Motivation
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Hey guys,

Just wondering, do any of the girls here date/married to guys skinnier than them? I do. I'm sitting at 175 and my boyfriend is barely 140. He's a skinny guy. I think he's adorable and I love him to death. However, him being skinnier than me makes me feel alot worse about myself. I know it's completely stupid and shallow to fall into the belief that "the boy should be bigger", but I can't help it. I can look at myself in the mirror and think, ok yeah I'm pretty chubby, but I don't look too bad today, and then I'll see myself standing next to him and think I look like a complete whale. Ugh.

It's not his fault, and I think he's fine the way he is. It's just that he makes me feel 10 times bigger than I am. I worry that even when I get down to my goal weight (140ish), I'll still be unhappy with the way we look together.

Sorry if this sounds stupid, just wondering how any other girls with this situation feel...

Thanks :)
39 Replies (last)
I know exactly what you mean....my boyfriend is like 6 foot 1 and is about 170 - 180....


It makes me feel weird sometimes that he's that much taller then me and weighs like 10 - 20 pounds less...


...but he loves me just the way I am, whether I loose weight or not. He just want me to be healthy :) so I don't really let it bother me.

my boyfriend is an inch shorter and only 6 lbs heavier.  The cutest little butt!  Makes me so self aware.  I know he loves me but said (when pressed hard by me) that he liked me better 10 lbs lighter. 
I am right there. My wonderful loving partner of seven years is 6'2" and when we weighed him he was 155 lbs (my heaviest was 205 lbs at 5'10")..... oh, my god do I feel fat next to him.

I swear he burns calories as he eats them. Of course I know why he has that high metabolism that most of his family has to begin with, he cycles 1 hour to and from work and works a super physical job for 8-13 hours straight, then spends his free time trying to get a dogwalking / dog training business going. I on the other hand have a desk job.

I've tried feeding him pasta until he bursts, leaving pizza's, cookies and ice cream for him to eat, but it doesn't seem to make a difference. He can eat junk food until the end of time and he doesn't gain a bit. I gain 5 lbs (water weight I'm sure) if I look at ice cream!!!

I would dump the bugger but I love him, and I know he loves me, regardless of what I look like. That's the most important bit, he started dating me heavy, has never said one bad thing about the way I look, never asks me to change and only seems to worry that I'm happy. How could I ever loose that?
supersized, my boyfriend is the same way....he can eat like three burgers and frys from mcdonalds and not gain any weight...


he was into sports and stuff all through highschool though and is pretty muscular...so I'm hoping as he gets older he'll start to gain a bit of weight LOL....thats really mean isn't it?
My husband is 6'2" and only weighs 155 pounds...he's skinny as a rail but in such good shape, cycles all the time and eats right. It doesn't make me jealous, it just makes me realise it's possible and gives me something to shoot for - literally in fact, as my target is 150! I want to be able to go biking with him and make him work to keep up with me for a change!

Try not to worry about it too much. Of course most women who have male partners want to be 'smaller' than them, but that doesn't mean the guys are thinking the same thing. In fact I'm willing to bet these skinny guys love us for who we are no matter our weight - I know my husband does and his support is one thing helping me in this. And if the guy doesn't feel that way - well, then it's time to find a new guy.
I think the other thing to point out is many guys feel very self concious about being "too skinny" just as being the "fat girl" can be a real stigma for women, being the "skinny geek" is a real stigma for men.

I think my partner and I do a real good job at really letting the other one know we find each other very sexy even if I think I'm too fat and he thinks he's too skinny, we think the other one is perfect and wouldn't trade them for anything.
I feel the same way silverchick, when I met my boyfriend 2 years ago I was 165 and so was he, but of course he is taller and therefore skinnier. I lost 15 lbs and then I gained it back plus 25 lbs more on top of that and he still loves me the way I am. I do however feel very self conscious sometimes when we go out that people must be thinking I'm too fat for him, but I'm learning to get rid of those thoughts because it doesn't matter what other people think. I'm losing weight for myself, not for anybody else, and my boyfriend has been very supportive.
I have a habit of picking up guys that are pretty skinny. My ex-fiancee weighed 40 pounds less than me (me at my lightest and him at his peak weight) and he was a foot taller than me. It bugged me a lot. We still loved each other though.

