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Has anyone ever called you fat?


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Today I was walking my dog and 2 boys and 2 girls were walking our way. One of the boys (who I thought was going to ask to pet my dog) this little boy maybe 12 said "Your fat" and the other kids laughed. I ignored him and he repeated himself and said "Hey I said your fat!"

At first I was shocked. I had to keep it together as we had walked about 2 miles. As soon as I got home I went to my bedroom and cried. I stayed in bed for 7 hours. Slept some, cried some more and so on.

I am not sure how to process this and the tears are still coming.

Edited Sep 13 2010 15:47 by nomoreexcuses
Reason: Locked due to comments: Please avoid threatening other members, making inflammatory comments or posts, or using foul language.
75 Replies (last)

I have never been called fat (that I know of).  I guess I just don't get out enough, and I haven't been fat very long.  But I call myself fat every morning when I see myself in the mirror.  And then I go exercise.  Good news is that I'm less fat today than I was yesterday.  And that will be the case tomorrow, too.

It used to hurt my feelings when people called me skinny (when I was very skinny).  It's just silly to let this type of thing, get under our skin like that.  Work on toughening up your skin so the little things don't stress you out so much.  You'll live a longer, happier life.  It's hard.  I have to remind myself all the time to not let the little things bother me.

And by the way, that kid was just phishing for a reaction from you.  This is why he repeated himself.  I think you did good by saying absolutely nothing to him and not giving him the reaction he was phishing for.

Yes, I have also been called 'fat' before. It's an awful thing for someone to say because it really does stick with you for so long. I remember one of my friends CONSTANTLY calling me fat in 8th grade and it was one of the roots of my eating disorder I later on developed (from feeling self-conscious..insecure..lonely..those fat comments REALLY didn't help).

I am so sorry this happened to you. I would have been mortified and most likely would have done the exact same thing you did. Even though he was 12 doesn't mean the words he says are hurtful any less than they would be coming from someone older. I am sure you are an absolutely beautiful person. Weight means nothing, and anyone who judges people by it are the worst. Don't let some bratty kid ruin your day. I encourage you to tell yourself that you are a wonderful gorgeous person (you are!) and move on. It's even worse to dwell on things like this because it will only make you feel worse.

And a message for the people calling her 'pathetic': I'd just love to hear you take nasty comments from someone younger than you (or anyone!) and just 'blow it off' cause trust me, you'll feel hurt. Age has nothing to do with the hurtful words coming from that person. And what the heck? Why would you even bother to comment with something upsetting when she is explaining how upset she is? It's a very low thing to do and really, you guys aren't any better than the little brat in OP's story here. Do us all a favor and get out of a 12 year old snot nosed kid mentality. In my opinion, I think it's actually worse and more 'pathetic' to be of a 12 year old bullies mind frame then to be offended by one. kthxbai.

My mom (about 1 yr ago):

Mom: You're just getting fatter and fatter and you need to do something about it.

Me: Don't you think I know that? I know I'm fat. I have to look in the mirror everyday. I don't need you to tell me that I'm fat.

Mom: Well somebody needs to tell you!

I'm down 40lbs since then. I have another 15-20 lbs to go, to be at my ideal weight. I didn't do it for her. I did it for me.

I'm still angry at her for her comments but that's just the way my mom has always been and she'll never change.

Original Post by phoebe_luvs_smallville:

My mom (about 1 yr ago):

Mom: You're just getting fatter and fatter and you need to do something about it.

Me: Don't you think I know that? I know I'm fat. I have to look in the mirror everyday. I don't need you to tell me that I'm fat.

Mom: Well somebody needs to tell you!

I'm down 40lbs since then. I have another 15-20 lbs to go, to be at my ideal weight. I didn't do it for her. I did it for me.

I'm still angry at her for her comments but that's just the way my mom has always been and she'll never change.

