Motivation
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Feeling like I've reached the "Too late" stage..


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Hi there,

I am currently 27 and I feel like I've reached the "too late" stage.  Today I'm at my heaviest, which I can only assume is around 550lbs.  I'm only guessing because I can't find a scale to weigh myself in, and last time I weighed in about a year ago I was about 510lbs.  I've been heavy all my life, but I've finally reached the point where I just feel like there's no going back.  I live a pretty simple life.  I have an office job (that doesn't help with things) downtown, and pretty much the only exercise I get is walking the 3-4 blocks through the mall to get to my office.  Even then, I find myself taking breaks to rest and absolutely breathless by the time I plunk down into my chair.  Everything hurts.. my back, my feet, my knees, my legs... and even walking for short amounts of time cause me to feel alot of pain.  Standing still is even worse.  I can't stand in a line up because my back will start to ache.  Simple tasks are so difficult for me.  Even going to the bathroom and showering is has gotten difficult to reach those spots where I just can't twist my body enough without ending up with a painful cramp somewhere.  I get cramps very easily, sometimes in places I have no idea could cramp and no idea how to stretch out to ease the pain, so I just sit still until it stops aching.  I have severe Edema in my legs.. it causes my inner thighs to bulge out to the size of volleyballs and boy is it hard to walk like that.  Even my feet are swollen so sliding on my shoes is getting harder and harder.  Mentally, I've become afraid of everything.  I have poor balance and so this causes me to avoid embarrassing situations like escalators, potentially icy walks, stairs... Everything is based on my size.  I won't go places I'm unfamiliar with because I'm afraid my butt won't fit in the chair or there might be a stair case I can't climb.  I pay for convenience... I find it too painful and too hard to get groceries or even buy my own lunch most times. I bribe my co-workers and friends to do these tasks for me.  I have very supportive friends, family and a boyfriend.  I have one friend who tries very hard to understand the daily struggles I have and does alot of my chores/running around for me.  Thank God for him, but I think at the same time, his help also hinders my situation.  My family all nag on me to lose weight.. sometimes I wish they could understand that I want to but mentally and physically don't really know how.  Here are some of the challenges I face:

- finding effective exercise that isn't painful

- counting calories.. I dont really know how and when I use tools to help, there are alot of asian foods I eat that I dont know how to customize into the tools

- confidence

- wellness - seems like everytime I try to increase activity, I end up sick...lots of coughing and headaches

- equipment - trying to find equipment that will support my weight

- motivation - i can't weigh myself, so how do i know it's working?

- mental - i always give myself what i want to make myself happy.. but this also results in poor choices like soda, salty snacks, fast food etc.

 

Can anybody relate to this?  Perhaps shed some light?  I want to lose weight and start gaining more energy!

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#1  
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It's not too late.  You're only 27.  You could be normal weight in your 30s if you start now. 

I can't imagine how difficult your daily life must be.  I lost 90 pounds, but I know that your situation is more difficult. 

If I were you, I would start with healthy eating, and not worry about exercise for now.  After you lose some weight, it will be easier to exercise, and I would guess that most of your body pains will lessen and eventually disappear with weight loss.

You said that you don't know how to lose weight, but I think you'll find all the tools you need on this site.  Other posters will probably give you advice on calorie intake and foods etc.  I just wanted to address your feeling that it's too late or too difficult to achieve weight loss.  You can do it!

I think that a lot of people are mistaken about finding motivation.  By beginning a weight-loss diet and finding that your clothes are looser, that will give you confidence in your abilities, and further motivation to continue.  I don't think that motivation is something that you can "find".  It's something that comes from within; in this case by doing something positive for yourself.

 

 

#2  
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Do not despair. The stuff you do in your real life *is* exercise. If getting around, doing daily things is getting you breathless, that is because it is hard work. Instead of looking for specific exercises, maybe it would help if you did the daily activities that don't cause you pain. Exertion shouldn't mean pain, but you should try to move around as much as possible. If walking hurts, can you do something with your arms? Can you get on and off a sturdy chair several times, for example?

