Motivation
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In a major depression slump. Any suggestions on how to get out?


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Hi, I was hoping someone out there has been in a similar situation of feeling over whelmed and "why bother" before and could help motivate me. Here's what's going on with me... for the last 2 weeks or so I've been going to the gym or working out at home 5-6 times a weekand feeling great about myself. Then on Thursday, I went to my daughters school and ate lunch w/her. I got an Italian Wrap and that's all. Then Friday I took the kids to the zoo about 2 hrs away and ended up eating a Chicken salad sandwich from Chic Fillet and had some rice cakes & banana's to snack on at the zoo. We left later than we meant to and had to stop to eat on the way home (kids couldn't wait) so I got a Chicken Fajita Pita, one egg roll, and curly fries, which I didn't eat all of. Then last night I asked my husband to stop and pick up some plastic eggs and 2 bags of candy. I specifically said to get jelly beans and some kind of fruit chews, no chocolate (my kryptonite). What does he bring home? Two bags of chocolate. So last night I had at least 20 little eggs w/peanut butter inside while I put the eggs toghether. I feel worse about myself every day. I felt bad Thursday for eating that wrap, felt bad Friday for eating fast food, felt like a total looser last night for eating the chocolate. I also have a sinus infection and severe TMJ which has flared up because of the sinus inf. So I'm on antibiotics and Norco for the pain. I haven't worked out since Wednesday and I have NO ambition to do so, although every night I tell myself I'm going to work out tomorrow. I find myself snapping at my kids for little things and I just feel like crying and sleeping. I do suffer from depression and am taking medication. A couple other things I'm trying to deal with is my grandparents are dying and they live in another state, plus my husband could get laid off from his job at anytime. I'm also having a procedure done on Tuesday that I'll be completely sedated, although it is outpatient surgery, and on Friday, not next week but the one after, I'm having another procedure done on my foot with a local, but it will leave me in an air cast for 2-3 weeks. I don't mean to be whining, but at this point it is hard for me to take a shower, let alone diet and work out. Does anyone have any suggestions or anything to say to kick me into gear? Thanks.

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Wow, that does sound like a lot of stress for one person to handle.

I`d advise you to try your best to enjoy the holidays and some quality time with your family. Don`t stress over food and exercise for a couple days, but do plan a lot of outdoor activities for your kids and join in the fun. You deserve a break. I wish you all the best and a happy Easter!

I know all too well how much depression can sap your motivation; you have my sympathies!

I suspect that you are probably being too hard on yourself, though (depression can do that!).  Are you counting all of your calories and finding that the fast foods and candies are taking you way above your calorie goals?  If you are estimating calories, you might be assuming that the fast food is worse than it really is.  The chicken salad sandwich you ate, for example, is 500 calories -- not enough to throw off your entire day.  I just factor those types of things in and enjoy them on a regular-but-not-constant basis.  Learning how to incorporate your favorite foods into your new lifestyle is part of the process; so I would call it an educational week and figure out which lessons you can take from it. Frankly, it may even be possible for you to eat all of the foods you listed in a week without exceeding your calorie goal; you may just want to think of more healthy foods to add to your diet to help 'crowd out' some of the convenience foods. 


Remember, this is a process and every step you take is a step in the right direction; yes, even the occasional backwards step.  The only way to fail is to stop trying and stop learning, and it looks like you have learned a lot from the  past week.  Last minute stops at restaurants, hungry kids, unintentional sabateurs, medical conditions, family and work difficulties - these are all unavoidable parts of life.  But you can learn how to confront them without losing sight of your goals, and this week has been an important part of that learning process, I'm sure.  Good luck and remember to give yourself some slack!

Yeah, that is alot of stress. If your not so motivated to do stuff than focus on not doing stuff. Like try cutting out fast food completely. Just dont eat it. My mom lost 10 lbs and kept it off by just not eating fast food. And everytime your kids eat somewhere, does not mean you have to eat as well. If you go through the drvie through, let them get what they want and you focus on eating. I know how hard it is to avoid the foods you like but if you just slowly take small steps and get the support of your family and get them involved it will be easier and will eventually become a part of your life. Fast food is garbage anywhay. If you dont loose weight from cutting out fast food, you will at least be healthier. I dont know If losing wieght is enough motivation for yourself but the the habits you have, like eating when your not hungry or eating at fast food alot will be reflected onto your children. If you cant do it for yourself do it for the health of your children especially considering obesity, hypertension, diabetes etc... are on a rise. I know its hard to loose weight but just keep trying. Ive been dieting since i was probably 15 and have finally managed to take off 20 lbs only somewhat recently and its stayed off for a couple yrs and now im gonna loose a couple more pounds. I did manage to beat the cravings for fatty and sugary foods and put my health first. I made a point to change even with the obstacles of family, freinds, outings, holidays, fast food you name it. Everyone is capable of change, you just have to find what works for you, weather it be putting all the junk food in one cabinet that you dont allow yourself to go in, or cutting out one item at a time like pop, then fast food, than the candys you dont really like but you just eat them. You get the idea. I wish you all the luck. And excersise is shown to decrease levels of depression so keep it up. Be too busy to be depressed. Smile

