I'm posting this just as a "Who's in it with Me?"- I'm not ranting, venting, screaming, crying, or laughing- or; maybe all of these within the same breath.
I cannot lose weight. I cannot focus on losing weight. My brain is totally filled with "need to do's", have GOT TO DO TODAY's, "get out of the house on time", did I pack the baby's bottle", "will I get to work on time", will I pick my kids up on time".....
and so forth.
At the end of the 11 hour work day I arrive home with my two babies only to start third shift being bed time. By the time I get them into bed I'm laughing, crying, and raiding the fridge for a piece of chocolate to neutralize my adrenaline from tantrums and to control my hormones from wanting more children. I have an hour to myself where I flop- cannot MOVE my poor body; all to wake up at 5:30AM to start it all over again.
Did I mention the hard schedule of 9-5 in the office so I can't take more than 30 min for lunch so gym is out of the question?
What are some working mom's normal and doable solutions for excercise? Partnered WITH alone time?
Love my girls- not liking the body! But still loving everything about my life! Most days.....
Reason: Removed sticky 12/13/11
"What are some working mom's normal and doable solutions for excercise? Partnered WITH alone time?"
Ha!!!! That's a joke, right? It's hard to get even one or the other... Both? You like to dream big Vanessa!
For me, I've found that the only time I have to work out or be alone is when nobody else is awake.
I have boot camp before the crack of dawn for working out (class is from 5:30 - 6:30, but I get there by 5:00 to run 2 miles with the other runners).
I get back from boot camp by 6:36 a.m. I hop in the shower and my husband is usually leaving for work when I'm getting out. I park on the couch by 6:50 a.m. for a blessed 30-45 minutes of Tivo and breakfast. Sometimes my daughter wakes up before I even turn the t.v on and I want to cry. (I'm usually doing my hair and makeup at the same time).
I work 9 - 6, so when I get home, we eat dinner, then play for whatever time is left before the bath/teeth brushing and bed time rituals that get her in bed by 8. Then I do my best to be in bed before 9 in the hopes that I can wake up at 4:30 a.m. for the lather, rinse, repeat cycle that is supposedly the most rewarding job in the world that is motherhood.
- I tried to workout at the gym after putting my daughter to bed, but I don't have the willpower required to put a sports bra on after the end of my day.
Went back to work last year after being a stay-at-home mom for 8 years...I have 7 and 4 year old girls.
It stinks. It really does. There IS no free time. My best solutions (you know when the timing and emotions and budget, etc, allowed)...
- Make big batches of anything you make so you have plenty of healthy lunches from the leftovers. Spaghetti sauce, stews, that sort of thing it is just as easy to make twice as much. I've found frozen broccoli to be my lifesaver - even if I take leftover pizza, I take one slice and fill up the rest of the way on that lovely broccoli.
- I was fortunate to have my own area behind a tall cubicle wall - so I would get up and do some deep squats or toe raises or whatever every hour or so. Just to keep the body moving all day helps a lot.
- Spend 15-30 minutes wrestling with the kids (or chasing or playing ball or whatever) when you get home. Anything fun that leaves you panting for air. They love it, you love it, it is exercise and family time and destress time all rolled into one.
Alone time...ummm...not every day. Weekends they go play outside or in the basement for 30 minutes to an hour without needing me.
My consolation - at least they WANT to be with me now. In the not so far off future I will be looking back on this and wishing I had it again.
boy, that is a really tough schedule...getting up at 530a to make it to work by 9...that is a huge chunk of your day. Is it kid time? commuting time? what's the scoop with hubby?
I do the early workout thing, too, but your day already starts so early.
I guess my advice is to make incremental changes. You don't have time to get sweaty at lunch...just go for a walk. You don't have energy to get a full workout in at night...start with sit-ups and push-ups. Any time on the weekends? Any possibility to get to a gym with kid care 1 or 2 nights a week (order pizza on your way home!)
I totally understand the stress relieving nature of chocolate...but plan that too: small servings, healthier choices can help. For me, it used to be the wine I "needed" at the end of the day...slowly but surely, I cut that out.
Hugs!!! Good luck!
Vanessa, you constantly amaze me with your crazy schedule!
I also exercise in the morning before anyone is awake. 5:30am at the latest is when I start, in the shower by 6:45 and we're out the door by 8:10am. My alone time is after the kids go to bed (between 8 and 8:30; we get home between 5 and 6). I can still get in 90 minutes-2 hours before I have to hit the sack.
I have a lot of help from my husband: he takes my son to "daycare" (aka my grandmother's house) because it's close to his office. Because of this, we've decided that it's my husband's responsibilty to get our son ready in the morning while I get our daughter ready (I take her to school or summer camp because it's close to our house/my office). It also helps that my husband and son leave 45 minutes before my daughter and I. So much easier getting ready with a 6-year-old as opposed to a 2-year-old around.
