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I'm a desperate former Housewife (widow) looking for any and all suggestions that do not entail diet pills, or any type of stimulants, and that can be used by diabetics type II.

I need tips on how to get started, what to eat, how much to eat (I'm currently big as a house), how often to eat, and what to take with me when I have to eat on the go, which I have to do a lot as a full time student.

Any suggestions that have helped you be successful would be greatly appreciated. I really need friends that are in this battle with me. All of my friends are married, and just slightly over wieght. I am way beyond that, although 16 years ago, I had no weight problems whatsoever.

Thanks in advance for your support!

Exsurfergirl53

I don't know much about diabetics, but I will give you a few general diet/exercise tips.

1. Don't try to eat too little.  If you try to go crazy with a 900 calorie diet, as soon as you switch back to 'regular' eating, your weight will just go back up worse than before. This site has a tool that will recommend how much you should eat.

2. Make sure you get some exercise.  Even if you can only manage to walk around, do that.

3. Since you are so big (as you said), the first pounds will probably come off very quickly. Eventually it will slow down, but you shouldn't feel discouraged by that.

Good luck

I tried to respond to your e-mail xiaoyu21, but it was all scrambled and typing sideways. 

At first, because I had no experience with weight loss, I tried every diet on every magazine cover, you know the diets that are right next to the try our new 9 million calories per bite chocolate cake (guess which called my name loudest?).  Anyway, for every pound I lost, I put on 3 until I reached 328 at my peak weight.  Now, I'm 295 and trying to take each 5 pounds lost as a major victory.

I'm surrounded by friends that "get fat" when they put on 5 pounds and work like dogs (their words) to get it back off.  So instead of weight, they love plastic surgery, the eternally 30 look. 

It's frustrating when they say, things like, join a gym, eat more salads.  If I eat another salad, I swear my nose will twitch!!!  And join a gym, I can barely walk into the market without sucking wind, forget about circuit training.  give me a break, I've got to start from scratch.  Just sit and be fit is a lot of work right now, but I can do that much, and build from there.  I just don't know what to eat.  I'm kind of a Paula Deen cook by nature (Southern) and everything has butter, sugar, flour, or cream cheese, or heavy cream in it.  And let's not forget the bacon grease for flavoring!

I'm learning to lighten up, like make jambalaya with boneless/skinless chicken breasts and low fat turkey kielbasa instead of pork sausage, and double the veggies and half the rice (1/4 c. for a whole pot.  I'm also trying to cook for 2 or 4 instead of 8-10 people.  Big changes, and I need all the support and suggestions that I can get. 

Is there anything that anyone has found works good like South Beach, or I heard about a book called "In defense of food" that says don't eat anything that your Great-grandma wouldn't recognize; in other words, all fresh and natural foods.

Anything you can suggest would be appreciated.  Thank you all so much!!!

I didn't have much to lose (30 pounds but that seemed like a mountain to me when I started too) but one thing that helped me this time after so many failed attempts was that I was finally ready.  How did I know that?  Because I was ready to list all my excuses for why I was stuck where I was and replace them with healthy choices.  I also was able to look at my failed attempts and take what worked from each to come up with my own successful lifestyle.

I say with the utmost respect and with the intent to support you but you have a lot of excuses, girl!  Maybe you are just in information gathering mode, trying on different strategies before you move into serious weight loss attempts.  Give yourself permission to experiment with different strategies and hey, if something is working that you can stick with - go with it but otherwise, try something else.   

Losing weight is elementary: consume fewer calories than you burn.  HOWEVER, how you accomplish (and over an extended period of time) this is different for everyone. 

Take an inventory:  Do the calculators here to determine how many calories you should be eating and how many you are burning in your current lifestyle.  Where in your day do you get stuck (eating on the go?  Letting yourself get too hungry?)?  Ask yourself the hard questions... why am I eating this right now?  Start small.  You need to be a student of your personal habits and for every unhealthy habit or excuse why you can't do this, you need to replace it one by one with a healthy one.  Do you need to make an investment in fitness equipment, health club membership, cooking classes (whatever) - and, if so, how can you prioritize your finances to find room in your budget?  Do you need organized support like a Weight Watchers or something? 

These things entail getting your mind right strong before you move on to the body.  This was my biggest accomplishment. How can I not use food to meet needs, how can I not get defeated by being disorganized etc. 

Then, this is what I did:  Tracked calories religiously (and honestly).  Weighed myself once a week at the same time and tracked it.  Ate limited variety at breakfast and lunch but not at dinner.  I had a few breakfasts and a few lunches that I would alternate but it made shopping and meal prep easier.  Ate one protein, one fruit and one dairy for breakfast.  Ate one protein, two veggies and one dairy for lunch.  Ate one more fruit throughout the day.  Ate one protein, one veggie and one dairy for dinner.  I, personally, cut bread, potatoes, rice, pasta out completely and ended up not missing them.  This helped my mood and energy level more than anything.  Drank a TON of water.  I did belong to a health club where I walked on the treadmill and did circuit weights for a while but then I moved it all to home.      &nbs p;       

You are making the first step but don't get discouraged if it is a longer process than just getting set up on a specific diet or something.  It IS do-able.  I wish you the best of health!!! 

Tracy