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When an adult dates a 16 year old....


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What happens?  I was served with a subpeona today by a DA Investigator and spoke with the investigator about my boyfriend's brother (he's involved in the case).  He is 24 and dating a 16 year old girl.  Personally, I think it is totally disgusting.  He lied to everyone and told us she was 19 which we eventur Her parents know his age and are allowing him to live there AND she doesn't even go to school anymore.  They live in a wealthy neighborhood which makes this even more shocking to me.  What kind of parents allow their 16 year old daughter sleep with a 24 year old (with no job or car and does drugs) and drop out of school?  Anyways...I told the investigator about this and he wants the address of the parents.  What happens now?  Will he still be charged if her parents consent?  Having sex with a minor is illegal right? 
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Yeah, I don't think that if I did have a daughter, I would let her live or sleep with anyone of that age.. Or anyone in general!! 

I'm sure they'll go to arrest him, or question the family.  I don't know what your state law is where you're from, but, it's still illegal with parent's consent where i'm from.  I think it's not as bad with parents consent, but still illegal.
It's very illegal!  As far as I know, the parents don't have any say.  He'll be charged with statutory rape.  The sentence will be up to the judge, I think.  The parents might be charged as well if they know about it and do nothing.  I sure hope so!
It's illegal.  There is no such thing as parental consent for child abuse.  I would think that the parents should be a bit nervous too because I can think of a couple things off the top of my head that they could be charged with as well.
I agree with the others.  It doesn't matter if the parents consent or not.  She is underage.  The law is the law.

On a side note..that is just disgusting that the parents are ok with this.
I know of a similiar situation in my area except the male is 20 and the girl is 14 & pregnant.  Nobody knew they were sexually active until she got pregnant.  The mother of the girl is allowing him to continue to come around, use her car and stay the night when he feels like it simply because she doesn't want to make him made and abandon the pregnant daughter.  I tell ya some parents need a serious reality check!  Oh and I just wanted to add that I really don't see what living in a wealthy neighborhood has to do with anything.  Are you saying that you would expect this sort of irresponsible & neglectful parenting from low income or even middle class parents?  Not trying to start anything...just sort of pointing something out and wondering if this is truly how you feel?
It depends on state law.  In many states 16 is old enough to consent.  I don't know if this website is accurate or updated, but it may give you an idea.
shescraps - The question about the wealth of the family is a good one.  I think family problems span ALL walks of life.

That said, I don't think fallingstars really meant it like that.  I read in another post that she was homeless for a while... makes me think she'd think twice before judging people by their socio-economic status.
I was about to take a bite of my oatmeal when I saw this topic and I almost vomited in the bowl. This kind of stuff makes me absolutely sick. It is ILLEGAL for one thing and for another what kind of MAN wants to be with a CHILD. SICK! SICK! SICK! I feel so strongly about this I can barely even speak!

I agree with Plm0187. It is totally normal and natural to to stereotype. Doesn't mean it's right but it's somewhat instinctual, and according to my communications class it's even helpful at times. Stereotyping just gets a bad rap because people only know one side of it. ANYWAY, it's true EVERYBODY has problems. Sexual predators are EVERYWHERE and can be ANYONE: judges, doctors, lawyers, store clerk, paper delivery person, garbage pickup person, and ON AND ON.

I must say that I am SO HAPPY that this situation is being investigated. SO SO HAPPY! Hopefully he will go to jail where he belongs. This is rape. (Although I'm not sure if that cutoff is 14; it shouldn't be and I hope it's not.) That parents have NO say! These men have to realize it's WRONG -- it doesn't matter if the child "consents" or pursues HIM even! (And yes, I realize women do this to boys as well.)
Just wondering, what is the age of consent in the US? It's 16 here, and age of the person you're with is irrelevant once you hit 16. 
minbin - that's why I posted the above link.  All of the states have their own ages of consent, there isn't a uniform national standard.  It is 16 in many states, yet apparently many people seem to think it is 18 everywhere. 
Oh right, because and from this post many of you will disagree with my relationsiop but i was 16 when i met my husband and he was 31. But it's wonderful, and we get on brilliantly. My mum was alright about it, we had a good chat and she realised it was the real deal.

