Someone in the gym is avoiding me because everytime I see him, I can't really control the expressions of my face. He is big, huge with a lot of muscles. To me, he looks scary. I try to not show him that I am scared but my face tells everything.

He noticed that. He actually tried to talk to me just saying hello but I pretended that I didn't hear it.

Now, he is avoiding me completely. did I offend him? should I say hi or just leave it like that. maybe that is better LOL

Ha ha....might have been my bf, that's what he looks like  and he's as gentle as anything.

I would speak to him, make a joke of feeling a bit scared of his muscles or something.

Cause you probably did offend him and I bet he is a really nice guy.

I think you probably offended him.  Nobody wants to be looked at w/fear -- especially if you have never even spoken to him.  And being a big guy doesn't make him dangerous -- the term "gentle giant" came from somewhere.

Next time you see him, say hi.  You don't have to be his friend (but who knows, stranger things have happened), but you can be polite, at least.

I swear I didn't mean to offend anyone. I try to be nice with everyone. As a matter of fact, I was hoping to make friends in the gym. BUT, I just can't control my feelings. I try to not look scared but I am one of those people who can't hide how they feel. As I said, my face tells ALL.

I feel bad because I didn't want anything like that to happen. I don't know what to do.

Damn I hate when ppl pretend they did not hear when I say hello at the gym. :) Oh wait, I am not that bloke from the story and I am not hugely muscular either... :)

Take a botox injection to control the face and tell him about the issue, have a laugh together, apologise and make another friend. Gyms are full of people obsessed by their ipods these days and the more friends you can make, the merrier.

:)

G'luck.

Ca

hey Surek, why should I apologize?

Honestly, I am just afraid he might not be nice with me if I approach him.

He is really huge. I have never seen someone like that my entire life.

If he tries to say hi to you again, just say hi back, if you think you can control yourself not to look freightened. Honestly, I would practice my looks in the mirror in order to avoid these situations. A little self control and common curteousy added to that, you'll be alright.

Its kinda like 'think before you speak' but instead 'think before you look'.

I bet he will be nice, just tell him you were a little unsure of him, seriously speak to him.

My bf is 6'2 and the last we checked 220lb of solid muscles, all his friends are similar/bigger and they are all very nice, quiet and totally non offensive to everyone, it's just a hobby for them to build muscle.

Well, whenever I make someone uncomfortable, I tend to apologise to people.

Tell him this:

"Hey <name>, apologies for the other day when I was not sure if you had spoken to me or not.

Please do not mind my puzzled faces when I see you, but I had only seen so many well defined muscles on magazines (that will make him feel better, I would)."

Either way, try to get the situation sorted as this can result into an unconscious barrier to go to the gym. :)

All the best

Surek

#8 totally good way to go about it.

i don't understand what you're even scared of. this is a guy from the gym, not some dark, deserted alley. what do you think can happen in that setting?

lippygal, he will never say hi again. He is avoiding me. I know that for sure.

anndjoe, in the past few weeks, I tried to workout next to him, once he sees my face, he leaves the whole area.

I don't know. I really don't understand. is that because he is upset or he thinks that I am chasing him??

Original Post by safina1:

lippygal, he will never say hi again. He is avoiding me. I know that for sure.

anndjoe, in the past few weeks, I tried to workout next to him, once he sees my face, he leaves the whole area.

I don't know. I really don't understand. is that because he is upset or he thinks that I am chasing him??

 Alright then, its a non-issue.  Its up to you if you wanna work on your facial expressions for the future.

why do you even care?

Surek, I don't even know his name. And YES. you are right. It is an uncomfortable situation in my gym. I don't think it is appropriate to talk to him about this incident now because he tried to say hello several months ago. it is not recent.

Original Post by safina1:

Surek, I don't even know his name. And YES. you are right. It is an uncomfortable situation in my gym. I don't think it is appropriate to talk to him about this incident now because he tried to say hello several months ago. it is not recent.

 

wtf, several months ago? its history, get over it.

it is uncomfortable. that is all what I can tell you. he comes every evening. I see him avoiding me everytime. I just didn't want something like that to happen. so I thought I should post here and ask what do you guys think?

Original Post by safina1:

it is uncomfortable. that is all what I can tell you. he comes every evening. I see him avoiding me everytime. I just didn't want something like that to happen. so I thought I should post here and ask what do you guys think?

 Stop looking at him.

Original Post by safina1:

lippygal, he will never say hi again. He is avoiding me. I know that for sure.

anndjoe, in the past few weeks, I tried to workout next to him, once he sees my face, he leaves the whole area.

I don't know. I really don't understand. is that because he is upset or he thinks that I am chasing him??

 I think you like him deep down, or this wouldn't be bothering you  when it happened a while ago.

I would walk right up to him, with a smile and say "Hi my name is < name> I just thought it was about time I introduced myself as I see you here quite often" and let him take it from there. He doesn't think you are chasing him he saw the fear on your face and doesn't want to scare you anymore.

Original Post by anndjoe:

Original Post by safina1:

lippygal, he will never say hi again. He is avoiding me. I know that for sure.

anndjoe, in the past few weeks, I tried to workout next to him, once he sees my face, he leaves the whole area.

I don't know. I really don't understand. is that because he is upset or he thinks that I am chasing him??

 I think you like him deep down, or this wouldn't be bothering you  when it happened a while ago.

I would walk right up to him, with a smile and say "Hi my name is < name> I just thought it was about time I introduced myself as I see you here quite often" and let him take it from there. He doesn't think you are chasing him he saw the fear on your face and doesn't want to scare you anymore.

 That sounds reasonable enough, but since she's scared of him and the whole thing is making her uncomfortable after several months is why I suggested just not looking at him in the first place. Good lord.

Original Post by safina1:

it is uncomfortable. that is all what I can tell you. he comes every evening. I see him avoiding me everytime. I just didn't want something like that to happen. so I thought I should post here and ask what do you guys think?

i think that he probably thinks that you're rude, especially if you keep looking at him. seriously, you should get over it and move on.