Should I complain about coworker?
I am having a hard time deciding what to do about my coworker. She comes in late, leaves early, takes days off, leaves me to work alone, abuses flextime, changes her schedule at the last minute -- this has been going on for 6 months or more. She comes and goes as she pleases, and it is screwing up my work schedule, when I can take time off, etc. The other day this happened, and she asked me why I was mad, so I just told her that "It's really annoying when you change your plans at the last minute because the rest of us can't make plans." She was very angry that I said this, though I did not raise my voice or lose my calm. Apparently, she thinks I was just being a b*tch that day, not that I was making a valid argument about her behavior.
Usually I feel that you should not complain and that you should be direct with the person causing the problem, but it's like she does not even hear you, she just sees red and becomes furious.
Should I talk to my supervisor about this or should I just try my best to ignore her? She's holding a grudge against me and making it very unpleasant to work.
How does your supervisor not know about it already?
Because the boss works days, and we work off-hours nights evenings and weekends, so for the most part, we don't see the boss at all. My boss only finds things out if people tell her or if she looks very closely at the timeclock readings, which she usually doesn't unless there is a problem.
Original Post by huggitbear:
Usually I feel that you should not complain and that you should be direct with the person causing the problem
And that is a great philosophy. However, when direct contact does not work you should always take it to the next level rather than let your feelings over what she is doing simmer. :P
I say talk to the boss if she won't respect that others are being influenced by her actions, especially if respectful direct contact changed the way she treats you as a co-worker.
It's best to get it sorted with the boss. No reason to be more miserable at work than you need to be.
The thing that sucks is if she's not technically breaking the rules (I've got a few co-workers that're AMAZING with loopholes regarding calling in, medical leaves, schedule changes, and so forth), there's not a whole lot the boss can do either. Unless you're fortunate to not be in a union and your boss can decide discipline and when to apply it.
I say casually bring it up to your boss that your co-worker's schedule is greatly conflicting with your life and you, along with other co-workers, are getting frustrated. Beware, though. She may get even angrier if the boss brings it up to her.
Maybe she'll get so mad she'll quit!
That's what the boss is for. If you've tried to address the problem to the problem, and it didn't help or made it worse...more extreme measures are needed.
If it isn't addressed, she may continue to push the boundaries and the annoyance will continue to build. In not much time, some more serious intraoffice relationship trouble could arise.
You don't have to "rat her out" exactly. Maybe the next step should be a mediation, or bring up the issue with your boss (requesting advice) without giving your boss the name of the person. That may help you get a feel for how they might deal with it.
What is the best way to broach that kind of subject without coming across as a whiner or tattler? How would you start that conversation out?
Original Post by huggitbear:
What is the best way to broach that kind of subject without coming across as a whiner or tattler? How would you start that conversation out?
What I would do is first document when she comes in etc.being factual and accurate. Anything you can provide to back up your information, such as notes she leaves or the names of other people who have heard her changing her schedule, would be helpful. Then write your boss a memo. I wouldn't try to discuss it, just state your position clearly and without any rancor - just a simple statement that you felt it should be brought to her attention, and the facts you've collected. Leave your feelings out of it.
I'm going to bet that your boss is aware of the abuse of time off and may be preparing to do something. Your memo would give her some ammo to use.
I would have told the boss the minute she freaked out over you being calmly direct with her. Nothing wrong with telling the boss, especially if she is causing everyone else greif. I am sure your boss would be more upset to lose all his workers due to one of his workers making things miserable. Likely after she gets a reprimand and is not able to do the things she has been doing, she'll just quit and try her cr*p somewhere else. She obviously doesn't have any work ethic.
I must say--I agree, you should document your co-workers comings and goings, etc. It seems that calling her on an issue only made her dig in her heels, so this would give you a solid leg to stand on. Also, I wonder why your immediate Supervisor doesn't know what is going on also, unless they are buddies. Good luck--Nancy
"Supervisor doesn't know what is going on also, unless they are buddies."
Yikes, if that is the case you may want to hold off on telling the boss. Geesh i hope that's not the case because that wouldn't be a good situation for you if you were to go tell a supervisor. 
It's messing with your schedule and she was unreceptive when you tried to talk about it, so I'd say you'll have to report it, or else nothing's going to change.