Ugh, my mom did stuff like that to me in high school.  I had gotten out of rehab (I'd been a troubled youth) where I had put on a few pounds.  I worked to get them off and my grandmother told me one day how pretty and skinny I was looking.  Then my mum said snidely, "I was twice as skinny as you are now and she'd tell me how fat I was."  I know she was saying that because she was hurt that her mum gave her a hard time about her appearance as a teenager but as a troubled young girl you don't really wanna hear that kind of stuff.  She'd make comments in front of my boyfriend too, he came over one night and we ordered a pizza and watched some movies.  When the pizza came I put two slices on my plate and went to sit on the couch and my mum called out after me, "Only two?  I guess we're lucky, you normally eat the whole thing by yourself!"  Amazing how those kinds of things stick with you.  That's not the same as her just coming straight out and calling me fat but those sorts of comments made me really self-conscious.  

I've learned to just let it go in one ear and out the other, like I don't even hear it. Rude little pricks showing off for thier friends love attention of any kind, and awknowldeging them only re-inforces it. I just walk like I can't hear them and continue on.

I refuse to let my life be dictated by other people's bad behavior. The kid probably has his own issues and if you werent' there he would have found another target to annoy. I refuse to give them any of my energy as they aren't worth it, I have better things to deal with my time and energy, and I can focus on that.

I wouldn't alter my routine in the slightest, unless I feared for my physical safety.  Show no fear

Yes I am fat, so what.  I'm also female, bipolar and have messed up thumb, its part of me, some of it can be changed some can't.  His behavior is reflective of his problems, not a reflection of you. 

What can I say to all of you who are being decent and helpful? Thank You! Sharing your stories too has meant a lot to me as I tend to isolate when feeling alone and you sharing your experience gives me hope. Not sure if that makes sense just hope you know you walked me through a dark and ugly place and I feel as though I am getting to the other side and I admire you for your strength to be honest and good.

Original Post by beingvenus:

What can I say to all of you who are being decent and helpful? Thank You! Sharing your stories too has meant a lot to me as I tend to isolate when feeling alone and you sharing your experience gives me hope. Not sure if that makes sense just hope you know you walked me through a dark and ugly place and I feel as though I am getting to the other side and I admire you for your strength to be honest and good.

we all need support sometimes, there's nothing wrong with that.  And no matter how isolated we feel, we're never really alone.  We're all on this planet together!

I've been called just about anything and everything probably. Its funny when people, even kids, sense any sort of insecurity or see something they can insult on they see you as a target for their own insecurities, its true. Its sort of like maybe if I bring someone else down, I'll feel better and not feel like s***. And something about people in groups usually makes them do just about anything if they think they will gain the "groups" approval. It's pretty pathetic. I think the majority of people who are the type to do this, when alone would never even think of going there. I know even in the bible, people always had somethin to say when they were hiding behind a group lol

My whole family has called me fat since I was 11-12yrs old.  I was always under 100 until about the 7th grade, when I was 5'6 and 110.  I was ridiculed by my family at an amusement park one day after my mother announced that I was 110lbs.  I had to stop myself from bursting into tears and from that day on felt like 110 and up was too much. 

Now I'm older, 5'9 and 132lbs.  I am still tormented by my family about my weight!! For example, my 5'5, 92lbs sister tells me daily that I truly look to be 200lbs, and that's what people see when they look at me.  My profile picture is of me, taken only 16 days ago, and I don't think I look to be 200lbs.  My other sister, 5'4 and 112lbs, tells me that if I ever sat on her, I'd crush her ribs.  I remind them I'm only in the low 130s, at 5'9!  So...I've sort of stopped caring about what they have to say, and am trying to make myself happy for now.

