Hello everyone!

I recently moved across Canada from Ontario to British Columbia. Part of the reason my boyfriend and I moved so far, was to get closer to nature and further away from box malls and burger joints in hopes of living a healthier life. In London, Ontario we both worked at a call centre which consists of sitting all day and usually our time off was spent sitting at home 'relaxing'.

So, I now don't have location as an excuse of why I am not getting out an being active. I have lots of parks around me, mountains and I've found a community centre near by. I've created a meal plan for myself and for my boyfriend who said he would go along with it.

I went about a week and a half, doing all the meals exactly how I had them planned, but my boyfriend never stuck to them. I'm not trying to make his lack of support my crutch, but I am in a difficult finanical situation right now, don't have any friends in my new location and my family are far away and not being very supportive of my efforts, either... plus, I am a fish out of water and its easy to go back to my same lazy, unmotivated comfort zone. (Though, it's really not very comfortable)

I think what I am asking for is just general help, friends and support of people who understand the struggles/ups and downs of changing your lifestyle. I know I have the control to do it, on my own but to get momentum and to start out strong, I think I need some support.

Feel free to give me suggestions and tips that have helped you and add me as a friend if you'd like. Thanks for listening!

Changing your lifestyle takes a lot of motivation.  The odds are not good that both you and your SO will get it at the same time.  Most of the people on this site are going it alone.  Sometimes after seeing sucess after months of work, our SOs will decide to try it too, sometimes they never do get interested.  That is why we are here.  This is our support group.

My husband is impressed by my determination and progress, but he hasn't done much himself.  He will go bike riding with me, and doesn't complain too much when I don't want him making a dessert, but he still lives on pizza and makes faces when I want to cook fish.

Just remember that you are doing this for YOU.  Not anyone else.  And no one else needs to be involved.  Your boyfriend will make his decisions in his way.  And being male and probably young, he can probably lose weight just by walking and eating a little less.  Stick with your meal plan.  Keep active and encourage him to go along.  Have fun.  Come to us for support.  Stick with it and you will reach your goals.

You're right. It is up to me whether I am successful or not and if I wait for my bf to catch up with me, I may continue to loose momentum and motivation.

clharr....I couldn't have said it any better.....you've taken a huge step, it's not easy moving away from what you know...so well done and remember we are always here

Thanks for the support :) Yeah, I think being more active on this site as well and logging everything will help me see everything I am doing to improve my life.

Congratulations on your big move!!! I know that alone must be a big stressor and motivation set back!!

You are making a good step by checking what your surroundings are so far with the parks...I know how you feel as far as wanting to go home and "relax" at the end of the day after work...I feel just as "lazy" too....lol....

Try to set aside at least one night a week to start going for a walk and see how you like walking through the park...that just might get you into a routine...then start adding another day during the week, etc.

Good luck

 

I agree with all of the above posters. It's gotta be right for you and only you. Personally I'm enjoying going it alone. Making myself accountable has been so ........fulfilling! Make a plan of attack and stick to it. Then the bragging rights are yours alone and that feeling of accomplishment with each milestone reached is just awesome. Oh, & a great big WELCOME TO BC!!!!! I moved from Alberta to BC in 1996 and I can't imagine living anywhere else now. I ♥ BC!

I too have a husband and family who are not willing to join me on this path. It would be wonderful if they did but I have learned that I can't make or expect people to change for me. I can ask, and they might even agree, until it becomes too uncomfortable for them and then I'm on my own.

You have found this web site where there are people who have also chosen to take this path for themselves. Walk with these people and let your BF tag along if he wants to. I think you will find that you don't need his support because you have taken care of yourself and found it elsewhere.

They've said most of it...

There's no law that says your SO has to eat what you eat.  My husband and I hardly ever eat the same thing.  I eat my measured out fruits, veggies, fish, etc.  He eats whatever.  If he wants to eat what I eat, I'll make enough for us both.  If he doesn't, he has to find his own dinner.  I don't make dinner twice!

However, you do have to have enough self-control to not eat what he's eating.  My husband is eating a huge spoonful of nutella as I type.  I don't touch it even though I'd love something sweet like that right now.  Maybe I'll plan it in tomorrow.

