"Friends" getting in the way of my transition

I just started my journey about a week ago and I've gotten a tremendous amount of support from some of my friends.  Then there are the "friends".  The ones that come by my desk with breakfast tacos and ask again when I say no the first time.  Or say things like, "Can't you just have ONE cookie?"  or "It's a celebration, this cake doesn't count."  The first offer is just polite.  I mean, I don't want them to act like I don't exist anymore.  But when I exercise my will power, they push.  Has anyone else had this happen?  How do you deal with it?

Change the subject.

It's completely normal behavior (people offering food) and it's unlikely they are trying to be anything other than polite. You're the one making healthier choices, you'll just need to change your perspective and get over it (I say this lovingly).

I hate the "I'm on a diet" line because you open the door to friendly suggestions which you may not want to hear... Practice saying "no, thank you." followed by;
"I just had breakfast/lunch/treat..."
"I'm not hungry"
"I don't want to spoil my appetite... I brought (something delicious) for lunch"
"I'm trying to eat healthier"

Good luck!

No thank you is the first choice, you may have to say it a couple of times.  I've followed it by "doctor's orders" also, that helps sometimes. 

My mom is the worst for pushing food - and her cookies are the best ever - I have to get really blunt, as in I'm not going to eat that.

At work, a lot of the girls are overweight. One even told me not to bother when I said I was going to bring in a healthy snack for my bday rather than a cake. how rude!

What I say is "thanks I saw that there but I'm Ok right now, maybe later" (haha.... they don't know you won't have it later) or just no thanks.

If they get pushy then I say "its not on my nutrition plan and I don't want to compromise it so I am not interested" or "I've already lost 10 pounds, why would I blow it now?" Its a little ruder but sometimes you gotta be rude. I notice its not the weight-loss supportive people that do this, so they can only be jealous.

I have also hid in my office from them lol!!

Anyways after a week or so of being super-**** about it, people started leaving me alone.

And don't be shy to maybe read the nutritional on the treat first and say something like "oh, this won't be good for my blood sugar, I can't have it" (trust me, I can pull that one off at 140 lbs) or ask if someone will split a slice with you too.

Also whenever we go out to eat, I always ask the waiter for the nutritional brochure and pick my food from there. If you stick to your guns eventually they will get bored of tryng to break you.

OK - I sound like I'm in a war or something, which I guess I am since I do not want to fill up my office chair lol

Moms - they are just trying to be moms lol. Same goes for grandmas. They can't help it. But be firm with them too if you have to.

Simply respond with "No thanks." To. Everything.

"Would you like a cookie?" "No thanks."

"Can't you just have ONE cookie?" "No thanks."

"It's a celebration, this cookie doesn't count." "No thanks."

No thought required, isn't that easy?  People learn real fast when they realize that you aren't going to have a real conversation about it.  Also, I don't go into specifics.  I don't want to get comments about 'dieting' when I'm eating pizza or other non 'diet foods.' 

My friends always want to party and i'm a big lush... peer pressure is a pull rather than a push...

 

If they are a friend, you are not going to offend them by saying no. If they are a friend, they will support you.

But, when it comes to work parties, Potlucks, Cake, and going out to lunch. I find explaining that i am full usually works. If it is something that i do want Ill eat it, i will log it (or log something similar.) then that evening i will plan my dinner and exercise accordingly. Going for a bike ride or a run for an hour will certainly burn off any small piece of cake you had with lunch at work.

I have a real problem with people, it is like they feel guilty so they do not want you to be successful. Misery loves company. I have skin problems so I finally said that the skin specialist said no sugar no wheat for 6 weeks and they left me alone. Then I did do no sugar no wheat for 6 weeks because I said I had to and my skin did do better so I kept it up for 3 months. Then I got caught eating a chicken wrap(healthy) and someone said to me that has wheat in it, so I said the doctor said to try and put small amounts of wheat back into my diet so it is okay. I know lying isn't right but everyday people were bringing cookies and cake and it was getting harder to say no,now they leave me alone.

I am always amazed by how people feel the need to comment and supervise other people's eating, like pmonthome just described. I believe that no one has the right to do that and I rarely explain myself, and if you never allow it, people do seem to stop asking.

I've often had problems with people making negative comments about my eating and wonder why anyone would even be watching what I eat. Generally, they imply that I'm becoming obsessive about dieting, as if it were a character flaw, or that focusing on my health is somehow vain, but I think it's because my being mindful of what I eat makes them feel guilty. It's not my problem if they don't care as much about their own health, and I remind myself that I do not need to eat for anyone else. That has helped me resist the social pressure to indulge in something that will make me feel terrible later.

I do some volunteer work at a venue for the multicultural community and a big part of the ethnic lifestyle is Food! The staff want to share their food with one another, plus they have different cultural luncheons once a month. I think its kind of nice they wish to share their delicious cultural dishes with each other... its so easy to put weight on at work though! 

However, since I have been 'dieting', I've had to say "no thanks" and the staff at work say "oh its only once a month Penny. This won't hurt". They forget that during the week/month I've probably been to a few birthday parties or other social events too and that all adds to the diet.

I know the staff at work aren't trying to get at me or are jealous, etc its just part of their culture and want to include me in their celebrations... I totally respect that!

I've had that problem ... my friends got better after awhile but occasionally they still offer me stuff.

Usually, the first time, I say "meh..I don't really feel like eating (food item) right now..too early, yk?" Or another excuse besides "too early."

Usually they back off. But if they come back with a smart comment, like "Oh, you're such a health freak!" I just smile and say, "Ha, yah."

I don't refuse 100% of the time, though. Sometimes I'll take some, eat a bite, and when they leave, throw it away.

i love ne_turtles responses.  I know I haven't been assertive enough.  I feel guilty for sticking up for myself.  SO I make excuses or waver.  Why can"t i just say "no thanks", "no thanks", "NO THANKS".  This is about food, health, personal choices.  I have a right to control my fuel intake.

 

Thats my new plan.  Thanks Turtle! And Thanks Rhoyalblu!

I've just refused so many times that people have finally got the message haha!

At first I felt like I was being rude but then I began to feel frustrated and felt like it was them who were being rude and trying to force me to eat things I clearly didn't want to. I also explained to a couple of my closest friends that it was making me uncomfortable and that really helped. 

Well the first time they asked me I would say "no thanks, I'm doing so good with my diet!"  That way they know you are really trying and most people should have enough common sense not to ask again.  If they do ask again, then you can say something like... "Oh I'm sorry, you must not have got the memo the last time I said no"  Then smile and laugh like you're joking.  Some people don't know how to receive sarcasm and it might piss them off but at least they won't ask anymore!

The people closest to us, at work and at home, generally will resist change.  People don't like it when others around them change because it upsets the status quo.  They feel insecure about what other changes might be coming after this one.  Some of them will, without even realize they are doing it (that part is important), try to sabotage our efforts.  They mean well and often don't try to undermine on purpose, but you'll have to be assertive and consistent about it.  Eventually they will stop (most of the time) as they get more used to the "new you" and it doesn't feel like a change to them anymore.