Hi dolphinlvr, I also suffer from depression so may have an inkling of what you are going through. My quick suggestions would be -

  • Check with your doctor that your medication and dosage is right for you. There's no sense in putting up with feeling crappy. A change of dosage or medication can sometimes do wonders.
  • Try to eat well as it helps you to feel better, but don't beat yourself up for mistakes. Some good foods to beat depression are oats and potatoes (high in serotonin, which relaxes you and makes you feel good) and oily fish or omega-3 supplements.
  • I realised that beating myself up because I didn't hit the gym often enough was making me feel worse, not better. So I quit the gym. Yes, exercise is good for you and makes you feel better. But I found it much easier to incorporate exercise into my every day life, by walking places and taking the stairs, etc. Going to the gym was making me stressed out because I felt too bad to keep the appointment. Once I forgave myself for not going to the gym, and started going on regular walks instead, I began to feel a lot better.
  • Get support. Have a serious talk with your husband about what he can do to help you feel better, and stick with your diet. Make him realise how important it is that he helps you, rather than sabotages your efforts! Also talk to someone - a friend or counsellor - about how you're feeling. There's nothing better than talking to destress about a situation.
  • Do something you enjoy. Remember that life is not all about the husband and kids. Even if you only have time for a 30 min bath with a magazine, give yourself some downtime. Or get out and enjoy a hobby - something to take your mind off life. I took up yoga and French lessons, but you could try anything you're interested in.
  • Forgive yourself for not being perfect, and know that you are doing the best you can right now and are actually coping with very challenging circumstances. Remember to think about the things you have done well instead of focusing on the negatives.
  • Make lists. I find my concentration and memory goes out the window when I am depressed, making it very hard to organise my life and get anything at all done. Writing lists of what needs to be done, and when, really helped me continue to live my life instead of getting stuck in the hopelessness.

I hope this helps. I think it's amazing you are actually managing to raise children and carry on with life while so much is going on for you right now. Keep on going and I'm sure things will get better for you - you deserve it!

I'll be praying for you.  I've been there.  Wink

I suffer from depression and I just came off a down spell.  It had been awhile since I had one, so I was scared to death that it was starting all over again.  However it only lasted less then a couple of weeks.

  Dealing with all your going through it is no wonder your feeling stressed!  I two had one day surgery back in feb.  I was afraid that I would lose my motivation because I too had to take some time off of exercising.  All I can say is that I am back on my cc and exercise.  Its okay if you need a break.  The world will not end, but if your depression seems to get worse or last to long talk to your dr. about it.  I'll be thinking of you

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I can relate to the frustration/elation rollercoaster as well. Given that you are already on medication, I fully support the recomendation of following up with you doc on the dosage. I just read an article on easy ways to boost your energy levels, and the SUPER EASY ones I remember are:

  1. Wear something red! It stimulates you! So buy some red flip flops, watch or a bracelet and wear it everyday. You could even just paint your nails red. Instant and cheap mood lifter.
  2. Listen to upbeat music. Fast, fun tempos - not sad, mellow tunes. I'm sure there are some good suggestions out there. I personally listen to christian praise to boost my mood. Country music from the 80's always makes me smile...AND tap my toes!
  3. Nibble on dark chocolate. YES, CHOCOLATE! It stimulates the serotonin levels to also boost that mood! Keep only a few pieces in your purse so you don't feel guilty when I, er you, eat them all.
  4. Call a funny friend. Laughter is, surprise, good for your overall health AND abs. So call someone who can make you laugh even when you are down. Sometimes your kids will be the best medicine for you if you just watch them for a while! Laugh til you cry!

Well good luck. If I find the article I'll list some more, but these are super easy and no gym equipment or guilt involved!

 

 

 

my - you do sound like you have quite a bit on your plate!

I do like the suggestions above, especially about checking w. your doc for medications that might be out of whack.  while you're at it, get your thyroid, blood sugar and hormone levels checked too! 

also the red, the CHOCOLATE, and not being to hard on yourself! 