Remember that the more you have to lose, the quicker it will come off at first. Even a bit of change may make you feel much better.

Stop buying the soda, salty snacks and fast food. Not having them around is probably the first step. You know what a healthy diet looks like. Lots of vegetables, some fruit, wholegrains, lean meats and a lot less fat.

Good luck!

Never too late. First you should check with a doctor to make sure you're capable of more exercise and a recommended diet. Any movement/exercise more than what you do today will start burning more calories. Such as a simple walk. Your walk to the office may be painful and difficult but try going a bit farther each week. Little by little you'll work up to a longer distance and your body will adjust. At the same time start eating very healthy meals throughout the day. Regular meals of all healthy foods with a normal calorie intake. Eventually the weight will start to drop and the walking will get easier. As far as weighing yourself.....keep trying a standard scale until one day you see the weight drop below the max of the scale.....that will be  a major milestone and should encourage you more. It takes time but sticking to it pays off. I had to lose 50 lbs and did within 2 years by doing what I describe above. Read all the postings here for encouragement as well as the "expert" postings of advice.

it's not too late AT ALL. trust me, my neighbor was well into her forties when she lost 100+ pounds.

micket53 is right, the first thing you should do is talk this out with your doctor! go over all the exercises you can begin with and slowly progress from there. it's honestly never too late to start. what's the other alternative anyway? you have to give this a shot!

& you don't need to make ALL the changes at once. honestly, what helped me was making small changes at a time. my biggest change was switching to a healthier breakfast. it really motivated me to continue to eat healthy for the rest of the day! so even finding small things like that, just to start a new lifestyle might do wonders for you.

good luck & don't give up!

I second (third, forth, fifth?) all of the above.  See a doctor about what exercises you can safely do, use the tools here or other online tools to determine what a good calorie level is for you, and start making small changes. 

Small changes are key, imo.  People who try to change too many things too quickly also tend to burn out and give up pretty quickly.  But a few small changes at a time are easier to bear and they slowly add up.

Recognising the need to change is the first step. As everyone has said, 27 is in no way too late. 

To begin with, because you have so much to lose, small changes will have big effects. For three days, write down every single food you eat. If it is an asian food without data on here, look on the packet to see if there is nutritional info, or try and calculate it individually - break down what you're eating into noodles, sauce, extras, and log them each separately.  Speak to your doctor about weight loss, and ask him to set some calorie targets. Your BMR (the calories you'd burn by staying in bed all day) is 3277, so even if you ate this with limited exercise, you would lose some weight. 

Exercise wise, could you try breaking up the amount of walking you do? The walk to work and back is great, could you also maybe add in a short walk around the block at lunchtime, and another walk around the block after work? As the weight falls off, it will get easier. 

For some extra motivation, definitely check out some of the success stories on here! Also, check out some weight loss blogs - one that immediately came to mind was skinny emmie (http://skinnyemmie.com/), who's in her 20s, and has lost almost 100lbs so far, going from a starting weight of 455. Or Stephen (http://www.whoatemyblog.com/) who's gone from 632lbs to 482. All very inspiring, and proof that it CAN be done!

It's not too late! I'm not too sure where you live but you should talk to your doctor because I know in my area they have a free program on referral of your doctor that provides free support of a dietician who can help you get ready mentally and help you get started with a healthier diet. There is also a program where you get a free gym membership (this is in Canada btw but still in the US I would think you would access to a free dietician)

alicandra is right when she says small changes will have BIG effects, even cutting soda out of your diet entirely will have a huge effect....cut out your friends helping you little by little

But first things first...talk to your doctor for the support you need

 

Good Luck...and I hope you find the determination you need

You shouldn't feel alone or scared. Your only 27 years old and you realized that you need to change and thats a GREAT start.
You should go to a doctor first so he can measure your levels like cholesterol, trigs, etc etc
I know some people that are heavy their whole life and they don't care about it and they should!!
Anyways for every single pound that you lose your going to feel a sense of accomplishment. Even if you lose a pound a week don't give up! Think about your future and keep a diary so you will remember the hard days and the good days.
I hope you can reach your goal and if you feel like you want to give up DON'T!

