Motivation
Moderators: Sheila, devilish_patsy, sun123, imlosingw8


Lost 23 pounds & nobody notices!!???


Quote  |  Reply

Hey everyone - I know I've posted a similar post before, but Im really gettin upset that nobody is noticing my weight loss. Makes me feel like Im fat and that I need to lose even more. 

I'm 5'7"  SW 141 & CW 118. I see my friends about every other month and they dont say anything. One friend who is my height and 135lbs ( Hadnt seen since mid Oct.) even commented on my healthy food in my house and said "oh your dieting, good girl" I kinda felt like - gosh - I really must look the same - it really sucks. Makes me cry!

I just look in the mirror and feel so fat. It makes me want to lose even more. My new goal is 115

29 Replies (last)
Coming from someone else's point of view, you are at a fairly low weight for your height. Is it possible that people aren't saying anything because they think you are sick? On the other hand, the friend who said that - that was just sucky of her. I'm sorry. I'm sure you look wonderful.
There is no way you look the same, you're at the low end of your bmi. I am super tiny @ 118 & I'm 5'5. They might think you are pulling a Nicole Richie.

I know how you feel. I have lost 16 pounds and I can barely tell...my friends seem to notice but I don't...and I wish I did. I still have 17+ pounds to lose before I reach my original goal and I am already considering lowering my goal so that I notice. Over this winter break home from college though I have been really lazy and bad at my diet so I feel like I just put myself 10 steps back...again.

One thing I learned this break though - if you feel good and confident - others will notice. I'm sure you look fantastic. CONGRATS on your weight loss! Your healthy food and exercise is not just for weight loss - it is for long term health and happiness so you are doing an amazing thing for your body.

CONGRATULATIONS again and I hope you feel beautiful!

115 is nothing! I guarantee you aren't fat. Toning up with weights will make the difference if you're not already doing that.
My guess is that the friend who commented on your diet was trying to be complimentary and didn't realize that it came off as "you need to be dieting".  Granted, I don't know your friends.

It's like when I go out with a friend and have a burger and she has a good salad I might say "Ha, good for you, I should be doing that myself."  It wouldn't mean I thought she needed to lose weight, it would mean I was applauding her healthy choice.

thanks for all the replys. I do jazzercise 4 days a wk - with 20 min. of weight training included. Days I dont have jazz i run 1 - 2 miles.

It would just feel good to hear someone say " Wow, youve lost weight, you look great" Esp my friends. I just feel like I need to keep losing more and more to finally notice myself or for others ya know?

As for my friend i guess she didnt realize what she said. It still hurts though. Its one of those things that replay in your head over and over.

I think if your friends are worried you're losing weight because you have a possible illness you don't want to discuss, then they'd love you enough to avoid the topic. 

If those who see you are not considered 'close friends', it could be they are jealous; many times people ignore telling you how you REALLY look because they're wishing they looked as good.

I'm 5'7" - 65 years old.  I've never been over-weight; most of my life, under-weight.  I went down to 103 pounds when I had an ulcer; I looked awful, and my friends started worrying about me.  Once the ulcer cleared, I gained back to 110 pounds (that weight since 14 years of age; up until I turned 63).  When I put on 20 pounds these past 2 years, and got to a 'healthy weight', ALL my friends started praising me for FINALLY LOOKING HEALTHY.  So, there you go.........they'd been worried, and PRAISED ME FOR THE WEIGHT GAIN!

I'm not happy having this 'healthy weight' - my clothes are 'ancient'; expensive, and I want to wear them again before I die.  So, I want to divide the 'difference' - lose 10 pounds, and still keep some of that healthy look while fitting into many pieces of clothing that aren't so 'form-fitting' that I couldn't wear them.

I'd suggest you stop replaying over and over; it's like you're second-guessing yourself.  Look in the mirror - if you like what you see, YOU ARE YOUR BEST FRIEND - always...go with that.Laughing

#8  
Quote  |  Reply
A coworker of mine lost over 60 pounds and was very excited during the holidays because her family would have a chance to see how much weight she'd lost.  She did not get the gratification she was looking for until she asked her dad why he hadn't commented on her successful weight loss.  His comment was...."Thank God.... I thought you were sick"..... It turns out he thought she had cancer and he did not want to bring up her weight loss out of fear of her response.    Don't assume they didn't notice.

Don't be so hard on yourself if your friends didn't notice you are not losing weight.  Sometimes they don't bring it up with fear that they might be wrong and don't want to seam foolish, want to make you feel bad or they just don't want to acknowledge what you have managed to accomplish out of jealousy! You just never know!!! Like I  say it's best not to assume!!!

I have lost 62 pounds in the past 2 months and one of my co-workers slash friends made a comment to me the other day about my pants being so big but never said one word about the weight I've lost. So I wouldn't worry so much about what others think. One way I have learned to be able to tell that I am losing weight is by taking pictures of myself. When I look at myself in the mirror I still look the same even though my husband and family tell me that my face has slimmed down so taking pictures lets me see what they see.Smile

Either they think you're now too thin or they don't want to have an awkward conversation- what are they meant to say? If they congratulate you on losing weight you might interpret is as "oh, so you think I was fat before".

