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my best friend kissed me and idk what to do!


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so i've known my best guy friend for about 3 years. we really started hanging out a lot this year and became closer.. as friends. he would always flirt with me a little and i would play along, but it wasn't anything to serious. so the other day he came over to hang out and we were sitting on my bed downloading music on my laptop and out of nowhere he goes "would you get mad at me if i do something?" and i turned to look at him and didn't even have time to answer because he just started kissing me. i went along with it but then pulled away and told him how weird it was. but then we kissed some more and it was getting pretty intense.. we only kissed though. idk what to think or do. like we get along so well and have a lot in common but idk how a relationship would be. i don't even know if he would consider us having a relationship. he just kissed me.. he didn't even ask me to be his girlfriend or anything. i'm scared he's just playing with me but idk... this happened yesterday btw, and last night he kept signing on and off of aim and then he sent me a music file of our favorite band and then signed off.. and today he hasn't talked to me. i feel weird, but i like him. ughh.. sorry for the long post! what should i do? we might hang out tomorrow, but he hasn't even talked to me so idk. he's online now but on away and i don't want to send him a message first. oh, and while we were kissing i asked him why he did that and he told me because he wanted to. he said he wasn't just using me but idk what to think.. i've never been in that situation of a friend just going and kissing me. he told me how we have so much in common and that's what he likes about me but it was just so awkward. i told him he didn't even ask me to be his gf and so he asked me while we kissed and i told him it depends but i never gave him an answer because idk what to say. i do like him and i would go out with him. i feel like he only asked me to be his gf because i told him why he didn't you know? i'm only afraid because i always thought he played around with girls but with me as a best friend it was different. like i think i'm the only girl best friend hes ever had.. but for some reason i always got that he wasn't bf material.. not just for me, but for any girl. like i would always think he wasn't serious. but he told me and i quote "why do you think that about me? you think i'm just gonna forget about you tomorrow? you're my biffle (we call eachother that lol as in bffl). i'm not like that and you should know i just joke around. i'm like the biggest loser." lol.. this is weird for me. i wanna talk to him.. but i'm scared of getting hurt.
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anyone? Embarassed

You just have to tell him how you feel about the situation. Honesty and communication is what is most useful in ANY relationship. Ask him if that kiss was a signal that he wanted a relationship. That you don't want any games, but the honest truth. If he does want something more then it's up to you what you want, but either side here could get hurt. When you go from a friendship to a romantic relationship you have to be very careful as it can lead to turmoil if the relationship does not work out. Yet, again there are strong friendships that can surpass those kind of things. You just have to plain out talk. Don't be afraid to make the first move for talking just be honest it's the only way you'll be able to stop questioning all of the "what ifs" it will put things at ease for you and possibly for him. Just be careful.

I agree with Silentdeadlyrose.

Hmm, it sounds like a legit relationship, I was in a very similar situation, and then everything went south and it was a mess, I won't go into detail, but it didn't turn out very well. But that was just very, very bad luck, my advice to you is, if you believe deep down that he is being serious in his feelings for you, and you see him in a way that it would have lasting happiness, then go for it. :)

But if you don't see that happening, I wouldn't, it could make things awkward after.

I hope I was some help.

:]

Paragraphs would be helpful.

Be honest. Tell him the truth about how your feeling.

Let him know you're feeling confused.

Too many chances for it to get messed up due to a misunderstanding if you don't tell him how your feeling.

You'll know more from his reaction about your comfort level in trying a different relationship.

Good luck! If you REALLY like him. . .tell him that too!

Well, the two of you just took two steps forward.  I'd recommend taking one step back to friendship level... with maybe a little additional flirting.

