I don't know if this is just me making a big deal of things but I really, really need to vent so here goes.
Tonight my husband baked his favorite beer bread recipe, but got started late so we didn't have dinner until 9pm. I was starving by that time, but managed to keep it to two slices. I logged the recipe into CC, and my two slices yielded 530 calories.
FIVE HUNDRED AND THIRTY CALORIES .... for two slices of bread.
And it would be unrealistic of me to tell you that those two slices did not get eaten without fixin's.
I was dismayed but not upset. I casually mentioned to my husband whether he could perhaps find another recipe that wouldn't be so calorific. He got sooo defensive and kept exclaiming "...but it's only flour, yeast and beer! It's just bread!!"
NOW I'm just mad. Why did he need to respond like that? It's not like I pointed a gun at him and commanded him to find another recipe. If he didn't want to, he could've just said something like "...but I like this recipe" and I would be fine with it.
I just didn't have the energy to argue about it, especially not over food... when food is clearly only *my* problem. Then I got more mad as I remembered my in-laws dousing the nicely laid of plate of fresh sliced raw onions and tomatoes with at least a 1/4 cup of olive oil and sprinkled on so much salt... ridiculous.
"But it's good for you!" they tried to get me to lap it up along with them. This is another thing that frustrates me to no end, living with my in-laws. Yes, olive oil is good for you but not when you USE SO FREAKING MUCH of it to cook/make salad dressing/coat food/etc. Ugh.
Yes, I can make my own meals but you know that feeling when you live with your in-laws, you don't want to be using up too much of the food *they* buy for the household to eat. No, they don't restrict me on what I can eat but I just don't feel nice making my own meals when they've prepared something for everyone (including me).
I don't ever bring it up because I know this food problem is MY problem. It only concerns me, frustrates me, occupies my damn mind all the time. I just feel like I have no support. They know I'm watching what I eat ... the part that frustrates me the most is that they try to help out by cooking more veggies for us to eat, yet douse them in so much oil... you know, the good kind. Olive. There's practically like a 5mm pool of oil on every dish! When I try to scoop it off from my bowl, they question me.
As for the beer bread, I'm retiring permanently from it.
But help me, what to do all the other times?
Hi there! I really feel for you. It is hard to stand up for your health when no-one else has your issues. I am in a similar situation. Fortunately, my husband listens to my needs and supports me. Even so, there is always a lot of food in my house that I should not be eating because of my father-in-laws taste in food. Funny thing is, he is diabetic and I am insulin resistant so we should be on the same kind of diet. Lately, I have taken a stand and simply make my own food when he wants something I shouldn't have. Anyway, I think it is wise to avoid the beer bread or just have it on rare occasions. As for the veggies doused in olive oil, maybe you could get your in-laws to let you take out a portion before they smother it in oil and salt. Stay strong. Some day your living situation will be different. I am sorry your hubby reacted negatively about the bread, but maybe something else is bothering him and he chose to take it out on you. Perhaps you could amicably discuss things with him. Try to get him on your side about health so you have his support in convincing your in-laws to let you eat the way you need to. I wish you the best of luck and lots of strength!
Regarding your in-laws' habit of smothering food with olive oil, how about you offering to cook those foods and then you can take out your servings before the smothering begins. It is a difficult situation and I hope you can foster some understanding on the part of your family. Try explaining your desire to become healthy and ask for their support. They obviously misunderstand the "healthy" use of oils. Anything to excess is unhealthy!!
Feel free to vent here anytime. That is why this community is so powerful!! Blessings to you...PJ
The loaf only made 8 servings? I feel like our beer bread makes more than that - at least 10.
Here's the recipe we use (the things we don't add are mostly because we seldom have those on hand):
2 3/4 c all-purpose flour (we do ~1 3/4 c whole wheat, 1 cup white)
2 Tbsp each sugar, baking powder
1/4 c ground flaxseed (we don't add this)
1 tsp each salt, dried basil, dried rosemary, thyme
1/2 c unsalted sunflower seeds (we don't add this)
1 Tbsp cooking oil
12 oz beer, at room temperature
Mix all the dry ingredients.
Remove from pan to cool some more.
i hope you did go ahead and cry for a few minutes in your pillow. what a bummer. i have the luxury of being single and when i think about "doubling" that's one of the things i think about, how it would be to have to live with someone with different eating habits (that are bad for me). I think the one person had good idea to offer to do some of the cooking.."ummm this smells so good. here--mom, let me slice those beautiful tomatoes and onions -i'm just gonna put a few over here for me without the oil and salt, i'm just about on target today to reach my goal. Some folks feel guilty when someone around them is eating a clean diet and will unconciously sabotage your efforts. stay strong. your'e in my prayers.