I know your husband is gone often, either on business trips or working long hours so I'm not sure how much he can help out in the mornings/evenings. Is it pretty much impossible to depend on him being around to help out (no offense) since his schedule seems to be erratic?
I know how tough it is to balance life when all you want to do is spend more time with your kids. It almost seems like it's never enough time with them! What about weekends, though? I know you probably want to spend all of your time with them but if you could work out on Saturday and Sunday while controlling your diet throughout the week, I think that would be sufficient.
By the way, I have a piece of semisweet or dark chocolate every day. Sometimes two pieces. I just make sure I have room for it in my calories.
Hi Ladies! Love the ideas- and thank you!
Husband helps when he can on weekends; but not on weekdays. I've accepted and moving on. He does travel a lot.
Today we started a Weight Watchers At Work program- so I can do my meetings at work! I've never done WW before but this seems like the perfect time to keep me motivate but AT work- so that's good.
I work in the Chelsea Market in NY- same building as the Food Network.....shall I go on?
I'm chaning my 3PM walks to get coffee OUTside of the building so I can take a short walk around the block with all banks on it and NO fresh brownies, cookies, gelato, caramels..... etc.
I am going to charge up my mp3 player and start walking a little bit more during the day. Maybe I will get off my train a stop earlier and walk a few blocks. Every little bit counts, right?
Bier- thanks for the chocolate scoop. I have started getting dark choc- I don't like it; but it does satisfy the craving. Kinda glad I don't like it so I don't want to eat the whole bar. I've started buying the Organic Chocolate bars that are pre-cut into squares so I can allow myself 1-2 pieces and not go over board.
it's so hard! But its nice to know I"m not alone in this!!!
I am in the same boat as you! Get to work by 9, hour long commute. Dinner and bath time takes most of the evening. On the nights (wed + friday) my hubby gets the kids i am tackled the minute i walk in. Can not even put my purse down and pee before the, "can i have...." begins. I would not trade any of it for the world, except for maybe my large behind- haha.
I have yet to figure out a good balance. The kids are 3yrs + 4 months. I think I might just have to wait until they are older.
@emcgettigan I totally feel you. I am uo by 5:30 (if I am lucky, just so tired) and need to be out of the house by 7 to drop the kiddy off and be on the train by 7:30. Then an hour on the train and 20 min walk (thankfully) to get to work by 9. Then the reverse which get's me home no earlier than 7, and that's without picking up the kid. Then it's cooking dinner, tubs and prepping for tomorrow. With some awesome separation anxiety I don't get a moment to my self until 10:00 at the earliest.
My walks are crucial as they are my only form of exercise at the moment. ALthough the heat and rain have been taking those away from me lately. I also throw in some pushups against the sink in the bathroom if I know no one is around.
I know I could get up a half hour ealier, I am sure I could go for a walk when I get home (and see my daughter for even less time) but I am just too tired. I love people who say you can always make time. In reality I get that it's there. But what about my sanity??? I need that time to give my brain and body a break.
Oh hey, while were at it. Let's throw on some working mom guilt while we're at it. Ha ha
Original Post by secretgeek17:
@emcgettigan I totally feel you. I am uo by 5:30 (if I am lucky, just so tired) and need to be out of the house by 7 to drop the kiddy off and be on the train by 7:30. Then an hour on the train and 20 min walk (thankfully) to get to work by 9. Then the reverse which get's me home no earlier than 7, and that's without picking up the kid. Then it's cooking dinner, tubs and prepping for tomorrow.
Oh hey, while were at it. Let's throw on some working mom guilt while we're at it. Ha ha
Yep. Exactly. To a Tee.
Exercise is one of my 'need to do's'. It's not something I squeeze in when I can find the time, I MAKE THE TIME.
@ambereva: I just snooped around your blog briefly and what an inspiration. Congratulations on all of your hard work! I see that you have 2 girls. Do you work full-time out of the home too? If so, I would really appreciate a time-line. WHEN do you work out enough to maintain your figure/health? What does your day look like? Personally, I do not know any thin women that work full-time and maintain a family. I was sitting in my book club the other day and I looked around the room. There are 9 of us and we are all 40+ moms. Those of us that work are fat and those of us that don't are thin.
Your situation is EXACTLY like mine.
Grabbing things out of the fridge in a hurry because the baby's crying, your 12 hour day ended. the 4 hours overtime wasn't enough the 3 year old running circles, and the 6 month old needs to be fed. I TRY to reserve an hour a night for personal time (I tend to pass out on the couch and lose that) Exercising..is... an attempt? I'm trying, I really am.
I am exactly with you. When you do not get in the house until 7, who can up and leave for a run. We have kid play, dinner, Tubbies, bed time. Then it is 10:30. My kids wake at 6.
I try to not raid the fridge. Since i know i have little to no time for exercise i try not to eat much. Some days i do better than others.