At first my husband continued to offer me seconds, bites of his, more or this or that, another beer...  Eventually he told me he hadn't thought I'd stick with it.  Once I convinced him (by doing) that I was serious, he really started to help me.  He doesn't offer me anything anymore.  If he wants us to splurge, he'll ask me the day before if I can plan in a pizza, ice cream cone, or whatever. 

Keep at it, and eventually he'll come around.  Even if he doesn't, you'll feel better about yourself.

ohh, you sound like me all over the place...i have no one else dieting with me, no one's really supporting me in my diet plan except my boyfriend...but he presents more of a problem than he knows by keeping fatty foods around me :[ He is tall & ultra thin, so he doesn't have to watch his intake & eats whatever he wants in huge portions [like cheese dip & chips- my kryptonite] while i munch on salads, fruits & veggies :P so that makes it hard, i'm tempted to eat whatever he's eating, but here's a trick i use to keep me on track: i find pictures of my goal size [clippings out of magazines, usually!] & i have always have one taped to my full length mirror & another on the fridge door, that way when i have those foods in hand that will destroy all of my efforts, i'm reminded of what i'm striving for & it makes it just a little bit easier to stick to my food plan :]  i also have one of my idols [bettie page] as my computer background, since i have a nasty habit of munching on all types of sweets & junk food mindlessly when i'm online...looking at the figure i want keeps me from stumbling :P

i would also recommend trying to fit a little yoga session in there between waking up & going to work: it's very relaxing, it may be hard to get yourself going when you first wake up, but wait 10 minutes, then do atleast 15 minutes of yoga & you will feel a difference...it will get your metabolism going, give you a little more energy & the day will seem less stressy! 

My friends here on calorie count are my best support system.  My husband is finally getting into it now that I've been at it for over a year, but he still encourages me to miss workouts, leave the gym early and eat ice cream.  I have a saying I tell myself "Build others up and let others build you up, but don't let them bring you down."  It's great to get support from others, for example, we all want a perfect workout buddy - but if that buddy wants to stay home, go anyway".

I've been slowly encouraging my husband to get healthy.  I'm careful not to nag or demand, it has to be his decision.  I've been being a good example and slowly suggesting better options for him.  When he decided to (finally!) give up sugar soda, I was so proud. 

Clharr said it best!  "Changing your lifestyle takes a lot of motivation.  The odds are not good that both you and your SO will get it at the same time." 

You have gotten some good advice here!  I agree that this is something you probably just have to jump in and do on your own.  When I first started (Jan 2006) I was still with my live in boyfriend.  He tried to lose weight along with me, but we had different commitment levels - there were a few times when I was on the exercise bike and he was eating a buckt of KFC right next to me!

I think its great that you want to change your life and have taken such big steps (moving!) towards it.  Explore your new city, see what it has to offer, and take advantage of it.  Find out what classes are in that community centre, try to join a walking or running club (exercise and friends!), go to the park or take up roller blading. 

As for support, I get a LOT of support and strength from my 'friends' here on CC.  Add a few people to your buddy list, journal when you need to get frustrations out, and keep at it!  The tools here are great for tracking progress and that alone is a HUGE motivator!! :)

Agreed with all of the above!!  My SO is "trying" to eat better but failing.  He eats ice cream every night, I kid you not!  At first it was SO hard to not eat it but I started buying kinds I don't like (mint chocolate chip - ick) and eventually I didn't even have that much of a desire for even my favorite kinds.  Occasionally I'll crave some chubby hubby but very very rarely.  And as for pizza or chinese, I get a personal pan cheese pizza while he gets a large stuffed crust meat lovers pizza and we share cheesy breadsticks.  I usually eat 1-1.5 and he eats the rest.  Or we make our own pita pizzas and he can have sausage and tons of cheese and I have just a tiny bit of cheese and turkey pepperoni.  So you can still have the same thing but each in your own way.  After a while it will just become second nature and the thought of seconds just doesn't occur to you even when you watch b/f eat seconds and thirds.  hopefully he'll come around and follow your example, but if not, that's his decision.