Being his friend was what obviously got him to like you in the first place, so don't change anything you're doing.  Just go about the friendship the same way you always have and don't make too big of a deal out of the kiss.

ok the other day a verryyyy and i mean verryyy similar thing happened to me!!! im kinda stuck just like you and need big time advice!!

ive known my best friend (guy) for about 11 yrs..we grew up together i see him very often as our parents also hang out alot so hes always at mine or im at his. Over the past few months i noticed that hes kinda been more touchy -feely with me as in he hugs me more he would play with my hand or massage it and u know things like that. though i never really took notice. then few months ago i noticed that he has become uninterested in my love life completely.. whereas before he would always ask hows things with this guy hows things with that guy. now if i even mention another guy he kinda just changes the subject.

so neways after the last few months of gettin more and more closer...  if finally happened. he was at mine last week we were just hanging out in my room watchin tv and he asked me to give him a neck rub and i did (i did this before and he just cuddled me that was it) this time he ended up kinda kissing my neck... and then kissing me all over my face.. just lil pecks on the places he was biting me previously. I was loving it and i did wana kiss him.. but didnt have the courage.. so .. our heads were like half an inch apart and hes kissing my cheek and then he kissed the side of my lip and before i knew it we were kissing.. full on kissing!!!!! at first i was thinking omg omg omg!! then i really got into it and so did he.

after the kiss we both just sat there thinkin oh ****.. it was soooo awkward we didnt know what to say.. i just said to him pls dont freak out!!! lol
 he then txt me that night when he went home sayin im not freakin out im totally calm (which i know he wasnt)
 i asked him does he regret it he said no if it wer up to him we would have carried on.. but the thing is he was the one that stopped went to the bathroom came back all kinda cold and he didnt try to kiss me again.
I said to him u know i dont do friends with 'benefits' coz i dont want it to just be a physical thing and he said i knoww dont worry its not. i really like him and i duno what to do now?!!!
i saw him once since this happened and i dont know how to act.. and hes all playing it cool now bt then he will come over and hug me like before but thats about it, and our convos over msn are kinda not the same we dont flirt so much anymore.. 

 
The problem is i really like him but hes a lil younger than me.. and he hasnt really had many girlfriends.. Has he totally freaked out now???
I duno someone help!!!! i think im seeing him on friday he's prob gna come over to mine.. what do i do?? what if he tries to kiss me again? what if he doesnt????how do i act??!!

There are worse things than a romance growing out of a friendship. Most couples start that way.

If you are both into it, don't be afraid to take it to the next level.

It's interesting to me that there is so much consternation about such a natural progression.

#9  
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i have the exact same issue :o although theres a third component which complicates things further...another girl who likes the guy!! Who's also a mte of mine... here's the story...excuse the spelling and grammar, was typed in a hurry....

my best friend is a guy and we have been friends for about a year, we're really close and we tell eachother everything. we have an extremely physical and affectionate relationship. My female friend fancies him a lot and he says he likes her too, but a couple of days ago he slept round my house with another girl and she fell asleep, we were hugging and he kissed me on the cheek and then he suddenly started making out with me properly and at first i pulled away cos him and my other mate are meant to like eachother, but then something made me carry on. we kissed for nearly 20 minutes. the next day when we met up he didnt mention it but while we had been kissing he whispered in my ear 'this is our secret, i love you so so much'. i realised i have really strong feelings for him but my female friend who likes him talks about him all the time and its only ha matter of time beforre they could be ina relationship..

HELP!! PLEASE!! what do i do? i can't talk to him about it in case it puts him off doing it again!!

xxx

If it's only a matter of time before they could be in a relationship why would you want a relationship with him?

Sounds like he's a playboy. If he's "messing around" on these other girls why would you want to be with him? He'll do the same thing to you!

If you don't mind his multiple relationships then go right ahead but if you're a one man woman don't expect him to be your one woman man. Doesn't sound like he's made for that!