My son does like to do exercise with me some nights, he lasts about 20 minutes into a kickboxing or pilates tape. That can be fun. The 4month old has to be in a good mood also for this option to work. Don't get too hopefull he only likes to do this about 1 time a week.
dam. i'm tired! lol
I know I'm late to the party, but what I've found works best for me and my little one is joint exercise. And by that I mean he goes in the baby jogger and naps, I run. Or he goes in the bike trailer and he naps, I bike. (seeing a pattern? when do i get my nap?) I do this after a full day of work. My day goes something like this: 5:30 up (shower, pack lunches, etc.), 6:30 kid up, 7:20 all of us out the door, 4:30 off work but 40 minute commute, pick up kid, home by 5:30, snack (we're late dinner eaters), 6-6:15 out the door for a 30-45 min. run or bike (depends on the heat), 7-7:30 dinner, bath, kid in bed by 8:30, house tidy'd by 9, and it leaves me one hour of 'me' time before bed at 10. Between my schedule and my husbands, we can't seem to find time before the kid's bedtime for me to get workout time (save for the weekends). At first we talked about him watching the kid while I ran, but it never panned out and I finally just figured out how to make me happy and healthy. Despite the late-ish cat naps he catches in the jogger or trailer, the kiddo goes to bed right on time. Now that it's getting darker ealier and colder I've slacked on the exercise, but I'm trying to get regular about it. I've come to the conclusion that through the winter, I'm just going to have to get up at five and run. :( oh well. Momma needs it!
It's such a relief to hear these things!
I work a compressed week - M-Th 7 AM - 5:30 PM, DH and I are up at 5:15 (usually....), DS up at 6:00AM, out the door by 6:45, dropped at work for 7 (DH takes DS to daycare), 0.5 hour lunch, leave work at 5:30, bus + walk home for 6:00-ish. Get in the door, help DH make supper, eat, DH goes to his second job, I do bedtime routine, finished that by (hopefully) 8:00PM, then housework and volunteer commitments (grant writing, proof-reading, etc) for 0.5-1 hr, try to be in bed for 9, lights out by 9:30 latest (usually!)
Fridays don't change too much becasue DS is up at 6 no matter what, we just have a gentler morning routine. Then I'm with him all day - running errands, doing fun 'boy-stuff', usually meet DH for lunch, home for nap (DS that is, I clean, tidy, prep supper, and try to get in any extra 'stuff' that needs doing) DH gets home 5:30-ish, we eat, hang out as a family until 7-ish when I go out to some PT work, home between 10-11PM. Repeat Sat and Sun, minus my PT work but add DH's second and third jobs...
I have to save up work breaks to get my hair cut! I get 'alone' time when I can get a babysitter (or DH has the odd couple hours free), and that is spent doing errands that can't be done with DS in tow (like Dr appts!) Time to go to a gym or seriously exercise is nonexistant. I take the stairs at work, run to my bus stop, try to do yoga, swim or something with DS on the weekends. But it's all in small chunks and not high impact/strenuous, otherwise I don't have the energy for DS when he needs me.
BUT - by cleaning up my eating (oh, I do love my crapfood!!) and adding that much exercise I've managed to lose and keep off some weight - I was 164 after my son was born, got down to pre-pregnancy 140 by end of mat leave (one year), and have lost another 3-4 pounds in the two years since. Not anyone's idea of dramatic but I'm just happy it's not the other direction!
What worked for me was while I was pregnant, I took a train to work and walked from the train to the building (about 30-40mins) and back (30-40mins) then at night I did yoga (very light) to keep my muscles toned. After I gave birth, I breastfed, which burned so many calories, and 13 months later I'm still breastfeeding. I still do yoga every night. Just twenty minutes, I've added crunches to the mix now.
I found a job closer to home, well, not really but I drive to work instead of relying on a train schedule so there is some commute time lifted, about 20 minutes. My new schedule is:
4:45AM: Get Up.
6AM: Pack bags and pack the car, get breakfast ready to take upstairs. ( i know bad habit).
6:20AM: Wake up 3 year old. Give her her yogurt and snuggles. Brush my teeth, put clothes on, put hair up.
6:40AM: Get 10 month old. Give her bottle. (TG she can hold it now lol) I'll change her quickly.
6:42AM: PANIC. not moving fast enough.... -looks over to husband who's sleeping soooo soundly- I growl.
6:45AM: 3 year old goes into bathroom and demands hugs etc. We all sit on the floor w/ baby in boomba and have huggies. She finally gets on the potty and she gets dressed.
6:55AM: In kitchen for coats, carseats, socks and sneaks.
7:02AM: In car pulling out of driveway. Double drop off for pre-school, then take baby to sitters. On road to work by 7:30AM to get there at 8:15AM, leave at 4:30PM, get to Baby first around 5:20PM. Get to 3 year old by 5:45PM. Hugs all around. Bedtime done by 8:30PM. Then I pack lunch and clean up until 11PM.
Lather, Rinse, Repeat ......
Oh- and I haven't been able to fit in make-up in there yet; b/c it takes me some time to put my face on. So there are things that have suffered!!!!