I need help to motivate myself :/ I'm a failure!

Hi all, I'm new here. I just downloaded the app today. I'm here because I need help. I have being on and off and just when I think I'm doing great, I "cheat" and get all the weight back... Right now I am 190 pounds, I'm 32 years and I'm 5'3.. I really wish I could have will power and overcome this situation. I haven't show my arms since I was 12 years old (because they are huge and saggy) so I always have to wear cardigans to feel better if I wear a dress. How do you guys keep motivate it, what can I do to meet my goals. I'm desperate :( Thank you,

Focus on what you want (goal weight) and we can work to get each other there. I fight the same arm battle!! I'm on a low carb, low calorie "diet"... More like "lifestyle". The motivation comes from you! You have to want to do this... We're just all here to support you!

I'm in the same boat. Just restarted my diet and really need to stick with it this time. This start and cheat just puts unwanted weight on. You are worse than when you started five months ago. So it's time for the lifestyle change; not beating myself up any more and accepting and loving myself regardless of what the scale says. At 5 ft 4 in and 168lbs I am surely overweight, however, I saw many people today in much worse shape than I am. Time to get off the pity party and start being grateful. This attitude will be the key to success. Also, enlisting the support of other people. It helps to know that your not alone!

This is where I get my motivation from

 

http://stay-skinny.tumblr.com/

 

The pictures really.

Good morning guys, Thank you do much for the support, I so needed this. Most of my friends are skinny and some other heavier than I am and I don't get to be near someone that wants it too. I know it's an excuse but every little push helps. Especially at work, there is always bad food hanguing around the office... Today I started my morning with ginger, cinnamon tea... It's good for you or I heard. I met someone that goes to dance classes 2 days a week.. I think I will start with that. I'm very lazy when it comes to exercise and that's killing me too.. Again thanks so much and the best of luck to all of you. :)

Soly

I keep motivation through my daughter, she's 4yrs old. I want to be able to keep up with her and I want her to learn the importance of a healthy lifestyle. For everyone it's different. Try taking a picture of yourself now and when you feel like breaking your plan take a look at it and remember why you want to stick to it. Keep yourself in a good mood. Blast music and dance, remind yourself of the good qualities you have instead of only focusing on the bad. A good attitude will help you achieve your goals.

I think you will find that many of us have felt the same way.  I certainly have.  You are not a failure, and that kind of thinking is self-defeating.  The problem, for me, was that negative self-talk became something of a mantra (unfortunately), and my resulting behavior was a self-fulfilling prophecy.  As long as I thought I was a failure I was destined to play the role.

I have lost about 50 pounds since coming to CC.  I log calories daily, and I work out regularly.  I still intend to lose another 35 pounds.  Sometimes I grow impatient, but most of the time I am enjoying the more energetic, slimmer version of myself.  To sustain myself on this journey I have had to find my rewards in places other than the scale:  At the end of the day I congratulated myself for sticking with the plan, for adopting healthier habits, for going the distance in the gym.  As I have lost weight I have delighted in buying new clothes or adding another challenge to my workouts.  If I had relied on pounds lost to propel me I suspect that I would have grown frustrated--and gone on yet another eating binge.

I'm not on a diet.  "Diet" suggests something temporary to me.  I am changing my lifestyle.  You may have heard the axiom "move a muscle, change a thought," and as I've made these changes I have changed how I look at things.  It was helpful to me to join up with various challenges here on CC.  I read lots of posts, and I've learned so much.  Believe me, people here know how it is, and they are willing to support you.

Its not an issue of willpower.  Willpower gets the ball rolling, habit is what maintains momentum.  Focus on forming healthier habits, one at a time.  A good one to start with is to only drink water, tea is fine, but you get the idea (i.e. cut out all sugary liquids).  Then you can increase vegetables, decrease processed foods, start/increase exercise (start out small, ex. 30 minute walks, and as you progress you will be more comfortable with higher intensity/longer duration), learn to cook healthier good tasting meals (again, baby steps, slowly replacing your meals with healthy options as you learn new recipes), etc. 

You shouldn't dread doing this.  For example, learning how to cook good tasting food is important so you don't have to choose between healthy bad tasting food and unhealthy good tasting food.  The choice becomes do I choose healthy good tasting food and unhealthy good tasting food and its obvious which one is preferable.  Same with exercise, find something that you enjoy doing.

If you try to start all of these at the same time, it can be overwhelming and you are simply setting yourself up to fail.  You should be nearly certain that you can achieve the task you have set for yourself.  Lifestyle means its part of your habits, something you don't have to think twice about, or something you enjoy doing.

I'm so glad I read this today. I diet, diet, diet then get scared about something and eat, eat, eat. I can't even picture myself at my goal weight. It really isn't about a diet, iit is about changing my life.

I want to be healthy and around for my kids.  It really needs to be a lifestyle change and focus on fitness and health.  Not just a diet to lose weight.  Make small changes that add up over time.  You are more likely to stick to it if it's not so overwhelming.  Find a physical activity that you enjoy doing.  Also, I get a lot of support from this site.  That helps me keep up my good habits as well.  You are not a failure until you quit trying!  Be kind to yourself and nurture your body.  It does a lot for you every day :)

It's very hard and not impossible.. I did it twice and lost the weight with strict diets just to gained all back plus some.. But yes, it does make sense to start off slow since I always try everything at the same time. I hope this site and the support help me reach my goal which is 40 pounds by the end of the year. I wish I could say sooner but it's not that easy. Thank u ladies!!!!

Original Post by solyneedshelp:

I did it twice and lost the weight with strict diets just to gained all back plus some.. But yes, it does make sense to start off slow since I always try everything at the same time.

Strict diets are too hard to maintain and lead to weight regain, as you have found out.  Better to take longer and make it permanent!  You can do it :)

Thank u tina!!! I sure will do that. I'm excited :)

hi ladies ,

I had to open another account because I couldnt remember my password and had problems with the one name solyneedshelp...

this is my new one!

 

I am almost in the exact same boat as you. I am 5'3 and started at 209, now 208 after 4 weeks. Its so hard to stay on track and be motivated. I have two girls, one 10 and the other 16. It is all a bout the choice we make and learning to make healthier ones.