YES. My fiance is two inches taller than me and we weigh the same. It truly bums me out sometimes. I really dont like to share with him how much I weigh as I feel so ashamed. I am trying to lose though and that is what is important. I share with him when I lose a pound. I try to keep the positive light on!
PS when I found out we weighed the same I cried!!
LOL...Yes, I experience that ALL the time!! It doesn't help being 6-1. My advice is this: who says the guy must always be *bigger* or "taller"? I would never date if that were the case. I hear what you mean, though, and it is hard to work through those cultural expectations. For me, I just don't date men who feel emasculated by tall women. My second piece of advice is this: you can't control how HE feels. I'm sure he's great if you've chosen him, but has he given you any clue that he feels, as you say, "emasculated?" My guess is if he's with you, he loves you for who you are; if you want to lose weight, you have to do it for you because you honestly can't control how others feel about you.
By the way, the current guy I'm dating is about 2 inches shorter than me. And if he is going to be weird about it, then he's gonna have to leave. Stay positive!!
right there with you, my hubby is like 5 inches taller than me and I outweigh him by about 20 lbs still (I DID outweight him by more like 30lbs when Is started losing weight). Plus, he east whatever, whenever. Plus, he has ALWAYS been the same weight since he was about 16 or 18 or something like that and likes to brag about this fact and his 28 inch waist! Of course, then I can pick on him because he has trouble actually finding pants that fit his tiny waist. Even when I was at my lowest and most fit, I still weighed the same as him! You can only imagine how huge I felt next to him when I was preggers! Some days its a bummer and I HATE discussing my weight with him, but mostly I just look at it that he is just built petite and I am not. Plus, I think luckily my beautiful daughter got his physique and metabolism, and I will be happy if she never has to worry about her weight like I did growing up (Of course, I am also very conscious of teaching her good eating habits from the start!)
My husband and I are the exact same height and I outweigh him by 100 pounds. It's not fun, especially when I was 20 pounds lighter than him when we were married. He doesn't seem to mind the weight, but I do. I see the looks of others when they see us together, when they see that I have to squeeze into booths or chairs at restaurants. I hate it. That's part of the reason why I'm here. My main reason I'm on this site is to get the support from people that know how I feel, because my wonderful husband doesn't, so that I can turn this eating right and healthy choice into a lifestyle.
I want to feel sexy when I'm with him, and right now I don't. Thanks for posting this thread, at least I know I'm not the only one.
My wonderful dear husband is one inch taller than I am.
My wonderful dear husband is one year younger than I am.
My wonderful dear husband now weighs only 105 pounds less than I do (I've lost 80 pounds so far!) I've put him on notice that my goal is to be able to steal his sweatshirts, hee hee hee!
And did I mention he's a handsome, dashing fighter pilot?
Yeah, my boyfriend is 6-1 at 168 and I am 5-6 at 185ish...
He is so athletic and good looking...
but I think this...he met me when I was pleasantly plump and wanted to be with me then so he will really wont be able to let go when I lose 30 lbs...
We got gym memberships together...and we go together...and now we motivate each other
He wants to gain weight (190) and I want to lose it so I do my part by feeding him and he does his part by being the food police(in a good way) and helping me get to my goal
And yeah like someone else said, people look at us and it seems like they are saying, why is he with her....but I know it is just hate because I'm still gorgeous even with this extra 40lbs
I was definitely a good 20 pounds heavier than my ex-boyfriend (whom I was seven inches shorter than!). The latest guy I'm seeing is probably about the same weight as me and about four-five inches taller. Go figure.. I think it's the curse of being attracted to the tall, skinny fellows.
Anyway, don't let it get you down. There's no reason to compare your weight to you man's. Just like there is no reason to compare your weight to your sister's or your friend's or your second cousin's. We all have different builds -- and different relationships with food for that matter -- and comparing ourselves to others is not necessarily a healthy way of determining our feelings for ourselves.
That being said, I know being petite has come to be associated with femininity, but it doesn't have to be that way in your mind. Look at big, beautiful plus sized models if you're feeling particularly uninspired, or better yet, make yourself feel fabulous by treating yourself to a sexy new outfit or flattering undies. Something to make you feel HOT.
I am posting tis from a POV of a very good friend of mine, I am lucky as my BF is tall and big- not fat, but def not skinny and very muscular. However my best friend's partner is tiny, same height as her at 5'5, but small boned and slim. My friend is curvy and cuddly, with an amazing waist but all woman, big boobs and bum and a well rounded belly.
HER PARTNER ADORES HER!!!!!! My friend is unhappy with her weight and size, but from being outside the relationship I can see how truly in love her partner is with every part of her.
Maybe just goes to show that we are loved whatever our size. Certainly that we should change for ourselves, not so that we can match the size of our loved ones.
He's also on about half an inch taller than me. Ok, maybe an inch.
I'm getting there and he's proud of me.
I know the feeling! My BF is about 2 inches taller than me, but I weigh way more than he does. I feel like a giant next to him just because I am so much bigger around than him...thats my true motivation to lose weight, to look better for him & to feel better for me.
yeah...i always was attacted to nice, big muscular guys, and then i always end up seriously dating the skinny ones!
my bf fell in love with me when i was at my heaviest (a semester in beer drinking germany will do that to you!) when i moved back to germany i was in really great shape, then not working out for 6 months made me get icky. he's about 5inches taller than me, and we look good together and he loves my body (which sometimes i do too). he tells me all the time how much he loves my curves and that it only "gets hotter" now that i'm working out. even though he thinks that my wanting to lose 25lbs is a lot, he's still a great support.
i think i'll call him now and tell him i love him! haha
almost a year later i lost all of the baby weight plus some extra and weighed 130 pounds. next to my boyfriends who weighs 150 pounds.
I am now thirty weeks pregnant and weigh 147, while he weighs 153 (I told him that he had to gain at least another ten pounds so that i don't outweigh him when I give birth...lol
I think the biggest thing that I have learned from all of this is that my confidence in myself was never really a reflection of how small or large I was and my boyfriends love was never a reflection of how small or large I was. True confidence and True Love have to come from something greater than your pants size or the number one the scale.
My boyfriend is a lower bmi than me... we use to be the same. I gained a little weight and he lost weight. I want us to be the same bmi again, hes gaining while I'm losing.
Hes 6'4" at 155 BMI 18.9
I'm 5'3" at 116 MBI 20.5
I still feel tiny because of the height. I guess its not really much of a difference but it still bothers me that hes lower.
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