Original Post by llemondrop2:

 

Now I'm older, 5'9 and 132lbs.  I am still tormented by my family about my weight!! For example, my 5'5, 92lbs sister tells me daily that I truly look to be 200lbs, and that's what people see when they look at me.  My profile picture is of me, taken only 16 days ago, and I don't think I look to be 200lbs.  My other sister, 5'4 and 112lbs, tells me that if I ever sat on her, I'd crush her ribs.  I remind them I'm only in the low 130s, at 5'9!  So...I've sort of stopped caring about what they have to say, and am trying to make myself happy for now.

 Wow llemondrop2, I'm SO sorry you have to deal with a family as delusional about weight as yours.  Your weight is perfectly fine, even a little low for your height.  I hope you realize that you're a GREAT weight for your height, and that your sisters have no idea what they're talking about.  They're both underweight, which is not healthy.  You should be the one lecturing them on health and weight, not the other way around.  Anyway, I'm glad you don't care what they think, because their thinking isn't rational.

Original Post by llemondrop2:

My whole family has called me fat since I was 11-12yrs old.  I was always under 100 until about the 7th grade, when I was 5'6 and 110.  I was ridiculed by my family at an amusement park one day after my mother announced that I was 110lbs.  I had to stop myself from bursting into tears and from that day on felt like 110 and up was too much. 

Now I'm older, 5'9 and 132lbs.  I am still tormented by my family about my weight!! For example, my 5'5, 92lbs sister tells me daily that I truly look to be 200lbs, and that's what people see when they look at me.  My profile picture is of me, taken only 16 days ago, and I don't think I look to be 200lbs.  My other sister, 5'4 and 112lbs, tells me that if I ever sat on her, I'd crush her ribs.  I remind them I'm only in the low 130s, at 5'9!  So...I've sort of stopped caring about what they have to say, and am trying to make myself happy for now.

I bet your sisters are jealous because you're so tall. I think you look skinny. I wish I was 132lbs and I'm only 5'5". You're skinny and tall enough to be a model.

My favorite is when my neighbor made me her barometer of fat. I had gained a lot of weight about 10 years ago. I got fed up and lost it all. My neighbor catches me walking down the street and says:

Wow you really look great. I have to get into shape now. I always compared myself to you and now you've lost it all!

Thanks.

OP, I'm so sorry that little punk said that to you. Chances are, he was just being mean to sound cool and didn't even mean it.  Either way, it sucks. Whether coming from 12 year old or 45 year old, it's hurtful. The only difference is I wouldn't feel bad about knocking out a 45 y/o for saying it.  It's a tough situation, but you did the right thing by not reacting to them. Kids like that are just begging for someone to show them attention, even in the most negative seeking ways.

Don't cry anymore, but if you do think you're fat, and you're overweight, do something about it. That way, when a little shyt like that says something, you'll know for sure their just desperately trying to seem cool.

I am so sorry. Kids that age are very cruel. Try to shake it off. They are going to tease people, even those that don't seem to have any reasons to be teased. It's just the age.

I agree though if your weight that does bother you consistently, maybe you can turn this into a way to do something about it. Sometimes that "I'll show them" mentality can be a good motivator!

I'd be willing to bet though it was just these kids being cruel and attempting to be funny/cool in front of their friends.

I had a cashier at Target ask me if I was pregnant. I was - but only a couple of weeks! My breasts were HUGE (even larger than usual) due to the pregnancy and I told myself that must have been what she was commenting on. It was pretty big blow to my ego to think I look that large that someone would think I was pg. I am a size 10/12 and while I know I could stand to lose some, I didn't think others perceived me as "fat." I tried to turn it around in my head by thinking, "well I am actually pregnant, even though I am not showing yet, maybe I am just giving off that vibe." It was still hard though.

Original Post by spirochete:

My favorite is when my neighbor made me her barometer of fat. I had gained a lot of weight about 10 years ago. I got fed up and lost it all. My neighbor catches me walking down the street and says:

Wow you really look great. I have to get into shape now. I always compared myself to you and now you've lost it all!

Thanks.