You're thin now, I guarantee it, but you're probably not eating enough and that's why you still feel fat. When I was eating too little I felt horrid but at 2000 calories I'm much better.
You mentioned one friend that was about the same weight as you before you started dieting and her comment. Well given you now weigh almost 20 lbs less than her she might feel a bit awkward, and was only able to get as far as the first comment, which was kind of a nice thing to say if put into a different perspective. Also you don't say how heavy your other friends are... is it possible that they might have been slightly envious of you before you started losing the weight? I'm pretty sure lots of women would love to be 5'7" and 141 lbs.

Where you're at now is fantastic. Don't get stressed because you think no one notices. Humans are odd creatures and their behaviour is governed by so many nuances of emotion. Well done on the dieting :)
I have lost 16 to 17 pounds and no one has said anything. When I mention it to close friends they say "good job" and "that's great." I don't tell them to see if they say "oh yes you are getting smaller" I tell them because I am excited and want to share it with someone. It does make me sad that nobody has said on their own "You've lost weight" especially my finace. It almost makes me feel like he doesn't want to say anything for fear I'll stop losing and get comfortable....maybe he wants me smaller. Whatever the case...I am doing this for me. It's just not great modivation at ALL!

Keep up the good work!!! You should be proud! :)
when i was 5'7" and 115ish no one noticed... it wasnt till i was like 97 pounds that they started spreading rumors and gossiping.
Sometimes with friends, you don't pay too much attention to how they look - my friend came out with me a couple of days ago and about half way through she said 'I'm surprised you haven't mentioned my lack of makeup "(she normally wears more eyeliner than amy winehouse) but the truth is, even though I could see her, I want really LOOKING at her, observing what she looked like, because I see her so much. 
It was the same with one of my other friends - she didn't really notice my 20lb weight loss, until one day she saw a new photo of me on facebook, at which point I got a "when did you lose weight?" message, even though she'd seen me the day before...Truth is, we don't pay too much attention to changes in our friends, as long as most things stay the same.

wow! we are really similar. I've lost almost 15lbs, and noone even notices. in fact the opposite. My mom told me how I was filling out the other day!!!! I wanted to be like: ummmmm thx, but i just lost 15lbs???.

I say don't worry about it. People are ignorant and unobservative. i'm sure someone at your school has noticed, but was probably too shy to bring it up(especially if they themselves are in need of dieting).  

you should nto be losing weight so other people will notice. if you keep dropping your goal weight until someone actually makes a comment to you, then that's what you're doing. that is disordered thinking and will lead to you wanting to keep dropping more and more. you probably look thin right now at this weight and losing anymore would be dangerous, especially with the amount of exercise you do. do not let someone else's perception or lack of gratification of your accomplishments lead to you developing or enhancing an existing eating disorder. losign weight should be done just for you, noone else. please stay healthy.

Sounds like you need some new friends. There's a good chance that they're jealous. 118 on 5'7" is extremely petite. Some people might even say that you need to put on a few pounds.

Just remember, your goal should be health, not weight. If you're healthy then you'll be at a good weight no matter what. The goal should be to live a life that is good for you. If you start thinking of yourself according to a number then you're going to end up with an eating disorder.

I agree with jrod37.  Often "friends" don't congratulate you on your accomplishments with healthy weight progress because they are jealous and feel as if they can't make that change for themselves (and we are all know here, everything is actually possible).  When you need acknowledgement for your hard work, turn to the poeple who have been cheering you on and supporting you the entire way.  Don't pin your wieght goals to public recognition.  That's a terrible road to go down.
If you lost 23 lbs then you lost it.  I am sure you don't look the same.  Girls can be really bad friends to each other at times because of something called envy.

But it could just be that they don't want to encourage any further weight loss on your part.  118 is pretty darn small for your height, even if we are all built differently. 

If you are eating healthy and exercising just enjoy being young, slim and full of energy.  Who cares what everyone else thinks?  I think you can find models of what three pounds of fat looks like, you can probably make one.  I am guessing if you look at what that looks like and how your old clothes fit you then you will know you changed a lot.

Maybe you will get smaller or maybe not, we are all a little different.  I think it is a safe bet that 118 is a good place for you to be, it is way better than 141! 

You've done a good job, take pride in that and who gives a toot if certain people don't notice.

It could be you are wearing baggy clothes too.  When I get new clothes my friends notice even a little weight loss.

Make a model of that fat, look it  up.  28 lbs of fat, I think that would fill up like 4 one gallon pails.  All that is gone, so you look different.  Did you show your friends your thighs.  Maybe they couldn't talk because they were so jealous (tee hee).

Congrats on that weight loss!
I have to say that I had lost about 20 lbs by this September and I went back to TX (homestate) and saw people I hadn't seen since May.  Nobody mentioned my weight loss until I went to my son's cub scout meeting and one of the dads came up behind me and said "Wow, you lost weight didn't you?"  Everyone looked shocked because I think a lot of people don't want to make you feel like the last time they saw you that  you looked like a total fat a$$.

I was so glad that someone noticed b/c I was thinking "wow, I was so fat before that nobody can even notice the 20 lb loss"

I also figured he was talking about my fat hiny since he noticed the difference from behind. LOL 
29 Replies (last)
Advertisement
Advertisement