Lots of love

Barbara

Original Post by glindas:

It's not too late.  You're only 27.  You could be normal weight in your 30s if you start now. 

I can't imagine how difficult your daily life must be.  I lost 90 pounds, but I know that your situation is more difficult. 

If I were you, I would start with healthy eating, and not worry about exercise for now.  After you lose some weight, it will be easier to exercise, and I would guess that most of your body pains will lessen and eventually disappear with weight loss.

You said that you don't know how to lose weight, but I think you'll find all the tools you need on this site.  Other posters will probably give you advice on calorie intake and foods etc.  I just wanted to address your feeling that it's too late or too difficult to achieve weight loss.  You can do it!

I think that a lot of people are mistaken about finding motivation.  By beginning a weight-loss diet and finding that your clothes are looser, that will give you confidence in your abilities, and further motivation to continue.  I don't think that motivation is something that you can "find".  It's something that comes from within; in this case by doing something positive for yourself.

 

 

 Motivation is the part of your soul that truly wants to change~Bob Harper

I too think you should focus on healthy eating for now and with the weight loss you will be able to do more exercise.   Stay away from fast food places.  Pack your lunch for work, make grocery lists for those friends that shop for you.  It's not too late!!  It's NEVER too late!  You can do this!  Take things one day at a time,  do  not look at the big picture, look at the day you are in, make good choices for that day.  Good luck.

It's never too late!!  Dont' EVER give up on yourself.  There is a very inspirational success story on the CC blog. The tittle is " I chose to live and lost 227 lbs."  Please, please read it!! This website is very helpful, explore all the blogs and advice.

Also, you could try water fitness, just walking in the pool is great exercice and does not put stress on your joints.  Buy youself a wok and make some Asian food yourself, that way you "know" what you are eating.  Stop looking at food as a pathway to happiness. Instead of rewarding yourself with food, give yourself another treat such as a manicure, or buy a CD or any other enjoyment that is not food. You will know that it is working when your clothes feel looser and you feel better. 

I hope you too choose to live ! It may not be easy but it is worthwhile.

I read an Ann Landers once where a woman at 60 found herself a widow and couldnt afford to survive alone. Her family encouraged her to go back to school. She told Ann Landers it was too late for her, and how on earth could a 60 year old go back to school. Ann Landers replied "In four years you will be 64, with or without an education." 

Set up your daily meals for a week and stick with it! This will be what you eat for your life! At least the first year. Then you can re evaluate your next plan.

For you my dear, it is never too late, the fact that you are here, means that you have started already. First, see a doctor before you start anything strenuous. At 27 you should be healthy enough to start. They can also weigh you, you should know so when you lose your first lbs, you can brag about how much you've lost and far you've come. MOVE MOVE MOVE! Arms, legs, everything. Use water bottles filled with water or canned goods for hand weights.

Richard Simmons, and the biggest loser, know how to begin exercise for your size. So start careful, maybe you can find this information from their sites. You CAN do it, as many of us here have!

You have all of us for support! Write often! Let us know how you are doing.

Do you have medical insurance?  Can you see a doctor/nutritionist?  Whatever you do, please do not buy into the Biggest Loser method.

If you don't know the calories in the foods that you do eat I suggest starting to cook your own foods.  Groceries you may be able to find a source online or get a friend to do your shopping for you.  Frozen dinners are good in that they give you the number of calories so you don't have to calculate them and guesstimate.

The first step is finding how much it takes for your body to function without gaining or losing weight.  Age, weight, height and gender all play apart in this. You can use the tools on CC to find out what your regular burn is.  Then you need to start eating 500-1000 calories less than that per day.  Unfortunately the average person thinks that the only way to lose weight is a starvation diet or to eliminate food groups and that simply isn't true.

You can find simple substitutions for the stuff that you already eat or revamp your diet one meal/snack at a time.  If you go with convenience foods then you will have to find out how many calories are in them.  It's kind of like budgeting money...you either to have make trade offs or save up.