But now I am dating a guy that is only 5 inches taller than me and freaks out if he drops below 215 (it's all muscle, beleive me) and he's 5'7. That's a 60 pound difference between the two of us. It makes me feel less self-concious. I love it.
im ina relationship with a woman. she is the more masculine one, and
yea it bugs me that im 150lbs heavier and a foot taller than her. it's
hard to feel like the girl when there's that much of a difference
between us. i told her to start benching 190 and she goes, why? i said
because you better be able to pick me up when i hit my goal weight
woman! :)
I like skinny guys. haha Guess that means I realllly need to lose weight.
My boyfriend is skinny and eats everything in sight! He's 6'0" and is
maaaaaybe 150 lbs. I told him my first goal is to weigh less than him.
Sometimes I feel really fat around him, but I need to realize that I'll
never be smaller than him. We're built differently (Obviously.) He's
never once made me feel large or anything, and really loves that I have
curves. 
Hi all!

This post was so ironic, i had to reply asap! When i fist started dating my man 4 years ago, he was a bona fide sportsaholic. he would play bball, soccer, tennis, squash 20 times a week, and i was the one who thought reaching for the remote control was excercise enough. he was super fit (no doubt) and weighed around 180 pounds and is 6.2. Whereas i was 180 pounds and am 5.3. FAST FORWARD 4 YEARS: he is 240 pounds (not muslce!!) and i am 130!! So great. But i love him more than ever now!! He's not too happy with me though :-)
I dated a guy for 2 years, and I always weighed around 10 lbs less than him, but  he was super in shape and muscular, and I was chubby (in my eyes)  I started gaining weight the second year we were dating, so I was around 142, and he was at 150.  I never felt thin enough for him, even though he always told me how sexy and hot he thought I was.  We are still friends to this day, and he told me the other day on the phone that I shouldn't lose anymore than 10lbs max, b/c he thinks I look good with a nice butt and boobs haha.    So seriously, all guys preferances are different!

same sorta thing, I dated a guy this year who was like  6 inches taller, and weighed the same that I did.  He was super thin, but he is really fit and play sports all the time.  I felt pretty self concious, b/c I was at my heaviest with him (155).  He didn't care though.  He thought I was really hot, even though I was overweight.?  

so yeah.   I just want to also say.  You need to lose weight for yourself, and not for someone else or else you are extremely likely to fail. 
Yep, I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years and he is a skinny/normal body type. He is 6'2" and weights about 180 of course now he gained weight. He used to be 160...so even then he still beats me. And it drives me crazy sometimes when he complains about having a belly. haha He can eat anything he wants and maybe put 1 or 2 pounds in a month while I triple that number.

I understand about some of you are saying about not being comfortable being bigger than a guy. I felt like that for the beginning of the year. But I learned finally that size is not the only thing that matters. Even when I have gained 40 pounds he still finds me beautiful.  I know corny but true.
I am 5'6" and weigh 213 as of this morning. My boyfriend is 5'6" and weighs 140 soaking wet.   But I know that he loves me.  After our son was born, I was 265 and he was still proud to call me his woman.  You have to get the "I'm beautiful attitude", and don't let anyone take that from you.  There is always going to be someone thinner, prettier, wealthier, but we can't live comparing ourselves to them.  We are all unique.  Be happy with you.  If he loves you, hold your head up and be proud.  Good luck.
Yes, he is 5'8 and 150lbs.. Im 5'2 @ 160..lol.. He is a little framed guy aswell but it's all good.. He doesnt seem to mind.. 
This is such a coincidence that I just read this thread right now. My husband is sooo skinny and I know it bothers him. When I became pregnant I developed preeclampsia and gained 100 pounds, my son is 3 1/2 and this morning I weighed myself at 135.8, I actually made my husband come and look, and he got on the scale, hes 5'7 and weighed in at 137. I was so excited that I finally weigh less than him, even though I am only 5'2, and even though it is only 2 pounds. It has been a long road!
Andrea, I can so agree with you...for years now, I've weighed more than my hubby. And finally, I'm 1/2 pound lighter!! I've not wanted to mention it, but my goal has been to weigh less than my hubby!!

And, everytime I begin to eat right and diet... he just loses right along with me. This time, I put him on strict orders to eat up until I've lost another five pounds... then just stay on my pace :)
I'll blame it on the fact that I am young but before I lost weight, I dated a guy that weighed less than I did and it really bothered me. I feel that I discriminate against skinny men. Hopefully it is just a phase that will pass but I figure, I'm allowed to be picky if it makes me happy.
I can totally see where having a skinny boyfriend/mate could make one feel bigger than they actually are, or at the very least accentuate the way you look in the not-so-best of ways.

I think there are two things that can be done to help the situation.  1)  is to either look to lose some of your weight, so the accentuation is not so noticeable.  2) Suggest to him that you both join a gym and bring more execise and quality eating habits into your lives.

Doing so would enable him a chance to gain some weight (lean muscle that is), and give you a chance to lose some of that unwanted body fat. The end result would be better health, and a not so lopsided looking couple.

-Todd
Edited Aug 18 2006 21:05 by Erik
Reason: Please no sigs
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