I was going thru some MAJOR depression issues last year, moods all over the place, couldn't get a handle on work or home - crying, frustrated, devastated most of the time

couple of things I did - maybe one or two might help, or get you going in the right direction?

  • I quit drinking soy milk - my aunt suggested this after she had some major whackiness going on and her rheumatologist suggested it to her - I think this has made the biggest difference
  • I broke everything down to the simplest parts of what I felt like I could deal with at the time - the thought of trying to clean the entire house over the weekend was too much, but could I take 5 minutes to put the towels away? yes - and it made me feel better, whether I kept going or not
  • I quit the gym - now I am using mapmywalk.com to schedule walks with my husband, and I found some simple pilates dvd's @ half price books for $4 - and I have made more progress in three weeks than I did in two months at the gym

good luck with everything!  check back in and give us an update!

we are all rooting for you!

 

 

 

WinkI can't believe that there are still so many kind and wonderful people out there. I'm overwhelmed by all of you. Your kindness, understanding, suggestions, and motivation has caught me off guard. I've been reading all of the replies every day, but have finally felt like I could answer you back without crying. I will definitely see my doctor about changing my medication and start going back to my psychologist in a few weeks after I get all the stuff done.

I didn't input the foods in that I ate for those 3 days, I just assumed that I was over the limit. But I won't do that again, so thank you coreyander. Plus once you said to use it as a learning experience, that mad me think. I'll use that in the future. Smile

I also did an egg hunt with my kids and flew kites with them on Sunday, so thank you too ily51.

Selishac, that is good advice about cutting out fast food all toghter. That's what I had been doing for the last couple of weeks. For example, I took my kids to McDonald's twice in the last 2 week and I got a salad and water and dipped my salad in the dressing instead of putting it on my sandwich. But we left for the zoo at 11:00, which was 2 hrs later than we meant to, and we stayed until 5:30 which was also later than we meant to. It's a 1 1/2 - 2 hr drive from home so when the kids started to get cranky and had to go to the bathroom it was 7:30pm. I was so hungry too. My kids are a major impact on me deciding to loose weight because Thyroid problems run in my family along with obesity and I don't want to pass that on to them. I was never taught how to eat healthy and have recently realized that. My kids are in very good shape now and eat fruit/veggies, plus they are very active, but I want to teach them to COOK healthy. Which I'm trying to do now myself. Thank you for reminding me what's important.

Merylwhite1, sorry you suffer from depression. Like I said, I will see my doctor this week, if not, on Monday. Maybe he;ll change my meds. Do you mind if I ask what works for you? I've taken Prozac since I was a teen, but after almost dying last Feb. it didn't seem to work anymore. They put me on a med. that I can't remember right now and I didn't like it. Then they switched me to Cymbalta. I take 120mg a day. Plus I take Valium when I feel I need it, but I don' tlike how tired it makes me. So, I'll check that out. I have been eating better today and have started c.c. again. I love sweet potatoes cooked w/olive oil in the oven. I'll make some tonight, good idea.Smile My husband  & kids like them too. I do have some frozen tilapia and salmon. I'll try to make some dinners for tomorrow and the nest day with those, they cook so quick. Thanks for reminding me. I do like to crotchet, but don't seem to have much time for myself. That's another hurtle that I'm trying to do. Realize that I need me time, schedule it in, and don't feel guilty about it. As far as the gym goes, I actually love my gym. I have 172lbs to loose, I weigh 305 now and want to weigh 135. My gym has aqua aerobics and strengthening and is so much easier on my body and I get a good work out. Plus they have a theater room that is dark hand has all the cardio equipment in it. I like to walk for an half an hr than ride bike for half an hr. They also have a dry steam room which I LOVE and it has so many health benefits. I have a stationary bike at home, weights, and an exercise ball that I'll use sometimes when I don't go to the gym. I just have to get over myself and stop thinking I need to exercise every day. Unfortunately, it is hard for me to see the positive about myself and VERY easy to see when I screw up. I am a perfectionist about myself. In other words I don;t forgive myself very often. List's are good, I use them for grocery etc., but never thought about using them for other things. I'll try that. Thanks so much for your help.