Good luck!!! I hope the best for you!!!

ohohcherri:This guy has been thinking about doing this for a while and finally got his courage up. It seems like he is really into you. Full speed ahead. :)

cutiepie1988: same deal. he stopped asking about other guys when he realized he was getting feelings for you. If you like him, go for it.

geewill: is there any evidence that he likes your friend at all besides him saying so? Have they gone on dates, spent lots of time together, etc? Do please talk to him about it, if it puts him off you then it really wasn't meant to be and would have ended badly anyway, so you're better off knowing now. Tell him you liked what happened but you don't want to hurt your friend, and you won't be "the other woman", and if he wants you he has to be straight about it.

Good luck to all three of you. Young love/lust is the BEST. And it's even better when it starts as friendship - that's how the very best relationships begin.

I'd just sleep with him and wait to see if he calls the next day.

Surprised thts the same ting that happen to me but different, he didnt ask me if iwould get mad,,,we were in gym sitting down in the blechers listing to music on his phone, there was this song playing saying some ting tht iwant to kiss her but idkk wat would happen or sum like tht it was in spanish but anyways he was leeing foward talkin to  my friend and then wen he moved back he juss strated rite into my eyes nn it just happen, then we juss stared at each other again and it happen again, but like way b4 any of this happened he would always be flisting around with me he would hold me from my waist, hold my hand, try to kiss me nn call me his girlfriend. iREALLY like him but idnt know he flirts around WAY too much with other girls and then there was this girl tht liked him but he didnt and he said tht if she ask him any ting tht he was going to say tht iwas his girlfriend,, tht day at school it was movie day and we were laying down on the floor messing around with each other he keep flirting with me nn holding,kissing my hand the girl saw us and then like later on told him that she didnt like him any more oh wait rite b4 she told him we were talking and itold him to put my money inside his back pack and said that if i gave him a kiss he would i told him ok but get closer,,as he was leaning over the girl tabbed him on the sholder and told him that, she also delete her number from his phone a said 'you dnt need it anyways' or sum like that idnt really remember but then he juss turned around and told me that he loved me and then he lend over and kissed me then after the movie we were outside and he was hugging me and then he tried to kiss me but my sister was infront of us so igave him a kiss in the cheek....he gets me jealous by saying that selena gomez is his girlfriend and stuff like that, ihate that hes such a flirt, suposaly this other guy my friend told me that he was cheating on me with 4 other girls but idk, then hes told alot of people that im his girlfriend,,idkk if its true im confused itought we were just playing around with that!!?? eather way ilike it. hes always telling me that he loves me, he gave me this little heart and said it was him and not to losse it or break it cause he'll die nn itold him tht iwas going to keep it forever,, ifeel kind of weird knowing that he was like my best best best guy friend, the one itrust/trusted with evry ting and well ifell in love with him

 

any ways enof about my story......

well iget wat u mean, me too im scared of getting hurt my ex cheated on me nn he was cheating on his girlfriend with me yeah wow well just try it out maybe hes not joking around maybe hes serious, but then again you never trully know b/c you know how guys can be sometimes well just get a friend to ask him someting about you and if he likes you or sum sum.........just dont get too carried away and iget the part were u say tht it seems weird him beening you bffl and every thing and the part of him asking you out just b/c u asked him why he didnt

 

I didn't have the energy to read everyone elses posts - but I think being friends with your significant other is important! You'll both go into things with a better understanding of each other.

So yes you are probably a little bit shocked since you weren't expecting this - but sit down and think about what you want and what questions you have for him and then talk about it with him!  and if you two decide to date then set your ground rules for the relationship (exclusive etc) and see where it goes.

It sounds like an exciting opportunity to me. :)

Original Post by splitrail:

I'd just sleep with him and wait to see if he calls the next day.

 Where do I sign up for the thong? I want a week's supply. NOW.

lol...that's funny....

anyways....this is my advice only...take it or leave it. 

