Family Support (or lack thereof)

I know this has been addressed prior on these boards, but not recently. 

My physician is VERY into wellness and prevention.  I went in for a check-up 2 months ago and said I would like to lose about 30 pounds.  Without sugar-coating his words, he said, "You need to lose 20.  Concentrate on that right now.  Your waist is over 34", you have a significant family history of major health problems and honestly? you are a ticking time bomb."

I was not obese at that point (BMI=28) but I was getting close!  My family (siblings, parents, grandparents) are all overweight, some are obese.  But I hear, "What?  Why are YOU dieting?  You are not fat.  Who told you that?" 

My thought is, "Why wait until AFTER I become a diabetic, have a heart-attack or a stroke?  I need to change.

Bottom line?  What do you say at family dinners, picnics and BBQ's?  I really understand my parents feel they are expressing how much they love us with all of the food. (typical mid-western fare without a non-fried veggie or fruit outside of a sugar/fat-laden dessert)  I often hear, "This food was good enough while you were growing up."

How do YOU explain to friends and family that we are learning more everyday about how a diet of soda, chips, etc. is just plain unhealthy?

How do you bring healthier dishes to family dinners without insulting people? 

I feel I cannot possibly be the only person who deals with this?  I love my family dearly but I am sad that they seem unwilling to be educated on better food choices. 

 

My advice is do what you need to do for YOU and do not preach to them. The less you make an issue of it, the less if an issue it will be for them. They may feel threatened by your healthy eating bc it challenges their habits and makes them feel uncomfortable but just avoid preaching and eat what you feel good about. Bring healthy dishes but don't push them to eat them too.

They sound very loving and your happiness with your own healthy ways will be good for them to see. Beacause they want you to be happy and because they are on their own journeys and we all need to see people doing well to motivate us to do the right things.

You are not serving them by joining them!

Good for you, Gina!  It's great that you are interested in improving your health and planning for a healthy future.  I agree with the previous poster, there is nothing that you can do about your family.  They will probably feel free to make comments as long as they see that their comments have some impact on you.  I think the best approach is to fly under the radar so to speak and not talk about what you are eating - call it healthy avoidance.  When they ask you to indulge, you can tell them that you have already had some and it was delicious.  When you bring something healthy to the gathering, you can tell them that you are experimenting with new recipes and cooking techniques.  When they tell you that you are not overweight and you don't need to lose, you can smile and thank them and tell them that you love them too. 

The hardest thing to deal with is a lack of familial support.  There are a lot of articles that talk about how success in changing eating habits relies to some extent on the support of the people around you.  Since you don't have that right now you are going to have to go it alone and buck the opposition (until they get tired of the subject) or surround yourself with some supportive friends. 

You can always come here!!

Good luck!