Thesweetmamma, thanks for you prayers. That means a lot.

k192, again, sorry you suffer from bouts of depression also. Sucks huh. But it's encouraging to know that you started back with c.c and exercising without any problems. That gave me hope, thank you.Smile

Elizsuth, wow, I've never heard of the stuff yous suggested before. I tried to always have fresh flowers, listen to Zen and Tai Chi music (which I use every night to help me fall asleep). I've heard of the upbeat music, but other than going to bed at night the only music I listen to is kids music and the songs drive me up the wall, but my kids like it. Never heard of the red thing, but I will try it. Maybe put a couple of red pillows in my living room, or better yet crochet a red throw blanket (kill 2 birds w1 stone)Wink I'll try the dark choc although I'm not much of a fan, but maybe with a few nuts it would be pretty good. Thanks for all the good ideas and if you find the article, please let me know more. Maybe I'll look up boost mood/energy on google. Thanks again for all your help.

Spursfan, good hit on the thyroid. I have Hashimoto's Thyroiditis. I actually got it checked on Friday and found out it was normal. I don't think I'm getting enough sleep, which is another part of my problem. I get my blood sugar & cholesterol checked every year because of my thyroid. I'm thinking it's been about six months since I had those test done & they were normal. However, I don't think I've had my hormones checked, unless they did it and didn't tell me. But I will have it done when I go in to the doc in the next week or so. Thanks for the suggestion, never thought about that. I don't drink soy milk, but actually thought about getting it at the store today. Glad I didn't!!!!! You also hit the nail on the head when you said you feel overwhelmed about cleaning the house. That's me alright. I will try that and make it a list so I won't forget, plus I can check things of and can feel good about that. Great idea! Thank so much for the support!!!!

You guys, this has really helped me. I can't thank you enough!! My secret angels

I take Citalopram 20mg tablets once daily. I took something else before... I can't remember what sorry... but that was worse than not taking anything, and I was suicidal until they changed my meds, and then bing, I was ok again. I have an eating disorder as well as depression (lucky me huh) and Citalopram is supposed to help with both as it is good for anxiety and panic.

good morning!

glad to hear things are looking better to you.  even your message sounds like you are feeling better

egg hunts and flying kites - how fun!  your kids are very fortunate to have a mom that will do things like that with them and take them to the zoo

your sweet potatoes and tilapia sounds so yummy!

and wow - your gym routine sounds like it's a blast!  I would try to make it to a place like that every day, too -

lists - I love lists - for everything!  and you're right - being able to cross something off is VERY empowering

if you're up for it - let us know how it goes @ your doc's, and what's working for you

keep it up - you're doing great!

I suffer from depression and I totally understand. Major depressive episodes are soul sucking and they zap all motivation. Depression is a medical disease like any other and it  must be dealt with. When you need to get out of a depressive episode focus on that and suspend your weight loss goals...you can focuson that when your mind is in the right place. 1st exercise daily-it is the # 1 way to fight depression so make sure you incorporate this as it is essential to your wellbeing 2nd getting proper nutrition is key so make sure u eats lots of fruit, veggies and nuts...even if you eat junk don't forgo your healthy stuff...your body needs it to make u well again 3rd some studies indicate that taking the following supplements helps with mood/anxiety...of course there are differing opinions as to if they actually work; however, they definitely do not hurt so if u can afford they are worth a try. magnesium, calcium, fish oil, b 100 complex

Because depression is a serious medical condition do not forget to check in with your doctor if your meds have stopped working....that happens and adjustments can be made.

Lastly, remember that everyone feels like crap sometimes! When u experience something terrible it is normal to be down for a while. Give yourself permission to feel like crap in a crappy situation.

Best of luck to you!

remember to not undo what you've been working so hard. There have been many days where I couldn't care less about anyones advice. Depression is hard to overcome, but you have to renew yourself daily, if you don't a week will pass you by, then a month and you'll find yourself in an even bigger pit which is where I feel like I am. Just start over, remember you're family needs you physically and mentally. Take snack bags with you, use the money your going to eat fast food with toward a water bottle or healthy snacks.Have some ME time. A day with with just you. Have a salad buy that special healthy something. Take a walk and just reflect on all that you've accomplished, just start over.

youre ahead of many of us, you know what you need to do. you just gotta do it

Good Luck

You are probably being way too hard on yourself.  You will want to teach your children that it's just as important not to undereat as it is not to overeat, so count your calories and you'll probably be surprised by not really being over or finding yourself at maintenance.

To safeguard against future fast food attacks, try keeping a variety of snacks in the car and your purse.  I am particularly fond of peppermint stick luna bars and trail mix in single serving packets.

Merylwhite1, I have an appointment to see my doc next Tues. I'll ask him about the Citalopram. Thanks for telling me what you take.

Surfsfan, thanks for saying my kids are lucky, I don't always feel that way, especially when I'm in a slump.