So being best friends is a GREAT start to a relationship sometimes...as long as both parties are thinking the same way.  I say he sounds like a typical nice guy....sure he messes with a good deal of women, but he hasn't messed with you until now....that tells me that he has much respect for you, and has decided that it's time to settle with the person whom he considers dear to him, or he could have just been wanting to see what it was like to kiss you.  Either way...there is some kind of attraction there or he wouldn't have done it.  The fact that you pulled away from the kissing MIGHT give him some mixed feelings as to how you feel and this also could be the reason he avoids you a little, but don't read into it too much....but confront this situation head on.  You have been friends for a good amount of time now, so I'm sure you both can be open with each other....this is the beauty of friendship before dating.

Don't be afraid of getting hurt....everyone has to go through it once or twice.  I say....talk to each other not about being together, but about life in general.  you don't necessarily want to PLAN a relationship...so that's why I don't think you should talk about you two dating.  just see where his head is at.  Maybe he is ready for something serious, and that's why he kept you as his best friend, because he knew someday that he could love you, and THIS may be that day.  Keep your eyes and ears in tuned to everything he does, because now you guys have a little more than a friendship and you want to try to make sure that everything goes the way you want it to.  Control the direction of the conversations you have by initiating, but leave the platform open for him to reply freely.   REMEMBER...this is a GREAT opportunity for the both of you IF YOU ARE ON THE SAME PAGE......the only thin left is for you to find out if you both actually are....

good luck Sista.... :)

Potter :)

Original Post by geewill:

i have the exact same issue :o although theres a third component which complicates things further...another girl who likes the guy!! Who's also a mte of mine... here's the story...excuse the spelling and grammar, was typed in a hurry....

my best friend is a guy and we have been friends for about a year, we're really close and we tell eachother everything. we have an extremely physical and affectionate relationship. My female friend fancies him a lot and he says he likes her too, but a couple of days ago he slept round my house with another girl and she fell asleep, we were hugging and he kissed me on the cheek and then he suddenly started making out with me properly and at first i pulled away cos him and my other mate are meant to like eachother, but then something made me carry on. we kissed for nearly 20 minutes. the next day when we met up he didnt mention it but while we had been kissing he whispered in my ear 'this is our secret, i love you so so much'. i realised i have really strong feelings for him but my female friend who likes him talks about him all the time and its only ha matter of time beforre they could be ina relationship..

HELP!! PLEASE!! what do i do? i can't talk to him about it in case it puts him off doing it again!!

xxx

 Yikes....this one takes a bit more care.....hhhmmmmm.

 

I admit…while it is “FUN” being dangerous, and keeping a secret as he put it….I think some words need to be exchanged here.  First of all….Ladies…DON’T ever expect a guy to talk about what happened the “other night” if it was something that was totally not planned….not that we can’t wait to talk about it….we are WAY too shy to….lol…that’s just how it is.  In this situation, Geewill, you are the person who is in charge, because you know more than both of the other people.  This is going to be tricky and dangerous.  I suggest you talk to him first, and ask him….not how he feels, but rather what he wants.  Based on his answer you can better asses the situation.  If I were in your shoes…I would be very straight foreword and to the point.  If he explains that he wants to be with you, then I would tell him that you MUST confront the other girl, and let her know what’s going on…try to tell her you are not in the business of “TAKING” guys away from friends (in a nicer way of course).  If she likes him a lot you must let her know what’s going on.  If he decides he wants to kick it with the other girl….let him know that you guys can still be friends (if you want) but that all the physical stuff has to stop…………to be honest I’d rather you didn’t stay friend if he chooses her….not because of his choice, but because it would be uncomfortable for the both of you, and the other chick might not like the relationship you guys have….no matter how innocent.

Bottom line…you have to find out what he WANTS.  After that you have some decisions to make.  If he is with other girls, and telling YOU that he loves you……………if this is what you are saying, then he is just out to get some from you and it has always been his goal.  He could be playing you…watch out.  The key is... if he is sincere….you want to really try to get the other girl to understand the dynamics of the situation, and how it came to be what it is.  

 

Good luck.

