Motivation
Moderators: Sheila, sun123, devilish_patsy, imlosingw8


My significant other is smaller than me... :-(


Quote  |  Reply
This was a hard topic to categorize, but I figured having a boyfriend who is my height and about fifty pounds LIGHTER than me was motivation enough to lose some weight.  I can't help feeling like my weight and height is emasculating him.  Anyone else out there have this problem, and feel a little less womanly by being the "big" one in the relationship???  I don't want to weigh as much, or rather as little, as he does, but I'd like to feel a little daintier at least.  I know I'll always weigh more because of my womanly curves, my hips, my butt, my breasts... but I'd like to have him wrap his arms around me and not feel like it's hard to do!  It's just a bad day and I just feel pretty horrible right now.  Anyone else feel bummed like this?
53 Replies (last)
If it helps at all...my hubby is actually about four inches taller than i am and i weigh about FIFTY pounds MORE than he does...i feel like i could snap him like a twig some days...just because he does weigh so much less than i do

 

YES. My fiance is two inches taller than me and we weigh the same. It truly bums me out sometimes. I really dont like to share with him how much I weigh as I feel so ashamed. I am trying to lose though and that is what is important. I share with him when I lose a pound. I try to keep the positive light on!Laughing

PS when I found out we weighed the same I cried!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

This was actually my main motivation to begin losing weight. I weighed 182 lbs and my boyfriend weighed like 165 and is lean and tall. I felt like the fat girlfriend since he was skinny.  But now we are about the same so I feel better and know he enjoys the new me too!

LOL...Yes, I experience that ALL the time!! It doesn't help being 6-1. My advice is this: who says the guy must always be *bigger* or "taller"? I would never date if that were the case. I hear what you mean, though, and it is hard to work through those cultural expectations. For me, I just don't date men who feel emasculated by tall women. My second piece of advice is this: you can't control how HE feels. I'm sure he's great if you've chosen him, but has he given you any clue that he feels, as you say, "emasculated?" My guess is if he's with you, he loves you for who you are; if you want to lose weight, you have to do it for you because you honestly can't control how others feel about you.

By the way, the current guy I'm dating is about 2 inches shorter than me. And if he is going to be weird about it, then he's gonna have to leave. Stay positive!! 

Yep,

right there with you, my hubby is like 5 inches taller than me and I outweigh him by about 20 lbs still (I DID outweight him by more like 30lbs when Is started losing weight).  Plus, he east whatever, whenever.  Plus, he has ALWAYS been the same weight since he was about 16 or 18 or something like that and likes to brag about this fact and his 28 inch waist!   Of course, then I can pick on him because he has trouble actually finding pants that fit his tiny waist.  Even when I was at my lowest and most fit, I still weighed the same as him!  You can only imagine how huge I felt next to him when I was preggers!  Some days its a bummer and I HATE discussing my weight with him, but mostly I just look at it that he is just built petite and I am not.  Plus, I think luckily my beautiful daughter got his physique and metabolism, and I will be happy if she never has to worry about her weight like I did growing up (Of course, I am also very conscious of teaching her good eating habits from the start!) 

I guess lucky for me my husband likes big women. Saves me a lot of trouble stressing about him being a few pounds smaller and a few inches taller.
#7  
Quote  |  Reply

My husband and I are the exact same height and I outweigh him by 100 pounds. It's not fun, especially when I was 20 pounds lighter than him when we were married. He doesn't seem to mind the weight, but I do. I see the looks of others when they see us together, when they see that I have to squeeze into booths or chairs at restaurants. I hate it. That's part of the reason why I'm here. My main reason I'm on this site is to get the support from people that know how I feel, because my wonderful husband doesn't, so that I can turn this eating right and healthy choice into a lifestyle.

I want to feel sexy when I'm with him, and right now I don't. Thanks for posting this thread, at least I know I'm not the only one.

My wonderful dear husband is one inch taller than I am. Laughing

My wonderful dear husband is one year younger than I am. Laughing

My wonderful dear husband now weighs only 105 pounds less than I do (I've lost 80 pounds so far!)  I've put him on notice that my goal is to be able to steal his sweatshirts, hee hee hee! Laughing

And did I mention he's a handsome, dashing fighter pilot?

=^..^= MOLLY

Yeah, my boyfriend is 6-1 at 168 and I am 5-6 at 185ish...

