Someone who cant stop talking about me negatively.

       &nb sp; I have a women at work who works in a higher position then me. Ever since I started at the company two years ago she has said horrible things about me behind my back. She is at least ten years older than me and I have tried to ignore it and maybe she would stop....

     Once I lost 50 pounds it got worse. She has made up lies to start fights between me and my manager- we are very close. She has made comments about the way I dress, because I am stylish and I like clothes now that I am smaller. She has tried many different diets and send me emails asking me to help her with weight loss. When I mentioned this emails to my manager and she asks her about- she denies them and says "why would I ask HER for advice". At first I helped her despite her rude comments but then after all this I dont want to help someone who talks about me negatively to everyone in the office.

     I heard the other day she said "she needs to wear more clothes, her body isn't that great". She was referring to one of my bigger shirts falling off my shoulder slightly. Normally, I would be direct and say, what is your issue with me? She acts so nice to my face and is incredibly mean behind my back.

     I have tried to talk and connect with her. Now, I ignore her and she continues to pick on me. I feel like I am becoming so angry because she picks on me and I dont ever react. I hold it in

   What should I do about it? I feel like I can't make the harassment stop!

Original Post by mabenda0:

      "She has tried HCG and send me emails asking me to help her with weight loss. When I mentioned this emails to my manager..."

Hang on. Back the bus up. You're also gossiping about her to your manager.

Call a truce, take the high road and be mature. Working under those conditions every day is stressful for you, her, and everyone that hears it, day in and day out. It kind of sounds like you enjoy the drama...

Oh jealousy.

Did you know there's no better way to "get back" at someone than do demonstrate to them how happy you are? Happiness is a great thing. If you've ever had enemies the last thing they want is for you to be happy. If you're happy it doesn't matter what else anyone says.

I'd just ignore her and continue "doing you" as they would say in slang.

Mentioned that I was helping her get her diet together because she asked.

Unfortunately for you this woman has probably been a bully since grammar school and the odds of turning her around are slim. She may have no control in her personal life and having it in her work life makes her feel superior and powerful, a feeling she is not likely to want to give up. That said I have fallen vicitm to the same type of abuse more than once in my 25 years of employment. At some point I took a bully aside, privately, and confronted her with detailed examples of what she was doing and how I perceived the acts and how I wanted her to STOP and she actaully stopped. That's the thing about a bully, if you call them out, it usually takes the fun out of it. If she doesn't stop after the one on one request that request your manager have a sit down with all three of you to work out the tension. If the manager refuses after you have made multiple attempts to rectify the situation you have to decide how to handle from there. Ignore the bully? Find another job? Go to your HR Department and file a grievance? Hope this helps. Sorry for all you are going through; been there, done that, no fun I know!