Do you ever wonder...
If you had a perfect body double and saw them walking down the street, would you think "Wow, I wish I had ___ like that!" or "Man, she is rockin' those skinny jeans!" or "She looks just fine in that swimming suit - she shouldn't be self-conscious."
Its hard to be objective when we're so often our own worst critics... I find myself wondering how much scrutiny I put to myself that other people would never see, purely because I'm the one in my own skin.
Do you every stand back and try to be objective about your appearance? What kind of compliments or kind thoughts do you give yourself when you approach it as though your own body was someone else's? :)
I wonder the same too. I used to be awful to myself, but right now I am comfortable in my own skin. I obviously have my own hang-ups, like I wish for my waist to be 23-24 inches but at 25 inches, I shouldn't be feeling down. I wish to be taller, but 5'7" is not a terrible height for me, considering that I'm Asian and my mom's real short (4'10")/my dad's real tall (6'2").
However, if I were a stranger, I would definitely be nicer to myself. I take care of my body the best way I can, I make the effort to maintain a healthy lifestyle... maybe I would give myself a good advice to appreciate what my body does for me and not focus too much on the negatives. Often enough, I find myself spending so much time fretting over the extra inch or pound when in the grand scheme of things, they are very insignificant.
I'm better off spending that time enriching myself with reading or something. It's so difficult for me not to be such a vain pot.
I'd say "not too bad for an ol' gal" :-) I see pictures of people my age and think I look a lot better than they do. And yep, i always wished i was taller, but since i cannot change that, i've learned to accept and appreciate my smaller stature (i'm only 5').
Wow, I never thought of it that way. We are way too hard on ourselves, aren't we? I'm learning to appreciate what my body can do, even if I don't see the changes I want to see. I have three daughters and hope I have helped them see the wonderful person inside and feel good about the outside too.
h,
i wish i could agree that the path that you are on will last but it's just to much work. You must do what you are doing now when you are 90 some time in between it will fail.
the idea you have created in your text has merit. i saw in a mirror one day through my own eye's my 'baby Hughy' (375lbs) body and it was over one year later i was 175lbs that was 43 years ago. get past the facade of what you and other people see and bring clarity in your minds eye as to that person inside you that you know is there and want to love. embrace that person, add the tools needed to love that person. do what it takes to be healthy at the age of 90 because that's the person you will be not the person you are battling know. apply all the accurate knowledge and you will acquire the wisdom to succeed.
Boneman, live your life don't make it a battle.
Yes I do wonder. I am told that I have a beautiful body and that I turn heads when I walk into a room. And every once in a great while I see what they see. But most of the time all I see is what needs to be improved. It's sad that most women feel that way. If we are healthy and fit we should celebrate that and not worry about the size on the tag or the number on the scale or measuring tape. But unfortunately that is not what I do.
h,
do you see what you are saying. You are still searching for what they see. until you see your self in the mirror through what you see in that mirror you will still be crippled by the view of others.
do some research on the third feminist movement and don't swing to either side of the pendulum. try to understand what females strugled for and you will see it's not what what you think. speak with a woman who lived the times or read articles from woman over 50 who are sad at what there gender has twisted that strugle into.
healthy, fit again the view of others. happy and in love with the idea of love. try to attain the dopamine pathways because you will never get rid of the struggling pathways. so fall in love with your life and you.
boneman.
h.
your a long way away from that 90 year old you. love her now.
Boneman.
Boneman,
While I appreciate your sentiment, please do not take my post to mean that I do not love myself, or that I am not confident in myself. I absolutely consider myself a strong, smart, educated and successful woman - all things that I have worked for and to recognize. What I really strive for through CC is improved health. I will freely admit that I am not perfect and that there is always room for improvement both physically and emotionally - another thing I'm working on is seeing myself more objectively and being less critical.
That said, I am very proud of the person I am, regardless of my physical appearance. I would argue that I had to work on loving myself internally before I had the strength and love for myself that allowed me the willpower to better my health so that the person on the inside can make the most of their time in this life.
The intent of this thread was to encourage others to be less self-critical, which, I think, is in a round-about way what you are also encouraging. It is important that we love ourselves first and foremost for the people that we are. Part of coming to that peace with yourself is learning to overlook your very minor (but self-critically recognized) flaws. That's all I was shooting for here...