He is so athletic and good looking...

but I think this...he met me when I was pleasantly plump and wanted to be with me then so he will really wont be able to let go when I lose 30 lbs...Kiss

We got gym memberships together...and we go together...and now we motivate each other

He wants to gain weight (190) and I want to lose it so I do my part by feeding him and he does his part by being the food police(in a good way) and helping me get to my goal

And yeah like someone else said, people look at us and it seems like they are saying, why is he with her....but I know it is just hate because I'm still gorgeous even with this extra 40lbs

 

I know exactly how you feel! One of my exs was 20 pounds lighter then me and super skinny. He was only about two inches taller then me too. So I felt so big when we were together :[ It got me really deperessed sometimes.
I'm 5'7", 250lbs and my boyfriend is 5'11" 170 pounds, rofl. We look fine together clothed but I feel like a manatee naked with him :(

I was definitely a good 20 pounds heavier than my ex-boyfriend (whom I was seven inches shorter than!). The latest guy I'm seeing is probably about the same weight as me and about four-five inches taller. Go figure.. I think it's the curse of being attracted to the tall, skinny fellows.

Anyway, don't let it get you down. There's no reason to compare your weight to you man's. Just like there is no reason to compare your weight to your sister's or your friend's or your second cousin's. We all have different builds -- and different relationships with food for that matter -- and comparing ourselves to others is not necessarily a healthy way of determining our feelings for ourselves.

That being said, I know being petite has come to be associated with femininity, but it doesn't have to be that way in your mind. Look at big, beautiful plus sized models if you're feeling particularly uninspired, or better yet, make yourself feel fabulous by treating yourself to a sexy new outfit or flattering undies. Something to make you feel HOT.

I am posting tis from a POV of a very good friend of mine, I am lucky as my BF is tall and big- not fat, but def not skinny and very muscular. However my best friend's partner is tiny, same height as her at 5'5, but small boned and slim. My friend is curvy and cuddly, with an amazing waist but all woman, big boobs and bum and a well rounded belly.

HER PARTNER ADORES HER!!!!!! My friend is unhappy with her weight and size, but from being outside the relationship I can see how truly in love her partner is with every part of her.

Maybe just goes to show that we are loved whatever our size. Certainly that we should change for ourselves, not so that we can match the size of our loved ones.

xx

When I started on this diet in June, my SO was 111 pounds lighter than me. How's that one??? And he still loved/s me. I now only weigh about 25 pounds more than him and I'm planning on weighing less by this summer. =)

He's also on about half an inch taller than me. Ok, maybe an inch.

I'm getting there and he's proud of me.

I know the feeling! My BF is about 2 inches taller than me, but I weigh way more than he does. I feel like a giant next to him just because I am so much bigger around than him...thats my true motivation to lose weight, to look better for him & to feel better for me.

Karen 

OMG my ex boyfriend was sooo tiny.  i mean, i was really thin back then too but his doc actually told him to drink slim fast shakes in between every meal so that he could gain weight!!  at the time i didn't even think about it cuz i didn't care about weight.  i think if that happened now i would flip out.  haha!

yeah...i always was attacted to nice, big muscular guys, and then i always end up seriously dating the skinny ones!

my bf fell in love with me when i was at my heaviest (a semester in beer drinking germany will do that to you!) when i moved back to germany i was in really great shape, then not working out for 6 months made me get icky. he's about 5inches taller than me, and we look good together and he loves my body (which sometimes i do too). he tells me all the time how much he loves my curves and that it only "gets hotter" now that i'm working out. even though he thinks that my wanting to lose 25lbs is a lot, he's still a great support.

i think i'll call him now and tell him i love him! haha

yes.my husband and i are tfe same heightbut i weigh 40 lbs more!he is very supportive of me and says he loves me no matter what.its still hard sometimes to be and eat healthy when around someone who can eat anything and not gain a pound!
when I first met my boyfriend I was 5'5 and 185 pounds, he was 5'9 and 145 pounds. When I gave birth to our daughter I weighed over 200 pounds (not exactly sure beacause i stopped looking)

almost a year later i lost all of the baby weight plus some extra and weighed 130 pounds. next to my boyfriends who weighs 150 pounds.

I am now thirty weeks pregnant and weigh 147, while he weighs 153 (I told him that he had to gain at least another ten pounds so that i don't outweigh him when I give birth...lol

I think the biggest thing that I have learned from all of this is that my confidence in myself was never really a reflection of how small or large I was and my boyfriends love was never a reflection of how small or large I was. True confidence and True Love have to come from something greater than your pants size or the number one the scale.

My boyfriend is a lower bmi than me... we use to be the same. I gained a little weight and he lost weight. I want us to be the same bmi again, hes gaining while I'm losing.

Hes 6'4" at 155 BMI 18.9

I'm 5'3" at 116 MBI 20.5

I still feel tiny because of the height. I guess its not really much of a difference but it still bothers me that hes lower.

53 Replies (last)
Advertisement
Advertisement
Allergy Remedies
Is It Possible to Go Natural?
The side effects of allergy medications keep some people from using them. Natural remedies can be a great alternative, but some are more effective than others.