Young Calorie Counters

Now, I have control over most of my eating habits. I may not buy the foods, but I can request. I do my best to work with what I got during the day to keep my calorie spending at a good rate.

Dinner.. it's a whole different story. It's a whole frustrating different story. It's the kind of story that makes you want to rip the book in half and.. punch a baby! Okay, maybe not punch a baby. But it's a very frustrating story.

I've made it clear to my parents "Hey guys, I'm.. watching my weight now. Your dinners aren't helping me. Please let me prepare foods on the fried food days." So they agreed. But on days when they think they 're preparing "healthy" foods, saying "no, sorry, you kind of messed the food up" would be (at least to my dad) a lot like saying "Guys, I'm starving myself. I am anorexic. Please try to make me admit my bad lack of eating. Also give me lectures on how to eat, as I obviously cannot feed myself. Woe is I. Thank you."

As much as I love their effort, and I love the food, they slather EVERYTHING with butter. Veggies? Putter those suckers! Rice? MORE BUTTER! Meats? What was I doing.. Oh.. Yeah, this pound of butter? It's going right on that meat. It'll be great.

I'm not even sure how much calories I'm eating at dinner alone because they just.. put so much butter on the veggies and rice and stuff.. It's really hard on me. To limit myself to a couple hundred calories during the day just so I can eat a "normal" portion of this food they prepare for us would be ridiculous.

I feel hopeless. Why?:

- If I comment on the butter thing, I get a lecture from my dad about eating. "You know, you need some fats in your diet to be healthy." and he goes on and on and on...

- If I take less food during dinner time, I make them think that I have an ED. Not true at all.

- If I prepare my own meal, my dad gets really offended and is again suspicious of me having an ED since his sister had an ED when he was growing up.

It's so frustrating to do your best all day and then be forced to eat something that could ruin it entirely just so you don't have to put up with the crap you get for sticking up for yourself.

In conclusion: I'm a coward.

How do you people deal with your family's eating habits? How are your dinners? What did you do to stick up for yourself? Got any advice for the lost las in a sea of woe.. errr..me and my current problem?

Hey kaybug -

I completely hear you. I'm 25 now (and have been out of the house 6 years, owend my own home for 3, and have been married for 2) and my parents (mom particularly) are the same way still to this day.  If I even so much as mention going for a jog, hitting up the gym, or show up in a bathing suit or tight fitting clothing I'm 'anorexic'. If I go to the washroom after a meal, I'm 'throwing up'. I am neither anorexic or bulemic @ 5'3 and 115 lbs. I am healthy.

They get angry when I refuse a can of pepsi or when I second guess why they marinated veggie skewers and chicken in an entire bottle of full-fat salad dressing. (lol!)

When I was a kid it was always meat + potato + canned veggies + BUTTER. (lol - felt the need to capitalize like you!)  It was awful. I was 10 - 15 lbs heavier then, than I am now.

What I did, and it has worked somewhat was start cooking for them. My mom was depressed and hated cooking so I began preparing family meals. I learned to bake with alternative ingredients, to cook without excess fat and oil and she started to actually enjoy it. Now a days, I try to have them to our house for dinner and they always 'rave' about my food - I make spaghetti (whole wheat) with homemade sauce and light parm (serve it in a bowl with a spoon) so they don't see the 'light' on the shaker, etc.

Show them you are enthusiastic about cooking, meal prep and nutrition. Bring home legumes, nuts, cereals, and other clean foods. Show them the fat content (ha ha) on the back of the labels. Make a grocery list for them with the products you love to eat and that are healthy (or go to the grocery store with them and pick stuff out) - they can't argue you have an ED when you're initiating food purchases.

Most of all, stay positive. DOn't get frustrated by them, realize they come from a different planet and consider them the same way you think of the other generally uninformed people in your life - be kind even though you don't understand their points of view.

Good luck - message me if you need a pep talk!
Heather

I guess I come at this from a different side.  I'm a mother with a husband and two young children.  I'm strugging to help everyone eat healthier.  I have found that I love the recipes from cookinglight.com.  You should look for some your family may like and ask your dad to give them a try with you.

:) Oh well... my parents are completely different, they were the first ones telling me I was getting fat and they would ask me to eat less or something different if what they're having is too fatty... which is not great either because of the constant pressure. But then again, they will be pleased once I'm back home with my healthier eating habits (they haven't seen me! been studying in the UK for the past year).

Nevertheless, I absolutely understand what your saying. Didn't read all the posts but I second what clairelaine said. Also, maybe could be somehow easier to ask your dad not to put butter in YOUR veggies, meat, etc? That way you're eating with them but just without the extra sat fats. I know how parents can be when you're growing up/ from a teenager point of view but you have to remember that they're not trying to hurt you, sometimes you just have to explain things better/more/differently. Like explaining why is it a bit different to get your fats from an avocado instead of a buttery piece of pork.

And to okie (I think that is correct), yes, some people respond that way, I've read some posts here from CCs that are getting the same reaction from cousins/friends. And it happens in life, not just with weight loss. Maybe if you're more open with her and ask her to "put less peanut butter because you're trying to eat healthier" or include her when you're going to prepare a healthy snack for yourself. If she feels like she's part of that good thing that you're doing she will probably stop acting as if she's against it/you, that is by not missing out and you could get a partner for this journey, she's your sister so... it's worth trying harder.