I answered the door with a big bag o sugar in hand :) Today back to a clean eating week. I am not down on myself for my indulgances at all. Funny that this morning I was looking forward to a nice bowl of oatmeal.
Still at 151 today (which I think is great due to weekend eating and TOM!)
just caught up on all the posts - whew! busy weekend and couldn't check in - was only two days but feels like forever
not sure what's going on anymore - 140.6 today - I'm being really good but I'm going up instead of down - it's TOM and I am very bloated (never felt this bloated before) - I hope that's why I'm up
I'm frustrated but I am NOT quitting - I will never quit! I think I have to change something - going to try lowering my calories and see if that works
btw - nobody in our group is allowed to quit...EVER EVER EVER...new rule, k?
run - I love your new rule.
I'm up a bit more today -- 133.4. So I'm getting back to healthy this week. Lots of veggies and salad. I'm an NOT going to eat out all week - I will cook yummy healthy food for my family instead.
Hope that everyone has a Great Monday!
@damand - yay for veggies. i'd love to join you on the not eating out, but as my stepson is still in the hospital i'm not sure what the week will bring.
today's weigth: 172.2
saw 170 recently so i'm hoping to flush out some water retention today and get down into the 160s this week.
138.2 Yesterday - just didn't get to post TODAY on the other hand was 139.8!! I've at least started to see what I'm doing or NOT doing on the weekends. It's more not doing! NOT getting in my water & NOT measuring or even counting the calories with my food intake. :0( Yesterday I saw that number & just went stupid I guess :0(
@run - with you on the new rule! Keep your chin up we will get past this!! :0)
Onto a bigger and BETTER Monday!
Happy Scales! :0)
160.0 - Ugh... I think I am just supposed to stay right around 160... I just don't seem to have the drive to change my lifestyle... I suppose my husband getting out the chips and salsa last night at 1130 might not have been the best thing in the world.
- Day 65 - 12/18/11 - 199.5
Day 68 - 12/27/11 - No weigh-in
Day 69 - 12/28/11 - No weigh-in
Day 70 - 12/29/11 - No weigh-in
- Day 74 - 1/10 - 199.7
- Day 75 - 1/11 - 199.7
- Day 76 - 1/12 - 199.6
- Day 77 - 1/16 - 199.4
- Day 80 - 1/19 - 199.4
- Day 82 - 1/21 - 199.9
- Day 84 - 1/22 - 199.4
- Day 85 - 1/23 - 198.9
- Day 86 - 1/24 - 198.4
- Day 87 - 1/25 - 198.1
- Day 88 - 1/30 - 196.8