My word that's awfully confusing all those ages and details!
Minbin--the age of consent varies in the US according to what state you live in.  The most common ages are 18 and 16, and a (very) few are as low as 14 or 15.  Also, some states have what are known as "Romeo and Juliet" laws--basically if the age of consent is 18, and an 18 year old and a 16 year old have sex, its not against the law in those states--sort of a grace period.

Yeah, its sad that this 16 year old is with such a loser, and it would be better for her to be with someone who is in her same life stage, but calling this child abuse is a little over the top---Sixteen-year-olds are not children.  Hell, my mom got married when she was 16!
I honestly don't see the problem unless they have broken the law. If they were both 10 years older, no one would blink an eye.

Yes i agree that if they've broken the law something needs to be done, but aside that..
yea that's not good. shame on the parents for allowing a bum to live there.

i know the situation, but to a much more disgusting extent. my cousin who was 21 at the time moved from CA to texas to live w/ his girlfriend. he told us she was like 16 which was still gross to us. come to find out she was only 13. and her parents were letting him live there. That is beyond illegal and I am disgusted by that. It makes me worry about my younger sister who is the same age as his g/f and how he thought about her. It's just not a good thing.
minbin - ok, maybe if they were 26 and 34 noone would bat an eye.  but i can say i'm 30 - and when i was 16 - yeah, i thought dating an older guy was OK.  but when i was 24, i realized that 16 is SOOOOOOOOO young!  TOO young!  at 24, i certainly felt that dating anyone under 20 was, well, just not right. 
I know a case where a 30 year old got a 14 year old pregnant - perfectly legally. 14 was the age of consent in Canada until last year.

Now it's 16. Of course, since American criminal law depends on what state you're in, you have to be a lawyer to know whether something's a crime where you are there.
#17  
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That is a bit extreme... Being 17 myself, I find it very strange when older men will date younger girls. So many teens (and I include myself) are vulnerable and easy to take advantage of in the dating world... I myself have chosen not to date yet, but I have been asked out by much older men... About a month ago a 35 year old prof who knew my age asked me out O.o
Its kinda creepy and...... pathetic in a way? Cant think of the words... but a girl that young does not know what she is doing yet and hopefully doesnt have too much experience. I mean... A 30 year old dating an 18 year old seems pretty acceptable if its hollywood but this is real life and...... yeah... noooo!
i agree w/ got2loseit and niiko.  this just isn't right - and minbin - please realize there IS something wrong here.
there's a problem with a relationship like this because there's an inherent power imbalance.  minbin, i'm glad it's worked out for you, but it's not a good situation.

at sixteen a girl (or a boy, but let's face it, in these situations it's usually a girl) has limited experience and social skills, little income potential, has likely never taken care of herself, so doesn't have the confidence of knowing she'll be okay without him...there are so many problems. 

it happens so often: the girl has a fight with her parents, the guy says, "It's cool, you can stay with me," and she's stuck.  she's burned her bridges, or she's too stubborn to eat crow.  and the longer she's away from home, the less likely it is that she can ever go back.

this is a bit of a personal issue for me; can you tell?
lysistrata, I'm glad you brought up the differing ages of consent.  Some people are very mature at 16 and some are still horribly immature at 30.  Ideally nobody would be sexually active until they were ready, but that is not always the case. 

When I was in high school, a friend of mine just up and vanished.  It turned out that she had started home school because she was pregnant.  The guy was older than her (don't know by how much) and she was 16 at the time (not legal in my state).  Things have worked out well, though.  I'd never seen her so calm and happy as just after her baby was born and now, nearly a decade later, they are still happily married. 

The law does its best, but sometimes it can be flawed.  The situation Fallingstars brought up does NOT sound good, though.  I hate seeing good people with losers, really I do.


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