And I recognize that youth and health are finite and that what really matters is that you know / respect who you are. I also realize that to make it to 90, I have to take care of myself physically. Taking care of myself physically does not, however, mean that I only define myself physically. I am much more than a body, regardless of the shape that body is in. In an effort to make my body last as long as possible, I'm going to work hard to keep it healthy for as long as I can, even knowing that one day, I might not be able to continue doing so.
Thanks for your concern.
Actually, I'm kind of the opposite. It's almost like reverse anorexia. I look in the mirror and think, "Well, that's not so bad." But when I look at the scales and my clothes (and occasionally in a moment of truth when I either see myself unexpectedly reflected back at me or in a picture) I know I am way over my normal weight.
I wish there was a website where I could look at anonymous people who are the same height and weight as me so I could objectively see myself as others see me. I'll bet I'd push myself a little harder if I could see the difference 20 pounds would make with objective eyes rather than my easy-to-please, forgiving eyes.
Be careful what you wish for. Here are 2 sites:
Thank you for those links, Diane. I was amazed at how closely they tracked with what I thought I looked like! Maybe my eyes aren't so easy-to-please after all, but don't get me wrong, 20 [or maybe even 30] more pounds will still be wonderful to lose. Even though I was surprised at how little difference it made in the pictures.
At my height (5'8") the difference between 160 pounds and 140 pounds was not as huge as I thought it would be, but I'm still trying to get there.
Original Post by queenhotchibobo:
Actually, I'm kind of the opposite. It's almost like reverse anorexia. I look in the mirror and think, "Well, that's not so bad." But when I look at the scales and my clothes (and occasionally in a moment of truth when I either see myself unexpectedly reflected back at me or in a picture) I know I am way over my normal weight.
I wish there was a website where I could look at anonymous people who are the same height and weight as me so I could objectively see myself as others see me. I'll bet I'd push myself a little harder if I could see the difference 20 pounds would make with objective eyes rather than my easy-to-please, forgiving eyes.
OMG. i am like that too. i just sometimes wake up and say "omg, i'm still overweight". i just dont feel like it; but evrything else reflects that overweight me. sometimes that moment can stop me right when i start to feel like i could really change something for the better. i lose track of what i should be doing and i stay that way until i just...forget about it. :/ & nbsp; :sigh:
Original Post by diane1533:
Be careful what you wish for. Here are 2 sites:
Thank you SO much for these sites! You actually made my day by posting these. Looking up my height, weight, and sizes and seeing girls with the same measurements and such made me feel a LOT better about my body. I thought I looked MUCH bigger than these girls.
I know what you mean. I started a journey to become healthier about a year ago. My exercise has gone from 0 to about 3 times a week and my diet has greatly improved but my self image had not. I would go to group classes at the gym and stay in the back and pick out the girls I wish I looked like. Then last week I caught myself in the mirror and realized I DID look like them.
And this week I moved up to the front of the classroom. Maybe I am that girl.
h.
I'm sorry but I'm new to this stuff especially with all these woman. I will let you all know older hetero male don't talk about these thing. let me expand, i have very little need to examine my outer shell. i do believe the older men have the same view. I don't look in the mirror much. i don't feel the need to examine my outward appearance in the sense of the need for some sort of approval. Now in the last decade or so i probably looked in the mirror 100 time, maybe. there feels like there is something regarding vanity that i as a hetero male and my general generation resists. i also refuse pride. i don't want to love a country but i do believe it should love me. i believe vanity (vainglory) is bundled up into pride. i can go very far with subject. you must admit that a lot of this is pride.
i have never felt pride in the sense of the public here. but i didn't have any therapy until i was 61 a year ago. I never thought i needed that because i am known for throwing everything on the table and creating a positive outcome then moving on, hard love. so talking in depth is not what i that needed to do with a unbiased individual. probably my pride kept me from it. i try to let you see how deep it is, pride.
this is therapy, the last time i can say i truly looked in the mirror was 1969 i saw myself inside me, your double ganger, that was true me. at that moment i externalized that person and i have been him ever since. that person was the person i wanted to be. i put all my pride away and no longer cared what people thought. i finessed on every piece of hanging pipe, all night long in my apartment. i fasted regularly. i barfed some times if i really over ate. i directed all my thoughts to become a better me and never looked back. i studied when i was hungry. i replace any thing that triggered a desire to eat. i was been married for about 6 years to a woman who was almost a foot shorter then me and weighed the same weight as when i started and she just sat and watched me do it.
boneman, experience the breeze, by looking at the trees.
I once saw myself in a mirror and thought it was someone else but said to myself...
Those sexy, tight buns, like two bowling balls in a satin pillowcase!
j/k