Hahaha, barometer, that's hilarious. I can only imagine her life: today sunny, but with a chance of a shower of pounds. Commuters are advised to get their umbrellas (cuz taking the car ain't gonna keep you skinny!).

I was looking at wedding dresses 4 1/2 years ago, when i was still in the top end of a healthy BMI.  My m-i-l says to me, "Are you planning to wear strapless or spaghetti strap?"

"I don't know, I haven't decided"

"Well, don't you think your arms are kind of meaty?"

Ah yup, and you just guaranteed what kind of dress I bought.  So glad i did too, it was 36 degrees on our wedding day, and I look stunning.

hmmmm... does this count?

 

One nice shinny day and in a terrific mood, I tucked my daughter into her stroller and off we went.  Decided to take a walk to the BX (store that’s on base, for those of you who don’t know what the 'BX' is

I was shopping and just lookin’ around at different things etc. and noticed two buddies hanging around near where I was standing.  They were moaning and groaning about how they were so “sick and tired” of eating at the food court all the time blah blah blah…  As they continued their conversation amongst themselves, it was clear that they weren’t familiar with this area (which is pretty common, considering that we lived on a military base filled with peeps from everywhere).  

Anyway, one of the guys tells his buddy, “Dude, we need to ask someone ‘fat’ where there’s some good food around here!”  His buddy replied back, “yeah, them ‘fatties’ always know where the best food is at!”

Five seconds later, who did they ask?   ME!   

Aaaaaaakkkk!!  I’ll always remember that feeling.  Man, talk about giving someone a COMPLEX!!  

My Dad called me fat since I was 12.  I was under 100 pounds.  I had 7% body fat.. and he called me Oatmeal legs and fat ass... in front of neighbors and friends.  No one ever came to my rescue. 

After highschool I Actually DID gain weight.  I was in an accident but that isn't really an excuse, I didn't know how to eat and I didn't know what a serving size was.  I was heavy for a while and My Dad meaner than ever.  BUT the day a STRANGER called me fat... it was actually my doctor.  He told me I needed to "stop eating pizza" and that was after I had joined CC in 2006 and had LOST 30 pounds!  I hadn't had pizza in 8 months at that point!  I told him that, and he said, well you need to stop indulging in ALL carbs.  That was the last time I saw that doctor.  I go elsewhere now.  Really?  A DOCTOR that tells me to skip an entire food group?  I don't think so. 

 

Original Post by dove2424:

My Dad called me fat since I was 12.  I was under 100 pounds.  I had 7% body fat.. and he called me Oatmeal legs and fat ass... in front of neighbors and friends.  No one ever came to my rescue. 

After highschool I Actually DID gain weight.  I was in an accident but that isn't really an excuse, I didn't know how to eat and I didn't know what a serving size was.  I was heavy for a while and My Dad meaner than ever.  BUT the day a STRANGER called me fat... it was actually my doctor.  He told me I needed to "stop eating pizza" and that was after I had joined CC in 2006 and had LOST 30 pounds!  I hadn't had pizza in 8 months at that point!  I told him that, and he said, well you need to stop indulging in ALL carbs.  That was the last time I saw that doctor.  I go elsewhere now.  Really?  A DOCTOR that tells me to skip an entire food group?  I don't think so. 

 

 Once a really overweight doctor told me I should eat like a diabetic. I asked him why and then he just pointedly looked at me. I was at my optimum weight! And I had just lost 25lbs!

Original Post by kathygator:

Oddly, no. I've been called many things, but never fat for some reason.

Unless I've simply blocked it out. heh.

 I've never been called fat either..but then, even at my undesirable/high weight, I wasn't technically overweight much less obese. I was just at the higher end of normal, and on my small frame, it shows a lot, hence I needed to nip that in the bud. And, I did.

Anyway..as for that smarmy little bastard..take comfort in knowing that one day, he'll mouth off to the wrong person, and that person will kick the living crap out of him.

 

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