Original Post by jnance44:
No, no, they are not buddies at all. Our supervisors actually don't like my coworker because she is very outspoken and says anything she thinks, even when it is really negative/inappropriate to talk to your supervisor that way. I believe we have all been hoping she finds another job, but the job market is so awful right now...who knows when that will happen. She's been "going to leave" for two years now 
Original Post by huggitbear:
I am having a hard time deciding what to do about my coworker. She comes in late, leaves early, takes days off, leaves me to work alone, abuses flextime, changes her schedule at the last minute -- this has been going on for 6 months or more. She comes and goes as she pleases, and it is screwing up my work schedule, when I can take time off, etc. The other day this happened, and she asked me why I was mad, so I just told her that "It's really annoying when you change your plans at the last minute because the rest of us can't make plans." She was very angry that I said this, though I did not raise my voice or lose my calm. Apparently, she thinks I was just being a b*tch that day, not that I was making a valid argument about her behavior.
Usually I feel that you should not complain and that you should be direct with the person causing the problem, but it's like she does not even hear you, she just sees red and becomes furious.
Should I talk to my supervisor about this or should I just try my best to ignore her? She's holding a grudge against me and making it very unpleasant to work.
I recommend not doing anything. Here is why:
1. You arent this persons supervisor.
2. If you put yourself in the role of being the time cop" then be prepared for the consequences.
3. Do not let that persons conduct effect you. Do the right thing. If you are hired to be at work from 8-5pm then be there and dont let your office mates personal actions effect your judgement.
4. If you just cant stand someone who doesnt work for you and you dont have an influence over goof off then either go work some place else or start your own company.
I know this might sound bad but truly you just need to leave it alone.
dave: "She comes and goes as she pleases, and it is screwing up my work schedule, when I can take time off,"
It is screwing and reflecting upon the OPs schedule. She should not be a doormat. Why should she sit and stew and have a double standard? Of COURSE she should go to her supervisor - that is what they are for.
I swear she works with the same girl I work with!
I have gone to supervisor several times. There IS something in the works. She appreciates any and all feedback and documents them.
and if you're not fortunate enough to work for a company that does the right thing (and you end up further doormatted) then I'd flip into vengeance mode and pull the same crap on her. muahahahaha
Agree with Dave. Would not document anyone's activities but your own in this situation.
The OP was obviously angry enough for the co-worker to pick up on it. So for the OP to say that she was calm and not reacting out of anger is not entirely accurate. If she noticed you were pissed, huggit, she was already on the defensive when you spoke about your concerns.
My recommendation would be to stay calm and reasonable, and with kindness approach her in a non-confrontational way. Explain you want a good relationship with folks and sincerely want to resolve things between the two of you, and perhaps simply ask her if she's got personal issues that are making things tough for her right now.
It will take a while and require setting aside ego, but with patience you may be able to resolve the situation without further negativity.
Original Post by crazydiamondchrysalis:
dave: "She comes and goes as she pleases, and it is screwing up my work schedule, when I can take time off,"
It is screwing and reflecting upon the OPs schedule. She should not be a doormat. Why should she sit and stew and have a double standard? Of COURSE she should go to her supervisor - that is what they are for.
I swear she works with the same girl I work with!
I have gone to supervisor several times. There IS something in the works. She appreciates any and all feedback and documents them.
and if you're not fortunate enough to work for a company that does the right thing (and you end up further doormatted) then I'd flip into vengeance mode and pull the same crap on her. muahahahaha
I am sorry that you dont agree and I guess I could defend my opinion but it isnt worth it....my last parting shot before I stop the bantering is "who is the supervisor"? the person that needs to do their job is THE SUPERVISOR...they get paid to check their folks that work for them...if not then they are just another co-worker. If the supervisor already knows then you have done what you could do and leave it alone.
Gotta agree with Dave... do you really want your coworkers to think of you as the tattler?
Original Post by kathygator:
Agree with Dave. Would not document anyone's activities but your own in this situation.
The OP was obviously angry enough for the co-worker to pick up on it. So for the OP to say that she was calm and not reacting out of anger is not entirely accurate. If she noticed you were pissed, huggit, she was already on the defensive when you spoke about your concerns.
My recommendation would be to stay calm and reasonable, and with kindness approach her in a non-confrontational way. Explain you want a good relationship with folks and sincerely want to resolve things between the two of you, and perhaps simply ask her if she's got personal issues that are making things tough for her right now.
It will take a while and require setting aside ego, but with patience you may be able to resolve the situation without further negativity.
I was visibly irritated, I will admit that, but I did not raise my voice and I was calm when I said it. You can be calm and irritated at the same time.