I live with MY in-laws too and it's REALLY REALLY HARD. They are a freakishly skinny family, a packet of cookies will last a month in their house (I don't even buy cookies since they last less than a day with me.) Meals aren't particularly unhealthy (although I hear ya on the olive oil) but the food is BOOOORING. How many roast chickens can you eat a week?? I'm a creative cook but they won't eat anything out of the ordinary (fish is faced with suspicion) and I feel awkward cooking meals just for me (even though no one else would eat what I cooked!)
It's also very hard since (if you're like me) you are living with in-laws who aren't charging you rent or anything else. Add guilt into the mix and it's a right mess.
Anyway, just wanted you to know I feel for you. I'm doing well for today but have really struggled in the last few months living with them. Just trying to stay strong and stay out of the kitchen and AWAY from the cookies! Good luck to you!
i wont even ask
AAAAARRRGGGGHHHHH I just spent over half an hour typing an update to my situation and when I clicked "Post Reply" CC lost the whole thing!! *cries* Here it goes again… :(
Thank you so much to each and every one of you for your support. Your words have comforted me a great deal and I had waited a little while before replying here because I wanted to have an update to report back with.
As per your advice, I have upped the frequency on cooking for everyone, although quite many a day they beat me to it. Nevertheless, some days were successful, others were not. For example, the other day I was cooking plain white rice (among other things) and my MIL came up to me by the stove and took it upon herself to pour in some oil. "It will help the rice not stick to the pot" she said. WHYYYYYYY!
On another occasion, I had loaded our steamer up with salmon and vegetables and left it to cook. 40 minutes later I come back, my FIL chirpily informed me that he took the liberty to addsomesaltpepperspicesbutter to everything to "enhance the flavor". WHYYYYYYY!
Just last night I had prepared some baguette and fixings for everyone's dinner (I made sure to make my tomatoes and onions separate). My FIL got excited and offered to make some hummus. Grea--oh no. I heard the "glug glug glug" to the chickpeas in the blender. I bet you can guess what made that sound. To top it off, once the hummus was done, he poured a pool of oil above the hummus saying "it will keep it from oxidizing". Needless to say, I had none that night. Still, I wouldn't say last night wasn't a success… I still managed to have a baguette sandwich which fit my needs. I just missed out on hummus, and having more tomatoes if I wanted to.
The only time they don't intervene is when I'm baking. LOL
The thing about these incidences is that it made me realize that there's only so much I can do about this whole situation. Someone mentioned guilt of living with in-laws that don't charge you rent? Yep, that's me… which also makes me feel like a horrible monster for whining about the clash of our dietary habits. Sometimes I feel like such an ingrate… and that's why I bite my tongue more often than I would like to. I don't want to trouble them with my problems.
I wish they were like what someone else mentioned… that they were all gifted with speedy gonzales metabolisms… but they're not. My MIL is a ridiculously picky eater (olive oil however, seems to be at the bottom of her food pyramid), exercises 5 hours a day, everyday and eats next to nothing. She's really fit. My FIL is obese and has diabetes but eats like he doesn't have diabetes. As for my husband… well, this is the most frustrating one. He used to be really overweight but managed to lose it all some years back and has maintained an active lifestyle since. Strangely, he also has no qualms about dousing everything in oil. I don't get it. You'd think he'd be more sympathetic towards my dietary needs… him having been there himself.
As much as I hate to admit it, as long as I'm living under this roof, I'm just going to have to adapt to the way things are done. Adapt accordingly, without me losing out completely. Honestly, without gym, I think this already difficult balancing act would be so much worse. How so? Well, one circumstance that immediately comes to mind is that I often go hungry at night because I've had to compensate (read: really restrict dinner calories) because of a calorific lunch. I put on 20lbs living with them under one year before I decided enough is enough.
Right now I'm at a point where if they make lamb stew or breaded fried fish (no less than twice a week without fail) or anything I probably shouldn't eat, I'd just wait for them to finish eating and clear out from the kitchen before I go ahead and prepare something quick for myself (sandwiches, usually). That way they don't realize I'm not eating what they've made. I guess it's a good thing they don't often sit down and have meals together. It's sad that I have to resort to this, but it's the only way I can stay sane.
Once again, thank you guys, for your support and having listened to my problems. I'm truly grateful.