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I'm just curious if anyone else can relate to this...

I haven't weighed in weeks.  Due to my circumstances and also some of my poor personal decisions, I've decided not to torture myself with a high number on the scale.  And I can tell, just from the way my clothes fit and looking in a mirror, that I've gained, which is frustrating.  However...overall, I actually feel much more confident and comfortable with myself.  I feel very accepting of my body right now, which is a new feeling.

I've discovered, though, that when I accept my body, I tend to stop working out and I start overeating and indulging.

It's like, the only real motivator for weight loss and "health" for me is body loathing. 

During weight loss, I tend to ridicule myself a lot.  I feel a general hatred for my body, because it never seems to change the way I want it to.  The harder I try, the more frustrated I am with what I look like...which pushes me to try harder.  It's not healthy, but I will maintain a lower weight when I am in that mindset.

Just curious if anyone else has noticed that making an effort to be more accepting of their bodies affects their motivation to lose weight.  Or does it push you harder??

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Actually, I've always been very similar.  There's always been a direct correlation between motivation and self loathing.  Once I start to feel OK, I get lax...  then I'm more susceptible to caving when life stressors present themselves.

I'm trying something new though.  It's not about weight loss for me anymore.  It's about being in control.  I hate that out of control feeling.  I don't want to feel constantly defeated.  I'd like to have a good relationship with food and my body.

eta:  basically, what I'm saying is I'm a stubborn ass-hole..  and I'm going to try to use that to my advantage now.

What you're saying makes a lot of sense, lp.

You accept your body, but you don't love it, so there's no motivation to make the extra effort to deviate from the habits that are so familiar to you after years of repeating them.

If you *loved* your body (as one part of your Self), you would feel motivated to take care of it:

  • to give it the best nutrition you can afford
  • to experience the kinds of movement that give you joy and energy
  • to provide it with plenty of chances to laugh
  • to pamper it with little pleasures, like a massage or a pedicure, or even just a solitary afternoon relaxing next to a lake from time to time
  • to make sure it gets enough restful sleep so that it can repair tissues and do all the work it needs to do over night

Imagine feeling overwhelming love for the physical body that has taken all your abuse (dieting, binging, sleep deprivation, stress, whatever else) and done its absolute best with what it was given.  It's not "perfect" because there's no such thing, but it has never failed you. It's your most steadfast companion, your best friend.

Maybe you can find a way to love it?  Eh. Something to work on maybe.

:)

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I always do this! I lose a couple pounds then I think I'm doing great, stop hating my ugly love handles so muchand then the next thing you know your back to square one! It's so frustrating!

These cycles comes from internal belief that working out, eating carefully are hard things that you must do, and that the reward for doing such things is being able to eat more, work out less.

Once you start looking forward to working out as pleasurable time to release your mind and energy, you'll think of them as rewards. Then your workout becomes routine that you don't want to miss.

Once you start thinking of eating unhealthy things as feeding your stupidity, then you'll look at the big slice of cake differently. Healthy eating begins from refusing to punish your body.

I have to say.. for me its the opposite.  I like myself now.. a bit slimmer..I didn't loathe myself ever.. but now its like hey.. this is pretty good.. And I don't work out.. really, I go for walks, thats it.   But now I am trying to eat better..because I like what I have.

 

 

It's amazing to me how different my mindset is away from the scale.

I am much less critical of myself...and of others, too.  I don't find myself being as jealous of women with nice bodies or as critical of those who are overweight.  I seem to be becoming desensitized to weight altogether.  It feels really good...other than the fact that I am gaining weight and can feel it.  And while I can say that I still think I look okay, I don't want to feel so good that I end up gaining all my weight back or even a good portion of it.

Cajun, that's good advice.  I've pretty much lost all motivation to work out recently.  I actually tried the other night to just walk for 30 minutes.  10 minutes in and I was bored and restless and gave up on it.  I think right now, I have so much going on and so much to do, it's hard for me to really set aside any chunk of time to exercise because that's time I could be doing other things.  So, I think the best thing is to start getting up early in the morning to do it again, since that's not normally time I would spend doing anything else.

Today my pantyhose are tight and my belly pooch is much more noticeable in this dress.  I feel bad about that...but not bad enough that I want to eat a salad for lunch.

Original Post by lostpumpkins:

It's amazing to me how different my mindset is away from the scale.

I am much less critical of myself...and of others, too.  I don't find myself being as jealous of women with nice bodies or as critical of those who are overweight.  I seem to be becoming desensitized to weight altogether.  It feels really good...other than the fact that I am gaining weight and can feel it.  And while I can say that I still think I look okay, I don't want to feel so good that I end up gaining all my weight back or even a good portion of it.

Cajun, that's good advice.  I've pretty much lost all motivation to work out recently.  I actually tried the other night to just walk for 30 minutes.  10 minutes in and I was bored and restless and gave up on it.  I think right now, I have so much going on and so much to do, it's hard for me to really set aside any chunk of time to exercise because that's time I could be doing other things.  So, I think the best thing is to start getting up early in the morning to do it again, since that's not normally time I would spend doing anything else.

Today my pantyhose are tight and my belly pooch is much more noticeable in this dress.  I feel bad about that...but not bad enough that I want to eat a salad for lunch.

This will happen to me every time when I have some thing that nagging in my mind that I must do. However things are much different when I use the walking time to focus my thinking to solve a problem.

For example, living near the swamp, I've been having a lot of problems with bugs (gnats/mosquitoes/spiders etc.) around the house. I pay $30/month for bug spray around the house and it's not nearly enough. The county mosquito control spray at my house once a week and it's not nearly enough. The local pest control people ask for $60/month for their "No mosquito" solution. My lady is sick and tired of dealing with the bugs.

While walking this morning I thought through all the information I've researched in the past few days and finally arrived at a solution that would cost me around $15/month total and would require no equipment investment if things work out for me. So I wound up saving $15/month and would have superior bugs control than what the pest control companies & the local government provide. It's not a sure shot but I think I have a high likelihood of success. By the time I thought that through, I've walked almost an hour without knowing. The coffee cup afterward was nice. I arrived at work with a grin on my face.

The only issue with using your walking time to think is that your focus will not be on the road so wherever you walk must be a safe area. For me it's usually my treadmill. I don't recommend running while focus-thinking, it distracts you too much to be safe.

Original Post by lostpumpkins:

I actually tried the other night to just walk for 30 minutes.  10 minutes in and I was bored and restless and gave up on it. 

I think right now, I have so much going on and so much to do, it's hard for me to really set aside any chunk of time to exercise because that's time I could be doing other things.

I separated the two points above because I think they are important issues that should be addressed separately.

Why do you think you were bored and restless?  What pressures are you imposing on yourself that distract you from the sensations of your body's movement, the feeling of your breath as it goes in and out, and the scenery around you?  Do you think it would help you in other areas of your life if you could stop the constant bombardment of the thoughts in your head?

I also understand the second point.  I put off my lifting routine last night because I had to go to the store to pick up ingredients for a pot luck dish I needed to start, and then I needed to make bread dough; the time just gets away from you, right?  I know your son's bday party is coming up and you have myriad other things to accomplish.  But isn't taking care of yourself (and that means exercising and eating right) important, too?  I know it feels selfish to spend time on something like exercise when you have all that other stuff to do... but how can you take care of someone else when you aren't taking care of yourself?  Someone on this board recently used the oxygen masks on airplanes as an example.  You have to put your own oxygen mask on before you assist others with theirs.

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