I highly recommend brown rice or other whole grains (you can add slivered nuts or citrus zest or herbs to spice it up).  Frozen vegetables are a great way to add nutrients and to fill you up.  Also lean proteins so rice and beans, lean cuts of meat, low fat dairy, eggs, etc.

What do you currently eat on a regular day?  What dietary or time constraints do you have?

Did you know that diet is more important in losing weight than exercise?  This is not to say that you shouldn't get some exercise, but when you're starting to lose weight what you eat and how much you eat factors in much more than how much you sweat.

There’s a group on here where you may find some help & support for people 300+ lbs. Good luck & it’s never too late.

http://caloriecount.about.com/club-g1235

Nancy Makin story on how she lost 530 lbs without surgery.

http://nancymakin.com/

And the story of how Smith lost more than 400 pounds in just 26 months without gastric bypass surgery is the subject of a TLC documentary. It’s called “The 650-pound Virgin,”

 http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/31845266

I think everything is already said. You CAN do it! It´s never too late.

 

Good luck!!! :)

It is never never too late!  I highly advise you to see your doctor to talk about what kind of plan will be best for you, exercise ect. You can do this, remember sometimes you need to take baby steps.  You have realized you need to do something, and though it might seem overwhelming you are capable of being the healthy young person you desire to be.

One of my favorite quotes I use for motivation :"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase.
Martin Luther King, Jr.

We're the one who really can help ourselves. If we want to succeed, don't ever give up. Be positive. It's never too late. Perhaps you can take the advices from friends here to succeed. Let's do it !

Thank you everybody for your kind words and replies.  I wanted to point out that when I said "too late" i meant because I felt I reached a stage where I crossed the line on my weight and not my age.. I know I'm a young girl.  Reading all your responses brought tears to my eyes.  Finally.. people who understand... who have HELPFUL advice and don't shrug off the little changes.  It's such a relief to know there are people there who were like me once and got through it...that it's NOT too late and that even the little changes have big results.

 

The other day while I was walking from my car to my office, I thought of some of the responses I read here.  I skipped two of my spots to rest and sat down in my office chair feeling great.  I went for an extra walk at lunch and only stopped to rest once on the walk back to my car.  It was such a small difference but put a big smile on my face when I got home.

 

I'm thinking of starting a blog in the new year.. I would appreciate if some of you would subscribe and follow me in my journey. I will post the link here once it's created.


Thank you again everybody.

Original Post by hisana:

Thank you everybody for your kind words and replies.  I wanted to point out that when I said "too late" i meant because I felt I reached a stage where I crossed the line on my weight and not my age.. I know I'm a young girl.  Reading all your responses brought tears to my eyes.  Finally.. people who understand... who have HELPFUL advice and don't shrug off the little changes.  It's such a relief to know there are people there who were like me once and got through it...that it's NOT too late and that even the little changes have big results.

 

The other day while I was walking from my car to my office, I thought of some of the responses I read here.  I skipped two of my spots to rest and sat down in my office chair feeling great.  I went for an extra walk at lunch and only stopped to rest once on the walk back to my car.  It was such a small difference but put a big smile on my face when I got home.

 

I'm thinking of starting a blog in the new year.. I would appreciate if some of you would subscribe and follow me in my journey. I will post the link here once it's created.


Thank you again everybody.

There will never be a shortage of support for you here. And congrats on those great decisions!

Also, if you start a blog, count me as one subscriber Smile

It is not too late.  As everyone here has pointed out there are great tools here to help you.  Take advantage of the support group for the 300+ people.  They are going to understand your situation better than others.  You may not be able to start off fast, but do start.  It will be the best decision you have ever made.

I just wanted to say, GREAT JOB on pushing yourself! Remember there will be times you may fail or not do as good as you wanted whether is be with exercise or diet, but remember, JUST KEEP GOING!

You have my full support and the best wishes! Please post where your blog will be, and if you ever need any encouraging words, just message anyone. :)

*high five*

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