As for the exercising, maybe you can both try something new together and find something you both enjoy.  Or just do your own thing.  I do Pilates/Yoga (PiYo) in the bedroom twice a week while he playes video games.

Good luck and definitely stick with the site, there are some amazing people on here and you really start to feel like a family after a while!  I depend on my CC friends to carry me through the ups and pull me back on the wagon after the downs!

welcome to BC :) Where are you located?

It's tough as a pair for sure... just remember why you're doing it, for yourself. As you see progress and your guy sees how happy you are with the changes he'll either follow or you'll find a balance between the two of you.

Personally, my guy is thin and seems to be able to eat whatever he wants so I make modifications to our meals. where he might have a side of pasta, I'll sub in half veggies with mine, or cheese on his stuff, and not on mine. There are lots of little substituions you can make :) Oh, and I also only let treats he likes in the house if I don't like them! lol

Original Post by djkitten:

Oh, and I also only let treats he likes in the house if I don't like them!

Yeah, I do that too. Baked tortilla chips? You bet, bring 'em on in.... yuck.

Everyone here has posted some wonderful things.. Moving to a new place brings a lot of motivation. That's a great move by the way. To get away from all the mall's and fast food joints, is a good thing. My suggestion to you is to start a thread to find out who is on CC that is in BC. Maybe you will find a few close to you. New friends doing the samething. Trying to lose weight and live a healthy life style.

Boyfriends really are supportive, they just do it a little under cover. Mines has been very supportive now in my weight lost. I have been on a lot of diet's with him as my support system, and he will always say.. We'll see. This time around I lost weight, and I've kept it off for a year, and all I hear is good things from him. I started to hear the good things when he started to really see the change of habits. We went hiking a few weeks ago, and he was so happy. I wanted to go, and not only that. He likes stuff like that. We started to find balance, and with that balance we both get what we want. I get a great hike out of it, and he gets to do something he wants with out me B-ing about it.

He will come around and give you the support you need. But until then, you have all of us on CC- giving you the support you need along the way.

Welcome to CC, and I hope you enjoy BC.

Take care, Hopefully when the cost of everything stop going up.. I will see BC.

Everyone has given you some really good ideas on how to be successful for yourself.  I just might add that it is dangerous to wait on motivation because it might never show up.  Think committment instead. Weight loss is not done with a quick fix but with committment. Set your own goals and be committed to reach them.  Good luck.

I moved across the country last year with my fiance for his job and even though I'm in graduate school, I still don't have very many friends!  Money is also tight since I am in school full time.  In the past 8 months (since I bought my wedding dress) I've lost 54 pounds.  Basically, I spent my days alone, waiting for him to come home and entertain me and doing mountains of homework.  I took all the "I don't have friends or anywhere to go" free time and put it into diet and exercise!  Don't worry if your boyfriend can't stick with you.  You CAN'T change him, he needs to change HIMSELF.  Just do what you know you need to do to change your life and your body for the better and eventually he'll catch up with you!

Thanks for all the helpful posts!

Yes, I will think committment instead. I'll think of it this way ... if I am able to commit to my boyfriend for 2 and a half years, who is a man, who lets face it can be a challenge, why should my own body which I have 100% control of be a problem? It shouldn't be a problem, but it certainly is a challenge, but one I am ready for. I'm excited that I have found a new workout buddy who has similar goals, which will make it easier to commit. On my own, it would be only me keeping tabs, so having someone else's support and supporting them in the same way, will really help me.

BC is wonderful, I'm happy I moved here but there are some major differences here. Grocery stores drive me nuts here, because I feel like I am running around like mad finding things because the organization seems random, or at least very different from how it is in Ontario. I use a list and I would rather be in and out of the grocery store then taking forever with general confusion of where to find things and reading labels for all the brands that are new to me. I think it might take me a while to adjust to this change, along with the price increase!

I'm trying my best to find healthy, budget foods, so if anyone has any suggestions let me know. I'm going to get a slowcooker, so I can throw things together that way.