The tilapia is so good and easy to make. You just set oven to 375 degrees. spray a baking dish with olive oil Pam, put 4 oz fillets into dish, then sprinkle pepper, salt, and a quarter lime on both sides them put the squeezed limes on top off the fish and bake 3-7 minutes on each side until it's white and flaky. Make some Uncle Ben's brown and wild rice in the pouch (it only takes 90 seconds) add some veggies and you got a great meal. The sweet potatoes are easy to. I just cut a potato in half, then quarters, thin semi thick pieces so they're triangle shaped. I spay them and a cookie pan w/olive oil Pam, sprinkle then w/garlic powder, onion powder and some salt and bake at 350 for about 10- 15 min on each side, depending on how crunchy you like them. Or you can put some cinnamon on them too, yum, basil and mustard powder is also good.

I do love mt gym, and believe it or not it's Golds Gym. I thought it was just a big meat market and my husband has been going since 2001, but it isn't if you go in the morning. The people there are very nice also, and encouraging. I wouldn't go in the evening though.

The surgery went fine yesterday, thank you for asking. It wasn't scheduled until 3:00 so I was hungry when I got out at 6:00. There was a Chi-fil-a right by the hospital so I had my husband stop and I got another chicken salad san. with side of fruit and a med. coke. When I got home I put it in my cal.int. then I didn't feel so bad. thanks to Coryander I saw the fast food fool list and looked it up. Never noticed it before. Plus I has some string cheese, 100cal popcorn and some weight watchers ice cream and was just over 1000 cal from my burn cal. So I managed to get the calories in that I needed and the chic-fil-a helped be. Although I was up till 11:00. Thanks for all your help and encouragement.

Bembrey, boy it is soul sucking, that's a great way of expressing it. I will try to continue to exercise next time. I made a promise to myself, that I'm going to the gym tomorrow. The doc gave me the ok to go back tomorrow. Don't know what I'm going to do when I get the foot cast on though. Anyone have any suggestions? I will ask my doc about the supplements I don't see why they'd be a problem. Thanks for the suggestions, and thanks for saying it's ok to feel like crap sometimes, I just gotta try to eat healthy at those times.

Sunisons, you are exactly right, I do find myself in a depressive state for months at a time and I end up saying screw it and after a few months I feel even worse because I gave up, then I feel so overwhelmed because I have so much to loose, than I think well it's just to much. I just keep spiraling down. But this time I wrote a message here and I'm getting out of it and back on track, and thinking more positive. I'm going to keep writing when I feel like I'm heading down and read this stuff over and over again. I'm going to start taking snacks with me. Starting in the next day or 2. I do need to do walks or something by myself. I just feel guilty and I know I need to get over that. Thanks to you too.

Smwhipple, I am too hard on myself, I just don't know how to stop doing that. I haven't tried the Luna bars, but I was looking at them the other day. What's you favorite flavor? I actually got a box of individual servings of granola when I was looking at the Luna bars. I have severe TMJ & I'm in the middle of the long process of treating it and rice cakes sometimes hurt me enough to have to take norco, forget about wheat thins, gum or anything like that. Thank you too for advice, I;m trying to find things I can eat on the go. I eat a lot of sugar free pudding, yogurt, things like that right now. Soft foods like fish and rice for lunch or dinner. If you can think of anything else suggestions would be well received. 

My favorite flavor is the chocolate peppermint stick.  If you have TMJ, you'll probably want to crush them up before eating them so that you don't have to chew much.  Everyone seems to like different flavors, but for me that's the one I keep coming back to, the others are just okay imo.

You just have to reeducate yourself on what is reasonable.  Any day that you meet maintence or have a deficit (no more than 1,000) you deserve a gold star.  Any other day you hope that your weekly total makes it a maintenance week or better.  Any individual day is not going to matter in the long run.  It's what you do over many days and weeks and months and years that counts when it comes to weight loss.  You didn't gain all of your weight in just a few weeks, so why do we constantly expect it to drop off if we are religious about a diet and exercise plan for a week or three? 

With the TMJ, nuts are probably out...how about fiber one cereal or Kashi?  Once it's in your mouth it gets soft, especially if drink water.  It's easy to measure a serving into a bunch of little snack bags and casually munch as you go along.  Toss some in the yogurt for a bit of crunch.  Dried fruit is probably higher in sugar and chewiness than you'll want.  Popsicles make a great treat anytime since they're reasonably low on calories and we tend to view them as a mini dessert.  Oranges would probably work and they're reasonably portable, so are bananas.

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