Original Post by cutiepie1988:

ok the other day a verryyyy and i mean verryyy similar thing happened to me!!! im kinda stuck just like you and need big time advice!!

ive known my best friend (guy) for about 11 yrs..we grew up together i see him very often as our parents also hang out alot so hes always at mine or im at his. Over the past few months i noticed that hes kinda been more touchy -feely with me as in he hugs me more he would play with my hand or massage it and u know things like that. though i never really took notice. then few months ago i noticed that he has become uninterested in my love life completely.. whereas before he would always ask hows things with this guy hows things with that guy. now if i even mention another guy he kinda just changes the subject.

so neways after the last few months of gettin more and more closer...  if finally happened. he was at mine last week we were just hanging out in my room watchin tv and he asked me to give him a neck rub and i did (i did this before and he just cuddled me that was it) this time he ended up kinda kissing my neck... and then kissing me all over my face.. just lil pecks on the places he was biting me previously. I was loving it and i did wana kiss him.. but didnt have the courage.. so .. our heads were like half an inch apart and hes kissing my cheek and then he kissed the side of my lip and before i knew it we were kissing.. full on kissing!!!!! at first i was thinking omg omg omg!! then i really got into it and so did he.

after the kiss we both just sat there thinkin oh ****.. it was soooo awkward we didnt know what to say.. i just said to him pls dont freak out!!! lol
 he then txt me that night when he went home sayin im not freakin out im totally calm (which i know he wasnt)
 i asked him does he regret it he said no if it wer up to him we would have carried on.. but the thing is he was the one that stopped went to the bathroom came back all kinda cold and he didnt try to kiss me again.
I said to him u know i dont do friends with 'benefits' coz i dont want it to just be a physical thing and he said i knoww dont worry its not. i really like him and i duno what to do now?!!!
i saw him once since this happened and i dont know how to act.. and hes all playing it cool now bt then he will come over and hug me like before but thats about it, and our convos over msn are kinda not the same we dont flirt so much anymore.. 

 
The problem is i really like him but hes a lil younger than me.. and he hasnt really had many girlfriends.. Has he totally freaked out now???
I duno someone help!!!! i think im seeing him on friday he's prob gna come over to mine.. what do i do?? what if he tries to kiss me again? what if he doesnt????how do i act??!!

 HA...your situation is much better than the other two girls, because he already explained to you that it's not just a "THING".  If he is for real.....then he's just shy.  Women don't seem to understand that no matter how sexy you think a guy is...70 percent of them are shy.

As of right now…I seeYOU being the initiator.  He did his part.  Take charge and be THE WOMAN.  There is nothing to second guess here…and there is nothing wrong with you asking him to be your man.  The way it sounds to me….he is waiting for YOU to make the next move.  If I was him I would probably be a little nervous…thinking that you didn’t want MORE to happen so that’s why he’s not going to kiss you again…that’s why he’s going to act like it never happened, and that’s why YOU need to step up your game, and take control.  Seems like you are off to a good start, but don’t let the opportunity slip if you like him.  Let him know how you feel, but without saying too much (you don’t ever want to feed a guy’s ego….they start trippin’).  Tell him you like him, and you would like to pursue a relationship if it’s possible…if he say yes/ok…then it will be confirmed.  But don’t say…Ohh…I like you SO MCUH…YOU ARE SO SEXY…eeeehhhh…NO.  Be in control, and control you emotions as well.

 

Good luck

 

Potter J

My best friend kissed me too.

She is not a HE, though. I am not a HE, either. It was awkward. In a HOT MESS kind of way. Didn't know if our friendship would survive it but heck ya it did...we are tighter than ever and my Boyfriend [who witnessed it] is a typical guy and thought it was all HOT!

Life goes on

Original Post by fitnessgirll:

My best friend kissed me too.

She is not a HE, though. I am not a HE, either. It was awkward. In a HOT MESS kind of way. Didn't know if our friendship would survive it but heck ya it did...we are tighter than ever and my Boyfriend [who witnessed it] is a typical guy and thought it was all HOT!

Life goes on

 where is the camera when you need one....HAWT

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